Wild Cards

by R. C. Stephens

  “Yes. I’m safe with you, Luc,” I confirmed. He shrugged his shoulders.

  “Weren’t you listening to what I just told you, I’m dangerous. I’m haunted. I’m not what you need,” he said, shaking his head from side to side.

  “How do you know what I need?” I asked feeling irritated with him. I hadn’t told him anything about myself and he didn’t press, but he didn’t know shit about my problems.

  He lifted both hands in the air. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I won’t push, not tonight. I want to know what makes you look sad all the time. And you’re wrong, Vicky, I do know what you need. You need love. I just don’t know if I am capable of giving you what you need,” he sighed and let out a long breath. He stepped off the bed and walked over to the closet. A moment later he came out holding a sheet and a plush blanket that he began to spread out on the floor.

  “You can sleep in bed with me, I’m not scared of you,” I said looking down at him.

  “I know you aren’t scared, not much seems to scare you and that worries me. It’s me that is scared, Vicky. I would feel better on the floor,” he said, and I knew there was no point in arguing with him. He got under the sheet and lay with his hands on his abdomen.

  I pulled the covers over me and smelled the fresh masculine scent of his sheets. They smelled of Luc and that made butterflies dance in my stomach. Had he moved into bed beside me, I probably would have wanted to jump his bones, needing to feel a connection with him. The truth was that I had been going to parties in search of sex. Needing to find a connection and drown out my loneliness. Tonight was different. Tonight I found an intense man, and we had a serious conversation. For some reason, that felt so much deeper than sex ever did.

  “Luc,” I called out into the dark room.

  “Yes,” he answered with a thick rasp in his voice.

  “I had a normal childhood. We were a happy family. My older brother watched out for me in school and when we came home at the end of the day, my mama waited with open arms and a bright smile. I had a good life. I did well in school. My parents were hard workers. My mama was a waitress and my father drove a delivery truck. We were a simple and happy family. I dated my high school sweetheart, and when I went off to university, we stayed together because I was still in town. He was going to become a mechanic. We saw each other some evenings and weekends. He was my go-to person. Then I came home for Thanksgiving and everything was off. I sensed something was wrong but no one was talking. Finally, my mother admitted she had a tumor in her brain and that the doctors gave her three months to live. It was hard to accept. She was my best friend my whole life. I had always wanted a sister growing up and she was everything rolled up into a perfect package.

  “A few days after I found out about her illness, I ran to Jamie and I caught him screwing another girl. That was probably my first blow, the first chink in my armor. He made me question myself and he made it hard to trust anyone. My mama began to deteriorate quickly, and I had no control over what was happening. There was nothing for me to do. I dropped out of the engineering program and spent every day by her side, watching the life slowly getting sucked from her. Only the progression wasn’t slow. It was like one minute she was smiling and the next it was her last smile. The same with words, one minute she could speak and the next she couldn’t. It was hard to accept. A part of me couldn’t accept it.

  “My father began to drink and he became useless. My brother went back to university because it was important to my mother, and he didn’t want to disappoint her. I had many moments of despair with no one to lean on. I allowed myself to go into town and drown my own sorrows. That’s where I met Nessa. You will meet her; she is a great girl. My best friend, she introduced me to the sex clubs and they made a dark world feel a little brighter for brief moments. The weekend my mother died, I felt like I was suffocating. The doctors said three months to live, I never thought it would be sooner. I had spent my days holed up in the house taking care of my mother and watching my father drink himself into a stupor. I had to get away because I feared losing my sanity. That’s when I went home with Scott. I returned to Thunder Bay more damaged than when I had left. Scott broke me completely. I required medical attention after, and I went to the hospital to get stitched up. When I came home and realized my mama had passed, the darkness only grew deeper. My father bailed out on us. Jamie bailed out on me and Joe was stuck inside himself.

  “I said to myself that if this was what love was all about, I didn’t want it. Now I realize how wrong I was. Love can break you, Luc, but it can also be the best part of you. I chose to focus on the darkness these last couple of years, but I forgot about the light. I forgot about all the good times we shared. As mad as I was at my father, I now understand that my mother was his life and without his life around him, he didn’t want to live. That is true love, Luc, that isn’t abandonment. It’s real and it’s worthy.” As I said the last words Luc climbed off the floor and crawled into bed beside me, snuggling me into him. He didn’t say anything, but I knew he was listening. “I know I have been scared to trust, but if I use my father as an example I know he was the most loyal man to my mother. He loved her so deeply.”

  “I’m a loyal man too,” his husky voice brushed my ear and I quivered.

  I closed my eyes, “I know.”

  I let out a contented sigh, feeling like the world was a little lighter and feeling grateful to Luc for warming my heart back from its frozen state. Suddenly I realized that my purse was in the coat check. I usually read Mama’s letter every night before I closed my eyes, but I figured my stuff was safe downstairs and my anxiety subsided. Instead I closed my eyes. Luc thought I should fear him, what he didn’t realize was that I felt safe having this broken ogre beside me. I knew he would protect me if need be and something about that thought was fulfilling. I watched the light seep through the door of the master en-suite. I could still hear the thrum of music throughout the house and shadows passing by the door and despite everything, I felt peaceful. I knew if he opened up to me the way he did that he wanted to try to be with me for the long haul, and now I wanted the same thing. The revelation scared me and warmed me.

  As sleep overtook me I dreamed of Mama, making her pizza and Joe as a little boy. I must have been asleep for a couple of hours when I heard a banging sound. The apartment was quiet. The music stopped and the sounds of lust and moving bodies ceased. It took me a minute to pull myself out of my dream and gauge my surroundings to see where the banging noise was coming from. As I opened my eyes, I saw Luc thrashing violently beside me; it looked like he was living in his own personal hell. I quietly called his name but he didn’t wake. I didn’t know which angle to nudge him at since his strong arms were flailing about, and I didn’t want him to accidentally knock into me, the guy was living with enough guilt as it was.

  “Luc,” I shouted a little louder, but there was no response. “Luc,” I called out even louder, still no response. Whatever he was dreaming about was intense enough to pull him under. I leaned over to where his head was resting on the pillow and tried to tame down his muscular arms and stop his head from thrashing. As I caressed his forehead lightly I began to sing a lullaby my mama sang to me when I woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream. Slowly he began to calm down and moments later his eyelids flicked open. Looking at him from this angle, I got to see how handsome he really was with thick eyelashes, a wide set jaw, and sharp nose. He was so masculine and perfect. As I caressed the stubble on his cheeks he looked up to me with a guilty grin.

  “Was I having a nightmare?” he asked, as if he already knew the answer.

  “Yes, you want to talk about it?” I smiled softly.

  “Are you a therapist?” he grinned shyly.

  “No, but I want to help you if I can.”

  “You have the voice of an angel,” he sighed. “I dream about hurting Alexis. Because I don’t remember the night I hurt her, I dream of different scenarios where I lose control and beat her. Or I dream that Henri shoots he
r and not me,” he admitted shamefully. I felt guilty that maybe telling me his story dredged up the bad memories for him.

  “Oh, Luc.” I wrapped my arms around him.

  “Is this okay?” I asked not wanting to make him feel worse from the contact.

  “Yes,” he sighed, “it’s more than okay,” I leaned in and put my head on his shoulder and he didn’t flinch.

  “Is this okay?”

  “It’s more than okay, Vicky, I don’t know how you walked into my life, probably at a time when I was feeling the most alone, but I am grateful to the stars above that you did,” he said, kissing the top of my head. His words penetrated me. Feeling needed by him makes me want to get even closer. Was I lacking love so much that I had turned into a cold shell of a person? I had locked my emotions down in fear of falling apart. I began to wonder if I had it all wrong, or maybe I was just waiting to meet him to understand my pain. Maybe I was waiting to meet him to begin living again. What I had been doing wasn’t really living; it was getting by day by day, the only way I knew how. I closed my eyes and drifted off to a peaceful sleep wrapped in warm caring arms.

  Chapter 18

  Vicky

  The alarm on my cell phone went off. I needed to get ready for work. I slowly tried to squirm out of Luc’s arms and he began to wake up too. The room was pitch black and I would have liked nothing more than to fall back asleep. As much as I felt emotionally exhausted, I was also feeling a little lighter that morning.

  He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead and stood up. That’s all I get? Really?

  “You had your tongue shoved down that redhead's mouth. Didn’t that scare you?” I didn’t mean to come off as sounding irritated, but my sexual frustration was growing especially with sleeping in such close proximity to him. I couldn’t help but feel his morning boner pressing into my behind.

  “Vicky this place was jam packed with people last night. If I lost control, there would have been enough men here to put me in my place. Besides I told you I was good,” he said with a cocky grin.

  “So why don’t you show me how good you are?” I called out to him as he stretched out his arms. His shirt lifted up giving me a nice view of a happy trail, I’d like to see more.

  “I will show you, you can count on it…but not yet. I won’t let you use this thing between us to numb your pain, or whatever it is that you do. I want you to see this as a deep connection, not a temporary fix. I refuse to be your temporary fix,” he said, walking off to the bathroom.

  My lips turned down as he closed the bathroom door, I’m not used to being rejected. A moment later I heard the toilet flush then the sound of running water. He must be taking a shower.

  I peeled myself out of bed and walked into his master en-suite bathroom. It was the size of my bedroom back home. Luckily the toilet had a private room and I stepped inside to relieve my bladder. When I was done I stepped out. Glass doors surrounded the shower and Luc had them all steamed up, preventing me from a clear view of his naked form. I pulled his large white t-shirt over my head and sauntered over to the shower door. Luc was facing the wall and was rinsing shampoo from his head. I stepped into the shower but his eyes were still closed. I closed the shower door quietly and hugged him from behind.

  He flinched, “Shit, Vicky what are you doing?” he asked, swinging around and opening his eyes. I didn’t answer and as his eyes roamed over my body, the gold flecks in them turned to smoldering flames, as his large cock stood to attention. I’m hoping he would reach forward and claim my lips or maybe touch my breasts, but he did neither. Instead he brought me in by the shoulders and put me in front of the multiple shower jets. It felt like a delicious massage against my sore bones. Then he bent down and picked up the shampoo and began to build lather in my hair.

  “You are going to wash my hair?” I asked with a shocked tone. That wasn’t what I was expecting him to do. Not with the raging hard on he had.

  “Yes…I’m going to take care of you, there are other ways to show affection outside of sex,” he explained, as his fingers massaged my scalp in a sensuous circular motion. When he was done I rinsed out my hair and he passed me the body wash.

  “What? I don’t get a full body massage?” I asked, cocking my head to the side with a sardonic grin.

  He threw his head back laughing. “If I did that I would have you pinned to the wall with my dick buried inside you in under thirty seconds.”

  My nipples hardened at the delicious thought. Luc’s eyes dropped to my breasts, noticing the clear signs of my arousal. He growled, shook his head, and stepped out of the shower.

  “Hey, we’re not done in here,” I called out with a light chuckle.

  Luc just shook his head and wrapped a towel around his waist, giving me a nice view of his broad chest, that delicious tattoo, and an abdomen sculpted for an exercise magazine.

  Chapter 19

  Vicky

  After I left Luc’s penthouse, I had gone back down to my apartment to change into one of the few conservative outfits I brought with me on this trip. The same pencil grey skirt with a simple black top and of course the Jimmy Choo’s. Luc wasn’t willing to cave into sex, but I could tear his walls down bit by bit.

  When I got downstairs at nine a.m., Bryce had Derek, his driver, waiting for me. I had declined Luc’s offer to give me a ride. I didn’t need Bryce thinking there was something between us. At Tyson Towers I got onto the elevator with warm butterflies swimming in my stomach. A part of me worried that I was too anxious to see Luc again after we had only parted this morning. I knew something major was happening between us, and at this point I also knew that I couldn’t pull away from him, but those revelations didn’t ease my old anxieties about falling in love.

  Walking up to the secretary’s desk, I paused and smiled. “Hi. Good morning.” I continued walking past her desk toward my new office. My office, shit it didn’t even seem real. New York felt more like a farfetched dream every passing day. Every aspect, including Bryce’s warm welcome, my new apartment, and Luc, were too good to be true.

  My cell phone vibrated in my purse and I pulled it out to see a message from Bryce. I hadn’t heard from him since yesterday afternoon.

  Vicky I would like to come by your office this afternoon, I will bring lunch with me.

  In my mind I did a happy dance that he was making the effort to get to know me like he promised. I replied to his text,

  Thanks that sounds great.

  As I typed the last word with a silly grin on my face, Luc walked into my office with a questioning look. “That was Bryce, he is coming by my office for lunch today,” I explained.

  “Good, I am happy for you, Vicky,” he said with the right side of his lip tugging up at the corner. “I wanted to let you know that I spoke to the party planner about Scott. I feel like I should have predicted that he would show up to a party to look for you. The party planner said he had a clean record and he apologizes. He asked if you wanted to press charges?” he asked watching me intently. Speaking of Scott caused my chest to constrict.

  “What do you think?” I asked Luc.

  “I don’t think you should press charges. By the sounds of it I don’t think he is mentally all there and if he goes to jail he can hold a vendetta against you. As it is he was stalking you, so he isn’t a person you want to upset. I think you should let me take care of him,” he explained and my jaw dropped. When he realized what he’d said he began to laugh really hard. I didn’t think I had ever heard a laugh come out of him. It was a beautiful sound.

  “That’s not what I meant, Vicky. I am not going to kill the guy. Geez.” He shook his head.

  “I’m sorry, you are ex-mafia. When you said take care of him that was the first thing that came to mind.” I raised my right brow and gave my head a little tilt like I was justified for thinking it.

  “I’m not killing anybody but I will ensure your safety,” he reassured me.

  “Okay then I trust you,” I replied.

  Luc gives me a quick ki
ss on the lips. “Thank you. So for the car plant let me go over the plans with you and see what you can come up with, also as an intern you will need to spend time at the plant itself. Since Bryce has placed you under my authority, you can act as my assistant as well. It will be a good opportunity for you to learn the ropes. There is a company shuttle downstairs that can drive you to the plant. There is a schedule at the main desk. Bryce mentioned no special treatment,” Luc grinned, eyeing me hungrily as his eyes danced with amusement. His gaze caused warmth to rise in my chest and I knew it would be tough working beside him and controlling my body’s reaction to him. “So the main focus for the office work will be coming up with a formula for a battery that will have a long lasting lifetime without the need for regular recharge. Given the amount of recharge stations in most metropolitan cities around the world, this is the biggest challenge in our industry…” Luc went on to explain. I loved watching him explain the schematics and listening to how passionate he was about the project.

  I now understood why Bryce had put him in charge. He’s brilliant and he had come up with some breakthroughs of his own with the structure and weight of the car. It made me think of the roller coaster I built back home when I was in high school. There were so many factors that had to be considered before we got it up and running. Luc finally headed back to his office and I buried myself in a computer programming site, trying to come up with solutions and researching different options. I hadn’t paid attention to the time until my phone rang that it was already three o’clock.

  Bryce said he would come by for lunch but I didn’t know what time he considered lunchtime. Given who he was and how busy he was I didn’t want to hold it against him. He was kind enough to give me a place to stay and a job, even though I had no idea how much money I made and I was hoping to return his credit card to him.