Too Hexy For Her Wand

by Susan Hayes

  There was a knock a few seconds later. The moment she opened the door, it was like the last thirteen years vanished and she was a girl seeing her best friend again.

  “Breeze!”

  “Fern!” They grinned at each other for a second, and then they were hugging each other and babbling like the kids they’d once been.

  “Oh, and this is my mate, Connell. And you remember Snuffy Wuffles the Turd, my familiar,” Breeze said when they finally let go of each other.

  Fern turned and waved to the raccoon. “I do remember you. Thank you for watching out for Shazzy while I was gone, Snuffy.” Then she looked at Breeze’s mate. He had shoulder-length red hair, a confident smile, and a body so hot he could probably set a forest on fire just by walking into it. He also looked strangely familiar. “Hi.”

  “Welcome home, Fern.” The man’s delicious brogue was thick enough you could slather it on toast and call it breakfast. It also made her realize where she knew him from.

  “Thank you. Um, forgive me for asking, but aren’t you that actor from the time-travelling highlander show?”

  Connell smirked. “Ye noticed the resemblance then? I’m not him, no. Same clan, different career choices.”

  Breeze shot him a look. “You never told me that!”

  “You never noticed the similarities.”

  “Do you want to come inside and have a coffee while we talk?” Fern interjected.

  “We could. Or you could walk over to our place.” Breeze winked. “I have an espresso machine.”

  “And you are now my bestest friend in the whole world. Mine’s in storage right now, and I would kill for a cappuccino.”

  “I was a barista before I moved back here. Come on, I’ll brew us up some real coffee. You’re going to need all the fortification you can get. Is your memory coming back yet? How about your magic?”

  “My memory is returning, but it’s still a little jumbled. My magic…” She paused and thought about how to answer that. Orion had mentioned Breeze’s magic had been messed with. She didn’t want to hurt her friend by just blabbing that hers was fine, and always had been, but she also needed to know that Fern could handle herself against whatever they would face soon. “I don’t think it was affected the same way yours was. I still have all my powers.”

  “You do?” Breeze looked stunned and then wounded. “I guess that was just me then.”

  “Actually, you have your magic because of me, Fern. Baba Yaga wasn’t part of that decision.”

  Tiff-Tiff. Anger and hurt welled up inside her, the power of it overwhelming and unfamiliar. Before she knew it, deep green flames blazed to life around her fingers and flowed up her arms. She pitched her voice to carry, her words holding more venom than a sack full of vipers. “Aunt Tiffany. Why the hell are you here? I thought I told you I’d talk to you when I was ready.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Not even Orion’s orgasmic muffins had bought her enough emotional bandwidth to deal with her aunt right now. She hadn’t so much as laid eyes on her aunt, yet, and she was ready to throw down like she was headlining a pay-per-view wrestling match.

  Connell took one look at her blazing fingers and moved Breeze out of the line of fire. Behind them was Tiffany—a picture of elegance and… guilt? Yep, that was guilt in her expression, along with a gratifying dose of wariness.

  Her aunt was holding tightly to Greg’s hand, and the big bear Shifter gave Tiff an encouraging nod. “Tell her.”

  Tiffany swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Fern. I know you’re dealing with a lot right now, and I haven’t done much to help you with any of that, but you need to hear the rest of it.”

  Fern’s stomach felt like it was full of seasick butterflies, but that didn’t change anything. If Tiffany thought it was important enough to risk getting blasted bald, she should listen to her. Even if she really didn’t want to. Damn, being a mature adult was exhausting. “Okay. If I have to know, I have to know. But by the Goddess, this better be the last surprise for a while or there will be an earth-shattering kaboom moment in my immediate future.”

  Tiffany smiled a little at that. “You’re strong enough to deal with anything the universe throws at you, including this. Baba Yaga hid your memories and dampened your magic. She did it before you were brought to me, and we worked the last bit of the spell together, so you wouldn’t remember meeting your Aunt Tiffany, but you would believe that Tiff-Tiff was your familiar.”

  “So, she knew about that?”

  “She knew. It was your parents’ plan, and she helped make it happen. But afterward, you didn’t adjust very well. I had to uh…make some adjustments.”

  Shazzy hissed and Breeze gasped in horror. “You messed with someone else’s mind magic? Are you insane?”

  Tiffany hung her head. “Fern was miserable. She was such an emotional girl, and while she couldn’t remember anything clearly, she was still sad. You cried all the time, Fern. You wouldn’t eat or try to make new friends. I had to do something.”

  She was emotional? Since when? Until recently, she’d bounced through life like a Teflon coated kangaroo. In fact, she hadn’t started feeling all the feels until Baba Yaga’s birthday ambush. Fuck. “What. Did. You. Do?”

  “I gave you back your magic, for one thing. There was no way you were going to make it in a place like the Maple and Marzipan Academy for Young Witches without all your abilities. Then I uh…I tried to dial down your emotions a little. Just so you wouldn’t feel everything so deeply. It was only supposed to be temporary, but well, it sort of stuck, and I was afraid to try and fix it in case I made it worse. I’m so sorry, Fern. I didn’t mean to. I was doing my best to take care of you.”

  “So all those times you encouraged me to get in touch with my feelings. All those gurus we went to? The retreats and hot yoga?” They’d only done that once, and she still had nightmares about the stench.

  “Was me trying to undo what I did,” Tiff admitted, still staring at the ground. “I’m really sorry.”

  To Fern’s surprise, Breeze stepped over and grabbed her hand. “You should be sorry! Mind magic is tricky. What if you’d messed her up forever?” She gasped. “Oh, Goddess. Did you? I mean, is it permanent? Did you break my friend before I even got her back?”

  Tiffany glanced up with a stricken expression. “I don’t know. It was only supposed to last a few months. I think it got tangled up with the original spell, the one repressing your memories. If you are starting to remember, hopefully everything will return to normal.”

  Shaz growled and came to stand at her side, and both Snuffy and Connell moved closer. Fern was more than grateful for their support, but as upset as she was, she could see Tiffany was torn up about what she’d done. Crap. What a time to regain her sense of empathy for others. It was the only reason her aunt wasn’t currently sporting a lime-green mohawk and a forked tongue.

  Her fingers twitched with the urge to make it happen, anyway. But…no. Tiffany had been there for her, and whatever mess she’d made, she did it with the best of intentions.

  Fern blew out a breath and let her magic subside. Maturity really sucked all the fun out of life. “Considering how angry and hurt I am right now, I’d say my emotions are coming back, which is a mixed blessing for you. I think I’m going to be okay, but that means I’m beyond angry at you right now, Tiff-Tiff. I’m so royally pissed I should be sporting a crown and speaking with a posh British accent.”

  “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that you’re mad at me,” Tiff smiled a little, though her eyes were sad. “I’ve been dreading this conversation for years, but I couldn’t tell you what I’d done because of that ball-gagged Baba Yaga spell I told you about.”

  Greg grinned and murmured something in Tiffany’s ear, and her aunt blushed crimson and swatted the big man on the arm. “Behave, teddy bear. Now is not the time for that.”

  Snuffy and Shaz both groaned in horror.

  “No more. Please. I’m going to need therapy as it is,” Shaz caterwauled.
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br />   “No, actually. I think Greg’s got a good idea.” Fern made a shooing motion toward them both. “Go. Do wild, kinky things to each other. Just…stay away from me for a bit, okay? I need some time to process this. Unless there’s something else you need to tell me first?”

  “That’s it.” Tiffany turned to go.

  A thought occurred to Fern. “Hang on. Quick question. My trust fund. Was that your money I was spending?”

  “It was. We set it up that way. Safer than having you access your own money. That would have left a paper trail for Frellshingle to follow.”

  A little more of her anger faded. Not all of it, but enough she was no longer trying to figure out if Tiffany would look worse with green or orange hair. “Well, thanks for the loan. If I survive all this, I’ll take a look at the accounts and make sure we’re square.”

  Tiffany waved a hand negligently. “Don’t worry about it. Your investment-sense more than paid off what you spent. Your trust fund was just a small part of my wealth. I had my people replicate whatever you did to that account across my holdings and your parents’. You made us all a shit-tonne of money.”

  Breeze gasped. “Fern, you’re rich?”

  “Apparently.” And her credit rating would remain untouched. Glory be the Goddess, she could shop again when this was over!

  “Does Orion know that?” Breeze asked.

  “It didn’t come up. Besides, what would it matter to him? It’s not like we’re dating.” She wasn’t opposed to the idea. He was handsome, sweet, and had toe-curling talents. But that wasn’t how it worked with Shifters. The only one they’d settle down with was their mate, so falling for Orion was a bad idea. She’d only have her heart broken when he found the woman he was destined for. Probably a nice she-wolf he could have babies with.

  Whoa. The very idea filled her with seething jealousy, and dark sparks flared around her hands for a second before she got herself under control again. This emotional thing was playing merry fucking havoc with her head. There was no reason she should be jealous over Orion. One night did not a relationship make. Not even a very memorable night with a man who made the best muffins on the planet. Nope.

  She was so caught up with the madness inside her own mind that it took her a moment to notice that both Breeze and Connell were looking at her funny.

  “What?” she asked them.

  Breeze shook her head, but her lips were quirked into a tiny smile. “Nothing you need to worry about right now.”

  Connell looked down at Snuffy, and she swore the pair of them were…clucking? Whatever. She’d already reached her maximum levels of weirdness for the day and it wasn’t even noon yet. At this rate she was going to need ice cream with her next coffee just to cope.

  Fern mentally regrouped and returned her attention to Tiff. “Okay. Glad to hear I’m not in debt up to my ass. The rest…” She waved her hands. “Is more than I can deal with right now. So, it would be best if I didn’t see you for a bit. I have a town to save and that takes precedence over figuring out how we’re going to get through this family crisis. So, go boff the bear.” She grinned a little as another emotion made itself known. “And congratulations, by the way. I’m still mad, but I’m happy for you.”

  “Thank you.” Tiffany almost glowed as she smiled up at Greg. “I was worried you’d want me to go away and never come back, and well…Greg’s life is here.”

  “Another witch in the coven would be good for everyone,” Fern said, and was surprised to realize she meant it.

  “Oh no. That’s not how it works. The legacy of protecting this place is inherited from your mother’s side. I can’t help you with that. Not directly. I will do what I can, though. I promise.”

  Fern huffed out a laugh that was part frustration, part appreciation. “We could use all the help we can get. Right Breeze?”

  Breeze nodded. “You bet the Goddess’s gumboots we can. And on that note, we should really get going. I’ve got a lot to tell you, and I doubt the Father-of-Needs-A-Better-Name is going to wait much longer before he makes his next move.”

  They made awkward goodbyes with Tiffany and Greg, and soon they were walking through her backyard and out to the trail that connected her property to Breeze’s.

  “This hasn’t changed at all,” Fern noted. “I swear every flower and rock is in exactly the same place.”

  “Well, of course they are. The dryads were here every day taking care of the place and keeping it all just as it was. I wasn’t even allowed to add more catnip to the garden. As if one fucking plant would change anything.” Shaz sniffed. “The tree-hugging hussies were utterly unmoved by my requests. Thank the Goddess Snuffy introduced me to online shopping or I might have perished from feline malaise.”

  She glanced down at her familiar. “You are so my cat.”

  He lifted his tail a little higher. “Have you only just realized this? We were together half your life. Your aunt was nothing but a fluffed-up fake of a familiar. I am the real fucking deal.”

  There wasn’t a marked boundary between her yard and the next, but she knew the moment they left her land. It could have been the subtle shift in energies or an innate awareness, or it might have been the fact that the second she crossed over, a broom swooped out of the sky and halted right in front of her, making a side to side sweeping motion that screamed “you shall not pass,” more clearly than a Shakespearean actor battling a balrog.

  Breeze stepped up to the broom and smacked it on the handle. “That’s enough of that! Behave or you’re back in the closet, buster.”

  The broom shuddered and then went still.

  “Sorry about that. We discovered my parents’ broom has a dust allergy, so now he’s been assigned security sweeps. He flies around and keeps an eye on the place for us, but sometimes he gets a little…swept up in it all.”

  Snuffy groaned and clapped his paws over his ears. “You promised to stop with the broom puns if I stopped swiping the shiny things.”

  Breeze snorted. “And I’m still waiting for that to happen. Or did you think I didn’t notice when you disappeared while we were talking to Fern.” The lovely witch bent over and held out her hand. “No taking shinies that don’t belong to you. Now give.”

  The raccoon uttered a deep, long-suffering sigh, rummaged about in a pouch she hadn’t even noticed he had strung around his neck, and produced a length of braided yarn festooned in sequins.

  Fern didn’t recognize it, but apparently Shaz did. “Again? How many times have I asked you to leave the blind pulls alone? Do we need to call another intervention?”

  Snuffy chittered indignantly. “It wasn’t attached to anything, I swear. It was just lying on the table, looking so…so…shiny.”

  “That’s because I hadn’t reattached it after the last time you swiped it, you kleptomaniac.”

  “You like shiny things?” Fern asked the raccoon.

  “I do. So much.” Snuffy wrung his tiny paws. “I’m sorry I took it.”

  “When things are less bat shit, I have a whole box full of costume jewelry. You can come over one night and see if there’s anything there you’d like. I don’t wear any of them. Think of it as a thank you gift for watching over Shazzy while I was gone.”

  The raccoon’s eyes lit up, and he scampered in a circle as fast as his pudgy legs would carry him, which wasn’t very fast at all. By the time he finished his gleeful moment of cavorting, he was wheezing and out of breath. “Thank you! I’ve missed you, Fern. You always had the best shinies.”

  Breeze laughed and stood up, handing the bit of yarn back to her. “You clearly remember enough about Snuffy to know the fastest way to his larcenous heart is by offering him baubles.”

  Fern scratched her head. “It’s weird, but I somehow know this stuff without remembering it, exactly.”

  Breeze nodded. “Yes! That’s what it was like for me, too. It’s really confusing, but it will get better.” She took her hand and squeezed it. “You’ll get it all back, Fern. I’m sure of it. Mind magic i
s tricky stuff. I can’t do it at all.”

  “Neither can I. Guess we better hope that this Frell-dingle-shell guy doesn’t need his grey matter messed with, or we’re going to be in trouble.”

  “I don’t see that happening. The father-of-frelling-bad-names likes to manipulate things from afar and then sweep in with a lot of threats and magical posturing. At least, that’s what we’ve seen so far. Granted, he hasn’t shown up in person, yet. He sent his lackeys last time.”

  Connell just looked between the two of them with an expression of dawning horror. “Waves and tides. You’ve got the same insane naming habit as Breeze. Is this a witch thing?”

  She grinned at Breeze. “I think it’s a coven besties thing. We’ve always done this, haven’t we, Breezy-Day-at-the beach?” The name rolled off her tongue, and she knew without a doubt it was one she’d used many times before.

  “You better believe it, Fern-a-Dern-a-dew-lily.”

  “The names of your familiars make a lot more sense, now,” Connell muttered. “Witches. You’re all mad.”

  “Yep. But this witch is mad about you, too.” Breeze let go of Fern and bounced over to throw herself into her mate’s arms.

  Before they could go past a laughing kiss, the sky darkened and a swarm of sparkling somethings descended on them like a horde of bedazzled locusts.

  Connell put two fingers to his mouth and uttered a short, sharp whistle. “Stay back, you sparkly fuckers. Remember to keep your distance.”

  “Sorry!”

  “Oops.”

  “You ‘kay, Breeze?”

  “We forgots.”

  Shrill apologies erupted from the flock of… pixies? Fern had never seen so many at once. Of course, she lived in large cities, and the wee folk didn’t often venture far from the wild places they called home.

  One of the pixies flew out of the swarm and hovered a metre or so away from Breeze. “Pixie Patrol Leader Tingles reporting! The nasty treat-eaters have been spotted on the road into town. They were at the place where the twisty pines dance in a circle.”