For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  Letting out a sigh, I knew I had to just sit there and wish my friends could trust me. What bad judgment had I shown before? I had the sense it would just make it worse if they thought I was defending him, so I stayed quiet, frustrated and helpless to make them understand.

  “We care about you,” Angela said, and I felt myself softening a bit, the frustration and helplessness fading a little. “That’s why we’re worried. This guy, he’s acting a bit weird. You have to admit that. Maybe it’s what you say, maybe it’s something different, but …”

  Joan broke in. “Just try to be careful.”

  Because it would make them feel better, I nodded. I honestly didn’t think there was any reason to be careful, though. Maybe they could see that in my eyes.

  “What if he’s after the money? We all know how rich people can get. They want more and more money and nothing is ever enough.”

  I had to grant Angela that, but Theodore hadn’t been like that. I had hope David wasn’t either. No, he wasn’t. He hadn’t even mentioned the money.

  “He said I should move into his grandfather’s old house. He was worried because my apartment was so small,” I remembered. “There’s no way he’s after the money if that’s what you think.”

  Why would he be trying to get me to accept my inheritance if he just wanted to take it from me? No, I didn’t buy it. David’s story made complete sense to me and he’d apologized profusely for everything he’d done to me. I’d been able to feel his remorse for the whole situation.

  The man had wasted twelve years, after all. Of course he was upset about that. Anyone would be. My friends were good, sweet, caring people, but they were letting their own suspicious minds get in the way.

  I knew they’d all been hurt by men before. I knew it because I’d heard them talking about it. Of the four of them, only one was married, and Joan and Angela were both divorced.

  “Okay, okay, I get it.” Angela held her hands up in surrender, laughing a little bit. “You’ve got it bad for this guy. It’s fine. And you’ve got us to watch your back, right? So it’s all good.”

  She seemed satisfied and so did the other two women, who I didn’t know all that well.

  Something in Joan’s eyes, though, said she didn’t seem to feel the same way. On the surface, it was all fine. Joan dropped the subject and the conversation moved on, though every so often one of the four other women would shoot me a bit of a look.

  It was a lot to take, I knew that. Not only the whole thing with David, either, but just the fact that I’d gotten so much money. I hadn’t even tossed any figures around—I was too cautious for that—but they were still worried for me.

  The whole David issue was a big part of the problem. I even understood why. If someone had told me everything that had happened, I would have thought there was a pretty good chance they were going to get themselves into trouble too.

  David wasn’t like that, though. David had opened up to me. He’d shown me sides of himself I somehow knew he didn’t show to most people. These four women were good people, but they didn’t know him.

  Somehow, I felt like I did know him. At least a little. Enough to be sure that he was not the monster I’d sort of thought he was when I’d first learned about him. He had reasons for everything he’d done.

  What really got to me was how badly he felt about all of it. He’d made a terrible mistake, and I knew he was paying for it. He would keep paying for it. I wasn’t sure he would ever forgive himself.

  Maybe I was just the woman who had nursed his grandfather, but I figured if I could forgive him, it was a start. Maybe it could get him to the point where, someday, he could forgive himself.

  I would help him. And I would get to spend time with him too. My motives were pure, of course, but I would admit I enjoyed being around him. Not just because he was handsome—though he was—but also just because of the person he was inside.

  He’d shown me that person. He’d become vulnerable for me, and I had already made the decision. It didn’t really matter what my girlfriends thought. I valued their opinion, but I would make my own choices.

  I was going to be friends with David Black if he would let me. It seemed to me like he needed a friend, maybe more than anyone else I’d ever met.

  If he wanted me, he could have me. As a friend. And I definitely hoped he did.

  When I’d held his hand, it had sent little shots of electricity through me. He and I had some kind of a connection. Maybe it was because we both cared deeply about the same man. Or maybe it was something else altogether.

  Whatever it was, I wanted to see it through. And I had hope that he would too.

  David

  When I remembered the night Brent and I had made this plan, the one thing that stuck out in my mind was how open I’d been and how honest I was with the alcohol in my system. How I’d said things I normally wouldn’t have said, just because the beers had taken my inhibitions away.

  Why not use that?

  I knew from texting with Kaye, as I had started doing now and then, that she had taken my advice and moved into my grandfather’s old house. It burned me up inside to think of her living there. The woman who had, the way I saw it, essentially robbed my grandfather.

  It did mean, though, that I knew where to go to find her. After impatiently waiting a few days, I put the next part of my plan into motion.

  It was a balancing act, deciding on timing. I wanted to act quickly enough to keep her interest, but not so quickly that it would seem strange. Still, I wanted her safely married to me by the time my grandfather’s estate was settled.

  From the research I’d done, it could be as soon as six months, especially since I had no intention of contesting the will. My grandfather had paid someone to act as the executor, and I would let him do his job without the slightest hint of protest.

  I had a much more sure-fire way to get the money, after all. Why get involved in a nasty fight I had no chance of winning?

  Still, it was time to get a move on, which is why I drank one beer. Just one, so I would smell and taste like it.

  Staggering up the walkway to the house, I let my eyes blur. Leaning carefully against the side of the house, as though I could barely stay on my own feet, I knocked on the door. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, as though it were almost too heavy for me to hold up.

  It was night time, but only just. The sun had gone down about an hour ago, so I knew there was a good chance she would be awake.

  “David?” She pulled the door open and those remarkable green eyes of hers widened as she looked me over. “David, are you okay? Come in. Are you sick?”

  “No.” I let my words slur a little bit and pushed myself away from the wall, acting as if it was all too much for me and collapsing back against it. “Sorry for bothering you.”

  The woman had quite the caring nurse act going, and I was willing to bet she wouldn’t let that slip. It was possible that she even did feel sorry for me. I was doing everything I could to be pitiful, and when I felt her arm slip around my waist, I knew I was doing it well.

  “It’s grandpa,” I whispered, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and leaning on her just enough to make my story plausible. This close, surely she could smell the beer. She smelled like coconut and fruit, and damned if she didn’t smell good enough to eat.

  Whoa.

  I wasn’t there to fall for her charms. What did it matter what she smelled like?

  “Come on,” she said, and she even supported my weight better than I would have expected. I outweighed her, but she was strong. Of course, she was a nurse, so that was hardly surprising.

  “I’m such an idiot,” I moaned, and it was actually pretty easy to put sadness and regret into my voice. I felt them. Part of why I was so determined to bring Kaye to justice was because I hated how she had taken advantage of my grandfather. The money was only part of it, but not the biggest part.

  I hadn’t served my grandfather well in life so I would serve him now.

  “N
o, you’re not.” Kaye helped me to the couch and eased me down gently onto it. “Please don’t say things like that, David. You’ve made mistakes, but we all have.”

  I knew it. I knew that for her Mary Sunshine act to work, she was going to have to comfort me. I had to applaud her, though. She belonged in Hollywood, because even though I knew her game, I was hard pressed to find any signs of insincerity.

  “I wish I had him back,” I whispered, and it was true. So very true that it was no problem to put sadness into my voice.

  “David, I’m so sorry.” Kaye leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me. The softness of her full breasts pressed sweetly against my arm, and I felt a throbbing heat start to build through my body, focused on my cock and balls.

  Oh, she was good. She made me want her just by hugging me. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought this was all completely sincere. It really seemed like all she was doing was comforting me, but the way her gorgeous, soft tits pushed against me couldn’t be accidental.

  Well, I had come to deepen the relationship between us, right? So why not ‘let’ her seduce me? It would give her a sense of power. Normally that would irritate me—I wanted to be the one in control of things, always. But for my purposes, I’d allow her to think she had the upper hand.

  Letting a gorgeous woman try to get me into bed was a sacrifice I could willingly make.

  So I did the only logical thing. I wrapped my arm around her slender waist, tugged her into my lap, and kissed her.

  For just a second her lips parted, and I tasted not only her sweetness but also victory. I’d won. She doubtless felt like she was the one who had trapped me, but it was the other way around.

  Then I realized something. She was pulling away, her jade eyes wide and her hand rising to cover her lips as though protecting them. She hadn’t kissed me back. The way her pretty lips had parted, it was entirely because of her surprise.

  The whole thing was over in half a second. Maybe less.

  “What’s wrong?” I slurred, glad that I’d thought to act drunk. It was all about the deniability. I could so easily say I had only been acting this way because of the booze. It had also made her feel sorry for me, so it was a good plan all around.

  Kaye still had the slender, beautiful fingers of her own hand pressed against her full lips.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you think that …I don’t do that.”

  I frowned a little bit. That reaction wasn’t what I had expected. I’d thought she would be eager for it—that she would see it as a way to further ensnare me.

  Could it be an act?

  I looked at her thoughtfully, only barely remembering to keep my own drunk act in place.

  “What do you mean? You don’t do what?”

  I had to be misunderstanding her. How else did she always get what she wanted, if not by using that gorgeous body of hers? I stared at her and watched as she bit her full lower lip, worrying at it with even, white teeth.

  How was it that even her damn teeth were beautiful? How was that even possible?

  “I don’t …I’ve never …” She struggled with the words a little, and I watched with dawning understanding, and, yes, surprise. I already knew she was a good actor, but she wasn’t faking this. I was sure of it.

  I made her say it. I am and have always been at least a little bit of a sadist, and even though I was fairly sure what she was going to say, I still wanted to hear the words, to see the blush on her cheeks, and to watch the way she worried at her lips.

  It was so damn sexy, it should be illegal. Not that I was being drawn in, because I wasn’t.

  I wasn’t, damn it.

  “I won’t have sex with you.”

  When she finally managed to say it, her tone was very firm. It stayed firm as she continued on.

  “I’m a virgin. I’ve never had sex, and I’m not about to start now.”

  Oh, God. She was a virgin. For some reason, I believed that even though I didn’t believe most of what she said. There was a sort of defiance in the way she said it—like she expected me to laugh at her—that made me sure she was telling the truth.

  “Never?” I asked, and I tried not to think too much about what that meant. No one had ever touched her. No one had ever parted her smooth, firm thighs and slid deep inside the very center of her being.

  She shook her head, and I had to take a second to clear my mind—to really fully comprehend what she was saying.

  She was younger than me, I knew that much. She couldn’t be older than twenty-six or maybe twenty-seven at the most. Still, how many virgins were there at that age? Not to mention how utterly delectable she was.

  If she really was untouched, I knew it had to be by her own choice.

  “You’ve never done anything?” I looked at her, trying to figure out how this could be true. It hardly fit in with the image I had of her in my mind, a man-eating succubus out to get whatever she wanted. However she could.

  “No. I’ve never been touched like that,” she admitted, her chin tilted proudly high, that hint of defiance still there in her voice and in her pretty eyes. “Not by anyone.”

  Including herself. She didn’t have to say it, but I knew it was true. She’d never even had her own hands on her sexy, tight, little body.

  Was she a prude?

  It was possible, but I didn’t think so. I thought, somewhere deep down inside, in a place she didn’t even acknowledge at all, she was wound up tighter than anyone I’d ever met.

  The idea thrilled me. What would it be like to be the one who finally released all of that tension trapped within her? What would she give to the man who managed to get through to her?

  I was doing this just for the money and the revenge for taking advantage of my dying grandfather, I told myself firmly. But as I got to know her more, that was getting harder to keep in mind.

  If I wanted to be completely honest with myself, which I wasn’t sure I did, it was more than the money. I wanted to be her first. I wanted to create that impression on her.

  It wasn’t part of the plan. In my mind, bedding her had been nothing more than a pleasant way to make her think the marriage was real when I’d been drunkenly planning all of this with Brent.

  That was all changing, and I wasn’t sure I could keep up. Not without losing myself.

  Part Two

  Chapter 6

  Kaye

  My confession hung between us in the complete and utter silence, and I had to sort of kick myself for my own words. Why had I told David that? Why would I tell him the secret that I had kept to myself for so long?

  The truth was, I had never told anyone I was untouched. Most of the people I knew had a much more casual attitude toward sex than I did. Everyone had always assumed, at least as far as I knew, that I was the same way as everyone else. After all, how many virgins of my age could there possibly be in the world?

  It was so much easier to just let everyone assume what they naturally would. I knew the truth, and I had always found it was enough for me to know the truth.

  For the first time, I had told someone else. I held my breath, waiting for him to respond. I could tell he was shocked, and I had to wonder if he would be disgusted by what I had disclosed to him.

  Maybe he would just walk out. I wasn’t even sure I could blame him if he did. How pathetic did I have to seem to him?

  I had had offers, but not as many as people sometimes assumed. I had deliberately kept myself busy. I’d never really wanted to date, not until the time was right.

  It never had been.

  So why did I tell him?

  I had no idea. There was just something about him. It pulled at me like nothing else ever had. I had been attracted to men before, but it had never hit me this hard.

  It had been threatening to rain all day, and all of a sudden, it hit. A blast of wind hit the side of the house as if summoned out of nowhere, and seconds later, the wind started to patter against the windows.

 
It wasn’t just rain and wind, either. I jumped a little bit as a flash of lightning visibly lit up the sky outside of the mansion and strange shadows danced on the wall. A very short time later, it was followed by the sharp crack of thunder.

  This place didn’t quite feel like my home yet. Those shadows weren’t familiar to me at all. I gave a cry of fear, which I sort of hated myself for. I had nerves of steel and could deal with most things, but for some reason, storms freaked me out.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, taking a step toward me. I was still waiting for him to just make his excuses and leave, but instead he reached out and touched my shoulder. It felt good.

  Far too good.

  I had never been as interested in anyone as I was in him. I’d started off disliking him, but something else was going on here. I didn’t quite know what it was yet, but something in me yearned for him.

  “Yes.” Even though I tried to sound brave, my voice trembled, and I forced a deep breath into my lungs to try to calm myself. I tried to steady myself before speaking again. “I'm all right.”

  And, then, just like that, he was right there. I was in his arms, and he was holding me, secure and warm and safe. When the lightning flashed and the thunder roared again, I didn’t jump quite as much as I had the first time.

  A smaller house would be shaking with the fury of the sudden storm, I was sure of it. The mansion stood solidly, just as David did, and I let myself just cling to him. I’d never been the type to accept comfort from other people, but from him it somehow seemed okay.

  His hand moved slowly down my arm, then took my hand in his. “You’re shaking,” David commented, as he gazed down into my eyes. “I don’t think you’re okay.” He moved his other hand up and down my arm to warm me.

  I couldn’t even deny it. I hadn’t known I was shaking, but when he said it, I realized he was right. I was trembling in his arms. What can I say? It had been a rough time for me, and I was a little overwrought to say the least. “I’ll be …”