For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “Please go sit down while I make myself a drink. We have to talk. I’ve made mistakes, too many of them, and they have to be rectified.” He walked away from me, going to the kitchen, and I found anger rising inside me.

  Instead of sitting down, I went to the bedroom, where I pulled off the ridiculous heels that had almost had me on my ass. The corset was tight as hell and I took that off too. No reason to keep on the fishnet stockings, so I took them off and put on a robe. When I turned around, Troy was standing there with a tall glass in his hand, just staring at me. The corners of his lips were pulled down into a frown and I hated the way he was looking at me. Disappointment lingered in his eyes. I disappointed him and I couldn’t understand why he felt that way.

  “Troy, if a man were to have done to me what that slut did to you, you’d have had them by their balls. So why is it that everyone is looking at me like I’ve committed a crime?” I went to sit on the bed, cross-legged, and waited for his answer.

  “Because you are my Sub. You aren’t my equal. And if I wanted to experience another, it is my right to. It’s also my right to turn her down on my own. It’s not your right. It’s a simple premise, Blyss. I won you. You do as I say and I hadn’t said a word to you about doing anything. You overstepped your bounds and broke the rules.”

  “She was being disrespectful to us both!” I threw my hands up in the air, trying to get him to see reason.

  “I admit, you could look at it that way. In this place, she wasn’t being disrespectful. Anywhere else, yes, she would be out of her mind to speak to me that way or look at me the way she did. Not here, though. Here, I am a dominating man who owns the woman with me—a woman who is to stay quiet unless I tell her she can speak. And no one ever allows their subs to fight with other women.”

  “Why not? Why can’t I fight for what’s mine?”

  “Because I am not yours.”

  “Then what was this last month about? You and I are more than Dom and Sub.”

  “Not here, we aren’t. And I told you that. I told you that you needed to be a spectator and not interact. That was so you could see how people act here. This isn’t a normal place where normal things happen. This is a BDSM club, Blyss, where some are in charge and others do as they say or they’re punished. You do know I’m expected to punish you for what you’ve done. Other men will ask me what I did to correct that behavior and I will be expected to give them information.”

  “I don’t see why you would be expected to tell anyone what you and I do in the privacy of our own apartment,” I huffed, exasperated by what was going on.

  “So they can learn from it. That’s what we do here. We share information so others can learn from it. As Doms, we discuss things in depth to become the best we can be.”

  The way he stood there, leaning against the door frame, was pissing me off. He wasn’t mad at me, yet he talked about punishing me because others expected it.

  “I don’t live my life according to what others expect or want. I live it on my own terms. One would think you, as a powerful man, would do the same. I just can’t see any need to be corrected for putting that bitch in her place. I’m not going to agree to any punishment.” I had said it, plain and simple. I wouldn’t go along with being punished for something I saw as the right thing to do. End of story.

  “I see.” Troy turned and walked away from me.

  I sat there for a long moment before I went to the living room to see what he was doing. I found him sitting there, staring at nothing. The glass he held hung in his hand as if it was about to fall.

  “Troy, you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Come on. Let’s go to bed.” I reached out for him, but he just shook his head.

  “We should leave. It was you who wanted to be here anyway. I didn’t want to come here. I knew you didn’t understand all the rules. I knew you would have trouble following them.” He pulled the glass to his lips and took a long drink.

  “Look, just tell the guys you spanked me and that I apologized. I want to stay. I really do. I’ll be quiet when we’re out there. I’ll do as you say. I want to see what that world is like. You know I want to write about it.”

  Putting the glass down, he took my hand and pulled me to sit down. “That world is about a lot of things you don’t want. Things like separating love from sex. Things like putting one person above another. It’s a place where the reality of everyone being equal is dissolved. In there, one person is the master and one the slave.”

  I didn’t want things to end. I wanted to understand things in that world, not only so I could write a thesis, but for myself as well. I climbed off the sofa and kneeled as I bowed my head. “I trust you, master. I want you to rule over me. I want to experience it all. If that means taking the punishment for something I feel wasn’t breaking any rules, then punish me. I’ve changed my mind. I will accept it because I want you to know that I give myself to you completely.”

  He took me by the chin and made me look at him. “I don’t even want that anymore. That’s something you want.”

  “You bought me to be yours. I want to know what that feels like. I still have no idea what it actually feels like to be ruled over. Teach me, master. Please.”

  I was hungry for something. Not sex with him or anyone else. It seemed I wanted to be pushed to do things I didn’t want to. I wanted to feel more, even if it meant being humiliated for standing my ground with a rival woman. If that was what BDSM was about, I wanted to experience it.

  But Troy was fast becoming soft with me, and I was missing out on what I was after because of it. I wasn’t sure if I should push him or not. His look was more than a bit despondent. I felt a chill around him. He wasn’t happy with me.

  “Blyss, I can be brutal. I can be heartless. You have no idea of the beast you’re provoking. I don’t want to treat you that way. I want to love and cherish you.” His eyes climbed into mine. “I want everything with you. Marriage, a family, the whole nine yards. I want to leave this behind me. Can you come with me and leave this all behind us?”

  What he said didn’t shake me. I knew what he wanted. He might not have said it all as crystal clear as he just had, but I was well aware that he wanted me to be with him forever. And I wanted that too. But I wanted to experience more before I went to that place with him. The little domesticated woman who would be by his side was within me, but so was a wild woman who was begging to come out and play. Only he wasn’t allowing it.

  I had begged him to torture my flesh, and he’d only given me what he thought I could take. I knew I could take more and wanted to reach my boundaries that hadn’t been close to being reached. I even wanted to know what it was like to have to watch the man who owned me do things to other women and make me accept it.

  My outburst at that other woman was because she initiated it all, disrespecting my man. The truth was, if Troy had initiated it, I’d have done as he wanted me to. But he didn’t want to take me to where I had come. He took me away from it as soon as he could. Now that we were back and it was time to teach me, he didn’t want to do that.

  “Troy, if you will put this side of you away for only one week and show me the true meaning of being a Sub, then I will leave here with you and we will put this lifestyle behind us. If that is what you really want. I came here to experience things. Give me what I came for, please. You didn’t come here to find a wife. You came for a Sub and you got one. Now do with me what you would with any normal sub.”

  “Put my love for you to the side?” He got up and threw his glass across the room. It shattered and fell on the hardwood floor.

  I was afraid. For the first time, I was afraid of him. My body trembled and I didn’t know what the hell to say. My head stayed down, as if I knew, instinctually, to cover my vulnerable areas. “Please, for one week, master.”

  The growl he made filled the entire room and shook my body. “I’m going to have you taken to one of those private rooms. I’ll have three men there witness your punishment for your actions tonight. I will
allow them each to strike you for disrespecting the sanctity of their club. That is what I would do to a Sub I cared nothing for. Is that what you want, Blyss?”

  “Yes, master.” I was scared to death and elated at the same time. He was going to treat me the way I had wanted from the beginning. I was about to find out what it felt like to be a real Sub.

  “Then I will take you down and shackle you, so you will have to watch me as I take another Sub. That is what I would do to a normal Submissive partner who thought she could run the show.” My blood ran cold. “Is that what you want, Sub?”

  I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth. I had just thought that was what I wanted. I had told myself if he wanted to fuck another woman, I’d accept it. I’d find it an experience I had never had. I knew Troy could mindlessly fuck. He’d done it to me. I knew emotion was the key to making love. Could I watch Troy, the man I had come to love, mindlessly fuck another Sub to prove he was the one in charge of everything and I was in charge of nothing?

  I gathered my courage. “Yes, master.”

  “Then you have set your fate, Sub. Wait by the door for someone to come and get you. Don’t move or say a word to me until I tell you to. You’re getting what you want. You’re going to be treated the way a person who chooses to be lower than another is treated. You are going to experience the entire thing. I don’t think you can handle it. The safe word is cherry. Don’t forget that word.” He walked toward the bedroom. “Take your place at the door, then.”

  After he had closed the door behind him, I went to the door and knelt the way he’d told me. I knew I could stop all of it with one word, but I didn’t want to. It was Troy’s savage side I had wanted to see, and I was about to get my wish. A niggling voice cropped up inside my head. Are you sure you want to coax this beast out in him, Blyss?

  Of course I was sure. I had thought about it a lot. I wasn’t making some rash decision. My life had been beyond bland up until I signed up to be a Submissive for a complete stranger. Thanks to taking the initiative to become something, instead of nothing, I had experienced a lot in a short amount of time.

  Now, you can add public beating to the list of experiences, Blyss. You must be so proud.

  That inner-voice was annoying. A real Miss Goody Two Shoes!

  I stopped breathing as the door opened and a man took me by the arm. It was only then that I realized I hadn’t taken off my collar or leash. He grabbed my leash and led me away without saying a word to me.

  We got to the end of the hallway, where the black door to the private rooms was, when I heard Troy calling out, “Sub, are you sure you want to go through with this?”

  The man who had my leash jerked it hard, making me stumble. “Answer your Dom, Sub!”

  “Yes, master.” I caught sight of Troy as he stood just outside the apartment door. His head fell and he went back inside.

  My heart was banging in my chest. It was only then that I realized that I was hurting him with what I wanted. But if I gave into him, I would deny myself the very thing I came for. Moving forward, I let the man take me to one of the dark rooms. He removed my robe, leaving me naked. My collar and leash were left on as I was strung up, facing a red-painted wall. A dim yellow light was all that lit the room and it looked ghastly.

  A set of shackles hung across the room from me. It was there I’d be taken after I was whipped. It was from there that I’d have to watch Troy fuck another woman. My arms were tied, outstretched, then the same was done to my legs. I was unable to move. I’d been tied so tightly, anchored to that cold wall. The room was frigid—maybe thirty-five degrees. I was shivering and my teeth were chattering. The man who brought me there left me alone. I had no idea it would be so cold. I also had no idea how long I’d be left that way.

  I figured Troy would leave me for a while, hoping I’d decide not to go through with it. As I waited, I tried not to think about anything. It was something I wanted to do. Something I could keep in my memory box about the time I really went wild. The one and only time. I had to make it count. Troy had many plans for us in the future, and none of them included anything like what was about to happen to me. I heard the door open, then close. The loud sound of the lock made a lump form in my throat. I couldn’t speak, it seemed.

  My hair was pulled, making me look back. It wasn’t Troy. It was some man in a mask. “You need to be properly trained and your Dom hasn’t done it in an entire month.”

  “Did he send you?”

  “No, he did not. I’m here because I saw the trainer bring you in here and I wanted to get a shot at you without your soft-hearted Dom around. He’s done nothing for you. I had high expectations for you. I bid on you, too, and lost to the man who’s ruined you.”

  “I don’t think I’ve been ruined by him. He just fell in love with me, is all. He’s not a bad guy. He’s anything but a bad man. He’s wonderful actually.”

  “Yet he didn’t teach you the smallest of rules. Sit down, shut the fuck up, and allow your Dom to do whatever he wants.” His lips pressed against the back of my neck as he shoved my head back up.

  “If he didn’t give you permission for this, you’re really fucking up. He loves me and knows I’ll accept anything he has to give me, but from you, I refuse to accept a thing. Walk away now and I won’t tell on you.”

  His laughter was maniacal, then he took the whip off the wall next to me and unfurled it. “This is going to be fun.”

  “Sir, really, don’t do that. I’m telling you not to do it. If you do, then it’ll be considered assault. You don’t want that, do you?” I was trying to get him to think about things before he really messed things up for himself.

  The first strike whipped through the air and landed squarely on my back. I shrieked with the pain. He’d hit me ten times harder than Troy ever had. Another came after that, then another and another.

  I was gasping for air, as I couldn’t breathe. I was crying so hard. “Please, stop! Cherry!” I cried out the safe word, praying it would stop what was happening to me. “Cherry! Help me. Help me, please. I don’t want this. Cherry! Someone call Troy Masterson!”

  I felt something hard against my back and my hair was pulled again. “That’s my cock that’s rubbing your blood soaked back. I’m covering it with your blood, then I’m going to ram it into your pussy. I’m going to give you what you should’ve had, instead of what that pansy ass gave you.

  “Stop, no …” I choked on bile that rose in my mouth.

  My body was hanging limply in the ropes. I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop the man. I wailed, begged for mercy, and received none. He stepped back, then I felt dozens of small whips flogging my back all over it. The pain was so unbearable, I felt myself slipping away.

  “Oh, don’t faint, honey. I’m not nearly done with you yet. And I need to hear you say that you understand what you did was wrong and you’re sorry. Can you tell me that?”

  All I could do was cry as blackness moved in. I felt more lashes, then I felt nothing as my eyes closed and I accepted the fact I was going to die on that wall.

  Troy

  When I went to the hallway where the private rooms were, I found Grant, Thomas, and William running from the other direction. Grant shouted, “Some other man has her, Troy! We have to hurry!”

  “What the hell is going on?” I was in shock as I saw the looks on their faces. Pure terror was in all their expressions.

  We met at the door Blyss was behind and found it locked. “Who’s in there with her?” I leaned my ear against the door, but heard nothing.

  Grant pulled open the small window, but tape had been put over the other side of it. “Fuck! We don’t know who the man is right now. It’s too dark in there and he’s got a mask on. An ambulance has been called.”

  An ambulance!

  “What, why? What the fuck is he doing to her? I don’t hear a damn thing!” I began to bang on the door as William started to try all kinds of keys on the locked door. “Open this door now!”

  No one ca
me to open the door, but William had found the key that worked and he flung the door open. My heart stopped as time froze.

  Blyss was covered in blood. Her body hung in the ropes as some asshole hid in the corner of the room, whimpering like a little rat, “She wouldn’t stop talking. I had to do it.”

  Grant looked at me with raised brows. “Do what you need to do, Troy. We’ll get her down.”

  The coward was cringing close to the floor as I made swift steps to him. My mind was black. I was in combat mode. He’d hurt the woman I loved. Maybe even killed her. He was as good as dead.

  I can’t say what happened after that. I just know it took five men to pull me off him, and when my eyes came back into focus, a bloody mess was all that was left of the man who’d dared to harm my woman.

  As the rage began to simmer inside me, I saw that Blyss had been loaded onto a gurney. She wasn’t breathing, one of the paramedics said. He began trying to resuscitate her, but she wasn’t responding.

  “I know how to do that.” I stepped up and began mouth to mouth on her. I found her limp and cold. It was my fault for sending her there. Everything was due to me and I’d be damned if she was going to die because of that. She wasn’t responding to me either.

  Stopping for a second, I took her hand and held it to my heart. “You feel that, baby? That’s beating only for you. You come out of this. I need you. I’m not letting you go.” I went back to work on her, and when I felt air flow from her mouth to mine, tears sprang into my eyes.

  “We have her,” the paramedic confirmed. “We’ll get her to the hospital now.”

  I held her hand as they wheeled her out, then I felt Grant put his hand on my shoulder. “We’ll press full charges on the man who did this. Not to worry about a thing. You just take care of your girl. We’ll come up to the hospital after the asshole is dealt with.”

  “Did I leave you much to work with?” I had to ask, as I had gone black, the way I always did when the savage man inside took over.