by Layla Silver
Was it supposed to hurt like this? Because just thinking about it made my heart feel shattered already, and I had no idea how I would deal with it when the time actually came. It was difficult even to have an idea of what Lincoln’s love could feel like and then have it taken away. He was not the type of man you just walked away from unaffected. I knew that from experience; I had already tried to forget him once.
Spoiler alert, I was still trying.
“Why do you smell so good?” Lincoln murmured into my neck, making me chuckle and momentarily forget my sad thoughts.
“You smell even better,” I said, turning to face him when he loosened his hold on me a little bit.
He gave me a wolfish grin. “Really? What exactly do I smell like? I always thought it was diesel and grease.”
I laughed and placed my hand against his chest before replying.
“You smell like you; I don’t know how else to explain it, but it’s a combination of everything that I like about you. And it’s good."
"So you like diesel and grease, got it," he said with a serious face.
"No, don't put words in my mouth!" I laughed, punching his arm.
"Okay, what would you like me to put in it then?" He wiggled his brows, and I rolled my eyes.
"You have no sexy talk skills whatsoever."
He kissed my neck, making me moan. "Are you sure?" he whispered against my skin.
I nodded and gasped when he bit my earlobe gently.
"If you say so," he whispered again, his hand moving to my breast.
"Kiss me," I demanded, but he put some space between us.
"Why?"
"Because I like your kisses. And I take it back. You have lots of skills."
Lincoln laughed and kissed me, and then we made out like a couple of teenagers until our stomachs growled.
"You can shower, I'll bring you breakfast," he said, then gave me one last kiss.
I mourned the loss of his warmth but got up anyway because my stomach demanded it.
"I heard you, your highness," I mumbled and rubbed my belly.
I first washed my hair then just stood under the warm spray for a few minutes, enjoying the water. It was one of the things I loved about Lincoln's place. Unlike my old apartment, there was always warm water available here. And he had installed a solar system which could be switched to electricity during winter. Which meant that as long as there was sunshine outside, I could enjoy as much water as I wanted without worrying about wasting power.
"Are you still alive in there?" Lincoln called from the door.
I shut down the water and looked at my wrinkled hands, which meant I had been in the shower for longer than I thought.
"Just a second," I answered, then took a towel to wrap around myself and a smaller one for my hair.
I laughed when the bigger towel wouldn't quite close around my stomach.
"I think I need bigger towels!" I called out, removing the one I had on and putting it on the railing to dry.
Lincoln looked at me as I walked into the room naked, and I winked at him.
"You might want to close your mouth before something flies in," I teased, walking to the closet and grabbing a large shirt.
"What's wrong with your towels?" he finally asked, following my every move as I dressed.
I would have felt self-conscious if he hadn't been looking at me like he wanted to take me to bed all day long.
"My tummy is getting bigger," I explained.
"Yeah, I noticed. It looks good on you," he said sincerely.
"I think that's just a guy thing."
"It's a Lincoln thing," he countered. "You always look good to me."
Knowing Lincoln, I knew that he meant every word, which made me feel all warm inside. It gave me hope that maybe we could be more than people enjoying each other's bodies. Maybe we could make this work.
"So, what's for breakfast?" I asked as I walked to the bed, changing the subject.
He put the tray in front of me.
"Greens for breakfast, really?" I narrowed my eyes at him, and he laughed.
"Just eat. I swear you’re like a child sometimes when it comes to healthy food."
"Where’s yours?" I asked because there were only one plate and one glass of juice on my tray.
"I had some cereal while I was cooking," he replied. "And I need to go for a run now, but I'll be back in an hour."
I dug into my omelet and nodded, wondering where he was getting the energy from. I felt really drained and just wanted to nap for a little while. Then wake up and make love to Lincoln again. Maybe by the time he returned, I'd be ready to go again.
"You need anything before I go?"
Just you, I thought, but I shook my head. Lincoln smiled and went out, and seconds later, I heard the front door close. I finished my food then went to the kitchen to wash my plate. And on my way back, I passed by the nursery and just stood at the door for a few minutes.
Lincoln was doing an amazing job, and I'd never get tired of seeing how creative he was. He was incredible with his hands, and I couldn't wait to see the finished room. I didn't want the baby to be all he brought back from the clinic; I wanted us to come back together. I desperately wanted to hold his child and know that it was ours. I wanted us to take turns waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. All the noise, and diaper changes and the baby's firsts; I wanted to experience every little thing. And give my child everything I had missed out on while I was growing up.
My hand went to my belly, and I hoped the baby knew that I wanted nothing more than to stay.
"I think I'm falling in love with your daddy," I whispered, confiding in the most trustworthy person I knew.
Even though I wasn't trustworthy at all because I had just lied to the baby. I didn't think I was falling in love with Lincoln at all.
I knew it.
Chapter 17 - Lincoln
I swore and wiped my eyes as the tears spilled over, earning a laugh from Dakota. I looked at her through my stinging eyes, and for the millionth time, she took my breath away. For the first time in my life, I felt at home, and she was the reason.
"You look really adorable," she said in between giggles, resting her hands on top of her belly. "Maybe I should do it?"
I shook my head and smiled. I didn't want her doing a thing. I loved spoiling her, and I felt like I would never get tired of it. It wasn't that she was pregnant; it was just her in general. The look on her face whenever I did something nice for her. She looked at me like I was everything she ever wanted, and it broke my heart that her family hadn't given her the world. Who wouldn't want to put a smile on that beautiful face, I wondered? Whenever Dakota smiled, it was so honest, and it lit up her entire face.
I loved the twinkle in her eyes when she laughed, and I loved how attentive she was when I talked. I loved the sound of her voice early in the morning, heavy with sleep but still sweet, and I loved her bad singing as she cleaned the house. I loved her scent. It was like it was genetically engineered to make my Bear spin around in circles, and I loved her taste on my tongue. I loved how tiny her hands looked on top of her large belly, and how perfectly she fit in my arms. And I loved how we completed each other, how she was so strong and so hopeful despite everything she had been through.
I loved her.
The thought hit me so suddenly that my heart stopped for a second. I loved this woman. I wanted her to stay right where she was forever, in this home that I had built for her without even knowing it. My mate, my wife, and the mother of my child. We had been brought together in such a unique way, and I loved our crazy beginning. My only regret was the time we had spent apart, but thankfully life had had other plans and brought us together again. I felt my Bear's feelings wash over me. We were finally on one page; this was the mate we had been waiting for. We were finally home.
But how would I even begin to explain to her all that I was feeling? As much as Dakota lit up my world, she had turned me down once and pushed me away. Did we even want
the same things? Maybe things were going on well right now, but what if that was all it was for her? Just two adults enjoying each other. I couldn't bear to hear her say no. It would break me in a way that my divorce never could. Because then I had lost something that had been. Losing Dakota would be losing something wonderful that could have been. I would always wonder, but never have answers.
"I’m beginning to think you hate my cooking," she said with a raised brow.
"Not true," I laughed, coming back to the moment. "I just love feeding you."
"Hmm, good thing you do it so well then. Even though my pizza is probably going to be all peppers, onions, and tears."
She laughed again, and the happy emotion that she was exuding wrapped around me like a warm blanket. That was new, I thought. I could sense and smell when she was turned on. I could even sense when she wasn't feeling her best or was feeling sad. But I had never felt her emotions so strongly before. It meant my Bear was becoming more in tune with Dakota than I thought, which was something reserved for mates only.
Thinking of my Bear reminded me that Dakota still didn't know about this huge part of my life. Being my mate meant that she had to accept me in human form as well as my shifter form. It was all or nothing, and I had no idea whether she knew about me being a shifter. Sure, the surrogacy agency specialized in shifter pregnancies, but I didn’t know whether they told the surrogates that, as well. Dakota hadn’t made any indication that she knew that I was a Bear, and if she indeed didn’t know, I had no idea how she would take it. We rarely mixed with humans for a reason. It was too much for them to accept the shifter life. Just imagining the look of horror on her face as she saw my shifter form was too much to bear, and I put the knife down and clenched my fists as my claws lengthened.
"Are you alright?" Dakota asked, her playful look morphing into one of concern.
I turned to the sink and quickly washed away the blood that I had drawn from my hands. I watched my palms heal under the water and took a deep breath to calm myself. My nails returned to normal, and I breathed in relief.
"I'm fine," I finally said, forcing a smile when I looked at her again. "I think that's enough onions for today."
Dakota looked like she didn't believe me for a second, but luckily didn't push the issue. I spread the ingredients on the store-bought pizza base then put it in the oven before pouring Dakota a glass of milk. She wrinkled her nose and pushed the glass away.
"I think the baby is lactose intolerant," she said, making me laugh.
"I'm sure he is. Good thing he can still eat cheese and ice-cream, not to mention the tub of yogurt that's in the fridge," I said.
"I don't make the pregnancy rules," she said while batting her lashes at me, her hands underneath her chin.
I scoffed. "But you sure do bend them."
"Hey, it's your child, remember?"
Yours, too, I wanted to add. But I kept my mouth shut and walked around to where Dakota was sitting. I put my arms around her and kissed her neck gently.
"Hmm, what’s that for?" she said with a happy sigh.
"That is for drinking your milk and following your nutrition chart," I replied, upping my game and making my kisses longer.
"If you put a little chocolate in it," she bargained.
I shook my head and sucked on the exposed skin of her shoulder.
"Some sugar, maybe?"
"This is all the sugar you need," I countered, blowing on the mark I had left on her skin.
Dakota trembled in my arms and smiled. "That's so cheesy."
"Uh-huh, and you love cheese."
"True," she said, then turned her head for a kiss.
I moved away, and pushed the glass towards her, earning a pout. I mouthed the word 'drink,' and she rolled her eyes but drank the whole glass in one go.
"Happy now?" she asked, giving me a playful glare.
I took her face in my hands and showed her just how happy I was with a kiss.
"I would have done it for free," she grinned when I finally broke the kiss.
"You play me all the time, don't you?" I said, realizing a pattern that I always fell for.
"Not at all," she said all too innocently.
"Hmm, thanks for enlightening me. Next time, no milk, no kiss at all."
Dakota laughed and stood up. "Let me clean up while you wait for your pizza."
"I can do that. Don't you have some reading to do?"
"After I clean. Or else you'd be contributing to my laziness."
"You can clean up after lunch," I promised her, giving her a kiss on the forehead and turning her away from the sink. "Off you go."
"Don't say I never offered," she said as she walked out, making me laugh.
I cleaned up and took out the pizza when it was done, putting it on a platter and covering it before leaving it on the table. The afternoon sun was scorching when I finally made it outside. I placed my tools on the porch and put on my gloves.
I made quick work of doing my measurements and marking where the boards would go. I brought the wooden planks from the shed and cut them to equal lengths before setting them up. It took me an hour and a half to set them up, and I tested their strength. I took in the work I had done so far with the movable playpen on the porch. I smiled as I thought of the baby playing inside where I could keep an eye on him while I worked. Little cubs could be so much trouble when they started to explore, and I was trying to baby proof the house as much as I could. Now the porch was almost ready for baby Pierce, and he could bring on his worst. I was ready for him. Poor Dakota was going to have her hands full; she had no idea what was coming.
There I go again, I thought, thinking of Dakota being by my side and raising our child. I was so far gone it was hopeless, and I had to tell her. I tried to think of the perfect way of telling her everything while I took out the gloss finish for the wood. I couldn't just say, 'Dakota, will you be my mate?' or 'Stay with the baby and me,' which was pretty much the range of my romantic vocabulary. And my Bear was being of no help whatsoever. All he thought of was getting Dakota naked all the time and laying his head on her large belly to listen to the baby. My thoughts were just serving to irritate him because he seemed pretty confident that Dakota was mine and here to stay. I supposed I should trust my instincts. I hadn't made a fool of myself in front of her so far.
The sound of screeching tires startled me out of my thoughts, and I turned around quickly.
"What the hell?"
Who the heck was this idiot, and what was he thinking driving onto my land like that? Where was the fire? I walked forward while a lanky man exited the car as soon as it came to a stop.
"Where is Dakota?" he demanded.
The man smelled faintly like Dakota, although his scent was distorted with something foul. There was only one relative of hers that fit the profile, and even though I had never seen the man, I instantly knew that this was the infamous George Daniels.
"You are trespassing on my property," I said calmly, taking off my gloves.
"I had her phone tracked to this address, so I know she’s here somewhere," he said, ignoring my warning. "So she's been shacking up here, huh? And the little tramp told me that she didn't have any money!"
I clenched my fists and felt my nails cut through my palms. I was trying to reign in my anger, and if this man said one more thing about Dakota, I wouldn't be able to control my Bear.
"This is my house, and as I said, you are trespassing on my territory."
His nostrils flared in anger, and he pointed at me. "Who are you, and where are you hiding her? I'll have you know that she is my niece. I have the right to take her home!"
"Sir," I said calmly, my voice laced with warning. "You should leave. Now would be a good time to do that."
I knew exactly what he was going to do when he narrowed his red eyes and bared his teeth. The sound of his shifting bones filled the space, and in seconds, a rabid looking Wolf stood before me. He was ugly and mean-looking, and his eyes were focused on me with clearly one th
ing on his mind. Attack. My Bear burst out, shifting fast with only one thing in mind as well. To protect Dakota.
George jumped with paws raised, swiping across my side and causing me to groan in pain. His claws were sharp, and they had cut into me deeply. He hit me in the side with his head, trying to make me trip and fall. He was fast, that was clear, and my size didn't intimidate him. He probably underestimated me, though, and I unleashed all of my anger on him with an attack of my own.
I hit him across the head as he jumped again, catching him mid-air with my large paw. I used all of my strength to strike him down, pushing him down like he was a basketball. He fell to the ground with a loud thud and whined like a little dog. I ran towards him and sank my fangs into his neck, shaking him sideways and throwing him across the yard. His blood tasted bitter and filthy, which made me want to wretch.
I watched as he got to his feet and ran towards me, dodging my paw and sinking his claws into my wounded side again. I tried to shake him off, but he held on, growling and biting me in the side. The pain almost blinded me, and I spun in circles, trying to shake him off. His claws dug deeper into my side, and I felt my blood running down my fur. My mind turned in panic. I couldn't let this bully get the upper hand. I had to protect Dakota and our child. I had to tell her that I loved her. I had to tell her ...
My Bear shut me out as he threw himself to the ground, effectively trapping the Wolf between himself and the ground. Then my world became dark.
Chapter 18 - Dakota
I was just coming out of the shower and drying my hair when I heard the animal sounds outside. It sounded like they were trying to tear each other apart, and a feeling of dread washed over me. I quickly threw on a dress and rushed to the door to see what was going on. I gasped when I saw the large Bear and the mangy looking Wolf engaged in a heated fight.