For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “Troy? What’s wrong?” she shouted as she reached out to grab my hands.

  “That night. When they captured us! Oh, I need to sit down. I just need to sit down.”

  She helped ease me to the tiled shower floor, then turned off the water. “Tell me about it, Troy. Tell me what happened.”

  “It was raining, coming down in sheets. We couldn’t see a thing. Just like that shower. One by one, they took us, separating us from each other. I felt the sharp jab of a knife at the back of my skull, another was pressed against my ribcage. They didn’t say a damn thing. They didn’t need to. I wasn’t going to fight; I wasn’t going to take a stab wound that might kill me.”

  “Of course you didn’t want to take a stab wound, Troy. That’s natural.”

  “No, it’s not for me. I had always been prepared to take pain in order to get away from the enemy. But I wasn’t thinking in terms of pain. I was thinking in terms of death. I had to stay alive. Fighting might possibly get me killed. I couldn’t fight. I went with them because I had you to get back to. You and our family were why I didn’t fight.”

  “God,” she mumbled. “I’m so sorry.”

  I took her hand and held it. “No showers. At least not for a while. And let’s leave some kind of a light on, okay? I don’t want to wake up and have it be dark. Will that be all right?”

  “Anything you need, Troy, I will do.” She cradled my head in her arms. “I’m here for you, baby. I will always be here for you. You can be weak with me, and I’ll be the strength you need to get past this. I got you.”

  My little frail porcelain doll had me. And God knew I needed her. Somehow, I’d taken that girl and made her into a person I would end up needing. I was her rock, and she’d be mine. Both of us had strength and weaknesses. And we’d be there for each other.

  Forever!

  Blyss

  “Hey, wake up,” I said as I shook Troy. I was one week away from my due date, but I was feeling some odd sensations.

  He rolled over and rubbed his eyes. “I’m up. What ya got?”

  “I think we should go to the hospital. I feel weird.” I pulled my body up so I could sit up in the bed better and felt a gush of water as I did it. “Oh, shit!”

  “What the hell?” Troy hopped out of bed, tossing the blanket back. “Your water broke. Okay, okay, I’ve got this.”

  One hell of a bad pain wrapped around me and gave me a phenomenal squeeze. “Ow! Shit! Fuck! Troy, it hurts!”

  Wearing only his underwear, he rushed to change. “You stay put. I’ll grab your bag, call your doctor, and get you to the hospital.”

  Another gush came out of me and I felt tremendous pressure as another pain hit me. “Troy, I think the baby’s coming. I don’t think we’re going to make it to the hospital.”

  “NO! No, you hold on. Breathe. You know what to do.” He pulled on one pant leg, then almost fell over as I screamed again. “No, no! No screaming, Blyss. Breathing, not screaming. You can do this.”

  “I cannot! You don’t understand. It’s bad, Troy. And I’ve ruined our bed.”

  “We’ll get a new one. Don’t even worry about that. What do you mean, you can’t do this? You can and you will.”

  Another round of pain with pressure came, and I turned into a wailing banshee who also cursed like a sailor, “Fuck this shit, Troy! Come hold my hand! This fucking shit, fuck me running, hurts like …” He took my hand and the pain began to ebb. “Oh, yeah, baby. You’re like a miracle. Just stay here. Hold my hand. Don’t go anywhere.”

  “Blyss, I have to get you to the hospital. I have to grab your things and run them down to the car and come back to get you. I can’t hold your hand, honey.”

  “No, just hold my hand. Look, I’m not in any pain as long as you’re holding it. Now, grab my cell right there off the nightstand, call my doctor, and ask her what we should do.”

  “We should be getting in the car, my love, and getting you to the hospital. That’s the only thing we should be doing. Standing here, holding your hand is not the answer.”

  “For now, it is.” I took a nice deep breath. “Go ahead, make the call. I’ll be fine as long as you have my hand.”

  “This is crazy,” he mumbled as he got my cell and made the call, without letting my hand go. “Hello, doc? This is Troy Masterson. Blyss’ water broke and we need to be going to the hospital, but she has some crazy notion that if I just hold her hand, she’ll be fine. Which I know she won’t.”

  “You sound hysterical,” I snipped at him. “Give me the phone.”

  “Here she is, doc. Maybe you can talk some sense into her.”

  He handed me the cell and I said, “My water has broken and I’m having very bad squeezing pains. The pressure I feel when I have them is terrible. Now, I could get up, but quite honestly, I think the baby might fall out.”

  “What?” Troy shouted. “Are you shitting me?”

  “No, I’m not shitting you. And why do you look like that? You’re pale and what’s this twitching you’re doing?” I looked him up and down and wasn’t very happy with how he was reacting. “I’m the one in pain here. Not you!”

  “I’m just going to pick you up and take you to the car,” he said. “Fuck the damn bag. You packed way too much in for the one night stay at the hospital. I’ll come back and get it after the baby’s born, Blyss. Tell your doctor to get to the hospital.” Then he let my hand go.

  Right on cue, the pain came back as I reached out for him. “Troy, it hurts. Stop it!”

  “On a scale of one to ten, what is your current level of pain?” the doctor asked me.

  “One million! And I felt more crap gush out of me.” I pulled the blanket up to cover the gore that was escaping, plus I was getting cold. “Am I going to make it, Doctor Stevens? Cause I feel like there’s a real possibility that I won’t be able to pull this off.”

  “It’s too late to stop now.” She had the audacity to laugh at me. “I’m sending the ambulance to you right now. Stay put.”

  “So, you want me to stay right here in this bed?” I asked.

  Troy shook his head. “No way! No, fucking way, Blyss! I can’t do this. I cannot deliver this baby. Don’t make me. It’s too much responsibility. Little Braxton is special; he deserves to be welcomed to our world by a licensed physician. Not his dad who has never delivered anything. Not even a kitten, Blyss. I haven’t even seen kittens being born. And you expect me …”

  I screamed with another pain that was way too bad, and all I wanted to do was push. “Troy, I want to push!”

  “NO!” both Troy and my doctor screamed.

  “Put your husband on the phone, Blyss.”

  I held out the phone. “She wants to talk to you, baby.”

  He shook his head and backed away. “No, I know what she’s going to say. I know it!”

  I tossed the phone, and he caught it. “Talk to her!”

  Troy

  I didn’t want to put that damn phone to my ear, but I had to do it. I had to pull myself together and hope that doctor would tell me to calmly wait for the ambulance to arrive and the paramedics would happily and efficiently deliver my little boy.

  She didn’t say anything like that!

  “Troy, listen up. I know this might seem a little overwhelming …”

  “This is a shit-ton overwhelming. Please don’t sugar-coat things, doc. Now, here’s my plan. I’m going to hold her hand like she said and keep the pain away until the ambulance gets here. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think she sees holding my hand the same way Dumbo held that feather with his nose and thought that’s what made him fly. Whatever the psychological theory is, I’m going that route.”

  Blyss’ expression went to one of appalled anger. “I am not Dumbo, Troy! You do realize that’s very insulting, right?”

  “Baby, I didn’t call you, Dumbo. You’re taking it out of context because you’re in such bad pain.” I patted her head, then realized I was treating her much like one would a dog, so I stopped.
<
br />   The doctor was back to bossing me, “Troy, I need you to give things a looksee down there, please. What I want to know is if you see a giant hole where your wife’s vagina used to be.”

  “For the love of …” I had to stop as Blyss’ face went beat red.

  “I have to push! I have to!”

  “NO! No, no, baby. Not yet. Let me just take a little look.”

  I didn’t want to look. I wanted to run downstairs and wait for the ambulance, but that was just a bit too cowardly for me.

  The doctor said, “How’s she looking?”

  “Yeah, hang on. Let me put the phone on speaker and put it down. There we go. And pull the blanket back. Her panties are soaked, and there are some pretty good-sized spots of blood on them too.”

  “Get those off her,” the doctor ordered me.

  “But they might be all that’s going to keep the baby in until the paramedics get here. I should really leave them on.”

  “Pull them off!” both the doctor and Blyss shouted at me.

  “Ugh! Fine!” I shimmied them off her and tossed them on the end of the bed. “They’re off. Now what, doc?”

  “Bend her knees up so you can see. Don’t act like you don’t know how to look at your wife’s genitals, Troy.”

  Blyss went pink. “God, this is awful.”

  I didn’t want to do it, but I did. I pushed one knee up, then the other, and squinted as I didn't recognize the place I’d come to know very well. “Um, things look odd down here.”

  “Troy!” Blyss yelled at me. “You’re making me feel badly about how I look!”

  I shook my head as I looked at her. “Honey, let me tell you that you won’t recognize this either. I mean, it’s oozing and swollen. Frankly, I’m a little afraid it won’t ever look the same. I mean, how can it? Should I get a mirror so you can see too?”

  “Troy!” the doctor shouted. “Stop talking like that. You’re going to mentally scar her.”

  “Sorry,” I said, then patted Blyss on the leg. “It’s not so bad. I’m sure you’ll be great in no time …”

  Her face went red and she began to push. “I can’t stop it this time!”

  What looked horrible became worse. “Oh, God.”

  “What’s happening?” the doctor asked.

  “Something terrible,” was all I could come up with. “Black hair just sprouted in one round patch. How does that even happen?”

  “You’re looking at the top of your son’s head, Troy. It looks like you’ll be seeing him soon.”

  I smiled at the thought. “Hey, baby, I can see his head. He’s got my dark hair. Don’t worry, it’s not a sudden patch of black pubes that just sprung up.”

  Blyss was huffing and puffing as she sweated up a storm. “Troy, please stop fooling around. You’re a freaking Navy SEAL. I know you can handle something as simple as childbirth.”

  She was so wrong!

  But I couldn’t tell her that. It was time to step up and accept the fact that it would be me who would be bringing my son into the world. “Next kid, you are living in the hospital the entire last month, Blyss.”

  “Deal,” she agreed. “But for now, help me get this thing out of me.”

  The doctor chimed in, “The paramedics are fifteen minutes away.”

  “Hey, they might get here before I have to …”

  “No such luck,” Blyss cried out as her face went red again.

  The doctor was quick to say, “Be ready. When he gets his head out, hold it for him. He can’t, you know.”

  “He’s slimy!” I saw the goo all over him as he moved out in tiny increments from a place I used to know and love.

  “Use the sheet,” the doc directed.

  I grabbed the sheet so he wouldn’t slip around in my bare hands. “This is so unsanitary. His face is out. Should I wipe it off? He can’t even open his eyes.”

  “He’s okay. Don’t mess with him too much yet,” the doc said. “Just keep a hold on him until he’s out. The ambulance should be there soon, and they have things to cut the cord and suction out the mouth and nostrils.”

  Something came over me as I looked at his little red face. He wasn’t breathing, but I knew he shouldn’t be yet. “He’s adorable, Blyss.” I looked at her as she took a little break from pushing.

  “Is he really?”

  I nodded. “I can’t wait to see all of him. You’re doing so good, baby. You really are. I’m so proud of you. What a trooper.”

  “Here we go, Troy,” she said as she began to bear down.

  “Once his shoulders are out, the rest of him will follow fast,” the doctor added.

  One shoulder came out, and I held him as the other popped out, then he oozed on out. “Oh, God! He’s here! He’s here! Braxton, Daddy’s got you!”

  The door opened and the paramedics came in, followed by my mother. Dad was lingering in the hallway. “Is that the baby you’re holding, son?”

  “Yeah, Dad. I did it. I delivered him. All by myself.” I held him while the men did things to him, then his eyes opened with a jerk and he cried, making a tiny sound. “Hey there, big boy, welcome to the Masterson family.”

  And that was that. Blyss and I had done it. We made it all work, somehow. We found out we could get through anything, as long as we were in it together.

  Our happy ending had been found, even though the path to it was kind of treacherous …

  The End

  Savage SEAL’s Virgin Extended Epilogue

  A submissives’ Secrets Extra

  Blyss

  “Sarah, can you reschedule Mrs. Davenport for a week from Friday, my husband just texted me that he has a surprise and I’m to clear my schedule for the entire week.” I was on pins and needles with anticipation of what Troy had in store for me.

  “Doctor Masterson, that sounds so exciting. Didn’t you two just celebrate your fifth year of marriage last month?” my receptionist asked me.

  “We did. He took me to Paris for the occasion. I’m sure he has something else in mind with this one. He’s been in a mood lately, restless, antsy, and easily irritated. I’m sure he needs to blow off some steam. Having three kids isn’t easy, and he’s a hands-on dad, it takes a lot to handle our little rogues.”

  “You have your ten-year-old, Tatum.”

  “She’s a doll. So, helpful with the boys. Then we have Braxton, he’s five. Then there’s the two-year-old, Montgomery. That child is like three in one. He’s the rowdiest of them all. He loves to run, and he does it all day. Troy still maintains his physique, even though he’s left his Naval life behind, thank goodness. He’s in great shape and keeping up with Montgomery isn’t a problem for him.”

  “But it must be wearing him down, I suppose,” Sarah shifted her weight as she stood just inside my office door. Her deep brown hair hung over her left eye and she blew it upward to move it.

  “It might be. He never complains. He wanted to get into the winery business and be home with the kids. And I love my psych practice. Three days a week doesn’t take me away from my family too much.” I put my ever-present pad of paper away in my desk, locking up my clients’ secrets and then I’ll pick up my things to leave. “I’ll see you next week, Sarah.”

  “I’ll lock up the office, Doctor Masterson. Have a fun week.”

  wanted to do something radical. Since, leaving the Navy, there’d been no danger in his life. Perhaps he was seeking some of that. I shook my head as I thought, he’d never take me on anything dangerous. It had to be something else.

  ted to go to some remote island and just relax, getting away from it all. But that wasn’t exactly his thing. Troy liked being busy. He craved it. I just couldn’t see him wanting to get away from it all. He loved his kids, his parents, and the three dogs we let the kids have. He loved me, and I loved him. What could it be that had him so uptight?

  I headed home, about to face a mystery as Troy told me he’d packed the things for us, I didn’t need to do a thing but come home, park my car in the garage, kiss our ch
ildren goodbye and jump into his brand-new Jeep with him.

  My insides were tingling as I thought about what he had in mind for us. My husband was a man of many talents. I knew no better father, husband or lover. Not that I knew any other man as my lover, but being a psychologist and privy to intimate details of others, I knew Troy was exceptional. Turning up the radio, I tried to tune out my thoughts. It would be nice to be surprised. I could trust him.

  Couldn’t I?

  When I pulled into the garage, I saw a box in the back of the Jeep just as Troy was shutting the darkly tinted glass windows. He waved and shouted, “Come tell your mother goodbye, kids.”

  As I got out of the car, I was met by Montgomery first. He climbed up my leg to get into my arms and gave me a giant, wet smooch on the cheek. “Wub you, Momma. You go bye-bye?”

  “Yes, Daddy is taking me somewhere. Will you be a good boy for Gramps and Grams?” I kissed his cheek, and he grinned, devilishly.

  “Uh huh.” He climbed down as Braxton stood, waiting to say his goodbyes.

  I leaned over and gave him a hug. “You will help out with our little monkey, right? Help out your grandparents as much as you can with Montgomery.”

  He kissed my cheek then wiped his lips. “Gross, he left you all soggy.”

  I laughed and ran the back of my hand over my cheek. “Seems he did.”

  He walked away, looking at me over his shoulder. “I’ll help with him, Mom. Bye, you have fun. Dad has lots of…”

  Troy cut him off, “It’s a surprise, Brax!”

  “Oh, yeah,” Braxton said as he shook his head. “I almost forgot.” He went back inside, following his little brother as he ran off.

  I turned to look at Tatum who was playing with one of her dark ringlets of hair. “And you will be our helper with them both, won’t you, big sister?”

  She nodded and came to hug me. “I’ll keep them in line, Mom. You go have fun.” She leaned in close to whisper the rest, “And help Dad to chill out. He yelled at the dogs today just because they began to run around.”

  “I’ll fix him up,” I said then kissed her cheek. “Thank you for being such a big help and wonderful sister, Tatum. I’ll bring you a special gift.”