Sweet Bliss

by Helena Rac

  I’ve wanted him since the first time I ran into him too, and, despite myself, definitely since his magic fingers did a number on me. My lady parts more than want him again. I don’t think I’m ready to give up. That much I’m willing to admit to myself, but I can’t seem to say it out loud. It would make this too real.

  He holds my gaze, then pulls me closer and mumbles grouchily, “Christ, woman. What do I need to do to convince you?”

  I sense his frustration has reached its peak. This is different. Not so nice-guy Luke right now. Not so soft and gentle. Desperate, maybe. Desperate enough that he kisses me so hard that I’m nearly breathless. My mouth responds, kissing him back like I don’t ever want to miss his kiss again. Because I missed it. I missed him. My body is betraying my resolve.

  Our kissing becomes frenzied. Mmm, I love this side of Luke. He’s not taking it easy on me. He brings my dress up, then yanks down my comfy cotton boy shorts. I was not expecting to have them taken off by anyone but me when I dressed this morning. Thankfully he’s not interested in my underwear. He turns me around and bends me over the table, drawing his hand down my spine all the way to my bottom.

  He leans into me, his mouth nearly touching my ear. I feel his fiery breath on me as he commands in a low, rough voice, “Tell me you want me.”

  “I do,” I whisper.

  “Good,” he mumbles as caresses my behind, like he’s admiring my ass. At the corner of my eye, I’m pretty sure I see a spatula move off the table – no, it definitely moves, and then … he spanks me. He actually spanks me. With a spatula.

  “That’s for leaving last night,” he growls. “For being stubborn.”

  My reaction is some kind of a whimper-moan because god, that felt different, yet incredible. I feel a slight burn from where the spatula connected with my skin, but the tingling feeling that travels the short distance to my very wet and worked-up pussy is beyond arousing.

  “Again,” I whisper, and surprise even myself. “Spank me, Luke.”

  I’m asking to be spanked. With a spatula. What has gotten into me?

  He caresses the tender spot and then he does as I please. I shiver because my nerve endings feel like they’ve succumbed to torture. I wonder if I’m going insane, because I want more of it.

  “You’re driving me mad, woman,” Luke growls, like this is the most fucking fantastic thing he’s ever done, then buries his cock into me so deep, so hard, that I breathe, “God, Luke,” in response and don’t make it past two words.

  He holds my hips, my legs spread wide, as he pushes into me, hastily at first, then gently. I can feel every inch of his thick, long cock. My body mirrors his moves, my hips pushing against him in rhythm. He’s claiming me, and I feel like I need him even deeper, beyond what is physically possible. He’s cupping my breasts, squeezing, kneading. My orgasm is so close, I close my eyes in an effort to hold onto this high for longer, to hold onto Luke.

  “God, I am so lost in you,” he groans. Those words, that simple revelation, sound so sincere. My heart swells at the realization that he’s genuinely infatuated with me, perhaps just as much as I am with him. Perhaps more. My body responds, and the only feeling I register is pure pleasure as I moan his name and come undone.

  He may be lost in me, but in this moment I am just as completely lost in him. How am I feeling like this? It’s too soon, but it’s not something I can continue to downplay.

  I tuck that thought away and instead focus on Luke and the way he finds his release. He crashes down against my back, burying his face in my hair, breathing heavily.

  And I’m smiling. No, I’m beaming. “That was more than fine,” I whisper when my breathing finally returns to normal.

  He tugs at my chin and turns my face to the side so that I can see the sly grin spread across his face, validating my comment. But then his expression shifts. I notice the change in the way his eyes search mine. He whispers, “Don’t fucking leave me again, Tess. Not without saying good-bye.”

  I know he can’t possibly just be referring to me leaving him last night. I know he can’t bear to be broken again the way he must have been when his mom left. I know how scarred that must have left his heart. And I also know how much I hate not hearing good-bye too. Dad never had a chance to say it. Jason never cared to.

  I know that good-bye will come sooner than we’re willing to accept right now. I’m not so sure I’ll be ready to say it when the time comes. My heart may not be able to handle it.

  What am I getting myself into? The thought I tucked away is back and apparently needs further analysis. Whatever this is that Luke and I have feels so good and so right, yet it’s so terrifying and unpredictable at the same time. What if Luke is The One? God, I’m starting to sound like Clara. But what if he is? After all, I do feel this connection with him – I’m drawn to him like icing to a cupcake. Without him, I’m just a plain, boring muffin. Not nearly as sweet. Not nearly as exciting.

  And if I don’t completely embrace the connection, the possibilities, will I forever regret not giving us a chance? Will I wonder what could have been? Committing to wherever this may lead could break me again, but for some reason, I feel like it’s the right thing to do.

  “I won’t,” I whisper, but hate myself the second I say it. Why did I say it with such certainty, when I’m not completely sure if I’ll actually be able to follow through? The last thing I want to do is lie to Luke, especially since I know how difficult saying good-bye will be. Leaving without a word will be much easier. When the time comes, I may be too much of a coward to say it to him face to face.

  Chapter 15

  When we’re done doing what it is we just did – in the work room of the bakery, I might add – I turn to Luke and we stand together, breathing each other in, our bodies molded. He wraps his arms around my waist, holding me tight, before bringing his hand to my face, brushing my lips with his thumb. He looks at me with soft adoration and boyish infatuation, and I revel in the moment. But a few seconds later, that look is replaced by a strange one, like something just registered with him.

  “Oh god, Tess, I’m so sorry. I got carried away.”

  That he did. No complaints, though. That was so hot.

  “I think we both did.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. I … we … we didn’t use anything.”

  Oh. Oh. Oh god, he’s right. And here I promised myself I’d never be irresponsible again. I try to process what this may mean as thoughts of Luke and other women cross my mind. Even though I know it’s been a while for him, I don’t know the details of his history, and from the intel I’ve got so far, I’d probably be foolish not to question his record. And vice versa.

  “I’m perfectly clean since that drunken mistake I told you about. Trust me, I had to make sure,” I say with a grimace. “And on the pill. You?”

  “Ditto,” he says. “To the making sure, I mean. Not to the pill. That would be, well, odd.” He laughs with obvious relief and a little bit of mischief. I’m relieved too. And surprisingly, it doesn’t bother me that it happened the way it did. I’m kind of turned on by the skin-on-skin contact.

  “No need to apologize. Really. That was… Hmm, how should I put it?” I’m struggling to find the best way to describe it. “Definitely feel free to do that again.”

  “If you misbehave again, I just may. In all seriousness, though…”

  “Yeah?” I ask expectantly.

  “What you said earlier, Tessa, about me leaving in a week and what that would mean for us.” He looks at me, searching for a reaction, recognizing the unease in my eyes at the mere mention of him leaving. “Let’s not think about next Monday, okay? Let’s just focus on one day at a time. I really would like it if we could spend some time together over the next few days. I want to show you what it would be like being with me.” His voice pleads with me, his eyes hopeful.

  “You make it sound so simple.” I sigh.

  “That’s because it is. It should be. Don’t overthink it, don’t complicate it. J
ust say you will.”

  “Okay, I will,” I whisper, leaning my forehead against his, rubbing his nose affectionately with mine.

  “That’s better.” He grins as if I’ve promised the world, then kisses me, holding my cheeks in the palms of his hands. It feels so intimate, so lovely, so connected. I kiss him back, my kiss filled with emotion, with the hope that he understands I trust him to not break my heart.

  “I’ve got a busy day today, wrapping up a few things at the office here that have carried over from last week, and then I’m having dinner with my dad later on tonight. But tomorrow, can we spend some time together? Just the two of us? Maybe even the whole day?” A day with Luke sounds wonderful. “Do you think you can make it work?” he asks expectantly.

  “I think that can be arranged. After all, I’m the boss.” I chuckle. “Since I’ve been working non-stop due to a very important wedding this weekend, I should be able to take a day off. Especially if I have no more interruptions today.”

  “Can’t guarantee that, but I’ll try.”

  “Tessa, someone’s here to see you,” Rose calls after me while I’m in the stock room checking our inventory.

  A familiar voice follows. “I said I couldn’t guarantee. Sorry. You like Chinese?”

  I turn around, and of course I should have known. Luke grins as he walks over and plants a kiss on my mouth.

  “I do.”

  “I needed a break from the office. I needed to see you again,” he admits, and I feel giddy because he’s taken time from his busy day to see me.

  “I’m glad you’re here. And thanks for lunch. Oh, I’m sorry, Rose.” I realize that she’s still standing in the doorway, a crazy grin plastered on her face. “I assume you guys have met?” She nods. “Do you mind if I take a short break?”

  “Not at all. Let me take over. You go and enjoy your lunch,” Rose says with a wink. She could not possibly be any more obvious. Rose is a great friend, but she’s also a bit of a smart ass.

  Luke and I eat and talk about nothing and everything. He tells me about the things he’s working on and some of the potential acquisitions they’re looking at. He talks about the business trips he plans on taking to explore those possibilities. He’s passionate about his career and how the travel allows him to combine work with pleasure. I wonder if he’ll ever consider giving it up and moving back to Chicago. Though I know I shouldn’t because his answer will likely be disappointing, I ask anyway.

  “Would you ever consider moving back? To Chicago, I mean?” I hold my breath as I anticipate his answer.

  He takes a minute to process. I assume it’s probably not something he’s had to contemplate, at least not for a while. He holds my gaze, and something on his face changes, like he’s looking for a certain reaction and hoping he’ll see it. “If the right opportunity presents itself. If there’s a good enough reason … I would.”

  Oh.

  I hope I’m not reading too much into his answer, but I can’t help but wonder if I would be a good enough reason for him. There’s no way I’m asking. Knowing and not knowing his answer are equally terrifying options, so this will have to do for now.

  “So you’re seeing your dad today?” I ask, intrigued to find out more about their relationship and take my mind off all the questions that are swirling in my head. I’ll have to make a list of those later.

  “Yeah, I haven’t seen him since I got here. It’s been a while since I last saw him.” I can sense a hint of guilt in his voice.

  “Do you guys talk often?”

  “Not often enough,” he says, sounding somewhat disappointed. With himself, maybe?

  “How come?” I realize I may be prodding, but I can’t help myself. I want to know more about Luke, more about everything that defines him. I know his mom left – though that’s about all I know at this point – but I don’t really know what his relationship has been like with his dad since.

  “To be honest, I don’t know.” He hesitates, which is unlike him; he’s normally so forward. “After Mom left, I probably didn’t handle everything the way I should have. I said some pretty shitty things to my dad when she didn’t come back.” Remorse is evident in his voice and his eyes. This obviously isn’t something he wants to be reminded of, and here I am, dragging it out of him anyway.

  “You were too young to know any better. I’m sure your reactions were not unreasonable given the circumstances,” I say, trying to comfort him.

  “I just wish I didn’t say some of the stuff I said. He’s always been there for me, and I was a difficult teen, blaming him instead of my mom.”

  “We always manage to hurt those closest to us. It’s the easiest way to handle emotions that are spiraling out of control.”

  “Yeah, no kidding.”

  “Have you ever talked to him about it?”

  “We’ve talked, in not so many words.”

  “I’m sure if you just do, if you talk to him about it, you’d see that he probably forgave you a long time ago. He probably never blamed you for anything to begin with. He must have known how difficult a time it was for you, how much it would have affected how you behaved.”

  “I just– I don’t want to bring up the ghosts of the past. We’re past that now, and our relationship is a thousand times better than it has been in years,” he clarifies.

  “That makes sense, I guess.” I know I shouldn’t push this any further. So I just leave it at that. It’s between him and his dad. Since I don’t know all the details, I’m not the best person to be passing judgment. “So where are we off to tomorrow?” I ask, hoping to deflect our discussion.

  “It’s a surprise.” He winks playfully.

  “You won’t tell me?” He shakes his head. “Will you give me a clue, please? I need to at least have an idea. I don’t deal well with surprises.”

  He laughs. “Just wear something comfortable. That’s all. Oh, and a skimpy bikini.” He grins mischievously. “I’ll pick you up at nine.”

  A bikini. I already like where this is going.

  We finish our impromptu lunch, and before he leaves he kisses me so fiercely that my mind momentarily spins out of control. I let out a raspy moan, and when I finally find my voice, I whisper, “Normally I’d recommend you have dessert, but I think you should take a rain check instead. I might let you cash it in later. Well, soon later.” I smile.

  “You got it, cupcake.”

  Knock knock knock.

  I hear the banging, but I’m unable to place it.

  Knock knock knock. Again. What is that damn noise? I turn my night light on and realize the noise I was hearing in my dream is coming from my door. I look at the clock. Who the fuck is knocking at my door at eleven thirty?

  Knock knock.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming,” I say groggily, almost angry about being woken up. I really, really love my sleep. Wearing only my white cami top and a pair of pink boy-short panties, I manage my way to the door in a daze and take a look through the peephole.

  It’s him. Delicious as always. In an instant, my heart begins to beat at a pace I usually only feel when running. Or those times when I run into Luke. Which seems to happen a lot. What is he doing here? I run my fingers through my hair, hoping the sleepy mess will turn out to be half decent as I open the door and face him.

  “Hey,” Luke says in a husky voice as his eyes scan my outfit. Or lack thereof.

  “Hi,” I manage barely audibly, my voice still sleepy, though my breath catches at the sight of the magnificence in front of me. His dark gray tie is loosened around his neck and the top buttons of his light gray dress shirt are undone. He’s got a day’s worth of scruff and his eyes are beaming. “What are you doing here?”

  “I needed to see you.”

  “How did you get into the building?”

  “I convinced the doorman that it was an emergency,” Luke says with a playful wink.

  “An emergency?” I ask confused and concerned at the same time, and still a bit asleep. “Is everything okay?”r />
  “Everything is more than okay, especially now.” He grins, a look of mischief on his face. “It turns out the dessert I had tonight just didn’t do it for me. I’m still hungry for something sweet, so I’m here to claim my rain check.”

  Oh. The rain check. I’m suddenly completely awake, charged with the energy that radiates off him and gets sucked into every pore of my body.

  He takes a step toward me, closing the door behind him. “Very, very hungry,” he continues as he pulls me toward him and wraps his hands around my waist. A soft moan escapes me when I feel his erection. “And it couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning. So yeah, definitely an emergency,” he continues. “There’s only one thing I can think of that tastes sweet enough.” He doesn’t elaborate. Instead, he plants a kiss on my lips. A very hungry kiss. The restaurant dessert must have really sucked. But I’m not complaining.

  Our tongues tangle, taste, explore. The way he kisses me nearly makes me mad; I’m frantic with need. Luke reaches for my breasts and pinches my nipples through my camisole. They’re so tender and harden instantly at his touch. All I can think of is how much I love it when he does that … and wow, definitely that … and … God, I want him so bad.

  Without taking his mouth off of mine, he starts to pull my panties down, and I wiggle them the rest of the way off. I unbuckle his belt and work on bringing down his pants. When we’re both naked from the waist down, he doesn’t hesitate a minute. Instead, he pulls me up by my bottom and slams me against the door. It’s aggressive and so fucking arousing. I’ve only ever read about this and always questioned if it was in fact possible, but damn, it’s so happening. Right now. In my apartment.

  “God, I love feeling you against me,” Luke whispers in his roughed-up voice, breaking the mouth-to-mouth action. Then he reaches for his cock and finds his way into me. I can’t help but moan; that feeling of connection between us is pure ecstasy. We find our rhythm, and I’m going on a pretty good assumption here that he’s enjoying this dessert a lot more than the one at the restaurant.