“Come. People will be wondering why you’ve gone missing.” He said. “Plus, you’ve got another story to tell.”
I giggled. “Yeah. Like what’s the answer to ‘when’s the big date?’”
He smiled at me. “You can always say we haven’t spoken about it yet. You’ve just said ‘yes’ to me.”
I sighed. “Oh, yeah. I’m still in heaven. This is all a dream to me.”
When we rejoined the group once again, the first person I ran into was the very familiar groom.
“Astrid!” He beamed at me. “I am so glad you made it!”
Liar!
But I smiled at him. Ryder squeezed my hand encouragingly.
“I’m glad I made it too.” I said bravely.
He stared at me for a while and then he looked over at Ryder.
I realized that I have to introduce them… and then kill myself later probably, but for now, formalities first.
“Am… swee… sweetheart, this is Bryan, the groom. Bryan… this is Ryder Woodson.”
“Your date?” Bryan asked still looking at Ryder.
Ryder extended his hand to him. “Ryder Van Woodsen.” Ryder corrected me. “Her… fiancé.” He said.
In spite of my surprise that Ryder changed his surname, I didn’t miss the shocked expression on Bryan’s face.
“Wh… what?” He stuttered, not comprehending.
“That’s right, Bryan.” I said, keeping my voice steady.
“Wow! That was fast.” He murmured under his breath, looking at me grudgingly.
“Apparently, still a lot slower than you.” I said to him.
It didn’t take long before Geena came up behind Bryan.
“There you are!” She said hugging her husband from behind, pretending to be oblivious of us… well of me, because I already saw her looking at Ryder as she approached us.
“Honey.” Bryan said putting an arm around her.
“This is Ryder Van Woodsen. Apparently, he’s Astrid’s fiancé.”
Geena looked at me for the first time. The insulting shock on her face made me want to slap her in front of her husband. Did she think I couldn't score a guy like Ryder?
Well, they both know me too well. They know I thought rich, cute boys were given fortune and good looks because they were lacking in the IQ department. Maybe Geena and Bryan couldn’t believe I somehow chose to conjure a Ken doll to life and brought him to their wedding… and he took his expensive, shiny car with him!
“How long have you known each other?” Geena asked.
“Two months.” Ryder answered quickly. He pulled me closer to him, wrapping a possessive arm around my waist. He looked down at me with affection in his eyes. “I cannot wait to make her mine forever.”
“Well, she’s good at the waiting game.” Bryan snorted quietly but loud enough for Ryder and me to hear.
“I can wait as long as it takes.” Ryder said. “She’s definitely worth it.”
Though Ryder doesn’t know what Bryan was getting at, I knew just exactly what he meant. I smiled bravely at Bryan. “I changed a lot since the day I found out you knocked up my cousin! I told myself that the next time I find a wonderful guy, I’m going to seize the day! No more waiting games.” I said, trying to keep myself cool. Then I turned to Geena. “Congratulations on your wedding. I can’t really say it’s… original, but you pulled it off. You should be proud of yourselves. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to retreat to our suite so we can celebrate our engagement privately.”
I started pulling Ryder away.
“You rented a suite here?” Geena asked.
I turned back to her and nodded.
“Yes. The Paradise Suite. I was told it was the most romantic suite they have.” Ryder replied.
Geena couldn’t help giving Bryan a hard look that almost said, Why didn’t we get that instead?
“We don’t need the most romantic suite.” Bryan said, as if reading Geena’s mind. “My wife is pregnant. Nothing can be more joyous than that.”
Somehow, I felt that that comment is for me. Bryan knew how much I adored babies and children! I smiled at them, refusing to be defeated. “Oh, is that why you got married so hastily?”
Geena blushed violently and I could tell there was some truth in my words at least.
“We got married because we’re in love!” She hissed at me.
I smiled at them and I placed my left hand on my chest, so she won’t miss the sparkle of my new ring.
“Oh!” I sighed sarcastically. “Well, I can say that’s a relief!”
She stared at the ring on my finger and then raised a brow at me. I can almost see the lust in her eyes.
“It’s lovely isn’t it?” I asked her. “Anyway, good luck with your life together. I think you’re both going to need a lot of that! Ta-ta!”
I whirled around and pulled Ryder with me. We went straight for the exit without saying goodbye to my relatives.
I was holding Ryder’s hand tightly, afraid that if I let go of him, I would not be able to support my own weight.
“Honey…” He started. I didn’t respond. I kept on walking and dragging him with me. “Honey!” He called out louder this time around. He actually stopped walking and pulled me towards him.
I was afraid I was going to slip but he caught me spot on, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me against him.
I closed my eyes as I buried my face on his chest. I felt him hold me tightly. I cried silently in his arms, as he caressed my head gently, whispering soothing words in my ears.
“You're doing great.” He whispered to me.
“I was, until I saw them.” I snorted.
“Even when you saw them.” He said. “He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
I giggled humorlessly. “He couldn’t believe I had the nerve to show up here tonight.”
“He couldn’t believe he let you go. That’s what I see from the look on his face. Trust me, I'm good at reading people.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. “Did I do the right thing? Letting him go? He did try to explain himself and get me back, asking for another chance… but I shoved all the wedding details in his face. I didn’t give him a second chance.”
“He doesn’t deserve a second chance. You deserved better.” He said stiffly. I realized, Bryan was somehow getting on Ryder’s nerves.
I couldn’t help feeling… flattered about that.
“I want to forget it all, Ryder.” I whispered to him. “I want to forget them! I want to stop feeling the hurt and the pain.”
He smiled and pinched my nose. “You can’t cheat the healing process.”
“Really? There’s no bypassing this the fastest way possible? I mean, what can take the pain away?”
He sighed. “Time.” He whispered softly, I could swear I heard notes of longing and regret in his dulcet tones.
“There’s no way to fast forward it?”
He shook his head. “You can forget it tonight, but I can’t promise you that you won’t still feel heartbroken in the morning.”
I smiled. “Okay. If only for tonight, Ryder. Help me forget.”
He laughed and put an arm around my shoulders. “Come on then, we have an engagement to celebrate.”
Chapter Eight
THE WEDDING NIGHT: The first night as husband and wife.
If torn between the much-needed sleep and passionate lovemaking, keep this in mind: You only have ONE wedding night! Make it memorable. Make it count!
Everything was dark and hazy. I opened my eyes and the first thing I felt was the blinding pain in my head.
I opened my eyes and saw light peeking through the curtains. I don’t feel cold like I usually do when I wake up in the mornings. Normally, an image of Bryan pops up in my head when I wake up, reminding me of my broken heart.
This time it was different. This time, the first image that popped up in my head was that of a much more handsome guy. His eyes were deep ocean green, his hair, raven black. He looked like a
wonderful Adonis drawn out from the pages of a historical novel. His face was perfect. His body… his abs were perfect, his muscles well-toned, his skin flawless.
Hey! Go back one second! I thought to myself. How did I know how perfect and well-toned his muscles were? How did I know his skin was flawless?
I closed my eyes once again, trying to recollect the memories of last night.
I remembered that the room he rented for us was perfect. It was twice the size of the room I booked for Bryan and myself… which was now being occupied by Bryan and Geena a floor below us. There were roses everywhere and we celebrated my victorious show with a bottle of wine. Then I remembered all the crying and whining. I had a physical yearning to forget everything, and the only way to do that was to drink… and drink, and drink some more. I don't think I've ever had so much alcohol in my entire life!
There were flashes of … images in my head. But they were blurry and they were coming back to me very slowly.
I had felt as if all my nerves had come to life. I remember feeling bolder than I've ever felt. I remembered flirting with him, within the confines of our room, not caring what he would say or think. I remembered letting go of everything I was holding on to. Everything that I had been afraid of.
I remembered touching him… in places I haven’t touched Bryan. I remember letting him touch me, in places no one has ever touched me before. Then I remembered… the ripping pain, and the pleasure that came afterward.
I opened my eyes. My heart pounded wildly in my ribcage.
Did I just dream it all?
Slowly, I peeked under the sheets and I realized in horror that… everything I remembered were not just figments of my imaginative mind. I am not that creative in that department!
I turned my head to my left side and found Ryder lying flat on his tummy. His eyes were open and he was watching me carefully.
He smiled at me lazily. “You weren’t dreaming.” He whispered, as if he read my thoughts.
I sighed. “I was afraid of that.”
He bit his lip. I guess he wanted to say something but decided against it.
He reached forward and caressed my chin gently.
“Do you still hurt?” He asked very softly.
I shook my head and I knew I turned the deepest shade of red.
“Now you probably think Bryan was right to cheat on me.” I muttered.
“No.” He whispered. There was a sense of tenderness in his voice.
I was still skeptical. “What do you think then?”
He took a deep breath and said, “I think he was foolish not to wait.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks. That makes me feel better!”
He propped up on one elbow and then he said, “It should make you feel better, because it’s the truth, Astrid.”
“Easy for you to say, Ryder. I avoided all advances from him but I easily threw myself at you last night!”
He didn’t say anything. He just kept staring at me.
It was true. I did throw myself at him last night. I was the one who began touching him provocatively. I remember he was trying to avoid some of my earlier advances. He was trying to be the gentleman but I was more persistent.
I threw my hands on my face. I felt so ashamed of myself.
“God, what have I done?” I whispered.
I heard him sigh and then I felt him take me in his arms.
“You made love to me, and it was amazing, Astrid! I refuse to regret it no matter what you say or do! I will not feel sorry about last night. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”
I pulled away from him. Then I turned my back on him. I don’t have the courage or the face to look at him yet.
“We better go.” I said curtly.
I heard him sigh but he didn’t say anything more.
I went to the shower and had a long bath. I wanted to cry, but the tears just wouldn’t come. I wanted to remember my dream of giving myself to Bryan months ago. But all I can think of is Ryder, touching me, loving me, making love to me... I remember his fleeting, feather-light touches around my face and neck, his eyes staring into mine, the incredulous look on his face when he had felt the barrier of my innocence. I remember screaming his name over and over as I reached the realms of pleasure. He brought me to heaven twice and I clung to him with all that I am. I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling all those things. I didn’t know I could be sexual. I didn’t know I could want a man the way I wanted him last night… or the way I think I still want him now.
When I got out of the shower, I was dressed in a long robe, fully covered.
Ryder came past me on his way to the bathroom. He was wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist, his abs in my view, and I couldn’t help the desire that reeled through me again.
He stopped and stared at me for a long moment. I couldn’t move as I stare back at him. He raised a brow at me. Somehow, he looked irritated, like he was stopping himself from saying or doing something.
Great! The first guy I ever made love to is irritated with me already… after just one night! I thought glumly.
He narrowed his eyes, as if he was trying to decipher something in my expression. Then he shook his head slightly and went into the bathroom.
I felt frustrated. Last night, he was the perfect knight in shining armor. He came to my rescue graciously, and absorbed every shock, every pain for me. Somehow all that changed this morning. Somehow, I see something in his eyes that resembles cold fury, as if I said or did something that offended him.
I have no way of knowing if Ryder slept with me because he wanted me for real. If I weren’t writing him a check, I’d probably believe he did. And Adam was right. I don’t know Ryder at all. He looks like a god and he knows it. I don’t know how often he has sex with a woman who throws herself at him. He probably made love to me because he thought it was part of our bargain.
I quickly dressed and then I placed his final check on the table.
I laughed humorlessly because right now, I felt like an old, lonely matron, paying for a younger, handsome guy to pleasure me!
Tears rolled down my cheeks and I know I couldn’t bear to face Ryder like that. He’ll try to make me feel better again, and I have had enough pretensions to last me a lifetime. All the pretences we put up with last night were enough, thank you very much! I couldn’t bear to have him look at me with sincere, admiring eyes, knowing I paid him to do that. I came here on a mission and he helped me accomplish it. But it’s over now.
He came out of the bathroom.
“Here’s the rest of your payment.” I said to him. I placed a pair of sunglasses over my eyes. I didn’t want him to see just how painful this was all for me. “I’ll meet you at the lobby. I’ll see Nicole and probably say goodbye to my parents.”
He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me. His face was cold. Other than that, I couldn’t make out the expression on his face.
“Will you ask the bellboy to bring my bag downstairs?”
He nodded once. Still he didn’t say anything.
“Okay, I’ll see you later.” I hesitated, but when he made no move to stop me, I left the room.
I dialed Nicole’s number. I hope she didn’t go home last night. I desperately needed someone to talk to.
“It’s too early!” She groaned.
“Where are you?” I asked.
She gave me her room number and I rushed to it. Within a few minutes, I was banging on her door.
“What is wrong with you?” She asked angrily.
“Nothing.” I replied coming into the room. Somehow, her room seemed small, as I compare it to the room I shared with Ryder.
“Where’s Ryder?” She asked.
“In our room.” I replied.
Her eyes widened. “You spent the night in one room?”
I nodded. “He rented the Paradise Suite.” I said.
“That’s expensive.”
“I know. But I think the ten grand should cover it.”
I made a
cup of coffee and then we sat on her balcony.
“You guys were great last night, Ash.” Nicole said smiling. “You really did look genuinely in love with each other. You were every girl’s envy last night.”
I sighed. “I envy myself last night.” I murmured.
Nicole laughed. “I know. You couldn’t help wishing it was true. That you really are in that… state already. Except that you still hurt.”
Knight in Shining Suit: Get Up. Get Even. Get a better man. Page 11