“I didn’t mean right now,” said Daryl. “I meant later on.”
Maddie leaned close to him. “I thought the two of us could hang out by ourselves later on.”
Daryl kissed Maddie on the nose. “We hang by ourselves all the time. It’s Halloween. We should do something new and exciting.”
Maddie’s face fell.
Nora and Sawyer exchanged a look.
“Uh, maybe you should hang out with Maddie,” said Sawyer. “You never know what kind of new and exciting things might happen.”
Nora glared at him.
“What?” he said.
“That costume is even making you act like a guy.”
“Is that bad?”
But by this time they had gotten very close to the music. The amplification made it so loud that it was difficult to talk. After attempting a few shouted conversations, Maddie drained her drink and dragged Nora up to the front of the stage so that they could dance.
The music was loud and raucous. Nora threw herself into it, jumping up and down, whipping her head around. (Her hat kept falling off, so she had to set it down someplace.) It was a lot of fun, but it was exhausting. It wasn’t long before she dragged herself out of the fray, sweaty and out of breath.
Sawyer followed her. He’d been dancing too, but he didn’t seem nearly as tired out as she was. “Should we go get another drink?”
Nora was definitely thirsty. “Maybe. But I don’t want to get as drunk as I did at May Day. We should go easy, huh?”
Sawyer bobbed his head in assent. He pointed. “Look, they’ve got a drink stand set up over there. We don’t even have to walk all the way back to the wine and spirits enclave. I hope they have cider. That green thing was good, but alcoholic cider is my favorite thing about Halloween.”
Nora grinned. They did have cider, and after Nora tried it, she knew that Sawyer was right. It was awesome. But it also tasted so good that she wasn’t sure she would be able to stop drinking it. If being drunk at May Day was what had really caused her to be afraid and see Owen’s eyes, she didn’t want to do that again.
“So, I guess you’re excited about seeing Agler tonight,” said Sawyer.
“I don’t know if excited is exactly the word I would use,” said Nora. “I’m nervous. Aren’t you nervous about seeing Jack?”
“Maybe a little,” he said. “When are they coming back, anyway?”
“I didn’t go to the council meeting where they talked about it. But Maddie did. She said it will be later on. The music is going to stop and everything. There’ll be an announcement.”
Sawyer nodded. He toyed with his drink as if he didn’t know what to say.
Nora felt oddly at a loss for words as well. Abruptly, she said, “Why did you decide to wear that costume?”
Sawyer didn’t look at her. “It’s just a joke.”
“You seem so different.”
“You don’t like it?”
Nora took a drink of her cider. “No, it’s a great costume. I think it’s awesome.”
“But you don’t think I should dress like a guy more often?”
Nora was taken aback by the question. “Would you want to do that? I thought you liked wearing skirts.” She looked deep into his eyes. “Are you letting the stuff that people say about you get under your skin? Because you shouldn’t. You should be exactly who you are. Don’t change for anyone.”
“Maybe I have no idea who I am.”
She hugged him. “You know what? No one really does.”
He was still hugging her. “I think I want to say something to you, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.” He pulled back.
She cocked her head. “You can say anything to me. You know that.”
He looked down at his cider. “I’m not sure about this. I told myself not to, actually.”
Now Nora was very curious. “What is it?”
Sawyer opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. “I-it’s... it’s hard to say.”
“Does it have something to do with your costume?” After all, that was what they had been talking about before he brought it up. Although Nora couldn’t figure out what about his costume would be so hard to talk about.
“Sort of. Not really, but sort of.”
She had another idea. “Does it have something to do with Jack? Did you think that Jack would like you better if you looked like this?”
“No. I wasn’t thinking about Jack. I mean, my relationship with Jack never seemed to work right. And that’s sort of part of it. But that’s not all of it. I think that’s maybe only a really small part of it. I sometimes wonder if I dated Jack in the first place just so that I could convince myself that I was actually...”
Wait. Nora remembered having a conversation with Sawyer before they found out that Maddie was missing. It had been right after Coeus had told them all about the bisexual soldiers. Sawyer had said something about not being sure if he was gay or not. She chewed on her lip. “Did you dress up like a guy because you think you might like girls?”
Sawyer let out a noisy breath. “Sort of.”
She wasn’t sure what to say. “Well, I mean, do you? Like girls?”
His face had gone white. He guzzled his cider and didn’t say anything.
She tried to picture Sawyer with a girlfriend. He was attractive. Even when he was wearing skirts, he had this lithe grace that defied gender. And she guessed that he would be easy to talk to. She couldn’t imagine him making a girl feel uncomfortable. He would probably be a good boyfriend. But it did seem sort of strange to her. Sawyer had never seemed like a girl to her, not exactly. But he definitely never seemed like a guy either. If he had a girlfriend, would that make him seem like a guy? “I want to help. But I think you’re the only person who knows.”
“You’re right.”
“I don’t think you should have to change everything about yourself, though. I don’t think you should have to start dressing differently just because you’re questioning your sexual orientation.”
“It’s only a costume.” He squared his shoulders, and she was struck again by how oddly masculine he looked. “Let’s not talk about this anymore.”
“No. Sawyer, you don’t have to be embarrassed.”
She would have gone on, but a voice boomed out from the microphone on the stage. “We’ve got a break in the music right now, folks. If you want to mosey on up to the main fire pit, we’ll be welcoming back our muses who did an exchange with the fairies. And we’ll be saying goodbye to the fairies that have been with us for the past six months.”
Sawyer smiled at her, but his smile seemed a little strained. “We should get up there. You want to see Agler, right?”
“If you want to keep talking—”
“I don’t.”
Had she said something? She hadn’t meant to make him close off. “No matter how you dress or who you fall in love with, you know I’ll always be your best friend. You do know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I know that.” But for some reason, he didn’t sound very comforted.
Maddie and Daryl caught up with them at this point.
“I wondered where you guys got off to,” said Daryl. “Given any more thought to that trip to the mundane world?”
“Sounds like a blast,” said Sawyer.
Maddie shot him a hurt look. Sawyer didn’t seem to notice. Nora was very confused. So Sawyer was upset about stuff. But it wasn’t like him not to think about Maddie’s feelings. She put an arm around Maddie. “I won’t let him go. You guys were supposed to have a special night together.” She said it low enough that Daryl couldn’t hear.
But Maddie shook her head. “I’ve dropped hints the size of an anvil. He’s more interested in the mundane world than he is in me. I don’t even care anymore. Let’s get another drink on our way up to the main fire pit.” Maddie headed in the direction of the drink stand.
Nora followed her. “You know, considering you’ve never really drunk before, maybe you should take it slow.”
/> But if Maddie heard her, she didn’t acknowledge it.
* * *
Phoebe was dressed like a peacock. She wore a cloak made of brightly colored feathers. Most of her snow white hair was slicked down against her head, but she’d twisted up a spray of it at the back of her head. Her face makeup was dramatic. As usual, she looked regal and beautiful. She stood next to the fire with the two fairies from the exchange. Nora realized that she hadn’t seen much of them, even though they had been around for six months. She remembered Coeus saying that they had spent a lot of time in the music enclave. They had probably been at the drum circles each evening as well. Since Nora didn’t come to council meetings much anymore, she generally missed the drum circles. She wondered if it was a missed opportunity. Perhaps she could have learned interesting things from the fairies.
When everyone was assembled, Phoebe began to speak. “This is a momentous occasion for Helicon. We have had the pleasure of hosting two fairies with us for the past six months, and they have had two of our own muses. Now, in just a few minutes, they will all return home.
“We have learned much from the fairies. They have assisted us in making a device that will allow muses to travel to different dimensions. It is in trials now and should be fully functional soon. They have also dazzled us with their music and singing, and have added depth and richness to our culture. We in Helicon are the inspirers, but the fairies have inspired us, and for that, we thank them.”
Everyone applauded, and the fairies made little bows.
One of them began to speak. His voice was like music. “We have so enjoyed our stay with the muses. We are sad to be saying goodbye. Thank you for welcoming us.”
“But the time that we must leave is nigh,” said the other.
The fairies clasped hands and closed their eyes. They began to glow brightly, like fireflies. They twinkled brighter and brighter, until it was too hard to look at them.
Nora turned away, and when she looked back, Agler and Jack stood in the place where the fairies had stood. They both were smiling. They had on fairy clothing—tunics made of leaf-like fabric—and they seemed to have a residual glow. Nora didn’t know if it was leftover from being in the world of the fairies for so long or if it was because they had just been encompassed in the transfer glow. There was something else about them though. They looked older somehow. It wasn’t because they seemed to have physically aged. There was simply an air of maturity about them. Something wise, almost. Nora couldn’t put her finger on it.
One thing was for sure. She felt too awed to even think about approaching Agler.
Phoebe led the applause, as the gathered muses clapped for them. “I’m sure our travelers will have many things to tell us and teach us once they have settled in. For now, however, we should allow them to relax and enjoy themselves at our Halloween celebration.”
More applause.
After that, some muses went up to greet Agler and Jack, despite Phoebe’s admonishment to let them relax. They were practically mobbed. The rest of the muses began to disperse. Within ten minutes or so, the music started back up again.
“So,” Maddie prompted, “are you going to go talk to him?”
“I don’t think so,” said Nora. “He looked so much different.”
“I thought he looked the same,” said Maddie.
“We should say hi,” said Daryl. “We all used to eat breakfast together. They’re our friends.”
“They went to a completely different dimension to get away from us,” said Sawyer. “I’m not sure if we’re friends anymore.”
“That was ages ago,” said Maddie. “Daryl and I should talk to them anyway. We don’t have any weird relationship baggage. If they ask about you, that will be a good sign.”
Nora chewed on her lip. She guessed that was okay. “What if he thinks I’m chicken for not going to see him?”
“He probably won’t even notice,” said Maddie. “There are too many people up there for him to think straight. We’ll be right back.” But as Nora watched Maddie and Daryl go, she thought that maybe it wasn’t so good if he didn’t notice. Had he been thinking about her too?
She almost wanted to run away and hide, but she was also curious. So she waited, twisting her hands together. Sawyer stood with her. He didn’t say anything. It seemed like they stood there for several eternities.
When Maddie and Daryl came back, she had a fresh drink, and she was pretty giggly.
“Did he say anything about me?” Nora asked.
“Not a word,” said Maddie. “But there were a lot of people up there. He was distracted. We barely got to say anything to him before someone else started talking to him.”
Nora’s heart sank. “I’ll have to wait. Until the excitement dies down. Maybe in a couple of days...”
“Totally,” said Maddie.
“Let’s go to the haunted house,” said Sawyer.
“Only if you promise that afterwards we can go to the mundane world,” said Daryl.
Maddie put her hands on her hips. “What if I told you I’d had enough of traveling to other dimensions for one year? What if I didn’t want to go anywhere?”
Daryl put his arm around her. “You don’t have to come. Let’s get you another drink on the way to the haunted house.”
“Another one?” said Nora. “She just started drinking that one.”
“I can finish it quick,” giggled Maddie.
“You shouldn’t let her get really drunk,” said Nora.
“Let her have fun if she wants,” said Sawyer.
Nora fell silent. But she really didn’t think it was a good idea for Maddie to get trashed. Maybe she was just in a bad mood considering that things hadn’t worked out the way she wanted them to with Agler. Not that she’d really had any idea how they’d work out. She’d thought it would be different. She’d thought they could go off alone. Really talk things out. She’d hoped that he would want to see her, that she would be the first person he sought out when he returned.
She supposed that might have made it tougher for her to have fun in the haunted house.
When they got to the architecture enclave, Nora was expecting to see an actual house, but was instead greeted by a sprawling mass of tattered, striped canvas. Distorted, tinkling music was being broadcast from speakers all around it.
“Where’s the haunted house?” she said.
“They don’t always take it literally,” Sawyer explained.
“Yeah, I think it’s a haunted circus tent this year,” said Daryl.
Maddie squealed. “Ooh, scary clowns!”
They traveled through the circus tent and lots of creepy clowns jumped out at them or chased them on rickety tricycles. Nora was genuinely freaked out a few times, and she jumped more than once. Overall, it was a really cool haunted house—er, circus tent.
But the only person among them who really seemed to be having fun was Maddie, who giggled and screamed the whole way through.
When they got out of the haunted circus tent, Maddie was stumbling a little bit. “That was awesome. Didn’t you think it was awesome, Daryl?”
“Absolutely. You know what I think would be more awesome? Getting another drink.”
Maddie’s eyes lit up. “Ooh. I definitely want another drink. Another one of those smoky kinds. Those were fun.”
Daryl nodded, grinning.
Nora was beginning to get the impression that Daryl was trying to get Maddie drunk. Maybe she was way off base. Maybe everyone was just having fun, and she was too disappointed about the whole Agler thing to see things clearly. Still, she felt like she needed to speak up. “I think Maddie’s had enough.” She turned to Maddie. “You’re going to have a heck of a headache in the morning.”
“Oh, who cares about the morning?” Maddie stuck out her tongue at Nora. “You get drunk all the time. And I never say anything to you about it, no matter how ridiculous you act. You don’t have to protect me, you know. I’m not a little kid.”
Maddie thought that she act
ed ridiculous when she was drunk? Nora hadn’t realized that. Of course, seeing how ridiculous Maddie was acting right now, she guessed it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. And anyway, Maddie was drunk. She didn’t mean to say the things that she was saying.
“She’s just cutting loose,” said Daryl. “We’ll get another drink and then we’ll go to the mundane world.”
Maddie made a face. “I don’t want to go to the mundane world. I don’t know why you are so gung ho over it, anyway. You know what I wanted to do tonight? I wanted to have sex with you. But you’re too interested in the mundane world. So I guess you’re not getting any.”
Daryl’s mouth opened and hung there.
Maddie wasn’t done. “I don’t know what it is with you. Sometimes it seems like you really like me. But then other times, you seem completely distant. I don’t even know who you are.”
Daryl took Maddie by the arm and began leading her away. He shot Nora and Sawyer an apologetic look. “I think Maddie and I need to talk some stuff out. Catch up with you later?”
Nora and Sawyer watched them go.
“I guess you were right,” said Sawyer. “She really had too much to drink.” He shook his head. “I’ve never heard her sound so angry in my life.”
Nora felt sorry for Maddie. “I don’t think this is how she wanted the evening to go.”
“Probably not.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. “It doesn’t seem like the evening is going right for any of us. Daryl doesn’t get to go to the mundane world. You don’t get to make up with Agler. Maddie doesn’t get any.”
“And you? What did you want?”
“I’m fine. Everything is going great for me.”
Nora didn’t believe him. “Listen, Sawyer. About what we were talking about earlier.”
“We don’t need to talk about that. I should never have brought it up.”
“No, it’s important to you. I’m your friend. Who else can you talk to about this stuff if not your friends?”
But Sawyer wasn’t looking at her. He pointed over her shoulder. “Looks like your evening might start going right.”
Nora turned around. Agler was heading towards them. She gulped. Her stomach turned over. She looked back at Sawyer. “I don’t know what to say to him.”
The Helicon Muses Omnibus: Books 1-4 Page 54