For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “I’m just in town at a hotel. I jumped the gun. Fear had me running. I called Sharon, and she came to talk to me. Things just need to slow down. Everything feels rushed. I need time.”

  Time was suddenly a thing I didn’t have. “Are you saying you want time apart?”

  “No, I just need time to think about things. Make good decisions. I’m not sure if I want to go to Stanford for the classes or to get back to my old life. I don’t want to make the wrong decision.”

  “The fact you don’t want time apart is music to my ears, baby. I’ll come get you. Where are you?”

  “In a hotel. You understand about me needing time, right?”

  “Sure, I do.” But I needed something from her.

  Would she give me what I needed—a wife?

  Blyss

  As I waited for Troy to come get me, I thought about my life and how empty it had been. Then I’d found Troy and it had felt different. Love was a little on the heavy side. It grounded me, it seemed. There wasn’t just me to think about any longer. Troy had to be put into things too. I had to consider what he needed and wanted out of a relationship too. It wasn’t all about me. He’d left the marriage thing off the table since I’d been in the hospital. I was thankful for that. Living together was one thing. A legal marriage was a whole new ballgame.

  A knock came to the door, and when I opened it, Troy scooped me up and took me straight to the bed. “Baby, you scared the shit out of me!”

  He laid down with me, kissing me with a hard kiss that spoke to me more than anything else he could say. He had been afraid, and I hated that I had made him feel that way. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him back, hoping he could feel the love I had for him. We rolled around the bed, only allowing our mouths to part when an item of clothing had to be pulled off.

  By the time I ended up on my back, we were naked and gazing into each other’s eyes. I pushed his thick, dark hair back. “I love you, Troy. I’m sorry.”

  The pad of his thumb ran over my lower lip. “I forgave you before you even called me. I love you, Blyss. Don’t ever run off again. We can talk through anything. You’ll see.”

  With a sigh, he kissed me again, then moved his body between my legs, spreading me open for him. We groaned delightfully as he entered me. I raked my nails across his back as electricity moved through me. “Troy, my God, what you do to me.”

  “What you do to me, Blyss, is beyond imagination.” He made a long stroke up, then went in deep.

  Our bodies never could deny the chemistry we shared. The way I felt when he had me in his arms should’ve been enough for me to believe our love was true. Every time we made love, I wondered why I ever worried about him loving me forever. It was obvious he loved me very much. And I knew I loved him. I just needed some time for it all to settle into my mind that our love could last.

  Kissing a trail along my neck, he bit it, making me moan, then he moved down until he had my breast in his mouth, sucking, nipping, and licking until it was swollen and hard. He kissed his way down to the other and did the same things to it. He had me on fire as I arched up to meet his cock. I ran my hands over his muscular back and my feet up the backs of his legs, relishing his amazing body.

  I was slipping into the darkness of the world he and I went to when our bodies came together, a place where only he and I lived, a place I wanted to go to all the time. I had to admit that if there was anything I was addicted to, it was making love to him. Every little touch drew out unimaginable responses from me, be it a moan, a groan, or a shot of pure electric heat. Something occurred with each touch and movement.

  Kissing his shoulder as he devoured my breast, I made my way up to his ear. “I am yours, master.”

  He bit my nipple, then pulled up to look at me. His eyes were dark with desire. “You are mine. You will always be mine. And you will always do as I say. That means you will never run away from me again. No matter what.”

  “I will never run away again.” I moaned as he swirled his cock and plunged in deeper. “Why would I leave this?”

  “Why, indeed?” He moved down my body, pulling his cock out of me and making me smile as he smiled at me, then trailed his tongue down my body until he was at my clit.

  His intimate kiss had me closing my eyes. I gripped the sheets as he ran his hot tongue through my folds. The way I wanted him should be illegal. The way I wanted him to covet me was probably bad, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. His teeth grazed my clit, sending pure pleasure sweeping through my body from my head to my toes, which were curling from the sensation. Swirling his tongue around my clit, he ignited an orgasm that had my body shaking.

  Flipping me over on my hands and knees, he shoved his fat cock back into me as he slapped my ass. “Yes, baby, cum all over me!”

  He took me hard and fast, making my orgasm go on and on and going even deeper. I was a bundle of ecstasy, crying out my need for him as he took me.

  When his cock filled me with his juices, I came harder. His jerking cock made my walls shiver with desire. We fell in a heap, our breathing loud and ragged. His lips pressed against the back of my neck. “Fuck, I love you, baby.”

  He turned me over and kissed me. I loved the way we tasted together in his mouth. When we were together, I loved everything. Every movement and kiss. I loved it all. I could see needing a solid week of us together in bed, doing nothing else.

  When he eased his mouth away from mine, I said, “We should stay right here this entire week. Order room service and never go out or get dressed. Make love, sleep, bathe together, and do nothing else.”

  “Hmm. That does sound nice. I could make you a deal. If I do that for you, will you do something for me?” He leaned up on his elbow and rested his hand on his palm as he stroked my stomach.

  “If you do that for me,” I ran the back of my hand over his five-o’clock-shadowed cheek. “I will do anything you want from me.”

  He took my hand and kissed it. “Good.” He rolled away from me for a second, then came back with a little black box. When he opened the lid, a giant diamond sparkled at me. “Marry me, Blyss Danner.”

  My heart stopped as I looked at that rock, but my brain was still going. I looked him in his blue-green eyes. “Not yet, Troy.”

  A frown filled his face. “I had an idea you’d say that.”

  “Then why’d you ask? I just told you I wanted things to slow down. That’s not slowing down.” I was a bit aggravated that he had spoiled the mood for me.

  I cut my eyes to the side and huffed, then he took me by the chin to make me look at him. “I need you to marry me, Blyss. I’ve got a problem only that will fix.”

  “How dramatic, Troy.” I wasn’t about to fall for any drama.

  “I have a daughter.”

  I went numb instantly. “I was gone for like five minutes, Troy. How the fuck did you get a daughter in that short amount of time?”

  “A phone call came from the father of a woman I messed around with about six years ago. She was in the Navy. She died a year ago, and the little girl had her fifth birthday recently. The only thing she wanted was to meet her daddy. So, Juan Sandoval, her grandfather, gave me a call. But being a part of her life has some stipulations. I can no longer be a womanizer.”

  “Which you aren’t.”

  He kissed the tip of my nose. “Which I’m not anymore, thanks to you. But he also wanted …wait, wanted isn’t strong enough. He demanded that I be married or he wouldn’t allow her to know me. He wants me to be stable in every possible way.”

  “Well, if you are her real father, you can just get a lawyer to handle that. You don’t have to do what he says.” I wasn’t about to get roped into a marriage just because some man had control issues.

  “He said he’d take her and hide out in another country. They already have plans all set up to do that if I ever tried to take her away from them.”

  “You’ll need to have a DNA test done before you go jumping through hoops, Troy.” I wasn’t going to let him
force me into something I wasn’t ready for.

  “She had one done. It seems that Maria Sandoval kept tabs on me and even sent in one of her friends to have sex with me, then took the filled condom to get a test done. It came back positive that I am the girl’s father. Mr. Sandoval has the documents to prove that.”

  I was out of things to say, except for one thing. “Is being a father something you want, Troy? I mean, the girl is with her grandparents. I’m sure she’s in a loving home. You don’t have to do this if it’s not something you want.”

  “I want to see her. I want to be there for her.” He ran the back of his hand over my cheek as his eyes went misty. “Knowing you gave me the reason to make this decision very quickly. I don’t want to leave my blood out of my life. I might not have known about her before, but now that I do, I want her in my life permanently. And that means I need you to marry me. I already told her grandfather that I had been married for a little less than a year. Please don’t let me down, baby.”

  My heart was aching. He was doing the right thing by the little girl and that was admirable. But would I marry him so he could have her in his life?

  “I don’t know if I want to cement things with a real marriage, Troy.” A thought emerged, then came out of my mouth, “But we can have a fake one. I’m sure your parents will go along with it.”

  “A fake marriage?” he asked as he looked a little excited about it. “I’ll take it!”

  He slid that ring on my finger and kissed me. that the kiss turned passionate quickly and had us doing what we’d already done all over again. I supposed a fake marriage should have a fake honeymoon in a nice hotel too.

  I didn’t have time to wonder if I’d made the right decision. Things were moving fast again, but how could I ask him to slow down getting to know his kid?

  Troy

  Telling my parents about having a daughter I was never told about proved harder than I expected. It was my mother who was worried it could all be a scam, meant to bilk us out of millions. She put her foot down hard and heavy. Lawyers would get to the bottom of things before the girl and her grandparents came to our home.

  My father wasn’t a fan of the fake marriage Blyss and I were hoping to pull off. I found myself explaining to him, “Dad, it’s temporary. Once everyone sees that I’m not an unstable man who will be bad for Tatum, we can come clean. And I do plan on marrying Blyss someday anyway.”

  “But down the road,” Blyss added. “Way down the road, like years from now.”

  I turned to scowl at her. “We got it, Blyss. It’ll be a while. Damn! You don’t have to rub it in.”

  “Sorry.” She moved on to mess with the computer. She was trying to find a California marriage license to forge our names on and a date from nine months ago. Just in case the Sandoval’s wanted proof of our marriage.

  I had already bought us a nice set of wedding bands that we were wearing. But there was the little thing about people in town knowing we were married.

  That’s where Dad wasn’t on board with us. I had the bright idea of making up a little article to tell the citizens of our town that I’d married while in San Diego and we were just now announcing the marriage. Just in case the Sandoval’s went around asking questions.

  I was trying to cover all the bases, but Dad thought that was going too far. “Troy, it’s bad enough that we’re lying for you. Don’t bring the townspeople into this scam you’ve cooked up.”

  “He’s right, Troy,” Mom chimed in. “Let’s leave it within the family. If they ask, then you’ll just tell them that you lived in Stanford and married there but never put the announcement in the papers.”

  “Or you could just stop this nonsense altogether.” Dad wagged his finger at me as he frowned. “I don’t like lying. I never have.”

  My cell dinged and I saw Mr. Sandoval had sent me what I had requested—the first picture I’d ever see of my daughter. Unlike my mother, I had accepted that she was mine. And when I opened up the text, I found her staring right at me. “Oh, my God. Mom, look at her!”

  My mother, Blyss, and Dad all moved in behind me to look at the little five-year-old who had blue-green hazel eyes under a crop of thick, dark lashes. Blyss put her hand on my shoulder. “She looks like you, baby.”

  “Oh, my!” Mom’s hand went to her heart. “Oh, my goodness. She’s my granddaughter!”

  Dad patted me on the shoulder. “She’s a little doll, son. I think she’s already stolen my heart.”

  With that one picture, all the lawyer bullshit went out the window. She was mine and we all knew it. Then Blyss walked out of the room. Confused, as I saw her head hanging low, I got up to follow her. “Blyss?”

  Mom grabbed my arm. “She wanted to have your children, Troy. I can tell. Be easy with her, son.”

  With a nod, I headed out of the room and found Blyss had only made it to the nearest bathroom, where she was bawling like a baby. I knocked on the door. “Baby, let me in.”

  She sniffled, “I’m okay. I just had to pee.”

  “You’re crying. I hear you. Let me in.”

  The door unlocked and I went inside to see her red-rimmed eyes. “I’m sorry. I am. I’m glad you have a kid. I am. I just …” She bit her lip as she tried not to burst into a sob.

  I ran my arms around her. “You just wanted my first child to be with you. I know.”

  Her arms wrapped around me as we rocked back and forth. “I wanted all of your children to be with me. Only me, Troy. Is that selfish of me? Is that too much to ask for?”

  “It’s neither thing. Of course you wanted that. You wouldn’t be normal not to want that. But she’s here, she’s mine, and I want you to love her just as much as I do. Her mother is dead, Blyss. She’ll need you too.”

  Her body was shaking as she tried to get her emotions under control. “She will need a mother. But I have no idea how to be one. No idea at all!” She lost her battle with the tears and fell apart.

  With everything that had been on my mind, I hadn’t thought about how Blyss would take the whole thing. I was foolish to think that it wouldn’t affect her negatively. She had a jealous streak a mile wide, after all.

  “I’m sorry. I am.” I hugged her tighter. “If this was turned around, and it was you who had a long-lost kid, I don’t know how I’d take it. But I think I’d learn to love anyone who was part of you.”

  “The plans I had for us are just all screwed up now. If we ever have a baby, it won’t be as special as I wanted it to be. And I know that sounds selfish, but I wanted to be the one to give you a baby.” She wailed some more and I hugged her still.

  “Our baby will be special. Hell, Blyss, every baby will be special. Don’t let this get to you. I want this to be a happy thing for both of us. You and I get to practice being parents on a kid who’s already past all the nasty baby stuff. No diapers to change, no midnight feedings, none of that bad stuff.”

  She sniffed and looked up at me. “That is a good point. She’ll be easier to take care of. But will she like me? Or will she want you all to herself? And would I be a terrible person not to want her to have you all to herself?”

  “She’s not going to get between us, Blyss. Don’t worry. Now, let’s wash your face. You’ve got it all red and blotchy from crying.” I turned on the faucet and pulled a washcloth out from the linen closet.

  Picking her up, I sat her down on the vanity and washed away her tears. She took me by the wrist and smiled. “You’ll be a wonderful dad. And I’ll do my best to be worthy of your daughter.”

  Kissing her on top of the head, I said, “I know you will. I never doubted you for a second. This is going to be fine, Blyss. You’ll see.”

  As I finished cleaning her up, I thought about how different my life was about to be. I had tons to plan. I wanted my daughter with me, not going back and forth between her grandparents and me. I had some figuring out to do, and I’d need Blyss to agree to one very important thing.

  But would she do it?

  “Troy, when are
you going to let them come?” She took the cloth from me and held it over her swollen eyes.

  “This weekend. I need to ask you to do one more thing for me, Blyss. It’s about your school.”

  She pulled the cloth away. “You want me to take the online classes and you want us to stay here, don’t you?”

  “Yes.” I ran my hands up and down her arms.

  “For how long?” I could see she was reading me. She knew what I was going to say before it even came out of my mouth. My eyes told her what I wanted and she shook her head. “I can’t promise you forever, Troy. Not yet.”

  “When?”

  Her chest was heaving as she began to breathe harder. “I don’t know. I can’t answer that. You want me to make decisions I just can’t yet. And what about your Naval career?” She searched my eyes for the answer.

  But I didn’t have one. “I don’t know about that. I don’t have to re-enlist. I can put that behind me. I do have a family to live for now. I never had anything before. I think knowing I’d leave behind people who love me and count on me would be a bad thing as far as missions go.”

  She nodded. “If you went on a mission, I don’t know what I’d do. Freak out until you got back—that’s a given. But this is the government we’re talking about here. They don’t just let you out. Not right away.”

  “I’ll have to give them the time I said I would. Another year. I could be sent on missions during that time. But I’d make sure to stay out of danger’s path. Knowing I’d have you and Tatum to come home to would make me stay as safe as I possibly could.”

  “And after you get out, what would you do with yourself?” she asked as she eyed me. “Because I’m not about to give up my career. I’m not going to sit around this house like some old retired person. Staying here isn’t exactly a reality, Troy.”

  “You can make a practice in Napa Valley.” I turned around to open the door, and she followed me out. “And I could work in the family business. I have a daughter to teach about it all now.”

  “Yes, you do, don’t you?” She sighed. “You have lots to do with her.” She was starting to sound jealous and that was worrisome.