Funny to me. Addie was running to a place where she said the outcasts could be themselves and it’s apparent she’s had that here. The question is why hasn’t she embraced it? The silence between us stretches, and when it becomes apparent I don’t really want to answer her observation she moves to get up.
“Ashley will be here to check on you in a few, but she said you should be good to go in about a week or so. The wound wasn’t deep even though it bled a lot. You have ten stitches, and you should take it easy because of the blood loss.”
“Thanks for sitting with me.” I wonder what I’m wearing under here, nature is seriously making itself known.
“We’ve been taking turns.” She smiles. “Somehow you’ve made an impression on a lot of our members.”
I’m not even sure how I did that, and I want to ask, but again I gotta take a piss. “Am I clothed under here? I gotta hit the John.”
She laughs loudly, the laugh reminding me again of Addie. “Yeah, you’ve got clothes on. Do you need help up?”
Part of me wants to tell her I got this, but there’s another part of me that isn’t sure. “I don’t know,” I answer truthfully.
“Then I’ll be here in case you need me.”
She pushes the covers off my legs, then steps back, waiting for me to stand. When I do, the room tilts slightly, but I manage to stay upright. She reaches for me, holding onto my arm. “C’mon, we’ll take slow steps.”
The walk to the bathroom feels a million miles long when I know it’s fifteen steps at the most. When we finally get there, I’m sweating and close to passing out again. “It’s the pain and blood loss. You’ll be okay in a few days,” she reassures me.
As I go inside and shut the door, I wonder how she knows. A woman like her with a man like her husband? She’s probably seen a lot in her years. Maybe even experienced some of it herself. Taking care of business, I brace myself with one hand against the wall, trying to ignore the fucking ringing in my ears. I’ve been through worse, I tell myself. A lot worse, I can handle some pain, some blood loss. It won’t take me out.
Once I’m done, I move over to the vanity, washing my hands before I get a good look at myself in the mirror. Fuck, I look like the walking dead. Typically I have a darker complexion, one that looks like I’ve been out in the sun some all year. Right now I look like a damn ghost. There’s dark circles under my eyes, my black hair is oily and I feel like I’ve been living in my own sweat for weeks. More than anything, I want a shower, but there’s no way I’m going to tell the woman sitting with me that.
“Are you okay?” she asks softly as she knocks on the door.
Going out, I feel steadier on my feet. “Yeah, I am.”
“Good.” She grins. “Ashley’s here and she’ll talk to you about what you need to do. There’s food in fridge and freezer, along with drinks. Your clothes are freshly washed and put away in your dresser. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to use the burner next to your cell and give a call. If you press one, it’s programmed to get to the club. Right now I’ve got to go to work.
“Thank you for all your help.”
“No problem.” She grasps my shoulder. “Sometimes we all just need a little bit of help. It was my pleasure.”
There’s a knock at the door, and even though I really want to get up and answer it, I’m not ready for that yet. “Come in,” I call out, hoping my voice sounds strong, hoping like hell it’s not someone who wants to hurt me. If it’s the dude who stabbed me, he’s just gonna have to off me here, because I’m groggy as fuck.
The man I recognize a Liam comes through the door. “Hey, how you doing?”
“Been better,” I admit as I struggle to sit up straighter.
“No, don’t hurt yourself on my account.” He comes through, having a seat in the chair across from the bed.
“I just wanted to come and see how you’re holding up. Some of the members of the club have taken an interest in you and they were understandably worried about what happened. Jagger said curse of the mug got ya,” he grins, smiling softly.
“I didn’t even touch it,” I argue.
“Never know with that thing, it’s a finnicky bastard.”
We’re quiet for a few moments, and I immediately think this is probably how Liam is normally. Quietly observing things around him before he speaks. His gaze has taken in what they’ve done to the house, and it’s moved over me a few times.
“Are we cool?” I get nervous when people pay this much attention to me. Maybe he’s found what’s been going on with Addie and he’s here in place of his friend.
“We are, I’m actually here on club business.”
Now I’m fucking nervous. His look is direct, his eyes serious. He moves and the leather of his cut creaks softly. “In the next few months, there’s going to be some changes in the club. I’m not at liberty to say what, but we’ll possibly be looking for new members, and your name has been brought up. I’d like to invite you to prospect for us, if that’s something you’d be interested in.”
I’m speechless. Never did I expect those would be the words out of his mouth. I came north looking for something, not sure what, and I’m pretty sure I’ve found it here in this town, with these people.
“I’d be down for that.”
“Great, we’ll be in touch when you’re feeling better. In a few days?”
He holds out his hand to me. “In a few days,” I promise.
And as he leaves, I realize my entire life is probably about to change. But this change? I’m looking forward to.
Addie
W: I’m awake and doing okay.
Immediately when the cell phone at my side goes off and I see who it is, I grab it, quickly typing out a reply. I’m helping at Walker’s Wheels today since Caelin is still doing most of my work at CRISIS. Good thing, because in the office, nobody can be all up in your business when you’re texting on your phone.
A: I’m so glad. I’ve been worried to death, but I couldn’t come right out and ask how you are. Ya know?
W: I get it. I do have a favor to ask.
This man saved my life, there’s not a lot I won’t do for him.
A: Anything. What do you need?
W: Some food and a shower. There’s food here, but I can’t stand long enough to make it. Same with a shower. Ashley said I could take one as long as I covered my stitches, but I need to watch out that I don’t get dizzy. I feel fucking disgusting.
A: Give me a few minutes and I’ll get back to you.
It’s lunchtime and while the guys are busy, the office has been pretty dead all day. Glancing around, I see Remy, but I don’t want to go to him. He’s already tried to corner and question me about why I called him and why Wild was stabbed. That’s a conversation I don’t want to get into today. Don’t plan to get into for a long time. Finally I zero in on Jagger.
“Hey.” I wave to him as I walk over to where he’s working on a car.
“Hey yourself, thanks for coming to help us today. Hopefully Roni will be better tomorrow.”
I nod, acting like I’m paying attention to what he’s saying to me. “Yeah the stomach virus sucks. Hopefully Carter didn’t give it to Rooster too,” I point over to where he’s working on a car with Liam.
“Right? The last thing we need is for it to make the fucking rounds.”
“So, I have an errand I need to run, and I’m not sure how long it’ll take. It’s that time of the month, ya know, when I get everything waxed, and I forgot I had the appointment today.”
Jagger looks at me with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open. He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here, and I knew he would. If there’s anyone who has a hard time seeing us ladies all grown up, it’s sweet-as-can-be Jagger. “Goddamn, Addie, I fuckin’ made you grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup when you were sick. Couldn’t you have said that in a way that didn’t tell me where you were going?”
“Well, I didn’t want to lie to you.” Forget that’s what I’m actually
doing. “So you think I can jet? There’s only been one customer, and it looks like it’s gonna snow.”
I glance up at the low-lying clouds, feeling the chill in the air.
“Fuck, just get out of here. Don’t even tell your dad we had this conversation. The way things are going, I’m thinking you don’t even have to touch the fuckin’ mug for it to get you. First Caelin, now Wild. My luck, I’m gonna be next.”
I giggle as he continues going on about the mug, even as I walk away. Pulling my cell out of my back pocket, I shoot off a text to Wild.
A: Be right there!
Luckily for him, I’m well-versed in the properties the club owns, and he doesn’t have to tell me how to get there. In actuality, he probably can’t tell me how to get to where it is he now lives. Parking behind the building this property uses as a garage, I make sure my SUV can’t be seen from the road. Chances are if he hasn’t already, Steele will have this place wired for sound, and video. Probably just to chronicle the comings and goings, to make sure there’s nothing crazy going on. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Just in case he’s already recording, I pull my hoodie up over my head and wrap my scarf around my face. When I get to the door, I knock softly, and then wait for him to answer.
“Sorry, I’m slow moving,” he greets me.
I nod, pushing slightly past him, and then shut it. “More than likely Steele is keeping track of who comes and goes, because that’s what Heaven Hill does for the people it cares about. So, we’ll have to make my entrances and exits quick.”
“Gotcha.” He has a seat in a recliner that I’m pretty sure we had in our house for several years.
“They fixed you up, huh?”
“They did.” He smiles, running his hands over the smooth leather. “I never had anything like this before.”
“Even as a kid?” The way he says the words makes me think he had a hard time growing up.
“Bounced around as a kid. Mom could never pay rent on time. We got evicted a lot. Everything I had, I could fit in a backpack for fast moving.”
His face reddens after he says that, then he clears his throat. “About food and the shower. You think you can help me?”
I’ve avoided talking about things my whole life, so with a smile and a wink, I motion to him with my finger. “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”
He slowly gets up from the chair, stopping once he’s even with me, moving his hand in to cup my jaw. “I’d much rather be getting you dirty.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Same here, Wild, but I think it’s gonna be a couple weeks before we resume regular activities.”
“I heal fast.” His eyes flash with a heat I know I can grow addicted to.
“We’ll see.”
“Yeah.” He winks. “We’ll see.”
Fourteen
Wild
The water flowing through my hair feels better than I ever imagined it would. There have been times in my life where I wasn’t in a position to be able to take a shower. When clean clothes weren’t an option, and when hygiene wasn’t at the forefront of my mind – surviving was. But since I’ve been out on my own, not having to worry about others, I’ve made it a point not to be who I was before. That kid in school who wore dirty clothes, who maybe hadn’t had a shower in a few days, and who looked like they could use a brush through their hair. Seeing the way I had looked in that mirror today? It’d taken me back to a time I thought I’d moved far away from. Knowing that Addie came over to help me? Means the world to me, even if she’ll never know it.
“That feels so good,” I moan as she cups her hand over my forehead and pours the warm water with a cup.
She’s kind of helped me shower and given me a sponge bath when my legs could no longer handle my weight. She changed into a pair of my shorts and a shirt. Well, I said they’re mine, but I’ve never seen them before. I have a feeling the club saw what little I had and made some donations. The thought causes my throat to tighten. Even though it’s a nice gesture, it brings back so much I thought I’d left in my past. Living with my mom had been a nightmare. Living with my grandfather had been happy, but we had no money. In some ways, I’m back to being that kid again who couldn’t afford shit, but I also kinda see this for what it is. They take in those they want to help, and I’ve become their new pet project.
Until they find another, because that’s how that shit always works.
“Do you want me to condition it, too?” she asks softly.
“No, this is fine. I’m hungry.”
My stomach picks that minute to growl loudly in the confined space. We both laugh and I do my best not to be embarrassed. Never mind the whole thing is sort of embarrassing in a way. One thing I can say, I’ve never let my guard down like this with anyone else before. “Sorry, Shortcake, I don’t know when the last time I ate was.”
“It’s okay,” she giggles. “Let’s get you dried off and some food in your stomach.”
If this were any other time, any other place, I’d be trying to make a move on her, but right now I don’t feel up to it. I’m not even sure I could get it up if I tried. The amount of pain medication in my body makes me feel sluggish and I hate it. I’ve never been the type of person who wanted to smoke weed, do drugs, or get so drunk I blacked out. I always like to be in control of who I am and what’s happening to me. Which is why this situation sucks so bad.
“Do you need some more pain meds?” she asks, using the towel to rub through my hair vigorously.
“No, I hate the way they make me feel. They make me sweat too, remind me of that guy who stabbed me. What happened to him anyway?”
“I don’t know for sure.” She helps me step into fresh clothes. “He’d been harassing my mom too, so I have feeling on that alone my Dad had him taken care of.”
“Like killed him?” I know her dad’s a tough guy, but the thought of someone dying doesn’t sit well with me. Not that I’m going to give my prospect patch back or anything.
She shrugs. “I honestly don’t know. More than likely, he got beat up and was told to never come back. He’s an asshole.”
There’s something I wanted to ask her as soon as I’d gotten stabbed, but trying to slow down the bleeding and not passing out had been more important than anything else. “What did he want with you that night?”
We move into the living room/kitchen/dining nook, where I have a seat at the smallest kitchen table known to man, and watch her go to the fridge.
“His wife and daughter had been staying at CRISIS. We helped them move to Louisville and start fresh. He wanted to know where they went, because he’d changed so much.” She rolls her eyes.
“What does CRISIS do? I’ve heard it mentioned a lot since I hit town.” By people who’ve come into the bar, people around town, and even when I was getting my bike fixed.
“It’s my Mom’s pride and joy.” She pulls out what looks like some frozen soup and already made hamburgers. “Want me to heat this up for you?”
“Please.” My mouth waters at the thought of having something in my stomach.
“CRISIS helps people who can’t help themselves. It started out as a shelter for women who’d been beaten or sexually assaulted. A place where they could go get the help they needed. It’s morphed into a haven for anyone who needs a place to be or feel safe. We’ve housed teenagers running from parents, men who’ve been sexually assaulted just like women, mothers and children getting away from the men in their lives, some men and children getting away from the women in theirs. We have to be able to verify your story, and you have to be willing to help yourself. Other than that, we don’t ask questions.”
If only something like that had been around when I was growing up, maybe my mom and I could have gotten out of the situation we were in. “Seems like important work.”
“It is.” She nods. “My mom,” she starts and stops, “my real mom was someone who should have come there for help. I don’t know the full story, but she was in a spot in her life she couldn’t
handle. I’ve found out from people talking, not knowing that I was listening, that she overdosed on drugs. From there, I’m not sure how I came to them, but Meredith and Tyler adopted me, and then had Caelin right after.”
“Wow!”
“Yeah, as far as I know Mom had just opened CRISIS not too long before. She’d wanted kids, but they’d never been able to have them, and right as they got me, she found out she was pregnant.” I grin over at him. “Surprise, huh?”
“Why did she open CRISIS?” Now that I’ve got her talking, I want her to keep going, want to learn about every single part of her life. Something tells me she doesn’t open up to a lot of people, and to know she’s opening up to me makes me feel amazing.
Addie stops what she’s doing, takes a breath, and then looks at me. It seems like forever before she answers the question and I wonder for a minute if it was way too personal, maybe we aren’t on that level with one another yet. Then quietly she speaks words I know she hasn’t spoken much before.
“She was raped. She was beaten, raped, and left for dead. My dad found her and brought her to the club. He was sergeant at arms back then, and apparently the two of them had been tiptoeing around each other for a while. When he found her, she was in a bad way. He nursed her back to health, and they’ve been together ever since.”
“That must be a strong love, Shortcake.” I run my hand through my hair. “So many men are judgmental about shit like that.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen it at CRISIS, but the love between Meredith and Tyler Blackfoot? It’s true, it’s pure, it’s fucking strong, and it’s what I want someday,” she whispers.
For a minute I don’t say anything, and then I push words through my dry lips. “Don’t we all?”
And maybe this right here, this moment, is the first crack in the façade that I’ve been holding in front of myself for so many years. This is the first break in the armor of Wilder Evans, and surprisingly it doesn’t feel like a weakness. Instead, I feel fuckin’ strong. Like I could take on the goddamn world with my bare fists. Crazy thing? For the woman standing in my kitchen. I would. No questions asked. Kinda like I figure Tyler Blackfoot was when it came to a woman he found beaten, raped, and left for dead one night. Maybe me and him have way more in common than even I could have imagined.
Wild: Heaven Hill Generations #2 Page 8