Behind the Badge

by Susan Sleeman

  “But you don’t think it’s a big deal?”

  “Well, yeah, sure. I mean, it’s big enough to make our mom go all nutso. But not so big that we shouldn’t give her another chance.” She picked at a cuticle. “I wanna go see her, but Syd loses it every time I say anything about it. She won’t even talk about it. So why bother trying?”

  So this was the real reason behind Nikki’s rebellion. He knew from experience if the mom hadn’t sobered up, Sydney was making the right decision.

  Nikki needed to know Sydney was doing the right thing. “She’s trying to protect you from getting hurt again.”

  “As if. She’s the only one who got hurt. She dragged me away from home when I was four. I don’t remember anything.”

  “I’m sure Sydney’s told you stories.”

  “Not really. Just said our life got all jammed up with Mom and we had to leave.”

  “And now you want to find out for yourself what your mother is like?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean, so what if she has problems? She’s my mother. I have a right to see her if I want to.” Her eyes teared up.

  “When you had your talk the other night, did you tell Sydney that?”

  “I tried to, but when I brought up the party to tell her I wasn’t drinking, she got all preachy. So I shut up.” Nikki sighed. “She is, like, so hard to talk to.”

  “You still should’ve told her you weren’t drinking, to ease her mind.”

  “Why should she get to feel good when she makes my life miserable all the time? She thinks she knows everything. Well, she doesn’t. She had a mom and a dad… I never did.” She sniffed. “It’s too late for my dad, but a whacked mom is better than no mom at all.”

  Russ let Nikki’s pronouncement settle over him. Children really did need their parents. Even at Nikki’s age. Thankfully, after he’d recovered, his ex-wife had been understanding and had given him the chance to reestablish a relationship with Zack. Their bond grew stronger every time they were together.

  If Sydney and Nikki’s mom had recovered and was sorry for the way she treated them, she deserved the same chance. But with Sydney’s feelings still raw from the situation, he doubted she would give her that opportunity.

  THIRTEEN

  Sydney flipped onto her side and sighed. She was too wide-awake to sleep. She’d tried to fall asleep for the past three hours, but the same impossible thought kept pummeling her brain. Plus that nap earlier in the evening hadn’t helped either.

  “Argh!” She ripped off the blankets and got up. On nights when she couldn’t sleep, she found reading stilled her mind. So that’s what she’d do. Make a cup of tea and read.

  Fearing she might have to act suddenly, she’d remained dressed, minus her vest, so she simply slipped into her shoes and strapped on her duty belt. She wasn’t going anywhere without her gun.

  In the hallway, she found Russ seated in a plump chair blocking the top of the stairs. When they’d all turned in for the night, he’d told her either he or Reid would sit guard up here, so she wasn’t surprised to find him, but after their emotional conversation she didn’t know how she felt about seeing him.

  The moonlight filtered through an upper window, casting a long shadow over his face so she couldn’t see if he was awake. Maybe he wasn’t even aware she’d left her room. Hoping to tiptoe past him, she approached.

  “Something wrong?” He shot to his feet.

  She came forward. “Couldn’t sleep.”

  In the light now beaming directly on his face, she could see the five-o’clock shadow that had darkened his jaw, giving him a dangerous, bad-boy kind of appearance. His sleepy yet interested gaze roamed her from head to toe and kicked up her heart rate.

  From all her recent thoughts about him, she was probably imagining this interest. “I’m gonna make some tea. You want some?”

  “Sure.”

  Now, why had she asked him to join her? That was just plain asking for trouble. She ran down to the kitchen, hearing his soft footfalls behind her, allowing her time to control her emotions.

  How could a man who was wrong for her in every way still make her heart beat faster? So she was physically attracted to him. So what? Didn’t mean she’d act on it. Unfortunately, her feelings went deeper than that. She was drawn to his kindness, his strength, his sensitivity to her needs. And that was so much harder to ignore.

  She filled mugs with water from the tap and started the microwave. Picking up a basket with assorted teas, she turned and spotted Russ sliding onto a stool at the island.

  She set the basket in front of him. “What kind do you want?”

  He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I rarely drink tea so you pick for me.”

  “Do you want me to make something else?”

  “This is fine.” He let his eyes linger on her face, almost like a caress.

  She hadn’t been wrong; he did seem to feel the same attraction. Despite knowing they could never be together, she liked the admiration she saw in his eyes. Liked it a lot. But she wouldn’t spend any more time reveling in it.

  She averted her eyes and dug though the basket until she found packets of chamomile. Chamomile relaxed and promoted sleep, but with the emotions flowing between them, no amount of tea would make either one of them sleepy.

  The microwave beeped. She retrieved the mugs and settled one bag into a cup before sliding it across the island. She fixed hers and prepared to head to the den and away from those smoldering eyes.

  He cupped his mug. “Since you can’t sleep, maybe you’d like to hear about the conversation I had with Nikki earlier tonight.”

  So much for retreating to the den. “Once upon a time when I had a great relationship with her, I’d have jumped at the chance to hear what she had to say.”

  “But now?”

  “Now I don’t know.” Sydney sighed. “Some days I wish I could just be her sister. Not have to deal with the responsibility of raising her.”

  “I can’t imagine how you do it. I mean, teenage girls bring so much drama. I couldn’t handle something like that all the time.”

  She felt as if he’d jerked the rug out from under her. Just what she needed—a reminder that he didn’t want to have anything to do with a woman who had the responsibility of a teenage girl.

  But she needed to know what was going on in Nikki’s head. “So go ahead. Tell me what she said.”

  “Okay, but promise me you’ll hear the whole story before going off on me?”

  This didn’t sound good, but she couldn’t avoid the truth. “I’ll do my best.”

  “Well, the good news is that she doesn’t like to drink. Said it makes her barf.”

  This was good news. “So why keep going to parties, then?”

  “She’s the designated driver. Says she can’t stop her friends from partying and she wants to keep them safe.”

  “Seriously? I’ve been on her case about drinking for nothing?”

  “Looks like it.”

  Sydney ran a hand through her hair, combing strands that had tangled while she’d tossed in bed. Maybe this would be the start of untangling her problems with Nikki, as well. “She must really be mad at me.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “So why didn’t she tell me that?” she demanded.

  “She said you overreact whenever alcohol is mentioned.”

  Sydney didn’t even have to think about whether she was guilty of overreacting. When it came to her mother, she was the queen of overreaction. “I just don’t want Nikki to turn out like our mother.”

  “Looks like that won’t happen, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah. At least for now.” She couldn’t help but feel relief and offered a quick prayer of thanks. “You said this was the good news. What’s the bad?”

  “I don’t know if it’s so much bad news as something you won’t want to hear.” He paused.

  Anxiety mounted. “Tell me already.”

  “Nikki wants to have a relationship with your mother.”

  �
�We’ve already talked about this. I told her it wasn’t an option. It never will be while I’m responsible for her.” Sydney packed her words with vehemence.

  Russ pulled back as if she’d slapped him. “Don’t you want to think about this before taking such a rigid stance?”

  “Absolutely not. No good will come of letting that woman into our lives.”

  “If you don’t want to lose Nikki, you need to lighten up and listen to how important this is to her.”

  “How can I? Our mother wanted to give Nikki away. I can’t tell her that.”

  “That was likely the alcohol talking,” he reminded her.

  The days and nights of her mother’s drunken behavior played like a video in Sydney’s mind. “You weren’t there, Russ.” As the pain resurfaced, her voice quieted. “You didn’t see her eyes. Hear the conviction in her voice.”

  “But I have been there, Syd.” His eyes saddened. “When you’re under the influence of alcohol, you do and say things you’d never do sober.”

  “So I should excuse her, then?”

  “Excuse? No. Forgive, maybe. Nikki deserves to find out for herself how she feels about your mother. If you don’t let her see her mother, she may come to resent you. Then where will you be?”

  Sydney heard the logic in his words and believed he could be right, but still couldn’t fathom letting Nikki see the woman who’d wanted nothing to do with them.

  “I’m sorry, Russ, but I can’t talk about this right now. Especially not with someone who has the same perspective as my mother.”

  Sydney grabbed her mug and headed toward the den. She couldn’t let their mother anywhere near Nikki. She’d only be a bad influence.

  Her feet shuffled on the wood floor and echoed down the long hall, giving sound to her frustration. Russ was sure to think she was mad at him, but she wasn’t. She was upset over the situation.

  Well, maybe she was mad at him. Mad about finding out the man she’d come to care for was in the same league as the mother who had wanted to throw her out like trash.

  She glanced back at him. His face was tight with disappointment. Good. If he kept looking at her like that, she could easily avoid the pull that seemed to be drawing her to him.

  Russ wished Sydney had been willing to continue her conversation with him, but she’d made it clear that his past kept her from trusting him. Maybe she was right. Maybe his intense desire for her to accept him skewed his perception. He was tempted to head after her and tell her how he felt, but a scraping noise from the porch grabbed his attention.

  All senses suddenly alert, he focused on the floor-to-ceiling windows covered with massive plantation shutters. A moving shadow seeped through the slats. Someone was on the porch, stealthily heading in Sydney’s direction.

  He whipped his gun from the holster and called Baker on his mic.

  Baker didn’t respond.

  Russ tried again. No response.

  Something was wrong.

  Gun arm outstretched, he raced toward the den. The room contained a door to the porch, giving the killer easy access. Russ wanted to shout at Sydney to take cover, but if the intruder didn’t know her location, he’d draw attention to her. Better to keep quiet and move faster than the intruder.

  Russ shoved open the door and quickly scanned the room. Sydney sat facing away from him, her back to the exterior door.

  He flipped off the overhead light.

  “Hey.” She shifted to face him.

  “Get down,” he said in a low, warning tone as he charged toward her.

  “What?” She remained in place, questioning him with her eyes.

  “On the floor, now!” He turned off the reading lamp.

  She dived for cover. He landed behind her, wrapped an arm around her waist and rolled until his body was between her and the door. “There’s someone on the porch.”

  “Nikki.” She rose up as if to leave.

  He clamped his free arm tighter. “Reid’s with her. We need to concentrate on getting out of this room safely, then we can check on her.”

  He felt her body relax. She wasn’t wearing her vest. She’d counted on him to protect her and let her guard down. If he were a swearing man, he’d issue a curse so loud they’d hear him in town. But that wouldn’t do either of them any good. He had to keep his head. Assess the threat.

  He let her go and flipped to check the exterior door flanked by two windows with the same shutters as in the family room. He didn’t see any movement. Maybe he’d overreacted. Wouldn’t be the first time an animal came onto the porch in search of food. But an animal wouldn’t have taken out Baker.

  Though the room was dark, he knew every inch of it. He could still smell the tobacco from the pipe his father smoked after dinner and visualize the walls lined with bookcases filled to brimming with books. They had a straight shot to the door, but there was nothing to protect them from a bullet on the way.

  He felt Sydney moving behind him. Could tell she was turning to face the same direction.

  “I don’t see anything,” she whispered, her breath warming his neck.

  “We’ll wait a few minutes to be sure.”

  “What exactly did you see?” she asked.

  “A shadow moving past the family-room window headed this way.”

  “He could’ve already passed us on the way to the back of the house. There’s another set of stairs back there. He could be heading for Nikki.” Sydney rose up.

  “Wait. We’ll go together.” Crouching, he led her by the hand into the hallway, where he stopped and listened. “He’s still on the porch. Nikki should be fine.”

  “There could be two of them. We need to make sure Nikki’s okay.” He heard the desperation in her voice.

  “With this guy still on the porch, it’s too dangerous to go through the family room. I’ll call Reid.” He eased out his cell. “We may have a breach. Check on Nikki.”

  “On it,” Reid replied in a groggy voice.

  “There’s no one better than Reid to protect her.” He set his phone to vibrate in case Reid called back—didn’t want to alert the intruder with it ringing—and dialed his office to request assistance.

  As he was talking, a window in the den shattered. He heard something thud to the floor. Not a body, something smaller.

  “I need you here now!” he whispered into the phone. “Let’s move,” he said to Sydney.

  Using his body as a shield, he pushed her down the hallway. Near the end of the hall, she bolted toward the family room, obviously heading for the stairs to check on Nikki.

  He grabbed her arm. “Reid will handle things upstairs. I need you to do as I say now.”

  “But Nikki…”

  “No buts, Syd. We’ll wait down here.” He directed her to a small bathroom under the stairs. He didn’t like the situation one bit. They were sitting ducks, but this was the best option. He’d like to take a defensive stance in the hallway, but he was certain Sydney wouldn’t stay inside alone.

  “Now what?” she asked.

  “We update Reid, then keep quiet so it takes longer to locate us. Then we wait for backup.” Hoping to hear the wail of sirens soon, Russ made a quick call to Reid. Russ wished his brother could back them up, but he had his hands full monitoring two staircases leading to Nikki.

  Time ticked by in slow increments. The only sound Russ heard was blood pounding through his head and Sydney’s occasional deep breathing followed by a hissing exhalation. He could understand her feelings. If Zack were upstairs, nothing, not even another officer guarding the door, would make him settle down and wait this out. But thankfully, Zack wasn’t upstairs.

  A good thing, too. Russ needed to stop thinking about his son and keep his mind on protecting Sydney. With this latest intrusion, he needed to up his game to keep Sydney alive.

  FOURTEEN

  Sydney held her gun at the ready and tried to calm her breathing, but the more she thought about the in-and-out process, the harder it was to do. The room seemed to close in on her and sh
e felt light-headed. What kind of deputy was she if this made her go faint?

  C’mon, Sydney. Get a grip.

  She took a deep, cleansing breath, but the wooziness persisted. She’d already prayed, but obviously she wasn’t trusting God to care for them.

  Father, please let me trust in Your protection.

  As if God thought she needed a sign to help her through this, the wail of sirens curled through the air. They’d never sounded so good to Sydney. She hated to admit it, but even though she wanted to trust God, she’d been certain the intruder would kill Russ or Nikki to get to her. She didn’t want to die, but she’d give up her life for them.

  She stayed in her spot, listening as Russ phoned his station and had the call routed to the approaching officer. He quickly updated him on the situation.

  “We’ll stay put until you give us the all-clear.” He clicked off then phoned Reid and gave him the same information.

  Sydney relaxed a bit, but they weren’t out of the woods yet. The intruder could still be in the house, hoping to take one of them hostage as a means of escape. Russ’s call could’ve alerted him to their location, but hopefully he’d taken off after hearing the sirens.

  Additional sirens joined the lone wail. Good. She sighed in relief and felt her pulse start to calm. This was what they needed. A show of force.

  She listened to cars squeal to a stop, footfalls pound up the steps and tread through the house with sounds of “clear” being called out. When fingers of light crept under the door and brightened their cave, Russ turned to her.

  “You okay?” he asked with tenderness in his voice that melted her heart.

  “I will be.” Her voice shook as a shiver took hold of her body. All the fear she’d been suppressing reverberated through her tone.

  He sucked in a breath and holstered his gun before crossing over and pulling her to him. Still holding her weapon, she relaxed against his broad chest and wrapped her free arm around his waist. As she inhaled his clean scent, residual fear hovering near the surface evaporated.

  His arms loosened. She leaned back to look up at him. The warmth in his eyes stole her breath. He really seemed to care about her.