Divided We Stand (What's Left of My World Book 4)

by C. A. Rudolph

  Dave turned directly to her. “What was he saying to you?”

  Lauren’s eyes met with his. “He was telling me to leave…but not in those words.”

  Dave almost cracked a smile. “Yeah. That sounds about par for the course.” Dave patted Lauren on her thigh. “You didn’t have any business being there, Janey, and Fred knew that.”

  “None of us had any business being there,” Lauren corrected. “I couldn’t believe he was telling me to leave; in fact, I refused. I told him, hell no, there was no way I was leaving, and that only made him angrier. Then Norman yelled at me, telling me the same thing. About ten seconds later, Christian did too. They all wanted me to leave.”

  “So you had three men hollering at you, telling you to get the hell out of Dodge, and you just stood there?” pondered Dave. “Tell me, Janey, what made you finally decide to abort?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t answer that. But when I did, I grabbed everything I could, and I ran like hell. I didn’t even know where to go. And it wasn’t easy under the weight of all the gear I had. Between all the stuff I was lugging and the plate carrier I had on, there had to be ninety extra pounds attached to me.”

  Dave pursed his lips and nodded slightly, casting his stare to the prison camp and the men milling about. “It’s a shitty situation, no doubt. Completely FUBAR. But you did the right thing, Janey. And it’s not easy doing what you did. Not everyone is built for situations like that.”

  “You think so, huh?”

  “I know so,” Dave asserted. “My dear, I’ve been in uber butt-pucker situations and have had to make those kinds of judgment calls more times than I care to compute. And I’m sitting here beside you—alive still today, and I’m telling you, if you don’t have to be there, then you don’t need to be there. And you don’t want to be there, either.”

  “If only I’d had the choice,” Lauren said. “The fight chose me this time—same as always.”

  “You made the decision to put yourself in harm’s way,” Dave said. “But you made it out alive, and that makes it a life lesson you can learn and build from. Overall, the injuries were minor and the casualties minimal. At the end of the day, things turned out for the better. It was a good battle.”

  Lauren turned her head to him, casting him a cold glare. “A good battle? Did you just really say that?”

  “Indeed. You’re still alive, Janey. Your unit lost a man, yet everyone else remains alive and unharmed, for the most part, still able to breathe, pick up a weapon and fight again someday if that day ever comes. In any battle, during any war, if you and your men don’t get dead, it’s a good thing.” Dave softened his tone, not wanting to push Lauren too far. “There’s no denying the boy losing his father was a tragedy. I know Fred’s hurt, but he’ll pull through. Some of your friends got beat up, and I know you incurred some trauma of your own. But injuries heal, and so does pain, and watching our friends fall has an inexplicable way of making us stronger. I know it’s dim, but there’s always a bright side. The experience is invaluable, as is the trigger time. It hardens you—renders you into a better warrior.”

  Lauren turned away, reaching for what remained of her food. “If you only knew.”

  Dave Graham’s tone sharpened. “If I only knew what?”

  Lauren didn’t respond.

  “Details, Janey. Remember my preference for such things.”

  Still, Lauren restrained herself. She sat there stoically, searching for the correct way to tell her old friend about everything that had happened to her and to her family in the days since the collapse.

  Dave was a man of poise, but his patience was waning. Feeling concerned, he set down his food and slid himself from the tailgate, then reached for her gently, putting a calloused index finger under Lauren’s chin. “Hey, talk to me. You’ve never been this cryptic before. What’s going on inside the memory banks of that intricate mainframe of yours?” he asked. “Did something happen?”

  “A lot of things have happened.”

  “Okay. Look…there’s a reason we’re both standing here talking right now. And there’s a reason we showed up when we did. In my experience, there’s always a reason for the way everything goes down. That’s just the way it is; there’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Dave held his hands aloft, touching the tips of his index fingers and thumbs together, forming a circle. “Did you know that a blue whale is the largest animal in the world…but its throat is only this big?”

  Lauren scrutinized him. “No…”

  “It is. Those blue bastards are as big as a locomotive, but they can’t even swallow a beach ball. You know why?”

  She shrugged.

  “Because that’s the way it is, Janey.”

  “Clever.”

  “I was trying to lighten the mood a little,” Dave lamented. “So much for that. Look, you have my undivided attention…but that’s subject to change before long. So talk to me. Tell me everything if you want. And if you don’t, that’s okay too.”

  Lauren had never planned on having this conversation. Up until this point, she never dreamed she’d have to. There was no way she could’ve predicted a future encounter with Dave Graham or anyone else she’d been separated from since the latest timeline in her life had begun.

  Still, she felt obligated—she owed him some sort of explanation. “There’s a lot you don’t know. The only way to explain everything to you is to just go back to the beginning.” Lauren paused. “Back to the day when everything went to shit. Back to when my dad never came home.”

  “Say again?” Dave bellowed. “Hold the phone…what do you mean he never came home? What are you talking about?”

  Lauren shrugged and shyly peered over, her hair falling over her eyes. “The last time I saw him was the night before the EMP struck. He went to work Saturday morning, same as me. He had some overtime work scheduled in the city that day. Everything seemed so normal until the lights went out in our building, and I saw all the cars stalled in the road. That’s when my heart sank. I knew what it was. My friend Maddie and I rode home on a couple of bikes we stole from work about an hour later. My sister, Grace, was there, Mom came home soon after, but Dad…well, he never did. We waited for him and worried about him. Days went by, and those days turned into weeks. And we…never saw him again.”

  Dave sighed loudly and gritted his teeth, his arms falling lifelessly to his sides. He turned his head away. “Goddammit.”

  “We were fine at first, actually, for a while. Dad planned things out for us really well. We had everything we needed and then some. We kept to ourselves and stuck to the plan we had. But one of our neighbors wouldn’t leave us alone.” A pause. “One day…a few months after, he became way more persistent; then he got violent. Things…got physical, and he attacked my mom, and…” Lauren trailed off.

  After a moment, Dave, who had grown disturbed upon hearing the news of Alan Russell’s fate, rotated back to her. His voice was stern, but forgiving. “And you acted on instinct. Like you were trained to.”

  Lauren nodded, her eyes welling up from remorse and nostalgia. “Yeah. I shot him,” she said, her chin in her palms. “We bugged out the next day—loaded up everything we had and drove to my grandparents’ house in Woodstock. But it wasn’t long before things got really hairy there. The FEMA presence was strong—they were all over the place, dressed up like the Los Angeles SWAT team. Orange notices about martial law were stapled everywhere, and we were told if we didn’t comply and relinquish all luxuries like stored food, they were going to come and take it, and our guns along with it. Then they were going to take us.” She paused. “My grandfather practically ordered us to leave after that. We moved to the cabin that night, and we’ve been living in Trout Run Valley ever since.”

  “So no FEMA presence there?”

  Lauren shrugged apathetically. “Not yet. But there’s little doubt in my mind that’s subject to change.”

  Dave Graham put his hands on his hips and stared off into the distance. Hanging his head, he
let out a deep sigh. “Jesus, kid. You have been through some shit, haven’t you? I’m sorry, Janey. I really am very sorry to hear all this. Now I feel like a true asshole. I had no idea.”

  “It’s okay. You’re right, you didn’t know. There’s no way you could have.”

  “Yeah, but finding out now…like this, really makes me feel like shit,” Dave said. “God only knows how the hell you’ve been getting along since then, but it couldn’t’ve been easy.”

  Lauren cracked a grim smile. “It hasn’t been easy at all, but we’ve managed. For a time, it was the worst thing in the world to me.” She paused, taking in a breath. “We’ve been attacked a few times, but we stuck together and fought back. Fred has done a great job leading us. And up until recently, everything’s been…okay, until people started getting sick.”

  Dave nodded. “The scene of the world has definitely changed—if it’s not one thing, it’s another,” he said. “You mentioned something about poisoning?”

  Lauren told Dave about the piles of apples and deceased wildlife she and Grace had found that had led to her suspicion. Then she went on about what Norman had showed them, and her conclusion that Trout Run had ostensibly been contaminated with a biological agent of some kind.

  “And it’s your contention the feds are somehow involved in this?” Dave asked.

  “It’s them,” Lauren declared. “It has to be.” She hesitated, watching his expression closely. “Why? Do you disagree?”

  Dave curled his lips. He began pacing back and forth while looking away. “Let’s just say I wouldn’t put it past them. Damn—I can’t imagine how much of a toll all this has taken on you, Janey. I can’t even conceive it. I’ve been fond of your dad for a long time. I always knew him to be a stand-up guy. Never heard anyone speak so warmly of his daughter or his family before. He earned my respect not long after we first met, and that’s not something easily accomplished by most folks I cross paths with.”

  “I think he liked you, too,” Lauren said, trying to smile and push away the negativity conjured up by recounting the past. “Seemed to, anyway. He always had the funniest things to say about you, but he trusted you, too. And Dad didn’t trust anyone.”

  “I’m flattered, Janey. I am truly flattered. And I’m glad he kept bringing you around. I always liked seeing the Russells show up for training, especially after we turned things up a notch and got the unit involved. It was good for both of you. I hope you learned something in your time spent there.”

  “I learned a couple of things,” Lauren said, her eyes glistening.

  “That’s good. Real good. And have those things served you well?”

  Lauren nodded, her expression hardening. “I’m still breathing,” she said. “A lot of people who’ve tried to harm us can’t say the same.”

  Dave smiled and almost chuckled. “Janey, there’s not a single, solitary doubt in my mind that whoever they were, justice was levied appropriately. I’m confident they had it coming to them.” He paused, taking a close look at her. “But since we’re on the topic, let me ask you this. How are you taking it?”

  Lauren lifted a brow. “How am I taking what?”

  “Let me rephrase,” said Dave. “How are you dealing with the fact that you’ve taken a life?”

  Lauren paused for long moment. Lives would be a more appropriate term, she thought. “I don’t think I know how to answer that.”

  “Give it a shot.”

  “I am. And I just don’t have an answer for you.”

  Displaying concern for her, Dave put both his hands on Lauren’s shoulders. “Look at me for a second. How…many?”

  Lauren hesitated, then shrugged, looking somewhat ashamed. “I stopped counting.”

  “You stopped counting? Or you lost count?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s both. But it’s the only way I know how to cope with it,” Lauren spouted off. She hopped down from the tailgate and stepped away. “I know I probably didn’t turn out the way you expected, and I’m sorry if what I’m saying disappoints you.”

  “Hey, watch yourself,” Dave ordered. “If anyone knows about life’s tendency to throw curveballs, it’s me, young lady. Believe me. It’s up to each of us to adapt individually…the only way we know how. And this has diddly-squat to do with my expectations. So let’s just nip that in the bud right here and right now. This is me you’re talking to, David R. Graham, former first sergeant, United States Army Special Forces, and I am exhibiting the magnitude of my concern for you. I’m worried about you, Janey.”

  “Well, don’t be,” Lauren said firmly. “I am doing just fine.”

  “Yeah. I can see that. How’s your head feeling, by the way?”

  Lauren tracked him, detecting a playful smirk emerging on his face. She tried displaying one of her own. “It hurts. And that ibuprofen your guy gave me doesn’t seem to be helping much.” She took several steps closer to him. “I’m sorry. Truth is, I missed you. I missed all of you. And I’m really glad you guys decided to show up when you did.”

  “It’s good to be missed,” Dave said. “And, baby girl, if something ever happened to you, there’s no way I could live with myself. That being said, I’m glad we happened upon you when we did, too.” He reached for her, and Lauren stepped in, wrapping her arms around his torso. The embrace was brief. Dave cautiously put his hand on top of her head, placing an affable kiss on her forehead. “I want you to know that I’m sorry about what you’ve had to go through, and I’m extremely sorry to hear about your dad. Good-natured, genuine people like the two of you shouldn’t have to be forced to deal with the nastiness in this world. I’ve never met your mom or your sister or anyone else in your family, but I’m certain they deserve the same consideration.” Dave paused, kicking the ground with the tip of his boot. “Be that as it may, I’ve changed my mind regarding your predicament. Whatever help you need back home, including getting there, I’m going to make happen for you.”

  “Why?”

  “Oh hell, I don’t know, Janey,” Dave retorted playfully. “Maybe it’s because I met this teenage girl a few years back with this…vastly large chip on her shoulder. She used to piss me off like the dickens, and I was ready to give her the boot there at first. I thought she was the same as all the rest, but she proved me wrong. She was intelligent, dedicated, and sincere—willing to work hard to get what she wanted. She strived to be better than average. She was a fast learner, and while she was my student, she even managed to teach me some things along the way. Up until the point of meeting her, I had all but lost faith in the youth in this country, but she turned me into a believer and showed me there were things out there still worth fighting for.”

  A smile slowly emerged on Lauren’s face. “That doesn’t sound like you changed your mind to me. It sounds more like you had a change of heart.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe I did,” Dave said, grinning. “So here’s the deal…I’ll arrange some decent means of transport back home, along with the good doctor and the good doctor’s consort. I’ll even look into what kind of meds we can spare so we can ship them along with you. I can’t guarantee anything, but as you’re aware, there aren’t many guarantees in life.”

  Lauren smiled. “I’ll take what I can get.”

  Dave walked back to the truck and reached for the stainless thermos he had brought along with him, then handed it to her.

  “What’s this?” Lauren asked.

  Dave winked at her. “Liquid sunshine. Just a little something to make you feel better for the time being. It might calm your nerves a bit after all the shit you’ve been through.”

  “Okay. If you say so.”

  “I do say so. Look, I know things look really bad right now, Janey. But believe it or not, we’re on the upswing of this mess. Lord knows it’s far from being over, but the good guys are well on their way to pulling out a win.”

  Lauren twisted the top off the thermos, and steam rose from the upper orifice into the brisk morning air. While watching Dave closely, she took
a whiff. “Holy shit,” she said, her eyes widening. “What is this?”

  “It’s a present. From your secret Santa.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope. He told me to tell you happy belated birthday, and he’s sorry that he hasn’t had time to come see you,” said Dave. “He’s off on a foxhunt, looking for any stray rabid dogs that might have gotten away during the assault.” He paused. “It’s not a typical birthday gift, but then again, you’re not a typical eighteen-year-old, either.”

  Lauren sniffed the thermos once more. “It smells incendiary. Is it going to blow up in my face?”

  Dave snorted. “No, but it’ll work better than that ibuprofen, just might make your vision a little blurry, so go slow.”

  Lauren giggled and hesitated before trying it. “Great, that’s all I need.” She turned the bottle up, pouring a portion of the warm distilled concoction onto her tongue, wincing at the point of contact. “Dear Lord…that is wicked strong. Is this what I think it is?”

  “Santa called it a hot toddy, but it’s not the typical recipe,” Dave said. “I think he makes his with moonshine instead of bourbon. Now, don’t drink all of it. It’s probably not the best idea after a concussion. But for someone who’s been through the hell you have…and definitely looks it, I doubt it could hurt. You look like you could use a little tranquility.”

  “Dad wouldn’t disagree.” Lauren took another sip, gasping over the sting when she swallowed. “I appreciate it. And I’ll make sure to tell Santa if I ever get a chance to see him. I guess these missions are keeping you guys really busy.”

  Dave nodded. “Yeah, that they are.”

  “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” Lauren lamented. “I’m already dreading the point where we say goodbye again.”

  “All things being equal, I’m not looking forward to it either, Janey. Thing is, I don’t think I can allow our paths to remain separate anymore. After what I learned today, it just wouldn’t be the right.”