The Helicon Muses Omnibus: Books 1-4

by V. J. Chambers

  “So then God does exist?”

  “If you’re an ontologist, then certainly,” said Themis, smiling. “What do you think of the theory, Nora?”

  She shrugged. “Well, it sort of makes sense. I mean, making up something that never existed seems like a pretty difficult thing to do. But all I wanted to know was if God had ever showed up in Helicon, the way Dionysus and the fairies did. Has he?”

  Themis chuckled. “Not to my knowledge. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist, does it?” He turned to Agler. “What do you think of the theory, Agler?”

  “I don’t know,” said Agler. “I think it’s a little problematic.”

  “How so?”

  Agler took a drink of coffee. “Well, it seems to me that the concept of god is really just a better, more powerful human. And I think people could think up things that didn’t exist if they used the basis of something that did exist. Like, if I told you to think of better tasting coffee than this, you could.”

  “But is that really all God is?” asked Nora. “A better human? I don’t think so.”

  “Maybe not now,” said Agler. “But at first, maybe. I mean, think of the earliest gods. They all acted like humans. They had wives and children and got jealous. But then, over time, people kept thinking up better gods. So by the time we get to the present, the concept of god has been embellished over and over, so that now there’s only one, instead of a bunch, and he created the whole universe by speaking, and he controls everything, and he’s above jealousy and pettiness.”

  “Quite an intriguing response,” said Themis.

  “Maybe the whole argument’s wrong anyway,” said Agler. “Because here in Helicon, we make things that never existed before all the time. We create. It’s what we do.”

  “Hold on,” said Nora. “You just made an argument that negated the existence of Dionysus. You said he was just an embellished human being that someone could have easily made up. But we know Dionysus exists. People didn’t make him up.”

  “How do we know that?” said Agler. “Just because he exists doesn’t mean someone didn’t make him.”

  “You’re saying that people created gods, not the other way around?” Nora looked at him sharply. “And not just created in their heads, but gave them actual flesh?”

  Agler took a deep breath. “Well, I’m not really saying anything. I don’t know. The next time you see Dionysus, ask him where he came from.”

  “Oh, I have,” spoke up Themis. “He told me he came from his mother, like the rest of us. In fact most of the Greek gods have at least one parent, and they all descend from Gaia, the earth mother.”

  Nora covered her face with her hands. “So you’re basically saying you don’t know. You don’t know whether or not there are other gods. You don’t know why the gods that come to Helicon exist. And this doesn’t bother anyone?”

  “Of course it’s bothersome,” said Themis. “We spend hours in the philosophy enclave talking it through and trying to figure it out. No one has yet, but I’m confident we might someday.”

  Nora stood up. “But this is Helicon. You’re muses. How can you not know? I mean, where did this place come from? Where did the muses come from?”

  “Good questions,” said Themis. “What do you think?”

  Nora groaned. “So everyone is just as clueless as the people in the mundane world?”

  “Listen, Nora,” said Themis, “the idea of an absolute answer to a question is a very simple idea. Frankly, most things do not have absolute answers. For instance, if we all tried to recount this conversation independently, we’d probably give very different accounts. Our perception filters everything. One man’s truth is another man’s lie.”

  Nora’s brain felt as if it had been stretching, reaching to grasp all the twists and turns of Themis’ logic. It wasn’t a familiar feeling to her, but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant either. Still, she felt as if she’d worked very, very hard and ended up nowhere. “Maybe,” she said. “I might have to think about that more.”

  “Please do,” said Themis.

  “I think that was enough for now, though,” she said.

  Themis laughed. “Do come back and see us, Nora. This has been quite delightful.”

  On the walk back to the tweens and rebels enclave, Sawyer spoke up. “You know, Nora, while I was listening, I remembered something. A story I heard when I was a kid in the story enclave. This really old muse told it to me. It was about the gods and Helicon, and how the gods used to come and go as they pleased here, but for some reason they stopped. I can’t remember why. That muse was probably old enough to remember if the gods really did come here.”

  “Even if they did,” said Agler, “it doesn’t tell us where the gods originated, does it?”

  “Is that what you wanted to know?” Sawyer asked Nora.

  She shrugged. “No. Well... I think I only wanted things to make sense. And now it’s become clear that nothing does.”

  Sawyer laughed.

  “But that’s why it’s awesome,” said Agler. “Because everything’s complex, not simple and black and white.”

  “I don’t know if that’s awesome or not,” said Nora. “Maybe it’s terrifying.”

  “We could go to the story enclave later if you wanted,” said Sawyer.

  Nora didn’t know if she really cared about the gods anymore or not. The whole thing was too big for her to really comprehend. Maybe no one could really figure it out because it got too complicated if you tried to think about it for too long. On the other hand, if she wasn’t thinking about that issue, she’d have to think about Owen again and what he’d done to her. She nodded. “Sure. Let’s see if Maddie wants to go too.”

  * * *

  Maddie remembered the story too. “Oh, I know that guy!” she said. “And that story was really cool. I think Phoebe was in it.” She was so excited, she insisted they go to the story enclave right away.

  Most of the muses in the story enclave were not up and about yet either, but they were able to find the head of the enclave, Angelia Frost. She knew exactly who they were talking about. “You mean old Ned Willow,” she said. She got a sad look in her eyes. “Ned was ancient. He started aging normally about ten years ago, so he was fading fast. Eventually, he left the enclave. He went out into the woods outside Helicon to die.”

  Nora was horrified by this, but Maddie explained that it was fairly typical for muses. Apparently, at some point, muses had lived for so long that they decided to die.

  And apparently Ned was the only muse who remembered the story. So the three went back to the tweens and rebels enclave.

  Nora noticed something strange when she walked under the arch. Her tent was open. She quickly checked the Catling tracker that she’d made with Coeus. She wore it around her wrist like a bracelet. Catling was still in the tent. “Why is my tent open?”

  “It was closed when we left, wasn’t it?” said Maddie.

  “Did Catling get loose?” asked Sawyer.

  Nora shook her head, approaching the tent. As she got closer, she could actually hear Catling inside the tent, squawking away. She peered inside. Owen was there. She felt her stomach turn over. “I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, her voice hoarse. She backed away from the tent.

  Maddie and Sawyer looked confused. They crowded close to see inside, but Owen was coming out.

  “We need to talk,” said Owen.

  “No,” she said. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

  “Please,” he said. “Come on a walk with me.”

  Nora laughed bitterly. “You think I’m going to be alone with you? I don’t think so.”

  Maddie put a hand on Nora’s arm. “What happened?”

  Owen glared at Maddie. “It’s between Nora and me.”

  “And the little green fairy you were screwing,” Nora said.

  “What?” said Sawyer.

  Owen held out his hand to Nora. “Please come with me. Let me explain.”

  “There’s nothing to exp
lain,” said Nora. “Nothing at all. You don’t get to control me anymore, Owen. You can’t use your little mind tricks on me in Helicon, apparently, and I’m not letting you mess with my head anymore.”

  “Mess with your...” Owen furrowed his brow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Sure you do,” said Nora. “I saw you do it tons of times in the mundane world. When people didn’t do what you wanted them to do, you’d have them look into your eyes, and suddenly they’d be putty in your hands. It used to work on me too, didn’t it?”

  Owen’s jaw twitched. “Just come with me.”

  “No,” said Nora. “Because if I do, you’ll pull whatever crap you always pull that makes me feel like everything I do is wrong, and that I should feel sorry for you or whatever. But you’re just trying to control me. You don’t care about me. You only want to use me. So go away.”

  Sawyer smiled. “You tell him, Nora,” he said softly.

  Owen’s nostrils flared. “You sound crazy, you know that? I can’t control you.”

  “Not anymore you can’t,” said Nora. “Leave.”

  Sawyer stepped in front of Owen. “I think she asked you to go.”

  Maddie stepped behind Sawyer, so that the two of them were in between Owen and Nora. “Yeah, I think you should leave.”

  Owen sucked in breath audibly. “Okay, sure. I’ll go. But you need me, Nora. You’re going to see how much you need me. You’re nothing without me.” He stalked off.

  They watched him go.

  Maddie grabbed Nora’s hands. “He cheated on you with a fairy?”

  “I’ve never liked that guy,” said Sawyer.

  Nora burst into tears.

  * * *

  Later, Nora sat in her tent with her friends, holding Catling in her lap and petting her. Catling had been very vocal ever since Owen had been in the tent, and the only way she’d be quiet was if Nora stroked her. Nora was exhausted from crying. She’d explained everything to them, and they told her she’d done the right thing. They told her that deep down, they’d always felt like something wasn’t right about Owen, but they didn’t want to make her angry by saying so.

  “He never let you see us,” said Maddie. “He was selfish. And it seemed like he was always mad at you.”

  “You’re going to be way better off without him,” said Sawyer.

  Nora nodded, sniffling. She knew they were right. “He was all I had for so long. I guess I didn’t know that things could be any better. I thought the way he treated me was normal.”

  “He was horrible to you,” said Maddie, giving her a hug.

  Nora pulled back. “He wasn’t always horrible.”

  “Come on, Nora,” said Sawyer, “you’ve got to stop defending him.”

  “I don’t mean to defend him exactly,” said Nora. “I’m only saying that he did take care of me, keep me safe when we were kids. And he brought me to Helicon. I am important to him. You said it once, Maddie. He’s obsessed with me.”

  The three were quiet for a moment.

  “That’s going to mean he’s going to get even worse now that you aren’t together, isn’t it?” said Sawyer.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The next weeks passed for Nora somehow both quickly and slowly. It was quick because time passed, and she hadn’t accomplished anything, but slow because she couldn’t bring herself to do anything. Sometimes it seemed that the hours crawled by. Maddie and Sawyer tried to convince Nora to visit the visual art enclave again or the music enclave, since she’d seemed to enjoy both. But Nora didn’t feel up to it, so she made excuses. She spent her days lying in her tent, cuddling Catling, or going for aimless walks in the woods and fields that surrounded Helicon. Once and a while, she went to see Mack’s chimeras, which she thought would put her in a good mood. Sometimes, they did. Temporarily, anyway. But the sadness always descended again, like a dark cloud.

  Nora didn’t know how to explain what was wrong, because it felt like everything was wrong. She’d spent her whole life dreaming of Helicon. Now she was here. But getting here had ruined her relationship with Owen.

  No. That wasn’t it. Her relationship with Owen was a sham. He had never cared about her the way she thought he had. She’d thought he was a good person. She’d relied on him and loved him. When they’d been children, he’d filled the roles of her parent, her brother, and her friend. When they’d grown older, she’d become romantically attached to him. Losing Owen was like losing her entire history. Losing Owen made her feel empty and hollow. She loved him.

  But she also was so angry at him that it hurt. He’d betrayed her by sleeping with that fairy. And he’d manipulated her the entire time they’d been together. She’d been his puppet for eleven years, and she’d never even known. She wanted to strangle him. She wanted him to disappear from the face of the earth.

  But she still found herself missing him, or thinking of things they used to do together and feeling a deep chasm of loss.

  Sawyer said she should try to distract herself. He said the pain would be there later if she needed to keep feeling it. He said she needed to try to create again.

  Nora couldn’t. She couldn’t get through to him how much there was nothing inside her. She didn’t feel inspired. She felt like a shell of a girl. It was all she could handle to get up in the morning and get moving. Sometimes, she didn’t even do that.

  Because of the strange way time was passing, Nora was both surprised to discover it was already time for the Summer Solstice and also confused that it had taken so long. The rest of Helicon was buzzing with preparations for the festival, but Nora ignored them. No matter what Maddie and Sawyer did to try to get her excited about it, she couldn’t muster the emotion. In fact, she had no desire to even attend the Solstice celebration.

  One morning at breakfast, Doreen came by. She wanted to know if Maddie would be available to watch the babies and toddlers during the Solstice.

  Maddie rolled her eyes and was beginning to deliver a cutting remark, when Nora spoke up.

  “I’ll do it,” said Nora. She didn’t have any desire to participate in a celebration. Watching kids seemed fun.

  “You will?” said Doreen. “Oh, well, that’s wonderful. The enclave will be so pleased. Maybe you can go by sometime today to see if they have any special instructions for you.”

  “Sure,” said Nora. “I’ll go after breakfast.”

  “Nora is such a treasure,” said Doreen. “Look how willingly she’s giving up her Solstice. Maddie, you should take note of that.”

  Ugh. Doreen was always finding ways to insult Maddie. “No,” said Nora. “It’s not like that, really. I’m actually just not interested in the Solstice, and—”

  Doreen laughed. “Not interested in the Solstice? Don’t be silly, Nora. You don’t have to be so modest. You’re a sweet girl, and I think you’re an excellent example for my Maddie. She—”

  “I’ll help her out,” said Maddie, shooting daggers at her mother with her gaze.

  “Maddie, you don’t have to do that,” said Nora.

  “Oh, what the heck,” said Sawyer. “I’ll help too.”

  “You three are wonderful!” exclaimed Doreen.

  Nora tried to convince her friends it wasn’t necessary that they give up their Solstice too. Maddie was still fuming over her mother. Sawyer said he actually thought it was fun. The kids were fun to play with, and he thought they’d enjoy themselves playing just as much as they would dancing around the fire pit.

  After breakfast, they trooped over to the babies and toddlers enclave as Doreen had suggested. The enclave looked a good bit like other enclaves from the outskirts. There were tents and a fire pit. However, the enclave also jutted up against the kiddie playground, which housed the epic castle/tree house that Maddie had once described to her. It sprawled over an area the size of a football field, connecting at least five trees. There were turrets and rope bridges. There were slides of various lengths and curvature. There were swings dangling from tree branches. It w
as the most wonderful playground that Nora had ever seen.

  Inside the enclave, one or two little kids trotted around the fire pit. A grown woman was sitting and watching them while sewing something by hand. She held it in her lap. When she saw them approach, she said, “Is there something I can do to help the three of you?”

  “We’re here because Doreen Salt told us you were looking for volunteers to watch children during the Solstice,” said Nora.

  “And you’re volunteering?” said the woman.

  Nora nodded.

  “That’s great.” The woman stood up. “Is that Nora Sparrow all grown up?” She cupped Nora’s chin with one hand.

  “Um, yeah, I’m Nora.”

  “I used to hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep every night,” said the woman. “You wouldn’t remember that, I don’t suppose, though. I’m Jolie.”

  “You did?” Nora smiled, feeling an odd rush of emotion. Someone who knew her when she was a baby? Someone who remembered her childhood who wasn’t Owen? That seemed amazing.

  “I sure did,” said Jolie. She gestured at the benches around the fire pit. “Sit down, all three of you.” They did. “Of course, I remember Sawyer as well. And I didn’t care for Maddie as a baby, but I remember how you helped us out on Valentine’s Day, so I couldn’t be more delighted.”

  Nora fidgeted. She wanted to ask questions, but she wasn’t sure quite how to put them. “What was I like as a baby?”

  Jolie got a dreamy look in her eyes. “Oh, I remember what a sweet little thing you were. You never cried. You’d just spend all your time staring around with those big eyes of yours. And you had the most adorable tuft of orangey-red hair on your head.”

  Nora fiddled with her hair, embarrassed. She hadn’t realized how much she craved this.

  “Then, of course, when Owen arrived here, he snatched you up immediately,” said Jolie.

  Nora’s happiness dropped off. Owen. He was part of everything, wasn’t he? She stared at the ground.