Fast Forward

by Celeste O. Norfleet

“But what else am I supposed to do. Can you believe that I’m almost seven months pregnant with his third child, and he won’t even touch me anymore? Not since she died. It’s like he blames me or something. I didn’t do anything. I told him to leave her, but he’s the one who kicked her out of the house. I hate his ass. If I didn’t have all these kids by him, I’d leave him.”

  “Then you should leave him,” her friend prompted.

  “And do what, go back to working at the gas station? No thanks. You know I think that the only reason he even comes home during the week at night is because of little Miss Shit. I swear, she’s still walking around here like she owns the house. I can’t stand her ass.”

  Okay, you know I’m cracking up smiling at this point. Serves her right, did she really think that my dad wasn’t going to do the same exact thing to her that he did to my mom? Duh? So stupid.

  “What am I supposed to do?” she asked, then started to cry again.

  “I don’t know, girl, but you need to step off the man’s back. He’s doing his best, ain’t he? You there, right? But you should leave him,” her friend said.

  “He promised to marry me, now he’s backing off on that. Talking about he doesn’t want to upset Kenisha. Little Miss Shit, that’s just bullshit. I’m so tired of his shit. He needs to start treating me like I’m his woman and not some piece of ass he picked up someplace.”

  Through the receiver there was this real loud noise like a door slamming in the background and a man’s voice was calling out. “Listen girl, I gotta go,” her skank girlfriend said quickly. There was a muffled noise like she was trying to cover the phone’s mouthpiece or take it off loudspeaker.

  “Who’s that?” Courtney asked. “What the…I know that’s not…”

  Okay, my mouth dropped open, too. I swear I could have sworn I heard my dad’s voice in the background telling girlfriend on the phone that he was home and wanted to get sexed up.

  “Who the hell is that?” Courtney yelled.

  “It ain’t nobody you know, so stop trippn’. I told you I met this guy a while back, remember. Besides, your man is with little Miss Shit, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah, you right,” Courtney said, calmer but still agitated. “See, he got me trippin’ on you now. So who is he?”

  “I’ll talk to you later. I gotta go. See ya.”

  Courtney’s friend hung up the phone. I heard Courtney blow her nose and was just about to go in and tell her what my dad said. “Bitch-heifer, I know that’s my James over there,” she muttered to herself.

  Seeing Courtney was like seeing my mom all over again. She was sitting on the bed with her back to me. I glanced around quickly. The place was a mess. The bargain-basement cheap furniture looked like crap. Added to that, clothes were tossed and scattered everywhere. The bed was dirty and unmade and smelling like I have no idea.

  “Courtney,” I said quickly, happily, feeling better than I felt in a while.

  She turned quickly, startled to see me. She actually jumped and looked at me, then the phone. I know she was wondering what I heard. So I just smiled like I do to drive her nuts. “What? Where’s your dad?”

  I shrugged. “He said he’d be late. He had some one to do.”

  “What?” she screamed.

  “He said he had something to do,” I said, changing the word one to thing.

  She glared at me, her usual look, and hissed. “Don’t you have something to do, other people to piss off?”

  I just smiled and headed to my bedroom. I heard her crying all over again. Okay, yeah, a small part of me was feeling bad. Here the woman, almost seven months pregnant, not much older than me, was sitting crying because my dad was doing to her the same thing he did to my mom. But seriously, did she really expect he’d be faithful to her? Did she really think that she was the only one, even before all this happened?

  three

  Wait, I’m Not Done Yet

  “I guess the more I learn about people, the less I really know. So when does the learning catch up with the knowing? When do people show who they really are?”

  —MySpace.com

  I walked into my bedroom and closed and locked my door. I learned a while ago that those two boys of Courtney’s like to barge into bedrooms. They did that to me once. I don’t think it’ll happen again. I dropped my book bag and plopped down on the bed. This is the only room in the house that had seriously nice furniture. Dad went all out spending all kinds of cash on my bedroom when I moved back in to go to school during the week. I know that pissed Courtney off.

  When my mom left my dad, she took everything. I mean everything—even the doors off the hinges and the lightbulbs out of the sockets. When he brought Courtney here to live in my house, he had to start over from scratch. My mom put mostly everything in storage. Now that she’s dead, I know where everything is—furniture, clothes, jewelry, computer files. Hell, I even know where the skeletons are. Of course Jade and my grandmother know, too.

  My dad used to keep expecting me to return everything to the house, but I wouldn’t. He thought that the storage place was going to call wanting payment. What he doesn’t know is that my mom paid for two years. After that it’ll still be tight. ’Cause my mom’s insurance policy is seriously plump. She put away a ton of cash for me and Jade and grandmom.

  As soon as I lie back on my bed my cell rings. I looked at the caller ID. It was LaVon, so I closed my eyes, ignored him and let it ring. When it stopped I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. There was this little piece of tape still stuck up there from when I was twelve or thirteen years old. I taped a picture of Nelly on the ceiling so that I would see him as soon as I woke up every morning.

  I had a serious crush. Thank God that was over. I stared at the tape while my mind wandered. It was something about what Mrs. Hanover said that made me start thinking. She said that I needed to start acting like I wanted to be there. That’s just it. I wasn’t sure I did, but I didn’t know anyplace else to be.

  My cell rang again. It was LaVon, again. I answered. “What?”

  “Hey, Shorty, I was just thinking about you, what’ up?”

  “What do you want LaVon?” I asked dryly. I swear he never called me so much when we were actually supposed to be together as a couple. I always called him, and he always said that he was just about to call me, but he never did.

  “Is that how it is? You acting all mean still. Girl, you know you need to chill with all that. I said I was sorry. Chili is lying. That ain’t my kid. I swear.”

  “LaVon, it really doesn’t matter ’cause I don’t really care. Doesn’t that tell you something?” He didn’t answer. I guess he was trying to think. My patience for his stupid stuff was seriously burnt out. “I gotta go, you need to call Chili and start buying some baby clothes.”

  “See, it ain’t even about all that. I told you she lying.”

  “Whatever, I gotta go. Bye.” I closed my cell. His whole drama is too pathetic. I wondered what his boys would say about his sorry butt now.

  I lay back and closed my eyes. I know I wasn’t going to sleep because I wasn’t really tired. I just lay there with my eyes closed listening to myself breathing, waiting. I was thinking about my day. It was strange. I started thinking about the fight and how I just went off on Regan. Yeah, we didn’t get along and she called me a name but, hell, I called her so many names in the past I need to check and make sure I know her real name. So, I wondered why I went off on her like that. I guess I was mad, and she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  I was thinking about being mad when my cell rang. It was Jalisa and Diamond. We talked for a while then I told them that LaVon was trying to step up again. We laughed about that for awhile. Jalisa told us that she saw Chili hanging around school. She didn’t speak. No big surprise there. We were trying to figure out why she was all pissed off at us when we should be the ones pissed off at her.

  After all, she out and out lied to my face, snuck around behind my back with LaVon and tried to blame everything
on Diamond. If anyone should be upset, it should be me. But I wasn’t really—not about that drama anyway.

  “So where did you go after school? We stopped by your locker and you never showed up,” Diamond said.

  “You will not believe this. Mrs. Clarkson and my dad put their heads together and got me an appointment with a shrink. I left school early and had a session with him.”

  “What did he say?” Jalisa asked.

  “How did it go?” Diamond added.

  “I wasn’t about to be talking to some old guy. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with me.”

  “Except that you’re always mad,” Jalisa said.

  “I am not,” I insisted.

  “Yes you are, Kenisha, and you know it. But we understand. I was pissed when my grandfather died,” Diamond said.

  “And I’m still pissed about Brian. Why in the world would he start smoking crack? I swear I still don’t get it. Now we have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. My sister, Natalie, said that she thought she saw him about a month ago in D.C.”

  “For real?” Diamond asked.

  “Yeah, but she wasn’t sure. I just don’t get it, and yeah, I’m still pissed at him.”

  “Yeah, but I’m not pissed. I’m fine.”

  “Kenisha,” Diamond said.

  “Come on girl, denial much, you know you mad,” Jalisa added.

  “I am not mad,” I said firmly.

  “Fine, whatever, it looked mad to me,” Jalisa said.

  “I’m not mad,” I repeated.

  “I’m not talking about you,” Jalisa said. “I’m talking all those weave tracks in the hall and in the trashcan at school.”

  “Ohhh, that was too much. Did y’all see that trash can? It was filled with fake hair. You know Regan’s mad now,” Diamond said laughing. We all broke up laughing by this time.

  Regan wasn’t exactly Miss Congeniality at school. That’s why nobody really liked her except her clique. She thinks she’s cute and she slings that weaved-in hair around all over the place, acting like it’s hers. Everyone knew it wasn’t. One time somebody actually cut some off in the back. She had the weird square thing going on in the back of her head. She didn’t know about it until her girls told her. She was too pissed. The next day she said that it grew back overnight. Oh, please.

  So we laughed about that some more then talked about homework assignments. Since none of us had classes together, we just talked in general about the classes and assignments. After a while we decided to get some homework done. I had a lot of catching up to do. Diamond and Jalisa offered to stop by and help, but I told them that I could do it. So we hung up, and I got busy.

  Three hours later I had gone through my chemistry, English, U.S. history and French assignments. I had so much work to catch up on. I just started at the end and worked my way back. I opened my trigonometry book and started flipping through the pages. Since I’d only been half paying attention in class I seriously needed help with the assignments so I wrote myself a reminder to stay after school tomorrow. Next I grabbed the book for English lit class. It was Lysistrata. It was written in 411 B.C. I got halfway through the first page and fell asleep.

  I woke up an hour later. My cell was buzzing. It was Jalisa. “Hey.”

  “We’re on our way over. Meet us outside.”

  It was early and I had gotten a lot of homework done, so I decided that I deserved a break. We went to the mall. Diamond drove. We walked around a little, but since none of us was sporting the kind of cash we used to have over the summer, we just hung out at the food court.

  “So you gonna see the shrink again?” Diamond asked out of the blue. I shrugged. “I think you should.” I looked at her like she was nuts. “Seriously, sometimes you just need to talk.”

  “I thought that’s why I had y’all as my girls,” I said.

  “Yeah, you got us,” Diamond said.

  “But we’re biased. We your girls. What the hell do we know?” Jalisa added.

  I could tell they had already talked about this. But I wasn’t in the mood to get all dramatic about it, so I just changed the subject. “I heard Gayle Harmon’s coming back to Freeman. She might be teaching a class.”

  “Seriously, for real? Who told you that?” Diamond said.

  “No wait, for real? Jade told you, right?” Jalisa added.

  I laughed. Seeing Jalisa and Diamond’s eyes all wide and bright was funny. They were seriously starstruck ever since I told them that my sister Jade and Gayle had me dancing with them making up steps for Tyrece’s new video. Although it was on the down low for everybody else, they knew that Jade and Tyrece were engaged—and that I had the 411 when it came to information.

  “Nope, Jerome told me,” I said.

  “Jerome? Jerome who? We don’t know no Jerome,” Jalisa said.

  “Yes, we do. Jerome Tyler.”

  “You mean, Li’l T?” Diamond asked. I nodded.

  “Are you kidding me,” Jalisa said. “You got me all excited over something Li’l T said. Girl, please, you know that boy can’t get anything right. He’s a kid. What is he, six?”

  I laughed. Li’l T was small for his age, and people were always getting on him about something he thought he heard. He had a way of hearing sensitive information that nobody else knew. “No, seriously, that’s what he told me. I was at my grandmother’s house last weekend, and he told me that he overheard Ms. Jay in her office talking about it.”

  “Maybe he got it right this time,” Diamond said.

  “Please, Li’l T getting something right? He doesn’t have a clue,” Jalisa insisted. “Y’all listening to that fool. He probably heard Ms. Jay ordering a pepperoni pizza.” We broke up laughing. Jalisa always did that to us. She would say outrageous stuff and get us laughing.

  After that we started talking about everything: dance class, when we were in elementary school, parties, guys, movies, clothes, school. The conversations shifted so fast that anyone listening might have thought we were crazy. Then these four guys came and sat at the table next to us. They checked us out and we looked at them, but that was as far as it was going. We all knew it. So we did what we usually did to shoo flies away.

  The three of us had been taking French since grade school. We were good, real good. So when we kinda suspected that someone was listening in on our conversation, we started speaking French. It usually threw people off. The four guys sat a while trying to figure out what was going on, and then they eventually walked away. We burst out laughing, of course.

  “Come on. I gotta get my mom’s car back,” Diamond said.

  We started walking back through the mall. On our way out we saw LaVon and some of his friends. Without saying a word, we took a serious detour before he saw us. The last thing I needed was his drama. So we were walking through the parking lot, and we saw Chili’s car. Jalisa and Diamond looked at me. “I don’t even want to hear it.”

  “You know she coming back to school for good, don’t you?”

  “When?” I asked.

  “I thought she got transferred,” Jalisa said.

  “I heard she was coming back Monday.”

  I didn’t say anything. First almost running into LaVon and then finding out that Chili would be back in school. That was enough for me. Diamond and Jalisa changed the subject, thankfully. They started talking about getting together and helping me with some of my class assignments. None of us had classes together, but we did have some of the same teachers. We made a plan to crash over at Jalisa’s house the following night. It would be Friday, so it was perfect. After that I could keep right to my grandmother’s house in D.C.

  By the time I got to my dad’s house, I was tired—but in a good way. We laughed too much and ate too much at the mall. We had a cheeseburger, a hot dog, loaded cheese fries, a salad and a cookie. Everything was always split into thirds. Hanging out with Diamond and Jalisa always made me feel better no matter what drama I was dealing with. I couldn’t imagine not hanging with them. We were best friends forever
. We knew each other’s pain and joy, and none of that mattered. We always promised that we’d be best friends through thick and thin, no matter what.

  I walked in the house and heard talking in the dining room. I figured everybody was eating dinner. I wasn’t hungry so I decided to keep up to my bedroom and do some more studying. Plus, I was determined to figure trig out. I got halfway up the stairs when I heard my name.

  “Kenisha,” my dad called out.

  I sighed heavily, came back downstairs and went into the dining room. “Yes?”

  “Can’t you speak when you come in the house?”

  “Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb. Hi, Dad, Courtney, Banana-head, Coconut-head.” I had nicknames for the boys that changed daily. The boys laughed and began arguing who was which name.

  “Jr., Jason, eat your food,” Courtney snapped sharply.

  “Where were you?” my dad asked.

  “I went to the mall with Jalisa and Diamond.”

  “I thought you had homework to do,” he continued.

  “I did homework all afternoon. All I need to do now is study. That’s what I was gonna do when you called me in here.”

  “Are you hungry? Courtney fixed spaghetti for dinner.”

  I looked at the red mush sitting in the plastic Tupper-ware bowl. It looked like brain surgery gone bad. I tried not to look disgusted, but, for real, the stuff made me feel nauseated. “No thanks, we ate at the mall.” Yuck, I swear I may never eat anything red again.

  “Why don’t you get a plate and join us,” he said.

  “Nah, I’m okay, for real,” I said.

  “Well, have a seat. I want to talk to you.”

  I sat down and noticed that Courtney never even looked up at me. She was in her mad mood as usual. “Courtney, why don’t you get Kenisha a plate and a fork?”

  “She said she’s not hungry, James,” she hissed.

  “I gotta study.” I said standing and taking a step back. There was no way I was eating that stuff. I looked at the bowl again, then at the boys. They were watching me and making the same face I did. I chuckled seeing them.