A Touch of Passion (boxed set romance bundle)

by Uvi Poznansky

  After the burial, Charity and Judy returned to the house to be with David but he had gotten out of the limo without a backward glance. Without a single word to anyone, he’d hurried into the beach house and locked himself into his and Maria’s bedroom.

  Charity followed as far as to knock on his door but stopped with her partially fisted hand in midair when she heard him sobbing. She didn’t know whether to go in or leave him to grieve in private for a little while. She wrung her hands together as she thought back to how her attempts at comforting him the night before had turned out so badly. Then she had searched every room until she had finally found him out pacing on the unlit deck. Even in the darkness she could see how empty his eyes were so she walked over and placed a hand on his arm.

  His overwrought whisper could barely be heard above the crashing waves. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”

  His words ripped a hole into her heart so she wrapped her arms around his waist and for a moment he returned the hug. Without warning he had pushed her away and shouted, “She wouldn’t have died if I hadn’t wanted a family! It’s my fault!” He had then taken off running down the steps that led out onto the beach. She had been too stunned to run after him. Not knowing what else to do, she sat down in the nearest chair out on the deck until dawn and waited. When he didn’t return, she changed clothes and drove to the hospital to feed Suzette before returning to the beach house to get ready for the funeral.

  Even though it was possible David would reject her offer to help, Charity knocked on his bedroom door and waited. The moment she knocked the sobbing stopped, and just when she thought he wasn’t going to answer, the door opened. By now he had removed the jacket and tie he had worn to the burial and had unbuttoned his shirt. His usual well groomed hair looked as if he had run his fingers through it several times. His eyes were swollen and had dark circles under them.

  They stared at each other for several long moments before he finally said, “I know you want to help but please just give me some time alone. There aren’t any words anyone could ever say to take away this pain.”

  Charity reached out and touched his arm. “You don’t have to go through this alone. You have so many people who love you.” She would have said more but he stopped her by shaking his head and shutting the door. She stood there a few minutes trying to decide if she should just go in anyway, but then decided she really had no other choice but to leave and go find her mother.

  Judy was by now in the living room staring out the patio doors. The expression on her face clearly said she wasn’t really seeing anything and her mind was miles away.

  Charity walked over and stood beside her. “David’s locked in his room again and wants to be left alone. If you don’t mind I’m heading back to the hospital to be with Suzette.”

  Judy turned and kissed Charity’s cheek. “Go on. I’ll stay here with David in case he decides he wants to talk to someone.”

  Charity stayed with Suzette until eight that night so she could return to the beach house to see if David had changed his mind. When she returned, he was still locked in his room. The next morning she knocked on his door to see if he wanted to be the one who handled Suzette’s discharge from the hospital, but when he didn’t answer, she and Judy took his car and went to collect the baby without him. Charity prayed once Suzette was home he would no longer avoid the reality of having a daughter who needed his love and attention.

  When they entered the nursery, the attending nurse handed Charity a gown to cover her street clothes with before allowing her to pick up Suzette. It was about four sizes too large and kept falling off of her shoulder. Instead of repositioning it yet again, she just left it dangling where it was. While the nurse prepared all of the necessary discharge paperwork, Charity walked the floor with a very unhappy baby and Judy stood off to the side trying to stay out of everyone’s way.

  Every day since Suzette’s birth, she had made a point of going to the hospital and staying just so Maria’s new infant wouldn’t feel alone or abandoned. She’d been arriving every morning before five am to be there for Suzette’s morning feeding, and wouldn’t leave until one of the nurses forced her out of the nursery late at night. The only day she left right after the morning feeding was the day she attended Maria’s funeral.

  She was fairly certain David had never seen his infant daughter. The night Suzette was born he had signed some paperwork giving permission for Charity to be her guardian. She hadn’t thought anything about it at the time because she knew he was grief stricken and needed to focus on Maria’s final arrangements. Soon, each day he let go by without any effort to see Suzette, Charity’s worry for him grew.

  Now Maria was buried and Charity was totally lost and uncertain. She didn’t know the first thing about taking care of an infant but a promise was a promise, and she wasn’t going to break hers no matter what needed to be done to keep it. She was exhausted from trying to comfort Suzette while the nursery bustled all around her. No matter how much she patted, rocked, walked, and even cooed, nothing worked.

  During one of her many walk-byes, Judy reached out and touched Suzette’s head. “Isn’t she the most beautiful baby you have ever seen? She’s a little Maria made over.” Judy’s voice was low so as not to disturb the babies surrounding them. “David’s breaking my heart. He’s a lost man without Maria. I’ve tried talking to him but he acts as if he doesn’t hear me.”

  Charity tenderly caressed Suzette’s silky black hair. There was no telling how many times she had repeated that same action since her birth. The fine hair stubbornly refused to lie down no matter what Charity did to it, but the motion was one of the few things that helped calm her. “I know, but I’m at a loss about what to do too. Both David and Suzette have refused any of my attempts at comforting them. I don’t know what to do for either one of them.”

  Judy stroked Suzette’s cheek and the baby’s mouth turned up at that corner, in a semi-grin. It was a sweet sight after how inconsolable she had been all morning. After a second or two of her repeating the soothing motion, the baby closed her eyes. She whispered, “You’re doing everything you can. Just help David with the baby until he can come to grips with the reality that Maria is really gone. He has to finally see Suzette needs him. She’s already short one parent. She can’t afford to lose another one, no matter how much he’s grieving. Once we take her home there will be no way he can remain indifferent forever.”

  The young nurse hurried across the nursery with a large bag in one hand and some paperwork in the other. “If you’ll sign Suzette’s discharge papers she’s all yours to take home.” The young nurse smiled tenderly at the now sleeping baby. “She’s so beautiful.” She placed the paperwork on the counter near Charity and offered Judy the bag. “I believe this is everything you’ll need to help you through your first couple of days at home.” She took a can of formula out of the bag as Judy held it and showed Charity the label. “This is the brand the pediatrician wants Suzette to try first. He wants you to call him if she has any trouble keeping it down. His number’s in with the discharge papers. It may not be the right brand for her, but he won’t know until she tries it for a couple of days. Do you have any questions? The poor little dear, to lose her mom is just so sad. If you have any questions at all, just call anyone here.”

  Charity had a million questions, but they were so numerous she didn’t know where to begin. Her hesitation kept her from blubbering them out in an embarrassing muddle and she just smiled brightly instead. “Thanks, but I think I will be able to handle everything once I get home. My mom will be staying for a few more days, and I’m sure between the two of us we will be able to handle everything. Thanks for all your help. Should I change her into the clothes I brought from home?”

  “You can change her right over there.”

  Charity and Judy both turned to look at the table the nurse was pointing toward. Charity carried Suzette over to the table and changed her into a little pink sleeper. Everything felt surreal and she couldn’t help but
remember how Maria had cried when Charles and Sonia had sent the sleeper to the house for the baby.

  David was not at home when they returned. Charity took Suzette to her newly decorated room and put her into the crib Maria had so lovingly spent hours designing. Memories of her going over each and every design before finally deciding upon the one Suzette was now sleeping in flooded her thoughts. The dark stained wood and its intricately cut curves and swirls were elegant against the pale yellow walls, the border filled with fuzzy brown bunnies, and the bright yellow bunny-covered bedding.

  Just a couple of months earlier, Maria had sat in the new padded rocking chair and watched while Charity had hung pictures, folded, and put away baby clothes. They had both grinned foolishly at each other after she had finished putting on the sheets and tying in the padding in the crib. Maria had asked Charity to wind up the musical carousel with dangling baby bunnies so she could hear it, and then closed her eyes the entire time it had played. Charity had looked around, marveling at how adorable the room was and the joy she’d felt from helping Maria put on the finishing touches. Now there was an eerie air of sadness and grief in the newly decorated, sunny nursery.

  With a single minded determination, Charity wound that same carousel again to chase away the demons haunting the house. There was no way she was going to let anything dampen what should be a happy day in any household; welcoming a new life into it. Every baby deserved a warm welcome into their own home. If she had to get that welcome from her, then so be it. She would do whatever it took to make certain Suzette found the happiness and love Maria wanted for her.

  David didn’t return home that night. Fortunately for Charity, Suzette only woke up a couple of times to be fed and have her diaper changed. Afraid of not hearing the baby if she cried, she had decided to sleep in the rocking chair in the nursery.

  Charity was warming up formula in the kitchen the next morning when Judy came wandering in from the guest bedroom. “Did you sleep at all last night? You look terrible.”

  Instead of growling like she wanted, Charity just glared at her mom from across the top of the baby bottle. “Thanks mom. I feel terrible. My back is killing me. I slept in the baby’s room all night.”

  If Judy noticed the surly attitude she didn’t comment on it, but she did look surprised by Charity’s last statement. “On what?”

  “The rocking chair.”

  Judy laughed but stopped as soon as Charity’s glare turned into a deep frown. She cleared her throat. “Why? You have a baby monitor. Why didn’t you use it?”

  Charity pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat in it. She put the bottle on the table and held her head in between both palms. “I tried, but when I went to bed Suzette never cried so I didn’t know if it was working properly or not. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hear her from my side of the house so I slept in the rocker to make sure I was there if she needed me.”

  Judy took the bottle from off the table and made a shooing motion with the other hand. “Go on to bed. I will feed and take care of her while you go get some sleep. There’s no point in you walking around like a zombie all day. Sometime today, test the monitor to see if it works. There’s no point in losing a perfectly good night’s sleep. There will be precious that anyway without you losing it over nothing.”

  Charity leaned across the table, gave her mom a swift kiss, and then headed off to bed. It was the afternoon sun coming through the large sliding glass doors that finally woke her up. When she saw how late it was, she grabbed her old terry robe and wandered out into the living room to look for Judy. She found her on the sofa rocking Suzette. Her mom was making cooing noises, and the baby was intently focused on her mouth as if trying to figure out what was going on.

  Before saying anything Charity glanced around for any signs of David. There weren’t any obvious ones so she asked, “Have you seen or heard from David at all today?”

  Judy didn’t even look up from Suzette to answer. “No. He might have slipped in without me noticing while I was in the nursery changing Suzette’s clothes earlier. Maybe he’s in his room.”

  Charity headed down the hallway to Maria and David’s bedroom feeling hopeful. The door was partially open so she pushed it the rest of the way. The burgundy color king-sized bedspread was rumpled but it didn’t look as if it had been slept on. She stepped into the room and walked over to its master bath. The door to it was open so all she had to do was look inside to see that he wasn’t in there either.

  Trying not to panic, Charity went back to the living room. “He’s not in his bedroom. I wonder where he’s at. You don’t think something might have happened to him? Do you?”

  “I’m sure if something was wrong someone would have gotten in touch with you. David’s too well known. If anything had happened to him, it would be big news, and everyone would know. Relax dear. He will be home soon. I’m sure of it.”

  It was easy to see her mother thought she was overreacting so Charity plopped down into the nearest chair. “How’s Suzette? She hasn’t been too much trouble has she?”

  Judy placed the baby on her shoulder and began patting her back. “Suzette has just been a perfect little angel. Maria would have been so proud of her daughter. She has the most flawless skin and when I look in her eyes I see Maria.” She ran her fingers over the back of Suzette’s head. “Just look at this hair! I don’t think I have ever seen so much hair on such a little baby! She is just the most precious thing in the entire world!” Judy planted kisses on the nape of the baby’s neck.

  One look at how content Suzette was on her mom’s shoulder made Charity wonder if she would be able to do as good a job as her mom was doing after she went home. What did she know about taking care of a newborn? “Are you still leaving tomorrow?”

  Judy’s regret showed on her face. “I’m sorry to say that I have to. Your dad has a big meeting and dinner where all the spouses are supposed to attend with them. He’s receiving an award from the English Department for the extracurricular courses he did this summer. He asked me before I came out here if I would go with him. You know he never asks anything of me. I have to go and let him know how proud I am of him. You’re going to be fine without me. If you have any problems at all you can always call. Surely David is making some sort of plans for the baby. I know that you are glad to help him as long as he needs your help, but I can’t imagine he hasn’t already begun thinking about his and Suzette’s future.”

  Charity threw her legs across the arm of the overstuffed chair and stared at the ceiling. “He has only spoken to me a couple of times and neither time went well. I just wish he would come home and see his daughter. I’m so worried about him. Why isn’t he here? Suzette was so loved and wanted by Maria. That by itself should be enough of a reason for David to be here. He should be thankful his daughter lived. As bad as the outcome was, it could have been worse. He could have lost both of them.”

  Judy looked to see if Suzette was asleep or not. “I couldn’t agree with you more, and I have no doubt he will see this all just as clearly as you do, in his own time.”

  ❋

  The next morning she watched her mother climb into the cab that was carrying her to the airport. She waved until the cab disappeared and then reality hit her like a hard punch to the middle of her stomach. She was now all alone with a newborn baby.

  David was still nowhere to be found. After another week went by without any word from him, she could no longer keep her concerns to herself. She finally called Michael and asked him what he thought she should do. He had no answer but promised to quietly put out feelers to see if anyone had heard from David. Of course Michael was more concerned over the fact that David was in danger of looking bad in the press and that he might in turn ruin his career. Charity didn’t give a damn about his career. She was now concerned whether he had taken his own life because of his grief. She really couldn’t think of any other reason he would desert Suzette other than that.

  In the middle of trying to adjust to Suzette’s
needs and wants, Charity grieved for Maria in her own way. In the late afternoons she would carry Suzette out with her to sit on the deck. While they rocked and listened to the sounds of the ocean, Charity talked to Suzette about her mother. Even though Suzette couldn’t understand anything being said, this somehow made Maria feel closer. Charity and Suzette used these times on the deck to mourn. She couldn’t help but worry about David at the same time. Was he okay? Did he ever think about his daughter?

  Charity was just putting Suzette back into her crib after feeding her when the phone rang. She hurriedly closed the door and ran through the house to answer it before it woke up the baby.

  Michael’s soothing voice was a welcome sound after two weeks of only the baby for company. “How have you been holding up?”

  “I’m fine. Have you found David?” Charity listened to a few seconds of silence on the phone line.

  He finally answered, “He called me this morning.” Charity drew in a long relieved breath. At least she now knew he was alive. She could handle whatever else Michael had to say to her. She took a few seconds to absorb that news and then waited another few seconds for Michael to continue. When he didn’t elaborate, her frustration finally got the better of her. “Where’s he at? Is he okay? Is he coming home?”

  “David and Maria own a little cottage in the Virgin Islands. He sounded sad and lost but he says he’s fine. He wanted me to set you up an expense account to use while he’s gone.”

  Charity let out a long frustrated sigh. “Did he happen to mention how long he plans on being in this little cottage on the beach? Did he ask how his new born baby is doing? Because if he didn’t, I don’t give a damn what else he had to say.”

  Michael stopped her before she could say anything else. “I know you’re tired and worried, but while he’s not thinking like the David we both know and love, and while you want him to do the right thing by Suzette, I’m not certain he’s capable of knowing what that is at this stage in his grief.”