Sweet Bliss

by Helena Rac

  I knew this was coming, since I asked the question. In the meantime, I’ve thought about it, and I think I’m ready to give him a snippet. Jason’s long gone from my life. Not telling Luke would make it seem like he still has control over my feelings, which he doesn’t.

  “Three years,” I admit.

  “That sounds somewhat committal.” I’m trying hard to figure out what his expression is telling me, but I can’t. If he’s at all concerned, he doesn’t show it.

  “I thought so too. But it didn’t work out. Obviously.” I snort because I feel a little nervous talking about it. Classy. But beside my mom, my sister, and Rose, I’ve never shared this story with anyone else. Especially not with another guy. And I’m about to.

  “What happened?”

  “I thought what Jason and I had was going to last forever.” Great lead-in, Tessa. Explaining this is going to be harder than I thought. I take a moment to collect my thoughts. “We started dating while I was in college. He was a couple of years older and I was so head-over-heels for him. I thought I loved him, and I probably did on some level. But it turns out I was so infatuated that I failed to see anything. I had no idea that he’d decided to move overseas to do his masters until he called one day to tell me he was leaving. And that long-distance wouldn’t work for him. He basically broke things off on the phone.” I take a sip of my wine; I need to continue this calmly, even though I still seem to feel this anger inside whenever the topic of Jason comes up. Jerk!

  “He was supposed to be gone for eight months. For weeks I held out hope that he’d miss me, that he would realize he was wrong and come back. But he never did. So you can see how I may have a slight problem trusting men. Especially those across the Atlantic.” I laugh nervously again, as I’m sure the irony of the situation is not lost on Luke.

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says, trying to make light of the situation. “And I’m sorry things didn’t work out, because I know that must have been hard on you. But I’m kind of glad.”

  “You’re glad?”

  “I am. Because you’re here now, and I have a shot with you. Because I get a chance to show you that not every guy is like Jason. Because I can make you believe again.”

  “Believe?”

  “In love.”

  Chapter 13

  By the time dinner is over, there is so much I’ve learned about Luke, so much that I really, really like. And a few things that absolutely petrify me. But there’s still so much I want to find out and that I know would complete my picture of this intriguing person who’s sitting across from me. I’m beginning to realize that my infatuation with Luke is more real than I thought.

  Luke is studying me intently and looking at me like he wants to devour me bite by bite. He reaches for my fingers across the table, and without letting his gaze leave mine, he stands up, comes around to me, and pulls me up by my hand so that I’m face to face with him.

  “Let’s dance,” he whispers, and then his arms wrap around my back and mine instinctively wrap around his neck.

  I haven’t been paying attention to the music in the background, but as the acoustic version of Sam Smith’s “Latch” starts, I can’t help but wonder if he chose this song to dance to on purpose or if it just happens to be playing. My brain is wired to analyze every situation, and right now I’m wondering how reflective the lyrics are of us. Can I take this chance with Luke when I haven’t taken a chance on anything even remotely similar in years? Will I be able to commit to him when my last committed relationship blew up in my face?

  This insta-lust I’m experiencing kind of sucks. I mean, not really, because duh, who wouldn’t want a bite of Mr. Delicious? But it does, given our less than ideal situation. Why do people fall like this? So suddenly, so unintentionally, when it’s least expected? I realize my experience with Luke is in direct contrast to how I’ve lived my life so far.

  It’s like he can read my mind; as the song ends he whispers, “Give us a chance.” We’re barely moving now, yet somehow still dancing in the quiet, our foreheads touching, our bodies still connected.

  “I’ll try,” I whisper back, realizing just how much I want to, and hoping I can actually deliver on my words.

  The soft promise is all the reassurance Luke needs, it appears, because he doesn’t wait a second longer. Instead, his mouth finds mine and his hands tangle in my hair. His kiss is impatient and laced with need. I close my eyes and let out a soft moan as I lose myself completely in the way his tongue dances with mine. It’s tango and rock and waltz, all in perfect harmony.

  As the intensity of our kiss grows, Luke scoops me up and carries me to his bedroom. I cling to him until my feet find the floor next to his bed. I’m so ready to take our mouth-to-mouth dance to that next step – I’ve been ready for a while. And from the raw need in Luke’s eyes, from the ragged breaths that escape his chest, it seems like he’s been ready for a while too.

  He unzips my dress, and it slips down so that all I’m left with is the black lace lingerie that I selected for tonight. Goose bumps prickle my skin, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m almost naked or because the way his fingers trail down my skin is causing them to surface. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.

  “You’re beautiful, inside and out,” Luke murmurs, his eyes glistening with what I can only decipher as admiration mixed with lust. I wonder how many times he’s thought of me like this, nearly bare and feverish with need. I wonder how many times he’s imagined us like this, in the moment before we really connect. I’ve thought of these moments, dreamed of them. Now I want the real thing. I don’t want to wait a moment longer.

  I unbutton his shirt with hurried movements and pull it off him, then place the palm of my hand on his chest. He sucks in a deep breath, like my touch is enough to light his skin on fire. I feel the beat of his heart bounce off my palm, and I recognize that my heart beats at the same exhilarating speed. It’s ready to jump out of my chest.

  “God, Tess, I want you so fucking bad,” Luke growls, and I’m almost undone just by the sound of his rough voice. He pulls down my panties, and I step out of them while he takes a moment to undo my bra. Now I am definitely naked and completely aware of how Luke’s proximity makes me feel. Flushed. Frenzied. Exposed. My nipples taunt him, I’m sure, because he grins, seemingly enjoying the display. I smile back, but my smile quickly turns into a moan as Luke cups one breast and then pinches my nipple between his fingers. My body reacts and I’m quivering with the need to have him. Self-control is at a premium right now.

  With pained restraint, I manage to find the focus I need to undo his belt and unbutton his pants. I’m a bit clumsy, but it’s only because if I had it my way, I’d tear them right off him. Or maybe if I had a magic wand, he’d be naked and in me. Like, right now.

  Luke chuckles at my impatience and helps me by pulling his pants down along with his boxers. And there he is. Thick, hard, totally erect. I may have missed him a little since Friday. Or a lot. Either way, my eyes are stuck on his cock like it’s a shiny new toy I saw in a store, played with for a few minutes, and then didn’t think I’d ever see again. Until Christmas morning. Oh, how I love Christmas morning.

  “You’re so hard.” I point out the obvious as my hand travels to grope his length. I have an urge to pet him, but not in a soft way. In a wicked kind of way.

  “You make me hard.” His voice is so rough it’s driving me mad.

  He lifts me and I wrap around him. Except this time I’m naked and can feel him right there, right where I want him. I whimper, demanding softly, “Fuck me, Luke.”

  He lays me down on the edge of his bed, and this is it. This is the moment. The one I’ve been secretly fantasizing about since I first ran into him. I’m about to have sex with my delicious, sexy stranger. Yay!

  Of course, I should know by now that Luke prefers to keep me guessing. Instead of giving me what I’ve been craving for months, he stills, then smiles charmingly. “Not just yet. I want to take my sweet time with you
. Discover every little freckle, explore every inch of your body.”

  I’m both astounded and exasperated. Really? How does he have any control when I am just about ready to fall apart?

  As he begins discovering me, he leans over and takes a moment to brush his fingers against my lips, touching them softly, pulling on my lower lip. “Your lips … so fucking kissable, Tessa,” he groans, and then he places a lingering kiss on them. I moan in his mouth and push my hips up so that I can feel him again. I’m in desperate need of more than just a kiss. And he’s not letting me have it. This is so not fair.

  “Nuh-uh, not yet.” He traces his fingers down my neck to my collarbone, toward the middle and down my breastbone. His eyes follow his fingers, admiring every inch like he intended. My skin tingles; my body trembles. I kind of hate him right now. I mean, only a little. Even though he’s not where I really, really want him, what he’s doing is beyond arousing.

  His next stop is my breasts. He circles them in admiration, then cups them in his hands, squeezing, kneading, playing.

  “Your tits … mouth-watering,” he growls, and then he brings his mouth down to one nipple. The feeling of his tongue on me is heavenly. He sucks, pulls, twirls, then moves to the other and does the same. God, that feels so good. I swear, it’s like my nipples are wired directly to my pussy; I feel the wetness between my thighs and I’m certain I will break apart just from the action my breasts are getting. It’s like he knows just what turns me on, what will bring me closer to that sweet oblivion.

  “Please.” The rasp of my voice is barely audible. My mouth feels so dry.

  He shakes his head, not giving in, then continues trailing his fingers down, circling softly around my belly button. I can’t help it. In the middle of his sensuous exploration of my body, I actually giggle.

  “Is this that ticklish spot of yours?” He’s grinning like he’s found a pot of gold nestled in my belly button. I nod. “Right here?”

  “Very.”

  He hums and gently kisses the spot. Surprisingly, it’s no longer ticklish. It’s pure delight. And I’m no longer laughing. I’m back to being crazed and hot in anticipation. As he’s kissing my belly button, his fingers travel lower … and lower. I can’t help but want to feel his fingers right where he had them once before. His mouth down there too would certainly be a bonus.

  He lifts his head and looks at me with greedy eyes. He’s so close to touching me again that I sense the control he’s been so resolutely holding onto is starting to falter.

  “Your pussy … so fuckable,” he breathes, his voice rough and deep, before he slides two fingers in me. I gasp as the warmth spreads through my body. It’s sublime. I may have despised him because of this exact same feeling for the past several months, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t missed it, hadn’t craved it, hadn’t imagined it over and over.

  He grins impishly as if he’s reading my mind. Smug, sexy bastard.

  Then he brings his mouth on me, right in that sweet spot, while his fingers continue to explore, melting my brain a little. Coherent thought no longer exists. My back arches, and all I can do is writhe and whimper and beg him for more. His mouth and fingers are a near-lethal combination. He’s licking and sucking my clit, while teasing my pussy with his damn magic fingers. I’m too worked up, too distracted to think of anything but what he’s doing to me. My moans are becoming louder and louder – I have to bite down on my lip to suppress them from becoming full-on screams. I feel my toes curling, my fingers reaching for the sheets, grasping, trying to maintain some sense of control, an ounce of sanity. But it’s too much, too soon, because I can’t hold on any longer. The orgasm I’ve been waiting for impatiently while he was so purposefully discovering me finds me and brings me to pure bliss. My eyes close as I let out a gasping moan, and when I open them I see him watching me lose myself in him, his face lit up with a cocky grin.

  “God, Luke, that felt so good,” I sigh, still in a daze.

  “You taste so fucking sweet.” His voice is rough and crazed, and his eyes glow like he’s high on me.

  “I want more.” I can’t help it, I’ve waited too long. I need more than just his mouth and fingers. I want to feel him. “Please fuck me.”

  That’s it. I’m officially begging. Enough with the games.

  “Oh, I will,” he growls, and then he reaches underneath the pillow and pulls out a condom. “Always good to be prepared.”

  “Yes, yes it is.” How convenient, and how responsible of him. “Hurry,” I mumble.

  The moment he’s neatly tucked in, he thrusts his cock inside me, claiming all that his fingers claimed just moments ago. He pushes in hard and growls, “Fuck, Tess,” like being inside me, finally, makes him completely wild. The way he fills me… God, I want him in me like that for hours. I feel every inch of him as he drives in and out, and feel him deeper and deeper every time. He’s relentless and tender; rough and gentle.

  I grab his neck and bring him to me, and he’s kissing me and I’m kissing him like we haven’t kissed before. I don’t know where his mouth ends and mine begins. We’re immersed in each other. He’s thick and growing and I’m crying, “God, Luke,” and, “Please, don’t stop.” The rest are sounds that I would only ever make under a spell of ecstasy. Whimpers and sighs that state nothing comprehensible, yet say so much at the same time. I’m utterly lost in the sensations that consume me, bewilder me, and I don’t ever want to be found. Not by anyone but Luke, that is. It’s never felt this good, with anyone else, ever, but my brain does not have the ability at this particular moment to decipher what this may mean.

  My eyes flutter open, then closed; I catch him watching me, drowning in me. I climb and climb and feel him climb along with me. The orgasm finds me and I swear I see stars and butterflies and cupcakes all at once. He’s so close, throbbing inside me, and the pulsating sensation is incredible. Within moments, he reaches his climax, and I’m completely engrossed in the feeling. I take mental note of the moment, cataloging the way he closes his eyes, the way he growls, the way he fills me. And it’s overwhelming how I feel watching him fall apart because of me. I’m elated and jittery at the same time.

  It registers that I haven’t felt anything about another guy the way I feel everything about Luke. I’ve always consciously thought of every move when I was with other guys, including Jason. I could never just shut off. But with Luke, there’s none of that. Everything about our first time has felt natural, instinctive. I’m wondering if that’s how it feels when two people are meant to be. I’m wondering if this is our beginning.

  We’re resting in his bed, our naked bodies entwined cosily. Luke’s running his fingers up and down my arm, while I’m listening to the calming sound of his heartbeat. We’re silent for a few minutes, reluctant to move, unwilling to interrupt this moment that feels like ours and only ours.

  “You know, I’ve waited twenty-eight years for someone like you to walk into my life, and you literally did. More than once,” Luke says, breaking the silence. “Only, I was being, well, me and didn’t realize it. But after that night out with Marcus and Clara, something happened. I just couldn’t get you out of my head.”

  “But it took you this long to make the connection. Why?”

  “To be honest, I don’t know. I think initially, for all I knew, I was never going to see you again. And I thought after a few days, my cock would calm down. He didn’t. I swear, the guy’s got a mind of his own.” Luke laughs. I know he’s trying to make light of the situation, but I need more than this to really understand where he’s coming from.

  “You’re a guy. That’s not at all surprising. So I’m not buying it. Why?”

  He must be figuring out how to frame it, because he’s silent for a minute. “I guess I just thought I’d go back to my pre-Tessa lifestyle. I thought a few random hookups would get me to forget you. But they didn’t. In fact, the image of you losing yourself like you did that night kept on repeating in my head. And each and every time, you had less and less
clothing on.”

  I pinch his nipple and he makes an “ouch” sound. “Luke, I’m being serious here.”

  “I’m getting there, I swear. I started to think of you – I mean, you as a person. You were intriguing. You were sweet and funny. Different. I was so confused and maybe scared on some level.”

  “Scared? Why?” Why would that have scared him?

  “Scared that I would never see you again. And that I wouldn’t be able to fully explore the possibilities.” He looks at me with such tenderness as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

  I need some time to think about what he just told me. I’ve been so hung up on him for so long – I’ve thought of him, fantasized about him, pretty much daily. But now that he’s admitted to going through similar feelings himself … well, that scares the hell out of me. I want to believe him and let him in, but my spidey sense is warning me to tread carefully.

  “I’m not sure what to say. I … I had no idea. I wish you would have found some way to tell me all this earlier.”

  “Tess, I wanted you from the first time your beautiful eyes met mine. Icing and all,” he teases, “but it never felt like the right time. I’m not sure if now’s the right time either, but I say fuck it. I have at least the next few days to get to know you, to spend more time with you. One thing I do know is that I don’t want to go back to London without trying. I know it sounds clichéd, but third time’s the charm, right?”

  “Right. I just wish I’d known. Then I’d have been able to tell you how much I wanted you, and maybe I wouldn’t have spent the last few months so expertly planning how to get back at you.”

  “What do you mean?” He tries for a confused look, but he can’t keep his face straight.

  “Come on, you know exactly what I’m referring to.”

  “Was that all part of some thoroughly-thought-out plan of yours?” he mocks, and I nudge him with my elbow.

  “Umm, yes. Evil, Kick-Ass Plan, actually. And it worked, didn’t it? If I recall correctly, you came after me, didn’t you?”