Begin Where We Are

by Knightley, Diana

  And it had.

  She had lived it through.

  Once I killed Donnan, Bella wanted tae have me locked up here, tae wait until I was called upon. But I wouldna wait anymore. Killing Donnan would give me the right tae own the vessels. I would take all of them and disappear intae the past. I would go tae Kaitlyn. I would try verra hard tae get there before she decided tae live without me. I buckled on my sporran. It was as empty as my life now.

  Kaitlyn

  Lady Mairead’s voice came to me through the covers that were pulled tight around my head. Only my face peeking out, facing the door, trying to keep my eyes closed but also wanting to be alerted when that man showed back up.

  “Explain tae me how ye came tae be in Donnan’s bed?”

  Her eyes were furious.

  “Please, help me.” I scrambled up to sitting and clasped my hands. “Please. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know why I’m here. I found one of the vessels and woke up here. He’s holding me captive, and this—” I gestured toward a slice on my left cheek. “I woke up and this was here.” The cut scared the hell out of me when I used the bathroom. My cut matched Lady Mairead’s scars. “He’s a monster. You have to help me.”

  “He,” Lady Mairead said imperiously, “is Magnus’s father. And ye will kindly quit your speakin’ on the matter. Your presence complicates things verra much.”

  She exhaled angrily. “But perhaps now Magnus will see how ye are always conniving tae get what ye want.”

  “Magnus is here?” My hands still clasped I begged, “Please tell him I’m here. Please.”

  “Magnus daena want tae ken this about ye, Kaitlyn. He isna interested in hearing that ye are naked and have bedded his father. I assure ye.” She inhaled deeply and let out a burst. “And ye are scarred on your face. He winna want tae see it. Tis verra complicated tae find ye here.”

  “Please. Just tell him. Let me talk to him.”

  “He winna want tae speak tae ye, anyway. Tis nae matter tae him. He has taken a lovely young mistress and I daena think he considers ye at all.”

  I collapsed in a naked ball on the bed and sobbed into the bedding.

  She huffed.

  After a long moment she said, “You are bleeding on the bedclothes. I will speak with Donnan about letting me return ye tae the Island. This favor though will require a promise from ye that this will end our relationship. I have been journeying, collecting artifacts, building wealth for Magnus’s ascension, and I daena want tae keep dealing with the trivial matters of a young woman who will nae take no for an answer. Did Magnus nae leave ye after you lost his child? Tis unseemly tae chase him to his father’s house. Though I rather respect your commitment to his fortune.”

  I wailed, “That’s not what this is!”

  “Yes, well, as a woman I can see ye are verra much regretting being here. I winna tell Magnus that I have found ye, he has already replaced ye with a more capable woman. I will allow him tae keep the untarnished memory of ye in the long ago past. But if I arrange your safe passage away ye will have tae keep away or I will tell Magnus what I found here, what you have done.”

  She stormed from the room.

  * * *

  I guess it could be called sleeping. It was a lot more like passing out. I had checked the whole room, every surface, every drawer I could access. It had been a fast scrabble and I had been squinting, opening my eyes just barely. Peering around then slamming them shut again. The light made it feel like my retinas were burning.

  I couldn’t find anything. Nothing for a weapon. The door was locked. The bathroom was bare. A toilet in bidet style. A small hand towel that looked used. The thought made me gag. He had touched it? His stinking filthy raping hands had been on this towel?

  Then I collapsed until something woke me. I forced my eyes open to the same blaring terrible painful light. Lady Mairead’s voice coming through the walls, “—Do you know who that is?”

  A man’s voice, probably Donnan’s, “Of course I know who it is — she told me when she was begging me to let her go last night.“ His chuckle sent chills up my spine.

  “This is a very dangerous game you’re playing. Let me take her away. I’ll take her to Florida, leave her, return with the vessel. Then you’ll have them all and I’ll be rid of her again.”

  “Certainly not.” His voice had an air of joviality to it. “Mairead, what would you have me do? Return a gift? She was sent to me too perfect to refuse. I think Magnus will be better controlled if faced with the woman from his past.”

  “I don’t even think he misses her. I think you’re mistaken on this.”

  “Doesn’t matter if he wants her or not, he won’t want me to have her. He won’t like how I’ve cut her pretty face. And I need him to be ready to fight. My brother, Samuel, has decided to kill him in the arena. Samuel is very lethal. He has never lost a battle.”

  “You should let Magnus heal first—”

  “Don’t tell me my business, Mairead. I will not stand for more interference. You mean to advise me? I am the king, how dare you — and what are you?”

  His question was met with silence.

  “Exactly. You are only Magnus’s mother, nothing more. I let you live here because you fill my coffers.”

  “He will kill you.”

  “He is imprisoned. He kills who I tell him to kill. My enemies lie dead at his feet. He kneels at mine. If Magnus dies, I’ll make the man who killed him kneel, and I will mourn for Magnus only for the amount of time it takes for that to happen.”

  “So she will stay here in your rooms during your Gala?”

  “Oh no Mairead, she will join me. Magnus will be there with his mistress. Samuel will be there, hoping to kill him. Would you like to be there, Mairead, to watch the fun?”

  * * *

  I sat up in bed in a complete fucking panic. I picked up the sheet that was the bottom layer of the bedding and felt along the edge for a good spot. Then I ripped, right down the middle. It ripped clean and easily until it reached the center. I stood up in the middle of the bed, adjusted my hold, and ripped it cleanly all the way to the end where it hitched for a moment. I yanked it clean through. I took the top half of the sheet and stuffed the ripped edge under the rest of the bedding to conceal it. Come on come on come on, he could walk in any moment. I stuffed the strip I had torn free under the bedding in a ball.

  I laid down and listened. Anything? No noise? Nobody coming?

  I pulled the bedding over my arms to cover what I was doing and tied knots on the ends and twisted the torn sheet for the full length of it until it was rope, not great rope, but rope all the same.

  Then I sat there with heaving breaths and considered whether I had the strength to strangle a man — and what would be the best position?

  I wanted something sharp. Needed something sharp. I jumped from the bed and listened at the door again. Every sound was too loud, buzzing, beeping, roaring noise from every quarter, but no voices, not near, not loud. I grabbed my hastily made rope and wound it around my fist while I entered the bathroom. I climbed up onto the counter on my knees with the full length of my naked body in the mirror, leaned against it, drew back my fist at waist height, and punched — crack! — a crack spread across the width of it. There was also a slice on my fourth knuckle that wasn’t bleeding, oh wait, yep, bleeding. But the mirror was now a shattered web of shards. I peeled one away. It was about four inches with a nice long angle. Sort of like a knife with enough of a base to catch in the fabric.

  The mirror was trashed. If Donnan went into the bathroom before he came to the bed I would be a dead woman.

  I jumped down from the counter and ran to the bed. Under the covers using only my fingers, I created a knot about midway down my rope, shoving the shard into the loop of it, and tied the knot twice around it.

  I balled the rope up to the side, with a tail near my fingers so I could find it in a struggle.

  Then I lay in the room and waited for Donnan to come to me.

  Magnu
s

  Bella and I were dressed for the occasion. She looked verra beautiful. Her dress wrapped her body in a blue color that was my favorite. It exposed much of her skin. My mind went tae Kaitlyn and what she would look like in it, but I forced the image away. Ever since I had taken Bella I was tryin’ nae tae think on Kaitlyn. Not here. This world was too far removed and too awful to bring her intae it.

  I couldna dream of being with Kaitlyn while I was imprisoned and killing men for entertainment. I couldna dream of being worthy of Kaitlyn when I had lain with another woman. I couldna. Twas nae up tae me tae dream on her. I had tae get home and then I had tae beg for her forgiveness.

  Bella stood with a long leg exposed and I strapped the gun to her inner thigh. When the folds of fabric fell across her lap they covered it, shimmering and shifting. I hoped that would be enough tae hide the weapon.

  Bella was quiet.

  She said, “Donnan has a way of — he’s very wicked. You will stick to the plan, right, My Magnus, no matter what? Even if you’re upset?”

  “Och aye, I will stick to the plan. What would I be upset about?”

  “I don’t know, rumors have it he — I don’t know, but don’t let him distract you.”

  The guards came and I was made tae stand and have my body checked for weapons, but she was nae checked at all.

  * * *

  We were led down the long hallways past the rooms. I counted again, but my memory of it was perfect. Once I killed him I would find my way to Donnan’s rooms. I would find a vessel and I would go tae Florida. I would get Kaitlyn and we would go tae the past. It was the only place tae hide. I just had tae get through this night.

  When we came to the doors of the Great Hall on the ground floor there was a great cacophony of voices inside.

  Bella asked, “Has Donnan arrived yet?”

  A guard answered her, “He has been delayed in his apartment.”

  “Oh, he’s privately entertaining,” Bella said. The doors on the Great Hall opened before us.

  Kaitlyn

  Donnan stood and appraised me, a lump under the covers, everything covered but my eyes. I squinted. I wanted to lay there and be ‘easy’ but the idea of him touching me made my stomach turn. I scrambled to sitting on the pillows, leaned on the headboard, as far away as I could get.

  “You’ll be attending me tonight at a dinner I have. I brought a dress for you, but now that I’ve seen you again, I’m of a mind to have some more of you.”

  I clamped my eyes closed and reminded myself to breathe.

  The sounds of him undressing echoed in my ears. My mind raced, could I, would I? Under the covers the loop of rope was in my grip. Could I?

  I had to be blank.

  I had to leave my body.

  I had to let his filthy disgusting hands reach under the covers for my ankles and pull me down the bed.

  I had to turn my head while his grotesque breath sounded in my ear and the monstrous weight of him settled on my body pushing me down, down, heavy down. He was big. He would fight me if I did it now. I had to wait until he was distracted by the moment until he was into me completely. So I kept my eyes closed while his shoulder blocked my view of the escape and went rigid when his hand grasped my skin and I waited for terrible long moments while he used me for his goddamn enjoyment and — fuck this guy.

  I whispered, “Let’s change positions, Donnan.”

  My words shocked him. His eyes had that glazed look. His disgusting brow was sweaty. His hands were gross. He rose up to let me get up. I pushed him to his side, grabbed the rope as he lowered to the mattress and tossed the loop of it around his neck.

  I wanted to be behind him, but I ended up on a side within aim of his right hand, but I yanked the rope anyway because I had to. I had to do it. There was no going back now. I closed the gap on the back of his neck as the realization of what I had done hit him full force. He elbowed me hard, but I held on. “Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.” I twisted the ropes twisting my arms as well and held on. He lowered, his hands grasping at the rope, so I jumped to standing using the bounce of the mattress to give me enough force to get the rope twisted, tighter and tighter. “Fuck you! Fuck YOU!!!!”

  His arms flailed and fought. His hand found my ankle and pulled me down. I landed on top of him, “Fuck you!” and forced myself back up and twisted more. “Fuck you, I hate you. I hate you! I hate you!”

  His hand flailed up and grabbed a wad of my hair and yanked, but I fucking held on. I held on, screeching, wanting to let go and be done with it, but I knew he died or I died. Someone in this fucking room was going to die and it wasn’t going to be me. “I hate you!”

  He bucked his back slamming me to the mattress, landing on me, ploughing his elbow into my side, but he was weaker now and my arms were closer to my chest giving me more strength. I pulled tighter and twisted more and opened my eyes enough to see the glass shard, useless right beside his throat, jabbed into a knot but not doing anything. He flailed for my hair again.

  He was weaker still but also more desperate. His elbow hit me in the ribs knocking my breath, but I held on as he bucked against me. My elbows on his shoulders, my knees around his back. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it, fuck you, I hate you, I hate you. Fuck. You!”

  I put both ends of the rope into my left hand and grasped the edge of the glass and shoved it into his neck. I screeched so loud I hurt my ears. A gush of blood covered us both and repulsed me so much I almost leapt away.

  My hatred, my fury made me hold tighter. “I hate you. I hate you.” I held the rope in both hands again and tightened it even more. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.”

  His arms stopped flailing and his hands went to his neck, trying to pull away the rope, or the shard or both or anything, and that’s when I began to cry. I begged, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, oh my god I’m sorry,” while I held on, waiting for him to die, feeling the life drain from him, skin to skin. I begged the universe for it to happen fast. And begged God for forgiveness for doing it. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  After long long moments I let go. The weight of him was on me and I shoved him off. I was covered in blood and I couldn’t stop screaming.

  Magnus

  The Great Hall was packed. I hadn’t considered how many people I would need tae speak tae. All eyes turned tae me as I walked in. I glanced at Bella and she was smiling widely.

  She began tae introduce me. “Magnus, this is Governor Georges. He’s been with Donnan for many years.”

  I shook his hand. “Magnus, a pleasure. You are the spitting image of your father he must be very proud. Your fighting in the arena has been spectacular. Well done!”

  “Thank you, Governor Georges.”

  I was introduced to another man. “Magnus, this is the war minister, Donahue.”

  “Nice tae meet ye, Minister Donahue.”

  Minister Donahue laughed. “Ye! He said, ‘ye!” What do ‘ye’ think Margaret, are ‘ye’ all hot and bothered by the young prince?”

  The woman beside him twittered and blushed and demurely put out a hand for me to kiss.

  Her husband winked. “I’m on your side, Magnus. My wife wouldn’t let me pick anyone else.” She blushed even more.

  One by one I was introduced to a room full of people while Bella kept her hand under my elbow, whispering in my ear, announcin’ with her actions that we were together.

  Towards the end of the introductions people began tae wonder at the lateness of Donnan. I asked, “What’s keeping him do you think?”

  There was something in Bella’s eyes — she glanced at the doorway at the end of the room. “It’s nothing for you to worry about. Just keep to the plan.”

  I asked, “Is that the stairwell up tae Donnan’s apartment?”

  She shook her head and looked away, but I already had the answer tae it.

  Lady Mairead came over a moment later. “Bella.” She nodded curtly. “Magnus, are ye healing well? You daena look verra vigorous; I thin
k ye may need tae lie down. You have met most everyone. I can—”

  Bella said, “He doesn’t need to lie down. He hasn’t met everyone yet, there is his uncle, Samuel. Let me introduce you.”

  As Bella waved for his attention, Lady Mairead said, “Magnus, be careful of him. He wants the throne and has declared his intention tae go through ye tae get it.”

  I took a breath.

  She shook her head. “Try tae look menacing or he may take his chance right now.” Then she immediately said, “Ah Samuel, so good of you tae be here at Donnan’s Gala.”

  The big man standin’ in front of me eyed me with much more menace than I could conjure in my weakened state.

  Bella interrupted, “Magnus meet—”

  Lady Mairead interrupted her. “Samuel, I would like ye tae meet your nephew, Donnan’s son, the next in line for the throne, Magnus—”

  Uncle Samuel said, “Yeah, yeah, Magnus Archie Colin Campbly, I get it. You’ve been raised to think you’re a king.” His chuckle was still more menacing. People around us stopped talking tae listen.

  I said, with as much charm as I could manage, “Until verra recently, Uncle, I dinna ken I was a future king, but I have taken tae the idea and for some of us it comes quite natural."

  Lady Mairead said, “Magnus, careful.”

  “You won’t be king. Where is Donnan anyway?”

  Lady Mairead said, “He’s busy.”

  “It’s like him to make us wait. I’ve asked to fight you tomorrow, Magnus, best be ready.”

  I projected my voice for the surrounding crowd. “I am always ready tae fight for my rightful place. Yet I wonder at your commitment? Have ye been fighting for the throne, challengin’ the other sons of Donnan? Did ye challenge your brother, Tanrick?”

  “No, I didn’t challenge Tanrick.“