The Helicon Muses Omnibus: Books 1-4

by V. J. Chambers

  Percussion was an enormous part of the music enclave, owing to the fact that the drum circle every evening meant that drummers played regularly and for a lot of people. Nora wandered into an area full of scattered tents and pulsing beats. Muses clustered in groups, some sitting on large drums, tapping their fingers against taut booming heads, others banging away with sticks. In the distance, she could also hear the tinkle of triangles or tambourines. Amazingly, even though none of the groups seemed to be playing together, they all seemed to be following the same beat. It was as if the air around her throbbed with it, as if she’d entered the heartbeat of Helicon, its thumping center.

  A boy she recognized from the tweens and rebels enclave loped through the tents, carrying a two-foot hand drum with one hand. He was one of the older tweens, Nora thought. Older than Sawyer, Maddie, and her, but not yet into his twenties. He was probably Owen’s age. Maybe a little older. He wore his hair in long sandy-colored dreadlocks, and he had a sprinkling of freckles across his nose. She couldn’t remember his name, but when he waved at her, she waved back.

  He stopped next to her, setting his drum on the ground. “You’re Nora, right?”

  Crap. He remembered her name. She nodded. “Um... I’ve forgotten your name.” She cringed.

  He offered her his hand. “No problem. I forget people’s names all the time. I’m Agler Thorn.”

  She took his hand. His grip was firm but not crushing. She found herself noticing the strength in his forearms, how tanned and solid they were. She looked away from him, feeling embarrassed.

  “What brings you to the music enclave? Word on the street is you’re a sculptor.”

  Nora shrugged self-consciously and glanced back at his face again. Wow, his eyes were really green, weren’t they? “I’m trying different things out. The poets seemed to think I had a good sense of rhythm, so I thought I’d try playing drums.”

  Nora hadn’t gone back to the visual arts enclave after the incident with Owen. She was afraid that she’d become so sucked into her work there that she’d neglect him again. It seemed important that she not do that. Owen needed her. For some reason, thinking about him made her feel a strange stab of guilt. But it wasn’t as if she’d done anything wrong. It wasn’t wrong to notice that a boy was tanned and strong and had very green eyes. Besides, Agler was older than she was. Of course, Owen was older than she was. Nora swallowed and tried to put it all out of her mind.

  “Awesome,” said Agler. He picked up the drum he’d been carrying and offered it to her. “Try this one.”

  “No,” said Nora. “That’s yours.”

  “It’s a loaner from the leftovers tent.” Agler pointed. “I’ll grab another one. Stay right where you are.” He darted off in the direction of the tent he’d pointed to.

  Nora clutched the drum, unsure of what to do. Agler was only being nice. Everyone knew she and Owen were together. She had nothing to worry about.

  Agler reappeared with an almost identical drum in a few minutes. He led her over to some empty wooden benches where they sat down together. “I’m learning too,” said Agler. “I’ve been playing guitar since I was a kid, but I want to branch out a little bit, you know? I thought I’d start with drums. But I’m kind of horrible at it.” He gave her a lopsided grin and demonstrated.

  Immediately, Nora could hear that his hands weren’t hitting time within the beat that was pulsing all around them. She brought the flats of her hands down on her own drum instinctively, wanting to show him where he was wrong, but, to her horror, her hands didn’t obey. She could hear what she wanted them to do, but they came down wrong anyway. She made a face.

  “Harder than it looks, right?” said Agler.

  “I know what I want to hear,” said Nora. “But my hands are playing the wrong thing.”

  Agler laughed. “Story of my life, Nora. Ever since I started playing music, I’ve felt like that. My whole family lives in the music enclave, right? And I love music. I hear it in my head even when it’s not playing. But...there’s some disconnect somewhere. I can’t ever play what I hear.” He rested his hands on his drum. “At least not yet, anyway. I’m determined to get better. I’ve been playing guitar for a long time, and I’m pretty good at that, so I figure it’ll happen with hard work.”

  Hard work? That wasn’t a phrase Nora heard much of in Helicon. The muses didn’t work. They played. “That’s interesting. Ever since I’ve got here, I’ve gotten the impression that people didn’t so much labor over things. Instead, it seems like muses look for something they’re naturally good at and don’t bother trying to do things that are difficult.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Maybe we should both skip the drums and hang out in the philosophy enclave. I think about that too. But I wonder if an accomplishment really means as much if it comes easily, you know? I like to think about things, about why people do what they do and what it all means, but I also like feeling as if I’m making progress towards a goal. I wonder sometimes if the muses are leaving things on the table. Maybe they’re focused too much on the easy way out.”

  Nora considered. “I guess it depends on whether or not you’re actually making progress, doesn’t it? Because if you work really hard and get nowhere, that’s kind of depressing.”

  Agler laughed again. “You saying I’m getting nowhere with the drums?”

  “No!” Nora was horrified. “I was being hypothetical. I thought we were talking in general.”

  “I’m teasing,” said Agler. He nudged her drum. “Why don’t you try again? I think it helps to start slow. Feel the base beat first before you try to find the beats in between.”

  Together, the two began to echo the underlying beat all around them. Nora found that this was much easier, and that as she eased into the beat, it started to swallow her. She sunk into it, felt it reverberate in her bones. Her hands seemed to move on their own as if the beat was directing them and not her own body. Slowly, new directions began to occur to her fingers, and she let them explore them. It was an odd sensation, as if the music was flowing through her instead of her making it deliberately. Her eyes closed, Nora let the drum beat play her. She disappeared into it for a long time.

  When she finally stopped playing, it was only because her arms were starting to hurt so much that it was distracting. She opened her eyes to see that Agler wasn’t playing. He was staring at her instead.

  “I hate you,” he said, but he was grinning. “You’re a natural.”

  “It wasn’t me,” said Nora. “Not really. It was like the beat sort of controlled me. Like I let it out.” That sounded completely odd and mystical, but she didn’t know how else to explain it.

  Agler nodded. “I get that. I’ve been there. It’s a good place to be.”

  Nora noticed the position of the sun in the sky. It was sinking over the horizon, meaning it was later than she’d realized. She stood up. “I need to go.”

  Agler stood up too. “Why? I was thinking of getting my guitar. I want to play with you, and I’m hell on the drums apparently.”

  “Sorry,” said Nora. “It’s late, and I have to meet my boyfriend.”

  “Oh yeah. Owen Asher.”

  Sawyer was right. Sometimes it was really annoying that everyone in Helicon seemed to know everything about her. “Can you point me back in the direction of the leftovers tent? I’ll take the drum back.”

  “No, I’ve got it.” Agler picked it up. “Maybe this is none of my business, but what’s the attraction there, anyway?”

  Nora didn’t understand. “Attraction?”

  “Yeah. To Owen.”

  Nora wasn’t sure what to say. “Well, he’s always taken care of me, you know. He was all I had in the mundane world.”

  “So you date him out of, like, gratitude?”

  “No,” said Nora, feeling a little annoyed. “I date him because I’m in love with him.”

  Agler raised his eyebrows again. He hoisted Nora’s drum over his shoulder, holding it by the bindings that held the head to the b
ase, and picked up his own drum.

  “What does it matter to you, anyway?”

  “It doesn’t,” said Agler. “I remember him from when he was a kid here in Helicon, that’s all. I guess he’s grown up a lot since then, so I’m probably being an ass for judging him on that crap.”

  Nora was still mad, but she was also interested. “What exactly did Owen do when he was a kid that freaked everyone out so much?”

  Agler looked uncomfortable. “He was kind of a bully, I guess. There was this thing...you know, never mind. It was kid stuff. He’s your boyfriend. I’m sure you know him better than anyone.” He tried a smile. “You, uh, going to come back tomorrow?”

  “Maybe,” said Nora. Agler made her feel a little on edge for some reason. “Thanks for taking the drum back for me.”

  “Sure thing,” said Agler.

  Nora rushed back to her tent, sprinting to try to get there as quickly as she could. With any luck, she’d make it back before Owen got there. If she was late, he would probably freak out. He got worried about her, and he wanted to spend time with her. The more worried he got, the more likely he’d start getting... Well, she didn’t like to worry him.

  After Valentine’s Day, she’d done her best never to forget about Owen again. They spent every evening together. They ate together. They went on walks around Helicon. A lot of times, they just hung out in Owen’s tent. As long as she showed up on time, and she wasn’t distracted when they were together, Owen was fine. She was helping him. Whatever darkness was inside him because of his powers, she was helping him keep it at bay. He told her as much. Of course, when she screwed up, he started to get worse. And it broke her heart when Owen told her that if she’d only been a little more considerate, he’d never have started teetering into the deep end. She did her best, but she screwed up more than she liked.

  She only wished Owen would stop pushing for them to sleep together. He’d gotten almost obsessed with it, and it was her least favorite part of their time together. At some point during every evening, he’d bring it up. When he did, Nora’s stomach always sank. She knew it wasn’t going to be a good discussion.

  Owen couldn’t understand why she wanted to wait. And when he’d talk to her about it, his voice would be so soft and rational. She felt like she was going insane. She knew there was no good reason to put it off. They should do it. They were in love. It only made sense. Owen wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t abandon her. She knew it didn’t make any sense to keep saying no.

  But she didn’t want to have sex for the first time after a rational negotiation. Owen’s reasons might be sound, but they weren’t particularly sexy. They didn’t put her in the mood to get busy. Instead, they made her feel stupid and immature. She wanted it to happen on its own, without Owen orchestrating the whole thing.

  She remembered the first time they’d kissed. It had been after one of their failed attempts to get back into Helicon. They’d snuck out of their foster placement, and Nora knew they’d be in trouble when they got back. They were outside, in the darkness, and her throat was sore from some chant they’d been screaming over and over. Foreign words had gotten stuck in her mouth for too long. After hours, they’d given up.

  She’d been sitting on the ground, too tired to cry, thinking about how hopeless it all was. It was worse, because, back then, she’d still gotten so hopeful about every one of Owen’s schemes. He’d convinced her it would work. The sting of failure was too much. She’d felt like giving up, almost like dying.

  Owen had put his arm around her, and she’d laid her head on his shoulder.

  His voice had been exhausted. “I’m sorry. I thought it would work.”

  “You always think it will work.” She’d been bitter.

  “I am going to get us back there.” His grip had tightened on her shoulder, fierce. Determined.

  She’d sagged against him, wanting to suck his strength into her body.

  He’d turned to face her, moved her so that she was looking straight into his eyes. He’d said, “You have to believe me, Nora. I will do it. Don’t stop believing. Please.”

  But she hadn’t been able to see any way out. She’d shaken her head.

  And then he’d kissed her.

  Out of nowhere. Right when the situation had seemed so bleak that she didn’t think she could go on. From that horrid place, she’d felt the sweet pressure of Owen’s lips on hers. It had awakened something inside her, some tiny spark of hope. Her stomach had gone fluttery, feeling his arms wrap around her, feeling the warmth of his skin through his clothes burning against hers. The kiss had brought her back.

  When they did make love, she wanted it to be like that. She didn’t mean that she wanted to feel hopeless again. She never wanted to feel that way again. But she wanted it to simply come out of nowhere and engulf her. She wanted her body to slowly wake up in his arms, under his caresses. She wanted it to feel natural. And Owen kept pushing. He made it impossible.

  Even when they were making out in his tent, and his fingers were skimming over her body, making her gasp in pleasure, she felt pressure. She felt like he was doing it to try to make her have sex with him. She wished Owen would stop thinking about it and stop talking about it. If he let it go, it would probably happen.

  But he didn’t understand, and when she tried to explain this to him, she never got it all out before he interrupted her and twisted her words around so that she sounded like a complete idiot.

  The worst thing was that she knew she’d have to do it soon, because he was starting to get angry about her repeated refusals. And angry Owen made her feel shivery and frightened. If she wanted him to stay happy and okay, they were going to have to do it. Nora promised herself she’d let him do it soon. She would. But every night, when Owen started making his advances, she told herself that she didn’t want it to be that night. The future was better. The now wasn’t right.

  Owen was waiting for her when she got back to her tent. Damn it. She knew he was going to be upset with her. She steeled herself for his lecture about how concerned he’d been.

  But instead, Owen was apologetic. “Hey,” he said. “I wondered if you’d mind if we waited until a little later to hang out today? I was working on some stuff for the engineering enclave, and they asked if I could stay later. I said I’d check with you.”

  Huh. Owen didn’t want to hang out? That wasn’t normal. But Nora didn’t see a problem with it. She could eat dinner with Maddie and Sawyer for a change, and that sounded nice. “Sure,” she said. “Go ahead.”

  “Are you sure?” said Owen. “Because I know we usually spend the evenings together.”

  She gave him a hug and kiss. “It’s fine. Go have fun.”

  He looked relieved. “Cool. And you’ll be here later? I can come by when I’m done?”

  “Yep,” said Nora.

  And with that, Owen was gone. Nora felt free and happy. She had the evening to herself. She couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. She dove into her tent to play with Catling, quite pleased.

  A little while later, she heard Maddie’s chattering from outside her tent, and she bounded outside to meet her. Maddie and Sawyer were both outside. They were surprised to see her.

  “Where’s Owen?” asked Maddie.

  Nora grinned. “He’s busy. Won’t be back until later.”

  “You seem happy about that,” noted Sawyer.

  Nora suddenly realized that she did feel pretty glad about not being with Owen. That was strange, wasn’t it? She shrugged. “Well, I see him all the time. I’m excited about getting to hang out with you guys.” It wasn’t about Owen, after all. It was about her friends.

  The three went to have dinner at the main fire pit. They stayed for the council meeting, which was relatively tame. Techne was trying to get some muse energy allocated to creating some chemicals she and the science enclave wanted in order to conduct some experiments. Alexander got a little annoyed and demanded to know why the science enclave couldn’t ever do any science that a
ctually benefitted Helicon. He said that the community could use all kinds of scientific innovation, but that the science enclave never seemed to do anything practical. His objections were voted down, however, and the science enclave got what they wanted.

  They stayed for a little of the drum circle. Maddie and Nora danced outside the circle together, linking arms and swinging each other around while their feet pounded in time to rhythm of the drums. They found themselves exhausted pretty quickly, falling into a giggling heap on the ground. Sawyer hauled them to their feet, and they went back to the tweens and rebels enclave.

  As they passed under the arch to the enclave, they noticed that their fire pit had been lit, and that some of the older tweens were gathered around the fire. They were drinking something—probably procured from wine and spirits—out of earthen cups and talking animatedly.

  The older tweens never seemed to want to have much to do with any of the younger tweens, so the three of them attempted to slink past, heading for the tree house instead.

  But someone yelled out from across the fire pit, “Hey, Nora!” She turned to look. It was Agler. He waved at her, a big grin on his face. Then he gestured for her to come over. “Bring your friends.”

  Nora looked at Maddie, whose eyes were wide, and then at Sawyer, who shrugged. She headed over with Maddie and Sawyer flanking her. There was an empty bench next to him, and they all sat down there, feeling a little out of place.

  “You guys were at the council meeting, right?” asked Agler.

  They all nodded.

  “Well, we were talking about what Alexander said,” said Agler. “It reminded me of something I was talking to Nora about today, actually. And then you walked by.” He smiled.