Discovering Beauty

by Robyn Peterman

  “Why aren’t you taken already?” I asked.

  “Hold that thought,” he said, with a quick peck to my lips as his siblings entered the garage. “I’d like to revisit it later.”

  Nodding without saying a word, everything inside me tingled. Maybe it was because we could die tomorrow and I was the only girl available, but I didn’t care. Even if I’d had the choice of a million men, I knew without a doubt I would want only him. I wasn’t a great deal at all, but again I didn’t care. If he didn’t care, then I was going to pretend he truly wanted me.

  “You staying?” Nancy asked her brother, still looking at me strangely.

  “For forty-eight hours,” Carter said. “Is that a problem?”

  “No. We haven’t seen your sorry ass for five years, but you’re always welcome. Does your friend have a name?” she asked.

  “I’m Georgia,” I said, extending my hand to her. “Thank you for letting me stay.”

  Nancy’s smile was slow but grew wide. “Any friend of Carter’s is a friend of mine. Although I’ve gotta say that I’m shocked he has any friends. Carter’s a dick.”

  “No, he’s not. He’s a good man,” I said, miffed that she was insulting her brother. And he was a good man. He could have dropped me off a hundred times, but he hadn’t.

  Nancy’s laugh matched Caleb’s as they stared at me with wonder and delight.

  “You either have her fooled or she’s as crazy as you are,” Caleb said, whacking his brother on the back and handing him a shirt to put on.

  “I’m crazier—completely insane,” I told them with a small smile. I was sad that Carter would be covered up, but it would be far less distracting. “Pretty sure I would beat all of you, hands down.”

  “Is that a challenge?” Nancy asked with a twinkle in her eye.

  “It’s the truth,” I replied.

  “Hmm,” she said, still staring and grinning. “We’ll have to see about that.”

  Chapter Seven

  Carter

  This wasn’t a fucking movie with a happy ending, but watching Georgia with my brother and sister felt so right it made me uncomfortable. Flirting with her in the car came as easy as breathing. I wanted her with everything I was.

  However, that was wrong. I knew it was wrong. Yet I was pretty sure I was going to ignore that fact.

  “So it’s Carter, Caleb and Nancy?” Georgia asked as my sister plied us with food and drink. “Why don’t you have a C name too?”

  “I do,” my sister said with an eye roll to Caleb and me. “It’s Catherine, but those bastards call me by my middle name, Nancy, because they know I hate it.”

  “You hate it?” Caleb asked in mock horror as Nancy tossed a spoon at his head.

  “I’m used to it now,” she said with a chuckle. “After thirty-five years, I’m numb. But I’ll bet Georgia would love to hear your middle names.”

  “Absolutely not,” I snapped, giving my sister the raised brow that she knew meant I was serious. I fucking hated my middle name. Honestly, Nancy was a fine name. She’d gotten lucky. Caleb and I hadn’t fared quite as well.

  “Mine’s Norman,” Caleb said, with his hands on his heart and his face contorted into an exaggerated expression of deep sorrow. “I freely admit it. The truth will set you free or appall your friends, neighbors and girlfriends.”

  “You don’t have a girlfriend,” Nancy pointed out.

  “This week,” he said. “Last week I had three.”

  “Whatever,” Nancy said and then turned her attention to me. “I’ll hold the information close to my chest for the moment, but if you piss me off I will sing your middle name from the rooftops.”

  “You’re a hard woman,” I said with a laugh. Looking at my sister made me realize how much I’d missed her. Maybe it had been a mistake staying away…

  “Tell me something I don’t know,” she shot back and then took a seat across the table from Georgia and myself. Popping a grape into her mouth, she chewed slowly then rested her elbows on the table and placed her chin in her hands.

  “I’m assuming there’s a story here. You going to tell it?”

  “Never assume. It makes an ass out of you and me,” I replied with a tight smile. “However, yes. There’s a story and we need your help.”

  “Can I blow up the car?” Caleb asked with a gleam of excitement in his eyes.

  “Eventually,” I told him. “Right now, I need you to listen.”

  “Roger that,” he replied as he took a seat next to Nancy and waited.

  “Georgia, do you want to tell it or would you prefer I talk?”

  My beautiful damaged girl placed her hand over mine and gently squeezed. “I’ll tell it.”

  And she did.

  My brother and sister listened with rapt attention to every detail for over an hour. They asked questions and Georgia answered them. It was horrifying to hear, but Georgia told the story as if she was speaking about someone other than herself.

  I understood her detachment completely. It was a survival mechanism that I’d used as well. My sister began to take notes about five minutes in and my brother grabbed a laptop and did the same. Georgia’s voice was clear and emotionless for the most part, but she came to life when she spoke of me.

  Feeling a sense of pride and ownership that I had absolutely no right to feel, I sat next to her and pressed my thigh to hers. I wasn’t sure if I was giving or taking comfort, but I wasn’t going to think too hard about it. It felt right and that would have to do for now.

  “Jesus H. Christ,” Caleb said when she was done. “You might actually have been correct about winning the fucked up contest.”

  “I know, right?” she said with a weak giggle that hit me somewhere deep inside.

  After everything she’d been through, she still had joy left—her humanity was still intact. It amazed and humbled me. I’d left my own behind years ago, but for a moment I wished I hadn’t. I wished I had something to actually offer this tragically beautiful woman.

  I didn’t. It was a fact. And I was a fool to long for something that would ruin what was left of her sanity. I wasn’t good for anyone.

  “What does the H stand for?” I asked, wanting to deal with nonsense. It was more appealing than having to deal with my shortcomings.

  “What H?” Caleb asked, confused.

  “Jesus H. Christ,” I said. “The H. What does it stand for?”

  Caleb thought for a moment then shrugged. “No clue.”

  “How about Harry?” Nancy suggested as she wrapped a blood pressure sleeve around Georgia’s arm.

  “Nah, too British,” Caleb replied. “Herman?”

  “Too awful,” Georgia said, watching Nancy nervously.

  Clearly doctors were not a welcome sight for Georgia, but she stayed remarkably calm. Her body language was tense, but she was letting Nancy work on her.

  “How about Hesus?” Georgia proposed with a laugh.

  “A little rhymey, but I like it,” Nancy said, grinning. “Are you going to be comfortable with me taking some blood?”

  Moving silently and standing next to Georgia, I put my hand on her shoulder. Her body relaxed slightly at my touch, but her muscles were still taut with stress and fear.

  “You don’t have to,” I told her.

  Looking up at me and giving me a sad smile, she refocused on my sister. “If you take my blood, can you compare it to Carter’s and rule out that I’ve made him a monster like me?”

  “You’re not a monster,” I growled, walked over to the wall and put my fist through it. The pain felt good. What I really wanted to do was find the fuckers who’d shot up and sliced Georgia and tear them to shreds. Since that was an impossibility, the wall would have to suffice. For good measure, I made a second hole. I considered a third, but I was a guest in my siblings’ home. Two would work for now.

  Everyone was silent for a moment and then went on as if nothing unusual had just occurred. My siblings and I had grown up around horrific violence. Nancy had taken the p
ain of her childhood and became a healer. Caleb had taken his agony and lost himself in the emotionless mechanics of the hacking world, blowing up things for pleasure on the side. I’d simply steered my own torment into becoming a trained killer. None of it was pretty, but it was what it was.

  “I can test blood from both of you,” Nancy confirmed. “But Carter is correct. You’re not a monster.”

  “You haven’t seen me,” Georgia whispered.

  “I’d actually love to see your change,” Nancy said with a clinical detachment. “But I don’t want to put you into a simulated extreme circumstance to achieve it. And I really don’t want to see you get amorous with my brother to achieve it either.”

  Georgia face turned a delicate pink and she scrunched her nose in embarrassment.

  “You wouldn’t be invited,” I said flatly, giving my sister a death stare.

  Of course Nancy laughed. Not a surprise. She was my sister after all. “I’d like to see the results Tex has though,” she said. “I’d like something to compare these to.”

  “I have them.” Georgia reached into her duffle and handed Nancy a jump drive. “All Tex’s findings are recorded there.”

  “Speaking of jump drives,” Caleb said, noticing what Georgia had handed over. “You said you had proof of everything. Correct?”

  Georgia nodded.

  “On a jump drive?”

  Again she nodded.

  “You want to hand one of those over? I will assure you that if anything happens to you or my brother, I can have that information out to every major news outlet in the world in five minutes flat.”

  Normally I wanted to punch my brother senseless, but right now I wanted to hug him. It would be so outside the norm of our behavior, and I was certain he would give me shit for the rest of our lives. But the smile and look of astonishment on Georgia’s face would be worth the pain of Caleb busting my chops for decades.

  Quickly, she handed him another jump drive. “Thank you.”

  “Not a problem,” he said winking at her. “Think of it as an insurance policy.”

  And now I wanted to deck his fucking ass. She wasn’t exactly mine, but she definitely wasn’t his. The winking had to stop.

  “All right then,” Nancy said, watching my reaction with amusement. “I’ll take the blood, and then give me an hour or two for results. Deal?”

  I felt Georgia’s body tremble as she lifted her sleeve and held her arm out to Nancy. My sister’s furious intake of breath matched my own and my brother’s as we all looked at the scarring. My girl held her head high and gave us a sad smile.

  “I know,” she said softly. “It’s horrible to see.”

  “Not even a little bit,” my sister said in a clipped and enraged tone. “It just makes me want to kill the fuckers who did this. It’s totally inhumane and wrong.”

  “It’s really okay,” Georgia said weakly, trying to make us feel better.

  Nancy glanced over at me with a hollow expression and I nodded slowly. I knew what she was going to do and I was floored. My chest felt tight and old anger burned inside me—almost consuming me. Breathing was difficult and I had to focus to keep from growling. I’d been so wrong to stay away from these people.

  She turned her back to Georgia and lifted her shirt. Caleb turned away with a vicious muttered curse, but I stared at my sister’s back. It was covered with small circular scars—burn marks from cigarettes—at least forty. They were faded, but unmistakable. It still killed me to see what they had done to her. Death had been kind for the fucks that had given birth to us.

  Georgia gasped and shot out of her chair. Laying her cheek against Nancy’s pitted skin, she held my sister tight. The room was eerily silent except for Georgia’s quiet crying.

  “If you’re a monster, I’m one as well,” Nancy said flatly, lowering her shirt, turning and taking Georgia’s hands in hers. “What doesn’t kill you…”

  “Should be killed,” Caleb hissed.

  “I agree,” Nancy said to Caleb. “What was done to Georgia should be avenged.”

  “I’d be delighted to blow them up,” Caleb offered sincerely.

  “They’re mine,” I said through clenched teeth. “I get the honor to tearing them limb from fucking limb.”

  Georgia’s eyes filled as she gazed at the three of us in surprise. She swiped at her tears and gave us a watery smile. “You people are insane. I’ve never felt so included and understood in my life, but they’re mine. They trained me to kill and I’m going to thank them by showing them exactly what I can do to them.”

  “Actually, I might have to blow the bastards sky high,” Caleb pointed out. “If Tex can get you two fugitives out of the country that leaves me with the honors. And trust me, it would definitely be an honor.”

  “The idiot has a point,” Nancy said as she prepared the syringes and swabbed both of our arms. “However, I’d just like to add for shits and giggles that I’m outstanding with poison.”

  “And that’s supposed to make me feel calm?” Georgia asked with a wince and a lopsided grin that seemed to delight my sister.

  Nancy nodded and laughed. “Yep. I’m an evil genius and I’m on your side. You want to turn away while I do this?”

  “Umm, no,” Georgia said, shyly glancing over at me. “I want you to sing Edelweiss.”

  “Jesus Hesus Christ,” Caleb shouted. “Can I record this? Please let me record this.”

  “No,” Nancy snapped. “You may not record this, you asshole.”

  Of all the things she could have asked of me, I understood this like no other. I wasn’t a good singer, but that wasn’t the point at all. It was what had saved me and she was asking me to save her. I knew the request meant far more than helping her at the moment. I also knew I would fail her miserably at some point, but…

  “I will,” I said. “I will sing to you.”

  Her smile melted through the exterior of my cold, dead heart, and I realized I’d felt more alive in the last twelve hours than I had in decades. She was the light to my consuming darkness. I wondered if she realized that the Edelweiss flower was known for its beauty and purity. It was fitting in so many ways.

  And I sang.

  It was simple. It was terrifying. It was right.

  Chapter Eight

  Georgia

  Waiting for the results was excruciating. Carter had gone off with Caleb after they’d taken me to a beautiful guest room to shower and change clothes. Nancy was my size and had loaned me a pretty floral sundress that floated around me along with some fabulous jeweled sandals.

  Looking in the mirror I felt like a girl without a care in the world. My eyes appeared bright and my hair was clean and silky. It was a true luxury and I felt like a princess. All of it was a lie of course, but I wanted to hold onto the fantasy for as long as I could.

  Wearing a spaghetti strap dress wasn’t something I ever thought I’d do again but these amazing people had scars of their own and mine didn’t scare or repulse them. The marks on Nancy’s back had horrified me and made me want to hurt the people that had done it to her. They were old scars that I was fairly sure had been burned into her skin by their parents from the little Carter had shared and Caleb’s reaction. For the first time I was grateful I’d simply been ignored by my parents. I’d wanted to ask Nancy more, but would wait until she chose to tell me.

  However, it really didn’t matter if she ever did. Nancy had made her point. What hadn’t killed her made her stronger. She’d become a doctor—the exact opposite of someone who causes harm.

  If I got out of this shit show alive, would I be able to turn my pain into something good? Could I become something whole or would I forever be broken?

  “You didn’t infect Carter,” Nancy announced, walking into the room and sitting down on the bed.

  Relief made my knees buckle. I dropped onto a chair so I didn’t hit the floor like a sack of potatoes.

  “Are you sure?” I asked, feeling lightheaded and wildly grateful for at least one small fa
vor in the enormous mess I’d made.

  She nodded and spread her notes on the bed. “That’s not the way it works. He’d have to be injected like you were.”

  “But he was out for three days,” I told her.

  Nodding again, she studied her findings. “You have traces of poison in your system, Georgia. It was in a higher concentration when Tex evaluated your blood. Now it’s far weaker. Your bite put some of that poison into Carter’s bloodstream, but it never would have caused him to turn into a panther. It could possibly have killed him, but my brother is a tough motherfucker. I’m sure the vaccines he’s had for going overseas to fight helped.”

  “So my bite is poisonous?” I asked, feeling ill.

  “Was,” she corrected me. “I’d hazard a guess since you’re off the regimen of shots and ointments, you’re losing the poison. Therefore losing the ability to turn.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Not a hundred percent, but that’s doctor speak. As an MD, I’m never allowed to be a hundred percent sure about anything. However, as a human being and the sister of two annoying assholes, one of whom likes you a lot… yeah, I’m sure,” she admitted and then gave me a sly little grin. “So my advice to you is not to bite Carter again anytime soon, but everything else should be okay.”

  I felt the heat crawl up my neck and settle squarely on my face. Mortified didn’t quite cover how I was feeling. How freaking uncomfortable was it to talk to the sister of the man you’d only known for twelve hours about possibly getting intimate with him?

  Very.

  Very uncomfortable.

  “Look, umm… Nancy. I’m not, you know…” I mumbled wondering if I should insert my foot all the way down my throat and pull it out of my ass or just stop now. Knowing when to call it a day wasn’t one of my stronger points and to my horror, I kept speaking. “I think your brother is a wonderful guy. I mean, he’s kind of rude and a little weird, but he’s nice too… and hot. Wait, you don’t want to know that.”