The Secret Pond

by Gerri Hill

  “Watch, Mom!”

  She smiled and nodded as Lindsey and Jack shared the rope, swinging far out over the water before dropping. As was now the case nearly every time they played on the rope, both dogs jumped off the deck to join them. Jack laughed and grabbed Barney’s tail, letting him pull him to shore. Oh, the dogs were going to miss this too.

  “Why the frown?”

  Lindsey swam over, holding on to Hannah’s float.

  “Oh, I was just thinking how much I’m going to miss this. School starts next week so…”

  “So you think that means that playtime is over?”

  “Doesn’t it?”

  “Just because Jack won’t be here, that doesn’t mean you and I can’t come out. Unless you’d rather not.”

  Hannah touched the hand that was holding on to her float. “Do you want to? I thought maybe—”

  “Of course I want to. In another month, the water—especially in the pond—will probably be too cold to enjoy.” Lindsey smiled at her. “Besides, it’s not only Jack I enjoy spending time with.”

  “Thank you.” Hannah held her gaze. “The feeling is mutual.”

  Lindsey leaned closer. “Jack’s going to be so pissed though,” she said with a wink. “We might have to keep it a secret from him.”

  Hannah laughed. “I agree.”

  Jack jumped off the rope swing again, splashing them with water as he landed close by. Two dogs quickly followed him. Lindsey pushed Barney away before he could hit the float with his paws.

  “They’ve gotten so big, haven’t they? It’s hard to remember them being little puppies.”

  “I know. Max hardly fits on his little dog bed anymore.”

  “What are we having for dinner?” Jack asked as he, too, came over and hung on the other side of her float.

  “It’s my turn to cook,” Lindsey said. “You pretty much know what your options are with me.”

  “Hamburgers!”

  “Jack, we just had burgers,” Hannah said.

  “We’re having chicken on the grill,” Lindsey said. “I’ve already got it marinating.”

  “I like your chicken,” he said. “Are you going to put that gooey sauce on it again?”

  “I am.”

  “And can I have extra cheese on my baked potato?”

  “Don’t you always?”

  He grinned. “It’s gonna be a good dinner!”

  Hannah shook her head as he swam off. “You spoil him too much.”

  “Well, he’s all I’ve got to spoil. Other than you, of course.”

  Their eyes met and Hannah smiled. “Do you spoil me?” she asked unnecessarily.

  “‘Oh, Lindsey…a steak sure does sound good for dinner, doesn’t it?’” Lindsey mimicked.

  Hannah laughed. “Very funny. I was simply making a suggestion the other night when you didn’t know what to cook.”

  “Uh-huh. And what was your excuse the time before that?”

  “So I like steak,” she conceded. “And when you do that rosemary and garlic marinade…oh, that’s so good. The best. Ever.” She smiled sweetly at her. “In fact, Saturday would be a good night for steak. I’ll bring the wine.”

  “Okay. I guess that sounds like a plan.” She paused. “On one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You make the triple-cheese casserole thing on Sunday.”

  Hannah laughed. “Now who’s spoiled?”

  * * *

  Hannah stood beside her, watching as she flipped the chicken pieces over and brushed them with sauce.

  “I have to agree with Jack. I like your chicken.”

  “Thank you.”

  “What do you put in the sauce?”

  Lindsey shook her head. “Nope. It’s a secret sauce. Sorry.”

  “My guess is, there is no recipe and you just made it up.”

  She laughed. “You’d be wrong. It’s my grandmother’s recipe.”

  “She shared it with you?”

  “No. But I found the drawer where she kept her recipes. Mostly scribbled on notepads and whatever she could find. Nothing organized at all,” she said as she closed the lid on the grill. “That’s on my list to do. A winter project.”

  Hannah handed her the wineglass and Lindsey took a sip. As had become their custom when she grilled outside, they’d drink a glass or two of a lighter wine—usually a chardonnay, Hannah’s favorite—before dinner and open a different bottle for the meal.

  “When you talk about them now, you’re not quite as…I don’t know, sad. Emotional.”

  Lindsey nodded. “It’s not quite as raw anymore, I guess.” She shrugged. “Time does that, I suppose. The shock has subsided. The guilt has subsided. The—”

  “Why guilt?”

  “I’m still here.”

  “Why should you feel guilty for that?”

  Lindsey met her eyes, seeing a gentleness there that made her feel…warm, safe. “I should be dead, like them,” she said simply. “I was supposed to be on the plane too.”

  Hannah gasped. “Oh, my God. I had no idea.”

  “I had a deadline. A project.” She swallowed. “Normally, they’d fly up to Dallas and pick me up and we’d go on to Colorado from there. This time, though, I…well, I couldn’t leave as scheduled. I’d planned to get a flight the next day or two and join them.”

  “Oh, honey,” Hannah whispered.

  Lindsey didn’t resist as Hannah pulled her into an embrace. She heard the murmured words “I’m so sorry,” but they didn’t really register. Hannah was too close—far too close—and Lindsey closed her eyes, relishing the contact as their bodies touched. Whenever Hannah hugged her—which was often—she felt such peace settle around her she never found the strength to pull away, to resist. She knew it wasn’t healthy, this…this attraction she had to Hannah. She knew it. Nothing would—could—ever come of it. And if she wasn’t careful, she was going to end up over her head. She was going to end up with a damn broken heart and a lost friendship.

  But like always, she let Hannah end the hug. Only this time, it was different. When Hannah pulled away, her lips grazed her cheek so softly, Lindsey thought she’d surely imagined it.

  “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

  “I…I don’t know. I guess I thought you knew.”

  “Did you tell Jack?”

  Lindsey nodded. “Yes.” That got her pulled into another tight hug.

  “I can’t even begin to imagine how you must have felt.”

  “Fate…it’s a funny thing, isn’t it?”

  Hannah pulled away again but kept her hand on Lindsey’s shoulder. “Fate is the reason we met. The only reason. That’s kinda scary to think about, isn’t it?”

  “What? Because of death, we were destined to meet?”

  Hannah smiled. “Yes, that’s scary too. But I meant scary to think about not ever having met you.”

  “I have to agree,” she said seriously. “This summer…well, you and Jack have become…well…”

  “Family,” Hannah said simply. “And it goes both ways, Lindsey.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  “Mom…quit worrying.”

  “I should have taken Margie’s advice and sent you to church camp this summer.”

  He rolled his eyes at her.

  “It’s the truth,” she said as she stopped at the end of Dennis and Margie’s long driveway. The school bus would pick Jack up there. “At least you would have met some of your classmates then. Now…you won’t know a soul.” She shook her head. “It’s my fault. I should have—”

  “Mom, I had the best summer ever.”

  “Did you?” She smiled at him and tousled his hair. “It was pretty awesome, wasn’t it?”

  “Lindsey says I swim like a fish.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “She says I should take lessons. Real lessons,” he clarified.

  “Oh?”

  “Like maybe someday be in competitions and stuff.”

  “She thin
ks you’re that good, huh?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “That would mean moving back to San Antonio,” she said. “I doubt, around here, we’d find anyplace that offered lessons like that.”

  “Oh.” His face fell and the smile disappeared. “I don’t think I want to move.”

  “No? You might hate school here.”

  “But Lindsey’s here.”

  “Yes, she is. For now. She may decide to go back to Dallas.”

  “But…”

  “Honey, don’t worry about it. She’s here now. We’re here now. That’s all that matters.” She should have never planted that seed in his mind. Lindsey hadn’t mentioned going back to Dallas any more than Hannah had mentioned going back to San Antonio. Right now, it was a non-factor.

  “Okay.” Then, “What are you going to do today without me?”

  She smiled. “I’m going to miss you, of course.”

  He poked her arm playfully. “I heard you and Lindsey whispering. You’re going to do something fun today, aren’t you?”

  She laughed. “We may take the tubes out and float the river.”

  “No fair!”

  “Or we may go to the pond and have a lazy day there.”

  “Mom, no,” he groaned. Then his eyes lit up. “Why don’t you homeschool me? You’re a teacher.”

  “Homeschool you? Homeschool is still school. It doesn’t mean you can sneak off with Lindsey anytime you want. Besides, you need the interaction with kids your own age. You’ve had enough adult time this summer.”

  “I guess.”

  “I did think about it, though,” she admitted.

  “You did?”

  “Yes. At first. But it’s just you and me. I didn’t want you to be that isolated.”

  “You and me and Lindsey,” he corrected.

  She smiled. He never failed to include Lindsey. She understood the depth of their bond now, but she sometimes thought it went deeper than even she imagined. If Lindsey went back to Dallas or they moved back to San Antonio, she wondered how Jack would handle that. Would it be another loss in his young life that he’d have to overcome?

  “There’s the bus!” he said excitedly.

  “Okay. I guess it’s time.” She reached over to kiss him and he jerked away.

  “Mom! Somebody might see.”

  She laughed. “I’m sorry. Whatever was I thinking?”

  He stood outside and looked back in. “So…you’ll pick me up right here?”

  “Right here.”

  “Okay.”

  “Have a good day, honey.”

  He turned back and pointed his finger at her. “Don’t have too much fun without me today.”

  She laughed. “Go on. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

  Her smile faded as soon as the bus pulled away. She should have taken him to school herself. She should have gone in and met his teachers. Then she shook her head. He would have never allowed that. No, he would be fine. She’d pick him up this afternoon and he would talk her ear off and tell her everything that he did. Then he would demand to know what she and Lindsey had done without him.

  “And then we get to have dinner with Margie and Dennis,” she murmured, already dreading it. But Margie had insisted. It was Jack’s first day and they wanted to hear all about it. Hannah couldn’t say no. They’d hardly spent any time with Margie and Dennis as it was, something Margie never failed to mention.

  She turned the car around, heading back down the narrow private road that would take her past Margie and Dennis’s house and to the back of the property where Lilly’s house was, at least a mile away. She saw Margie waving at her so she stopped, waiting as Margie opened the gate by their front fence and walked over.

  “How was he?”

  “He was fine,” she said. “Even though he complained, I think he was excited to start school.”

  “I just wish he knew somebody. He had all summer to make friends. You should have—”

  “Margie…it’s too late. He’s off to school.”

  “Yes,” she said with pursed lips. “I’m sure it’ll be an adjustment for you having him gone. What do you have planned today?”

  “I’m going to knock down one of the walls and enlarge my bedroom.” Margie gasped and brought a hand to her chest, causing Hannah to laugh. “Kidding, of course.” She saw no need to tell Margie that she and Barney would be having a play day with Lindsey and Max. “I pick Jack up at three forty-five. I’ll see you then.”

  “I was thinking, since the road is not that far, Jack could just walk here to the house every day and you could pick him up here. That way, you wouldn’t have to be on such a strict schedule and it would give Jack a little time with us.”

  She groaned silently. Jack would kill her. But she nodded. “That’s a good idea, Margie. We can tell him at dinner.” Oh, yeah…Jack would kill her.

  Margie’s face lit up. “Good. Well, see you later.”

  “Can I bring something for dinner?” she offered.

  “No, no. I’ve got it.”

  * * *

  “So did you cry when you dropped him off?”

  Hannah laughed. “I did not. Although he about had a fit when I tried to kiss him good-bye.”

  “Oh, no…you didn’t?”

  “I did. I won’t make that mistake again.” Hannah shifted in the seat. “So? What do you have planned for today?”

  “I’m thinking the pond,” she said. She grinned. “I’m thinking skinny-dipping at the pond.”

  Hannah’s eyes widened. “Skinny-dipping?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Skinny-dipping,” she said again slowly.

  “What?” Then she nodded. “Oh. It’s because I’m a lesbian. You think I’ll be ogling your body or something.”

  Hannah slapped her arm. “I thought no such thing. You’ve seen me practically naked anyway.”

  Lindsey laughed. “Naked and practically naked are two different things.”

  “If you think I’m afraid of you, you’re way wrong. I hesitated because, well, I’ve never been skinny-dipping before. So it’ll be fun. A new adventure.”

  “Good. And I promise I won’t look.”

  “I don’t care if you look. I’ll be looking at you,” Hannah teased with a laugh.

  Lindsey wasn’t sure what possessed her to suggest skinny-dipping. Well, the prospect of playing in the water naked—with Hannah—was appealing. It was also dangerous. She’d also expected Hannah to refuse. But no. They were going skinny-dipping. And Hannah didn’t care if she looked. Hannah would be looking. Good God, what had she been thinking?

  The dogs jumped off the back and were in the water as soon as she lowered the tailgate. Hannah walked over to the metal footlocker and opened it, taking out their two fanny floaters.

  “Or do you want a regular float?” Hannah asked with a grin. “You know, so you’ll be on top of the water.”

  Lindsey nearly blushed. “We don’t have to go skinny-dipping. We can just—”

  Hannah laughed. “Oh, so now you’re trying to back out on me, huh?”

  “I was only thinking of you. Since you’ve never done this before, I mean.”

  “No. I’m good. It’ll be fun.” Then she grinned. “But you go first.”

  Lindsey stared at her, then swallowed. “Okay. Turn around.”

  Hannah laughed. “You’re not serious.”

  Lindsey pointed her finger at Hannah. “You’re having too much fun with this.”

  “I just can’t believe you’re shy. I’ve seen you all summer in nothing but a bikini top.”

  “You’re right. And I’m not normally shy.”

  Hannah met her gaze. “Then don’t be shy with me.” Then she smiled. “This was your idea.”

  “One I’m regretting by the minute,” she mumbled as she pulled her T-shirt over her head and tossed it on the pier. With her back to Hannah, she removed her top and tossed it on the shirt. Then, with a deep breath, she slipped off her water shorts, leaving her standing ther
e in nothing but her sandals. She took a quick step to the edge and dove into the pond. The cool water was like silk on her skin, reminding her of why she loved skinny-dipping in the first place.

  When she came up, Hannah was blatantly staring at her, a grin on her face. “Very nice.” She laughed. “The dive, I mean.”

  Lindsey swam to where she could touch bottom, noting that the clear water did little to hide her nakedness. “Your turn, smarty-pants.”

  “You know, I used to be shy. In fact, the very first time I went to the river with you and Jack, I was nervous about taking my top off.”

  “You were in a black bikini, top and bottom,” she said with a smile. “Not that I was looking or anything.”

  “Uh-huh. Anyway, I was pasty white and you were young and tan and I was embarrassed.”

  “And now?”

  “And now I’m comfortable around you and I have a very nice tan.”

  Her bikini top fell to the deck and Lindsey stood there, staring, forgetting to breathe. True to her word, Hannah wasn’t shy as her shorts lowered. Lindsey finally averted her eyes, feeling like a gawking teenager. Hannah stood there—like a goddess—then dove into the water, surfacing a little ways away from Lindsey.

  “Oh, God…that feels great!”

  “Yeah, it does.”

  She went over to where Hannah had tossed their floats and shoved one toward Hannah. She got into her own, then paddled out into deeper water, out into the sun.

  “You’d said one time that Jack and I were the only ones to come out here, other than your family. Was that true?”

  Lindsey nodded. “Yep. Ever since we were kids, we were told that this place was a secret. We couldn’t tell anybody about it. Even when we were in high school and college and we had friends out, we’d always go to the river. We never said a word about the pond.”

  “Why?”

  “My grandfather wanted it to be a special place. A place just for the family. And it was. We didn’t come here that often. We usually played in the river. So on those occasions that he said we were going to spend the afternoon at the pond, it became special.”