Art for Art's Sake: Meredith's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  “We’ll be there. Oh, and next week I made an appointment for you to get those contacts you wanted.”

  “You did?” Meredith jumped up and hugged her mother. “Thanks, Mom. I think I’m ready to lose those stupid things.” She gestured at the black-rimmed glasses on the bedside table.

  Meredith sat back down on her bed, and her mother joined her. “So, once again I’m sitting here thinking that my baby is almost a high-school graduate.”

  “Oh, Mom, don’t get all misty on me. And, besides, I’m not your baby. Mikey is.”

  “I know. You’ve looked so happy lately, and I’ve been so happy for you. You and Dani patched things up, I presume?”

  Meredith marveled at her mother’s sixth-sense. “Yeah, we had a falling out, and it was my fault. All of it. I was pig-headed and stupid.”

  “You?” Her mother sounded as if she couldn’t believe her daughter could be pig-headed.

  Meredith frowned. “Yeah, me. Well, I’m going to tell you this, Mom, but it’s in confidence, okay?”

  “Oh? Okay.”

  Meredith took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure why she was about to tell her mother what she was about to tell her, but her instincts told her that she should. “Dani’s gay. And, I reacted badly. I’m really ashamed of myself, actually. I didn’t talk to her for like eleven whole days.”

  “Over spring break?”

  Meredith nodded her head in shame.

  “I thought something had happened. But Meredith, she’s still the same person she always was.”

  “Believe me. I’ve been through all that in my head. snapped out of it finally. I don’t know why I wigged out. But we’re okay now. Except...”

  “Except what?”

  Meredith pulled the pillow out from behind her and hugged it. She looked down at the pillow because she couldn’t look her mother in the eye. Things were finally making sense in her head. She had sort of known for a while now, but as she talked to her mother everything kind of clicked into place. Although she had barely said the words to herself, she decided to take a chance and actually say them out loud. “I think I might be that way, too.”

  Meredith didn’t look up. The sound of the ticking clock in the hallway just outside her room maddeningly filled the growing silence.

  Meredith almost jumped when her mother finally spoke. “Oh, Meredith. Maybe you just have a crush. Girls get crushes on other girls. You admire her, we all do, but maybe it’s just because you’ve had such a hard time adjusting to life here in the city. It’ll pass.”

  “Maybe.” She blinked back the tears welling in her eyes. “But, Mom?”

  “Hmm?”

  “What if...what if it doesn’t pass, and what if I’m that way, too?”

  “Well...” Her mother was silent for a while, but finally said, “Well, it’s not what your father and I would have wanted for you, but we’ll love you no matter what. Dani is very charming. Your father just loves her. She’s the brother he always wanted for Mikey.” They both laughed. “Mikey just lights up when he sees her. She’s so good with him. I have to admit, I like her, too. More importantly, I like the way you light up when you’re around her. How can you fight that?”

  Meredith covered a smile with her hand, but kept her head down.

  “So, honey, if you are that way we’ll simply adjust. You know we love you, and we’ll accept you anyway you are. The Bedfords are good at adjusting.”

  Meredith, overcome with emotion, threw her arms around her mother. The tears she had been trying to hold back let loose. After a minute, she let go of her mother and sat back against the headboard. The pillow had fallen to one side, but she didn’t reach for it again. Instead, she reached for a tissue from her bedside stand and chuckled when her mother reached for one, too.

  “Mom, even if I’m not that way, I still kind of love her.”

  Her mom smiled. “I understand, honey. I think your father and brother feel the same way.”

  There was no possible way her father or her brother felt the same way she did about Dani. To be away from Dani hurt. Meredith smiled at her mother and said, “I hadn’t even planned on saying anything to you about all of this, but you just sensed it, I guess.”

  Her mother stood up and turned to go. “It’s that motherly thing, I suppose. Well, when you get yourself together, come down and help me get supper, okay?”

  Meredith couldn’t help but notice her mother’s worried brow. “Okay, I’ll be right down. I just need a minute.” I think I’m going to need more than a minute because I think I just told my mother I was gay.

  Meredith felt a little dizzy, so she put the pillow behind her head, closed her eyes, and wondered what she was going to do about Dani.

  WHEN THE WHICKETT Days crowd finally dissipated, Esther, Millie, Dani, and Meredith had the old house to themselves again. Meredith and Dani moved two of the rented chairs out to the front porch of the old Victorian house.

  Meredith patted one of the chairs and said, “Here, Esther, have a seat. I think the fireworks will go off any minute now. Which way’s Whickett Park?”

  Millie sat in the other chair. She pointed across Center Street in a northerly direction and said, “I think it’s over that way. They’re shooting them from Whickett Park?”

  “Yeah, that’s what my dad said.” Meredith leaned on the back of Esther’s chair. “I’m so tired. What a day.”

  Esther turned in her chair. “Well, we couldn’t have done this whole open house thing without you girls. Right, Millie?”

  “Nope.”

  “You girls are the best granddaughters we could have adopted. Right, Millie?”

  “Yup. Now, why don’t you kids go upstairs to the balcony and watch the fireworks from up there. Me and my girl need some alone time.”

  “Millie!”

  Meredith laughed and looked at Dani who shrugged and said, “Okay, we’ll be upstairs. Just yell if you need us.”

  Meredith and Dani made their way up the staircase to the second floor master bedroom and out onto the balcony. They could hear Esther and Millie talking right below them, but couldn’t quite make out what either of them was saying.

  Meredith moved to the railing and looked in the direction Millie had pointed. “I don’t see anything yet.”

  Dani moved next to her. “I’m sure we’ll hear the fireworks once they get started. We should have brought a couple chairs up. Oh, well. I’m too tired to go back down. What a day. I never saw so many people in my life. Wasn’t it cool to meet Mr. Dalton’s wife? She seemed really nice.”

  “She did. She was so pretty, too. Speaking of meeting people, I’m glad I finally got to meet your parents and your sister. They were really nice.”

  “Thanks. I grew them myself!” Dani laughed and then added, “My mom said you were pretty.”

  “Ack. Oh, please.” Meredith knew she was blushing.

  “My sister agreed with her. And…so do I.”

  Meredith hid her face behind her hands for a moment and then decided to change the subject as quickly as possible. She lowered her voice. “Esther looks tired, doesn’t she?”

  “Yeah. So does Millie. I don’t think any of us were ready for the interest the town had in the Randall-Bradley House. And I think you upstaged the mayor’s speech.”

  “Noooo.” Meredith dragged the word out for emphasis. “Oh, my God. Do you really think so? He must hate me.”

  “Well, he was kind of boring and then when your paintings were uncovered, everybody clapped so loudly.”

  “I know. Did you see Mikey cover his ears?”

  “That was cute when he hugged you in front of everybody. You’re, like, a big celebrity now.”

  Meredith snorted. “I doubt that highly.”

  The first of the big booms diverted their attention. The fireworks show had begun.

  Dani craned her neck. “Can you see them?”

  “Yeah, move over here behind me.” Meredith motioned behind her since Dani was taller. “The tree’s in your way.”
/>
  The first few fireworks lit up the clear night sky, and although Meredith enjoyed the burst of color against the dark sky, she lost interest. She lost interest because she could feel Dani’s body heat behind her. Meredith stood perfectly still and listened to Dani’s soft breathing. She imagined Dani’s breath on the back of her neck. She imagined moving her hair out of the way so that Dani could lean down and kiss her there.

  Meredith jumped when Millie yelled, “How’re my granddaughters doing up there?”

  Dani cleared her throat and called down, “We’re fine, Grandma.” She chuckled.

  Meredith shouted, “Everything okay down there?”

  “Just peachy,” Millie called back.

  Meredith sighed. She wondered if Dani had any clue the effect she had on her lately. Maybe she should find out. Meredith swallowed, trying to find the courage. She shuffled back slowly, almost imperceptibly, inch by inch until she felt Dani’s folded arms against her back. Meredith’s heart was pounding. Part of her was in denial, but the other part, the part that was winning, pressed against her friend more firmly. Dani let out a small whimper, but Meredith persevered and kept contact.

  Meredith stayed rock still against Dani and could barely breathe. The fireworks in the night sky went unnoticed in front of her. She only registered Dani’s arms against her back and wondered what Dani must be thinking. She hoped Dani couldn’t feel her trembling.

  Meredith’s breath caught in her throat when Dani’s arms slowly encircled her waist. Dani linked her hands over Meredith’s stomach. Meredith let out a slow and controlled breath as she slowly covered Dani’s hands with her own. She was sure Dani could feel her trembling now, but she didn’t care. She leaned back and let her head fall onto Dani’s shoulder. Dani sighed in her ear. God, being this close to Dani felt so right. With Dani’s arms around her, she felt secure, safe, protected. But, no, it was more than that. With Dani’s arms around her, she felt loved. She wanted to keep Dani’s arms around her, not just for a moment or an evening, but forever.

  The thundering of her heart matched the thundering of the fireworks. Meredith couldn’t restrain herself any longer. She swiveled around and put her arms around Dani’s neck. The intense blue eyes gazing back answered her unspoken question. Meredith tilted her head back slightly in invitation. Dani leaned down and touched her lips gently to Meredith’s. With that hot chocolate feeling surging through her veins, Meredith pulled Dani closer and kissed her back. She had never felt anything like this ever before, and there was no question that Dani returned her kisses with matched emotion. When the two girls finally broke apart, Meredith ran her fingers through Dani’s hair and then rested her head on Dani’s shoulder.

  “Dani?” she said thickly.

  Dani cleared her throat. “Mmm?”

  “I hope that was okay.”

  Dani laughed shyly. “Uh, yeah, I...” She stopped as if trying to figure out what to say. She cleared her throat again before continuing. “I’ve kind of wanted to do that for a long time. Ever since we first came here to the old house. When I fell off the banister.”

  Meredith giggled, surprised. “It’s been that long?”

  “Yeah,” Dani said quietly. “But, I’m patient.”

  Meredith nuzzled against Dani’s neck and then pulled back so she could look Dani in the eye. “I guess I’m the slow learner this time. You were right there in front of me, and …”

  “Remember when you sort of held my hand at the Loca?” She nodded in the direction of their favorite Mexican Restaurant.

  “Yeah, that was kind of an accident.”

  “Accident, my eye. I almost stopped breathing right there in front of the mariachi band. And, remember when you did this to me outside the art room yesterday?” Dani brushed a lock of hair off of Meredith’s forehead.

  Meredith looked down embarrassed. “I, uh, wasn’t planning that. It just kind of happened.”

  “Well, I almost died. I wanted to kiss you so bad, but, c’mon, we were in the middle of the hallway. I think I knew at that moment that you had crossed over.”

  “Crossed over? Is that what we’re going to call this?” Meredith drank in the affection she saw reflected in Dani’s face.

  “I guess. It doesn’t matter though, Merry, because I really like you. I have for a long time.” Dani reached out and placed her hands on either side of Meredith’s face and kissed her again.

  Meredith returned the kiss. Her heart pounded in her chest while her stomach did excited flip-flops. When they reluctantly pulled away from each other, Meredith took a shaky breath. “Dani, I think...I think I really like you, too.” She put her head back on Dani’s shoulder, and it felt as if she belonged there. The fit was perfect. Dani wrapped her arms around her again.

  Meredith whispered, “You’ve made me feel more a part of the world than I’ve ever felt before. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I guess I always figured I’d fall in love with some guy. I never considered a…I never considered you.” Oh my God, did I just say fall in love? Oh, my God.

  Before Dani could say anything, Millie called up the stairs. “Hey, what’s going on up there? The fireworks have been over for five minutes, already.”

  Meredith grinned and whispered, “No, they haven’t. I think the fireworks just got started.”

  Dani matched her grin and said, “C’mon. Our grandmothers call.”

  “Don’t you dare say a word to them. I’m...I’m not ready yet.”

  “Your wish is my command, madam, but you’d better wipe that grin off your face or they’ll know instantly.” She waggled her eyebrows.

  Meredith walked down the stairs of the old house a very changed person.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Weasel

  MEREDITH AND DANI arrived at the old Victorian house about a half hour before Esther and Millie were supposed to arrive. They wanted to get to the house early enough to finish cleaning up after the open house the weekend before. Dani held the dustpan while Meredith swept the last of the debris into it. The kitchen was swept and ready for mopping.

  Dani picked up the now-full dustpan. “When did Esther say they were coming?”

  Meredith looked at her watch. “Oh, any minute now, I think. I wish we could have finished cleaning last weekend, but I don’t think any of us had the energy after taking the chairs and tables back on Sunday.” She pulled a bucket out of the kitchen closet and put it in the sink under the faucet. She turned on the hot water and added some floor cleaner she found under the sink.

  Dani flicked her head to get the hair out of her eyes. “Esther and Millie can’t do all this by themselves,” Dani agreed. “I didn’t have any time to get over here this week what with school and lacrosse and all. You know how it goes.”

  Meredith lifted the heavy mop bucket out of the sink and put it on the floor. “Mikey and I are so proud of you making the all-county lacrosse team.”

  “Thanks.” Dani looked at her, eyes sparkling. “It’s awesome. That Syracuse coach had better notice me now.”

  “Well, duh.”

  “With the team making the playoffs and open houses and a new girlfriend, I’m kind of worn out,” she said plaintively, teasing.

  Meredith smacked Dani playfully on the arm. “I can’t believe I’m somebody’s girlfriend. I never thought it would ever happen, but I like it. Miss Lassiter, one of these days we’ll have that talk about your old girlfriends, but for now at least have the decency to kiss me when you insult me.”

  “You really have crossed over to the wild side.” Dani grinned and pulled Meredith into an embrace as instructed. Meredith marveled at how amazing she felt in Dani’s arms. She felt like she had found a lifetime supply of hot chocolate.

  When they separated, Meredith said, “Mmm. That’s more like it. I think...I think I’m okay now with telling Esther and Millie.”

  “Yeah? Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, but not my folks. I’m not ready for that, yet. I mean, I think my mom probably knows, but I just want to wait. Le
t’s tell our grandmothers today.” Meredith looked down. “Could you do it? I don’t know if I can.”

  Dani smiled and said softly, “Okay. But let’s mop this floor before they get here.”

  Floor mopped and kitchen sparkling, Dani and Meredith sat on the steps of the front porch and waited for Esther and Millie to arrive. Meredith reached for Dani’s hand and held it tight.

  June was days away and the warm May weather leant promise to a comfortable summer ahead. During the past couple of months the yard had bloomed brightly with various colors. The delicate crocuses had come first but faded quickly. Next came the regal tulips and then the king of all flowers, the daffodils. Now, as if timed to keep the yard bursting with color, the azalea bushes bloomed bright. The fuchsia, red, pink, and white blossoms assured that summer was close. Meredith’s khaki shorts and red short-sleeved shirt with a tiny polo player on the front were also testaments to the warm and sunny day. She had taken to wearing the polo shirts since Dani said they looked good on her. In fact, Dani almost looked her twin with her own blue polo shirt and khaki shorts.

  When the Ford Taurus pulled into the driveway, Dani jumped off the porch and raced to the car. Meredith waved to them from the porch.

  Esther made her way slowly up the porch steps leaning on Dani’s arm. “Ah, my grandbabies. I wish we’d had you earlier. I guess fate brought us together when we needed you. Right, Millie?”

  “Yup.” Millie followed behind them and grabbed the banister railing. She gave it a good tug. “Good work, Dani. It’s rock solid.” She turned to Meredith and said with a grin, “I told you she was a good catch.”

  “Millie!” Esther glared at Millie.

  Meredith laughed. “Actually, Esther, it’s okay. She’s right.”

  “What?” Millie’s mouth dropped open.

  Esther slipped her arm out from Dani’s and negotiated the doorway by herself. This allowed Dani to grab Meredith’s hand. Dani grinned at Millie and said, “Uh, yeah Meredith crossed over to our side.”