Love Is in the Air

by A. Destiny

  “You really are beautiful,” he says.

  “Thanks,” I reply. I don’t compliment him in return. The voice in my head becomes Megan’s taunting drawl, and I can’t shake the uncertainty that comes with it.

  Sadly, he seems to mistake my silence and distant expression as something else. He leans in then, pulling me a little closer. His eyes flutter shut.

  Alarm bells ring.

  “Why did you ask me out?” I blurt.

  His eyes snap open. “What?”

  “Why did you ask me out?” I repeat.

  “I don’t understand—”

  “You didn’t start talking to me until right after the talent show. You could have any girl at camp, so why did you pick me?”

  “Jenn, I—”

  “Did Megan put you up to it?”

  That makes him stutter. “Wh-What?”

  I don’t repeat myself. I just stare at him with what I hope is a no-nonsense look and wait for him to answer.

  “Jenn, that’s just ridiculous.”

  “You’re not answering the question.”

  He shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have to answer. You’re being crazy.”

  “Then say she didn’t put you up to it.”

  He opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. But there’s a flicker in his features, the slightest tilt that tells me I’ve hit the nail on the head.

  “Did she pay you?” I whisper. Even saying the words makes me feel sick.

  Again, he says nothing.

  “How much?” I push. We’ve both stopped dancing now. We stand in the middle of the gym while everyone moves around us, and no one is aware of this minor breakdown. No one knows that inside, it feels like getting stood up all over again. But much, much worse.

  Because I fell for it. Again.

  “A hundred,” he finally says.

  I gasp. Take a step back.

  “But I wasn’t going to take it,” he says. He tries to reach out for me, but I move out of the way. “I promise, Jenn. I was going to give it back.”

  “Which is it? You weren’t going to accept it or you were going to return it? I’m not a trial date, Luke. I’m not a piece of clothing you can return.”

  He’s gaping like a fish. The anger in me grows. I can’t tell if it’s rage at him or Megan or myself.

  “You’re disgusting,” I finally say. Then I turn and run from the gym. The only consolation I have is that I don’t start crying until I reach the dorms.

  • • •

  “Jennifer, wait!”

  Riley’s voice calls me to a stop. I’m halfway down the hall, heading toward our dorm room, where I’d planned on locking myself in the shower for the rest of the night. But hearing her voice makes me realize that I don’t actually want to be alone. Not now. Not when it hurts this much.

  “What happened?” she asks. She jogs up beside me and puts her hands on my shoulders, examining me like she’s expecting bruises. “What did he do?”

  I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to choke down a sob.

  “She paid him. She paid him to ask me.”

  “What? Who paid who?”

  “Megan. She paid Luke to ask me to the dance. A hundred dollars.”

  Riley curses under her breath, calling Megan even worse things than before.

  “I’m not going to let her get away with this,” she whispers, almost to herself. Her cheeks aren’t red, not yet, but they’re slowly burning their way there. But the fight in me is gone. I feel broken and battered. I’ve given up.

  “Riley, don’t.” I reach out and take her arm. She shrugs it off.

  “No. No one treats my friends like this. She’s going to pay.”

  Before I can beg her not to go, she stomps off down the hall. I consider going to our room for the briefest second, but the idea of letting Riley fight my battle is disgusting. I don’t want this to end in violence. I just want this to end.

  For the first time since that fateful audition on the flying trapeze, I want the camp to be over with.

  I force down my tears and run to catch up to Riley just as she enters the gym.

  But there’s already a fight raging inside the gym. And it’s immediately clear that this one has nothing to do with me.

  The music screeches to a halt the moment we step into the gym. The dance floor is a sea of yelling people crowding together. Riley gives me a questioning look, her features instantly dropping the anger from before.

  Then we hear Tyler yelling above all the rest, and my anger switches to concern.

  We run toward the huddle of people, pushing our way past everyone until we’re in the center. Tyler and Kevin are locked in a fight with two guys I’ve never seen before. One swings at Kevin’s face; Kevin dodges just in time and manages to shove the guy to the ground. Tyler is in a headlock. Only then do I register that Branden is there, trying to pull the guy’s arms off Tyler’s neck. It’s immediately clear what it’s about: the names the strangers are calling Tyler and Kevin make me sick.

  I’ve heard people throw around the word “gay” in a derogatory way, but I’ve never heard it used like this.

  “Stop it!” I scream, and I launch myself into the fray. Riley’s right there beside me, but before either of us can get a swing in, the coaches bust through the crowd and grapple with the intruders. They pry the brown-haired boy off Tyler and yank the blond from the ground. Tyler and Kevin step back, chests heaving as the coaches detain the intruders. The unknown boys don’t stop hurling insults, the least of which is that Tyler and Kevin are disgusting for dancing together.

  “Get them out of here,” Olga says. She pushes her way up behind me. “I don’t care who they are, we will not tolerate this sort of behavior. The police are on their way.”

  The coaches detaining the strangers nod, then begin dragging the still-yelling boys toward the exit. The crowd parts away from them as they go.

  “And you,” Olga says, turning to us. I’ve always been a ­little intimidated by her, but she’s never been this imposing. “What happened here?”

  “They started it,” Tyler pants. His arm is over Kevin’s shoulders—I can’t tell who is holding up who.

  Kevin continues. “Just came up behind us and started punching.”

  “Are you hurt?” Olga asks.

  Both boys shake their heads. Tyler manages a weak smile. “Should have known better than to mess with us. We’d have had them if they hadn’t caught us by surprise.”

  “We don’t condone violence here,” Olga says. Then her voice softens. “But I’m glad you’re okay. Leena? Take them to the nurse’s station. Make sure they’re fit to perform tomorrow. The rest of you, back to the dance.”

  Leena strides up and puts a comforting hand on each boy’s shoulder. “Come on,” she whispers, and begins to guide them away. Riley and I follow, Sandy at our heels.

  As we pass through the crowd, I catch sight of Branden. His chest is heaving, and there’s a bruise just beginning to form over his right eye. The look he gives me is filled with a thousand different emotions I can’t begin to decipher. His lips mouth something.

  It almost looks like I’m sorry.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  We spend the rest of the night with Tyler and Kevin in the nurse’s station. Once Leena makes sure there’s nothing wrong with the boys—like Tyler repeatedly says, the other guys didn’t stand a chance—she leaves and brings us back a few tubs of ice cream.

  “They were supposed to be for the dance,” she says. “But I think you guys more than deserve it.” Then she says she has to keep chaperoning, and that we can stay here until sign-in.

  “Are you guys okay?” I ask the moment Leena’s gone.

  Tyler shrugs. “They didn’t get a punch in.”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  Kevin sighs and leans in to Tyler. They’re both sitting on the bed, sharing a pint of ice cream between them. “Nothing I haven’t heard before,” he says. “Sometimes that’s the price of being yourself.”
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  “I hate it,” Riley mutters.

  “Me too,” Tyler says. “But the only way to change it is to challenge it.”

  And that’s when I realize: They go through this every day. If they want to be themselves, they have to put up with bullying and abuse, both verbal and physical. The idea of it makes my blood boil and heart sink. Suddenly my problems seem insignificant.

  “You’re incredibly brave,” I say. I don’t mean to speak, but the words come out anyway.

  “Thanks, love,” Tyler says. He smiles, and when he speaks his tone is lighter. “You were pretty brave yourself, jumping in there like some warrior woman.”

  Kevin smiles as well. “Right? It’s lucky the coaches jumped in when they did. You might have killed those guys.”

  “Given the chance,” Riley mutters from the bench. Sandy pats her head.

  “Calm down, warrior pixie,” he says. “Violence is never the answer. Ice cream, on the other hand, is always the answer.”

  “Are you patronizing me?” she asks. There’s no real anger in her voice.

  “Um, no? Ice cream is the great equalizer. Unless you’re lactose intolerant.”

  Riley just giggles and snuggles into him.

  Even though I’m the fifth wheel, I don’t feel awkward sitting on the chair alone. Being in this room with these people feels like being with family. All of us united because we’re different, because at any moment life can throw a curveball.

  Tears form in my eyes.

  “What’s wrong?” Kevin asks. “You’re not lactose intolerant, are you?”

  I sniff and smile. “No. It’s just . . . you guys are probably the best friends I’ve ever had.”

  The words aren’t enough to express the weight of it, the knowledge that if I ever needed something, they’d be there, and vice versa. Olga had said we’d grow to trust one another over the course of the camp, but I didn’t know the full extent of it. I’d trust these guys with my life. And in many ways, being in a show with them, I already do. It’s the most humbling and heartening thing I’ve ever felt.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” Riley says. “Now, less weepy, more ice creamy. You’re smudging my masterpiece.”

  • • •

  Leena comes back an hour or so later, right before sign-in. We spent the rest of our time in the office telling stories and figuring out our next big reunion. Which, if things go as hoped, will be in a few weeks.

  “Who were they?” asks Tyler when Leena steps in.

  “Just some guys from town,” she says. “Thought they’d crash the party. Probably didn’t think they’d be taken home in cop cars.”

  “Serves them right,” Riley says. Sandy nudges her.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” Leena says, looking at Tyler and Kevin, “but we called your parents to let them know what happened. Well, we just told them that some guys came in and started a fight with you. We didn’t give the specifics, just in case . . .”

  “They know,” Tyler says.

  “Mine too,” Kevin adds.

  “Okay, well, we wanted to be on the safe side.” She looks around the room. “Anyway, it’s bedtime. Big day tomorrow.”

  And just like that, the final night at camp comes to a close. We head out of the room in silence, toward the dorms, following Leena. Tyler and Kevin are holding hands in some quiet show of resilience. Sandy has his arm looped around Riley’s shoulder, and her hand is in mine. She squeezes my fingers like she, too, knows the emotional weight of this. When Leena tells Sandy he needs to head home, he kisses Riley on the top of the head and leaves, promising he’ll be there front and center for the show tomorrow. For some reason, this just makes my heart drop a little more; Mom and Dad will be there for the show, sure. But I don’t have anyone special coming to see me—no friends or boyfriend. Even as the four of us walk down the hall together, I can’t shake the feeling of being alone.

  The boys give us hugs good night, and then Riley and I head up to our room. No one else is mingling in the halls. I’ve no clue if the dance is still going on or if we’re just getting back late. Something tells me it’s the latter. We don’t speak as we scrub off our makeup and change into pajamas. My brain is racing the entire time; I’m more nervous about going to sleep and saying good-bye to this than I was coming here. And that’s saying something.

  It’s not until we’re both in bed and the lights are off that Riley speaks.

  “Well,” she says, almost to herself. “That was an eventful night.”

  I don’t respond; I keep my eyes closed as I relive the night. I hear her turn over in bed.

  “You okay?” she asks.

  Again, I don’t respond.

  “Is this about Luke?” she asks. Her voice goes softer; she knows this isn’t a subject I want to discuss.

  “Yes and no,” I say. “I just . . . I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I fell for it again. But it’s not a big deal, not compared to what Tyler and Kevin went through. So that just makes me feel even worse.”

  “You can’t do that to yourself. You’re allowed to feel hurt at what Luke did to you, no matter what’s going on in anyone else’s life.”

  I shrug.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I say. “After tomorrow I won’t see Luke ever again.”

  Riley goes silent for a moment.

  “You know, he was asking about you. Branden.”

  “What? When?”

  “Sandy told me. Branden came up to him when he saw you run out. He wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  I’d been doing my best to force the image of Branden out of my mind. Her words just bring it all back. Why am I still attracted to him? Why do I still care? Still, knowing he was thinking of me makes me feel a little warmer.

  “Then why didn’t he ask me himself?” I mutter.

  “I don’t know. Maybe he was worried it would upset you more?” She sighs. “I still don’t think Branden’s a bad guy. I mean, I was watching him dance with Megan. He did not seem into it at all. In fact, he looked like he wanted out. And I definitely caught him staring at you. A lot.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “I’m just saying,” she continues, “Megan paid Luke to ask you out. If she’s willing to stoop that low, who knows what she did or said to Branden to make him go for her.”

  I hadn’t thought of it like that. Had Megan manipulated Branden somehow? Was she the real bad guy in all of this?

  “We’ll probably never know,” I say after a while. “Anyway, I’m tired. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  She whispers a good night. I can tell she wants to press the subject, but she doesn’t. For that, I’m grateful.

  I pull the covers tight around me and curl up. I know I should be thinking of Tyler and Kevin and their struggles. I know I should give up on the whole dating thing. But as I lie there, all I can think of is the look Branden gave me when Leena took us away. He said he was sorry. For what?

  I don’t have any answers, and as sleep folds in, I’m pretty certain my dreams won’t either.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The next morning is a rush of nerves and excitement. Despite the crazy of the dance last night, all Tyler and Kevin talk about over breakfast is their act and how they can fine-tune the moves. Neither Riley nor I mention anything about the fight. If the boys are over it, we will be as well. So she and I talk about our own routine and the show in general and occasionally mention the next time we’re going to meet up. Having her as a friend just furthers my desire to get a driver’s license and car.

  After breakfast is another run-through of the show, this one in full dress. Riley and I get into our costumes—a mismatch of tie-dye and neon colors, just like the rest of the jugglers, and head to the backstage area behind the tent. Yesterday was our one chance of seeing the show; today we rehearse like there’s actually an audience. Because in a few hours, the bleachers are going to be packed.

  Once we’re all assembled in the grass behind the tent, Olga comes out and makes a
few announcements about show order and music cues. Someone nudges into me while she’s talking. I glance over, expecting it to be Riley returning from a prop-gathering mission, and see Branden.

  For a moment he just stands there, silent, looking at me with an expression I can’t quite place.

  “Hey,” he finally whispers.

  “Hi,” I whisper back.

  “I need to talk to you.”

  I glance over to Olga, who’s finishing up her notes. He takes my cue.

  “After?” he asks.

  I shrug. I don’t know what he wants to talk about, but I can’t forget Riley’s words last night. I also can’t ignore the little bubble of hope inside of me when he’s near.

  “Okay,” he says. “Well, break a leg.”

  He seems torn up when he says it, but before I can say anything, he vanishes back into the crowd. Olga’s done with her notes. Showtime.

  The show is a blur. Riley appears beside me just in time to dash out onstage for the charivari. We do our routine, and after what feels like no time at all, we dash back behind the scenes and out into the grass. I half expect Branden to show up and try to chat with me, but he doesn’t. He stays over beside his acro group. I catch Luke’s eye and glare. He blushes and looks away.

  Riley and I practice our act over and over backstage. There’s nothing else to do, really, and warming up like this keeps my mind off other things. Like Megan, stretching beside the tent with her sisters. If I think about her too much, I may just “accidentally” chuck a juggling club at her head.

  Surprisingly, I’m not nearly as nervous as I thought I’d be this time around. Maybe it’s because the practice keeps my brain engaged on not losing an eye. Maybe it’s because I’m actually starting to get used to this performing thing. Whatever the reason, I barely notice the time fly by. Then, out of nowhere, Olga comes back and says that we’re skipping intermission for this run-through. Riley and I take our places. Then, with the blare of music, we run onstage.