Desire

by P. T. Michelle

  He smiles. “That was a great gift you gave Lainey. Apparently you and I had the same goal in mind this Christmas—doing what we can to protect the people in our lives.”

  I gesture to the boxes. “But that’s too much. The money you spent on these gifts could’ve gone toward the school trip to London.”

  He hands me the bag and shakes his head. “This is more important. I want you to give these gifts to your family as if they’re from you.”

  “But…why?” I try to hand him the bag back, but he just shakes his head.

  “If they come from you, your family will be more likely to wear them all the time.”

  I press my lips together, knowing he’s right. Gratitude tightens my chest and my fingers curl around the bag’s handles. “I struggled with what I should get my dad, but finally settled on a wallet with a metal money clip on it. The symbol is underneath the clip.”

  “Sneaky.” Ethan looks proud. “You can give him that present tomorrow. Tonight you’re giving him a watch. The symbol is on the back.”

  Smiling, I lean close and kiss his jaw. “Thank you.”

  “Nara.” Mom steps into the doorway of my room, her hand on the top button of the tailored jacket she’s wearing. “This jacket’s bothering me, so I’m changing. Can you go down and entertain Corda? I might be a little bit.”

  “Okay, Mom. Did Aunt Sage say when they’re coming?”

  “She just said she’d be a little late. My guess is fifteen minutes.”

  After she walks away, I shake my head. “Did you notice she didn’t say ‘they’?”

  He slowly nods his agreement. “Come on, let’s put your presents in this bag and go hang with your Gran.”

  “That’s a big present,” Gran says from her seat on the couch while I slide David’s gift beside the ones from Ethan and me that are under the tree.

  “It’s from David,” I say and step back. “He dropped it off yesterday and asked me to hide it.” I tilt my chin toward the stairwell, then continue, “I’m going to tell Mom he dropped it off just now while she was upstairs.”

  Gran folds her hand in her lap. “Why?”

  I shrug. “Because it’ll make her feel better.”

  “She’s fine.” Gran snorts and waves her hand.

  “No, she’s not. That’s the third time she has changed clothes that I know of,” I say, pursing my lips.

  Gran starts to say something when the doorbell rings. Mom calls from upstairs, “I’ll be right down, Inara.”

  Gran clasps her hands in front of her chest, her green eyes sparkling. “Let the entertainment begin.”

  Ethan lets out a surprised laugh, and I just shake my head and give him a small smile. “Welcome to my slightly off-kilter family.”

  Once I pull open the door and greet my aunt and father, Houdini instantly presses his big head to my dad’s thigh.

  “Hey boy!” he says, patting his head, then scratching his ear.

  Gran nudges Houdini out of the way and steps into place by my side, her presence somehow balancing the chaotic emotions flowing through me.

  “Hello again, Sage dear.” Before my aunt can even respond, Gran looks at my dad and continues in the same light tone, “Well, that was a heck of a trip you took, Jonathan. I hope you brought exceptional presents to make up for your extended party-of-one vacation.”

  When Ethan coughs behind me, I know he’s reacting to Gran’s forthright dig, but I keep my focus on my dad, whose smile looks frozen on his face.

  “It’s good to see your sense of humor is still sharp and on-point as always, Corda,” he says in an even tone.

  “Everything else might be failing like an old clunker ready for the junkyard, but,” Gran taps her temple. “This engine’s still roaring, young man. Don’t you forget it.”

  My father inclines his head in acknowledgement. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

  “Come in,” I say, taking the shopping bag from my aunt’s hand. “You can put your boots on the rubber mat by the door.”

  Before they step inside, Gran points above their heads. “Pay attention to the mistletoe, you two.”

  Aunt Sage grins and kisses her brother on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Jonathan.”

  My father laughs, then steps inside, unraveling the scarf from his neck. “What’s that cooking? It smells good.”

  After Sage closes the door behind them, Mom says from her position halfway down the stairs, “Pot roast and vegetables. Merry Christmas and welcome. Inara, please take our guests’ coats so they can be comfortable.”

  I don’t miss the fact that Mom’s treating my father like a guest in his own home. Technically he is, but it still feels weird. I ignore the tightening of my dad’s jawline and paste on a smile as I wish my aunt a Merry Christmas.

  Once Aunt Sage hands me her coat, then steps forward to thank my mom for inviting them, I wait for my dad to take his off. While he shrugs out of it, he glances Ethan’s way and says in a brisk tone, “You must be Ethan.”

  I glance at my dad, confused for a second, then remember that my mom has no idea he’s already met Ethan.

  Ethan follows his cue and holds out his hand to shake my dad’s. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Collins.”

  Dad’s gaze locks on the cut on Ethan’s brow for a couple beats before he releases his hand and smiles at me. “Merry Christmas, Nari.”

  When he steps close like he’s going to hug me, I catch Mom pretending not to watch us from the kitchen and wave my hand for his coat. “Merry Christmas. I’ll take that, then you can check out the kitchen. We have warm spicy tea or eggnog if you’d like some.”

  Dad nods, then bends close when he hands me his coat and scarf, whispering in my ear, “Sage told me Ethan has horrible dreams all the time. Why am I not surprised to find out he’s estranged from his parents?”

  Of course he focuses on the negative. My fingers fold tight around his coat and I whisper back in a sharp tone, “And, on the surface, you look like a deadbeat, deserter father.”

  Dad jerks upright, frowning. As he mumbles a tight-lipped, “Touché,” Gran walks up behind me.

  “Ooh, is there rum in the eggnog? Jonathan, come and pour me a cup. These old hands aren’t as steady as they used to be.”

  Nodding to Gran, my father pats Houdini’s head once more, then follows her into the kitchen where Aunt Sage is already helping Mom set out the appetizers.

  While I hang my dad and my aunt’s coats, Ethan moves to my side and says in a low voice, “Your father doesn’t like me much, does he?”

  I’m so glad Ethan didn’t hear what he said. I hadn’t planned to say something so harsh to my dad, but hopefully he’ll get that things aren’t always as they seem, and he’ll ease off on his blanket judgment. Unfortunately, as much as I’d like to tell my father the truth about Ethan, doing so wouldn’t help my case at all. I’m pretty sure it would just make my dad even more protective. Draping my father’s scarf along the collar of his coat, I glance at Ethan over my shoulder. “My dad just doesn’t know you very well yet. Give him some time.”

  Ethan releases the bit of hair that had stuck to my lip gloss when I turned to look at him. Sliding his fingers slowly down the blonde strands, his deep blue gaze holds mine. “All I care about is what you think.”

  I look at his injured eyebrow and the barely noticeable bruising along his jaw. “I know you can’t help what finds you, but all I ask is that you don’t go looking for trouble.”

  His lips twitch. “I’ve got enough trouble on my hands without seeking it out.”

  My heart twinges slightly, but I nod and murmur, “Okay then, ready for an interesting dinner?”

  Ethan rests his hand on the small of my back and answers in a low tone, “Here’s hoping the mistletoe’s power extends beyond doorways. Then again, your Gran’s a force all on her own. I think we’ve got the bases covered.”

  His dry comment makes me smile. Though I’m never exactly sure where Gran’s going with half the things she says, she somehow ma
nages to dispense her own brand of wisdom along the way. Having Ethan here, too, with his warm, solid presence by my side makes me believe in the possibility that everything will work itself out.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Nara

  Then again, maybe things will never be right again, I think to myself after watching my father try several times during dinner to engage my mother. Honestly, he got more attention and admiration from Houdini, who did the rounds at the table but always ended up at my father’s side, resting his chin on his thigh.

  My mom spent the entire meal being the perfect hostess. She smiled when she should. Cracked a few jokes, and she even laughed at Aunt Sage’s funny stories about she and my dad as children. In essence, Mom radiated utter calm and holiday happiness.

  Gran was unusually quiet, watching their mannerly conversation like a ping-pong match. I missed her barbs and crazy sayings.

  Neither of my parents talked about the past. At all. It’s like they never had one and I was born out of thin air.

  Ethan must’ve felt my pain, because he uncurled my vice hold on my thigh under the table and laced our hands together instead. I ate the entire meal with my left hand, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t giving up the connection and support he offered for anything.

  Now that dinner’s over, I actually breathe a sigh of relief when Gran claps her hands and says, “Okay, dinner’s done. Let’s open presents.” Looking pointedly at Mom, Gran continues, “Take Jonathan and Sage into the living room, while the youngest and oldest clear off the table.”

  “I can’t let you do that,” Mom starts to say, then clamps her lips shut when Gran shoots her a pointed look.

  Chuckling softly, Mom gives the first genuine smile I’ve seen all night. “That’s the same look my mom used to give me.” She stands and gestures for my father and my aunt to do the same. “You heard Corda. Let’s give them space to clean up.”

  Ethan and I do most of the heavy lifting while Gran sneaks another cup of eggnog and sips on it each time she returns to the kitchen with a plate to scrape off. I snicker at Gran and roll my tight shoulders as some of the tension eases.

  We are just about to leave the kitchen and join the others in the living room, when I look up to see Houdini with an entire bunch of mistletoe in his mouth. “No, Houdini!” Ethan and I chase him around the island a couple of times before we trap him in the corner. He stares at us with big brown eyes full of mischief, like he’s enjoying the chase. “Let it go, Houdini,” I say as calmly as I can, even though I’m worried to death. Ugh, it must’ve fallen from the doorway to the garage. The leaves can be pretty toxic to animals too. Houdini twitches his ears, but doesn’t release the greenery. I’m afraid to jerk it out of his mouth. A smaller piece might break off that he can swallow.

  Ethan steps close and touches Houdini’s head, commanding gently, “Release it, boy. That’s not good for you.” And just like that, Houdini drops the entire bunch on the floor at Ethan’s feet.

  Grabbing up the mistletoe, I set it on the counter and exhale a sigh of relief. “That was close.”

  Ethan smiles and pats Houdini’s head. “Catastrophe avoided.”

  When we finally join the others in the living room, my aunt hands me a small box she pulls from the bag she brought with her. “Merry Christmas, Inara.”

  “Thank you, Aunt Sage.” Holding the gift from my aunt, I gather the ones Ethan had brought for my family and pass them all out at once, saying, “Since this is kind of a themed gift, I want you all to open yours at the same time first.”

  As I settle on the arm of the wingback chair Ethan’s sitting in, my family opens their gifts.

  “Very pretty, Inara. The detail is so intricate,” Mom says, holding up a nickel-sized silver locket necklace with the Corvus symbol engraved inside.

  “Here, let me help you put it on,” I say, stepping forward to clasp it around her neck. Once Mom’s is done, I step away to help Aunt Sage put hers on.

  Touching her charm, Aunt Sage stares at Mom’s matching one. “Thank you. It’s very unusual. I love the ravens. It’s a shame they’re hidden away in the locket.”

  I smile. “Ethan helped me pick the gifts out. Hiding them is what makes it a good luck charm. Wearing the locket will always keep you safe.”

  “Can you help me, dear?” Gran fumbles trying to put hers on. I catch the silver-dollar-sized Corvus broach before it reaches her lap. Gran’s ravens are hidden behind an intricate branches and leaves design. Pinning it to her red cardigan, I step back and smile. “It looks perfect on you, Gran.”

  She grins. “It’s lovely, Inara. Clara is going to be so jealous.”

  “Thank you, Nari,” my father says, holding up his new watch to inspect the symbol on the back.

  When my father’s gaze zeros on Ethan’s back while Ethan leans over to help stuff some wrapping paper in a trash bag, I tense. Ethan’s sweater has ridden up and part of his sword tattoo is showing. It’s bad enough my dad now knows Ethan has a sword tattoo, but does he remember seeing the raven symbol on Ethan’s sword in that dream we all shared? My father would’ve had to really stare at the weapon to have seen it, and as far as I recall, Ethan was moving pretty quickly each time he had seen him holding it.

  “It’s just great to see you embracing Margaret’s passion,” Gran says, full of nostalgia. I glance her way to see her absently rubbing her fingers across the broach. “She really did love ravens.”

  “I remember Mom focusing on ravens in all those art classes you two took together,” Mom says, smiling. “I just saw the statue she sculpted in Inara’s room the other day. Thank you for saving it for her. It’s like a piece of my mom is still here with us.”

  I flick a stop-being-so-judgy gaze to my father, who reluctantly slides his attention from Ethan to wrap the watch’s leather band around his wrist.

  “Open yours,” Aunt Sage says, her hazel eyes brimming with excitement.

  I quickly rip open the ribbon and wrapping and gasp at the half-carat diamond earrings. “Aunt Sage, this is too much.”

  She gestures to my dad. “It’s from both of us. Put them on and let us see your shiny lobes.”

  As I quickly slip the earrings on, I notice my mom’s pinched lips.

  Standing, she bends down and retrieves a slim gift box from under the tree, then hands it to me. “Might as well give you this now.”

  I furrow my brow. We usually exchange our gifts in the morning time. “Are you sure, Mom?”

  Nodding, she offers a wry half-smile then sits back down beside Gran.

  When I pull off the gift paper and open the jewelry box, Mom says, “Now you’ll have a matching set.”

  I lift up the necklace with a solitaire diamond. “Wow, great minds. It’s like you guys were in sync or something.”

  “I guess,” Mom says, then motions me to her so she can put the necklace on. Once it’s done, she touches the diamond around my neck. “Merry Christmas, Inara.”

  I can tell she’s feeling a bit one-upped by my aunt and dad, so I hug her tight. “Thank you, Mom. I love it so much.” When she hugs me back harder than she ever has, I whisper in her ear, “Nothing will ever change between us. I love you.”

  Mom’s a little teary when I straighten, but her smile is back. She squeezes my hands and we exchange a look of understanding.

  “It’s lovely, Inara,” Aunt Sage says, lightening the heavy mood that has descended around us.

  When I turn to thank her, Gran points to the big box under the tree. “Open your gift from David, Elizabeth.”

  Mom’s eyes widen. “That’s from David?”

  Gran nods. “Yup. He dropped it off while you were upstairs changing and insisted you open it tonight so he could be here in spirit.”

  “Maybe I should wait,” Mom starts to say, but Gran shakes her head.

  “No, he insisted, dear. Open it.”

  While I move to sit back with Ethan, I glance at Gran, my eyebrows raised. She just embellished the heck out of the story I’d planned
to tell Mom about the gift under the tree. And why is she pushing Mom to open it now?

  “That was sweet of him to bring it by considering he’s sick.” Mom’s eyes light up and she moves to squat next to the gift.

  My father straightens his spine a bit, his jaw hardening while Mom tears into the gift. When he smirks slightly and says, “He bought you a crockpot?” it’s hard not to roll my eyes at him.

  I quickly point to the crockpot box. “David said the real gift is inside, Mom.”

  “Oh, okay.” Mom pulls an annoyed look from my father’s direction and opens the box.

  When she lifts out an envelope, I smile. “Open it.”

  Mom flips back the flap and lifts out the official looking card, then presses her lips together.

  “Well, what is it?” Gran asks, eyes brimming with curiosity as she leans over to see. “Oh, it’s a gift certificate for cooking lessons.”

  As Gran makes a hmmm sound, my dad mutters, “Winning lots of points there.”

  My aunt cuts a sharp look to her brother at the same time my mom narrows her gaze on him for a split second. Sliding the box and envelope back under the tree, Mom stands and spreads her hands. “Who would like some eggnog?”

  While Mom makes a fast retreat to the kitchen, Gran grabs the envelope once more, her brow furrowed. Waving it in the air, she said, “Did you read David’s note, Elizabeth?”

  Mom pauses in pouring some rum into her cup of eggnog, her expression a bit anxious. “There was a note?”

  Gran holds the card up, glances at my dad for a brief second, then reads out loud, “My dearest Elizabeth, I’m looking forward to taking these classes with you. To me, the best part will be a chance to spend some quality time together. Merry Christmas. David.” Lowering the card, Gran grins. “Aw, now that’s sweet.”

  Mom beams, her entire face transforming.

  Dad scowls and my aunt covers her mouth, trying not to laugh at him. Gran turns toward my father. “What’d you get her, Jonathan?”

  He starts to reach into the bag Aunt Sage brought in with them, but Houdini makes a horrific retching sound, grabbing all our attention. I jump up and herd my dog to the kitchen’s tile floor, worry sliding through me.