Rocker (Rockstar BBW Romance)

by Demare, Laura

  I looked at his phone screen, handed it back, and said, “Here, you just do it.”

  I finally got away from Danny by going to the girl’s restroom and hiding. That was one skill I had developed pretty well in high school. The restroom on the south end of school, 2nd floor, was always the best place to hide out for a period or 2 when I just couldn’t face anyone. I felt like that now. I went up there and it was just as it was 5 years ago. Three roomy stalls and big old fashioned sinks with hot and cold water that actually stayed on. The paper towels had been replaced by an air dryer, but otherwise, I felt right at home. All I needed was a good book to read.

  I thought of Stevie. I couldn’t stop. I still loved him. Was it true that anyone you had sex with was attached to you forever? Was he down in LA by now? Up in Portland? Would my life ever be as good as it was that night?

  I went over our love making in my head. So magnificent. I went over it again, slowly, remembering every detail. What a woman, he had said.

  “I knew it!” It was Tara. She’d found me. “Get out her, April Linn. I told you I wouldn’t leave you alone, so you leave me alone.” I came out of the sall. “I thought you ran off with Danny Leonard until he came up and started telling how he made six figures.

  “Oh please.” I said.

  “Come on, a lot of people are getting here. It’s going to be such a rave.”

  “You’re such a hick,” I said. I loved her.

  We went back down to the reunion and she was right, It was getting packed. The DJ was actually quite talented. He had all kinds of samples that he was looping, while also mixing in vinyl, and he even had a female vocalist. The joint was jumping’, I’ll give him that.

  Another thing that was cool is that it wasn’t just blasting. At the end of the gym that was set up as a dance floor, it was pretty loud, but down by the tables you could carry on a conversation. I made my way around the dance floor and hung out around the edge of the little stage that was set up for the DJ. I was really getting into the beat. It was turning out to be a really nice time. That’s when I saw Jessie and Leo and their entourage. I ignored them, but felt a sting from the other night in the store.

  Then Jessie was next to me. “What’s your problem, wide load,” she said loudly over the music. She was always an instigator. I guess it’s what she had to do. She didn’t get enough attention from being gorgeous and sexy. I couldn’t believe it, she was going to make a scene. I could feel it coming. I just didn’t know if I could stop it, or if I wanted to.

  “What?” I said. I could feel all the frustration of the last week coming to a head in me.

  “I saw the look you gave me when I came in,” she said getting in my face. “I didn’t come all the way back to the sticks, just so some loser cashier could give me dirty looks.”

  “Come on, Jess,” Leo said, “She’s not worth it.

  “Kick her fat ass,” someone called out and the DJ quit spinning the vinyl. A drum beat was still looping, but it had suddenly gotten quiet in the entire gym.

  I shook my head in disgust. I took a step back, spread my arms to the side, palms up, and shrugged. Jessie mimicked my movements, but screwed her face up. “You should think twice before you fuck with me, you fat bitch,” Jessie said for everyone’s benefit. There was a murmur through the crowd. Even the DJ and his vocalist were looking over at us.

  If I would have just walked away, that would have been the end of it.

  If she would have just shrugged, made a face, and not said anything, that would have been the end of it, but she had to call me a fat bitch.

  “Fuck you, Jessie.” I said. “You can’t talk to me like that. I let you talk to me like that in High School, but I’m a big girl now, and...”

  “You’re a big girl alright,” Leo said. The crowd around us laughed.

  “Kick her fat ass, Jessie,” a girl’s voice said.

  “Feel like getting stomped, Fatty?” Jessie asked. She always acted like such a badass. There had always been rumors about the girls she’d beat up. Most of the girls back in high school had been scared of her. I used to be, too, but I wasn’t that night.

  “I don’t think you got it in you,” I said loudly, a sudden tranquility coming over me.

  “I’m gonna mess up your big, fat face,” she hissed at me as she stepped forward.

  “No, I really don’t think you are,” I said, taking a step back into a defensive pose. It was infuriating her. The DJ’s drum track was just looping and the whole place seemed to be watching us. There was no Vice Principal to break it up. All the cool kids were just waiting for the fat kid to get hers.

  Jessie made fists. She came at me in a boxing pose. I felt relaxed. Time slowed down. I easily sidestepped her, and she punched thin air. “Just stop it, Jessie,” I said. “I don’t want to fight you.”

  She swung again wildly, like she thought she was gonna knock me out. She missed by a mile. I don’t know what combination of drugs and alcohol she was on, but it wasn’t good for depth perception. I really didn’t want to hurt her. All the resentment from my high school years, plus the 5 since, seemed to drain from me right then and there.

  Here Jesse was, easily the most beautiful and sexy girl in our high school class, and, for some reason, she felt like she had to pick a fight with me. The big girl. Cashier Girl.

  Cashier Girl blocked another swing by Jessie and pushed her back so hard she had to be caught by the crowd.

  “Why don’t you just leave,” Leo said angrily to me. “Nobody wants you here.

  “Yeah, just leave,” someone else said and there was a chorus of people that said demeaning things, “get out, fatty,” and “fat cunt,” come to mind.

  “Are you kidding me,” I thundered back to no one in particular, “She came up and started trouble with me.” Jessie ran at me, I sidestepped her again and pushed her into the gym floor as she went past. She went down hard. Suddenly Leo shoved me with all his strength and sent me sprawling onto my side. There was laughter and then a loud smacking sound. The DJ’s drum loop stopped.

  I looked up at Leo who was holding his cheek in pain, in front of him was Stevie who said, “You touch her again and you’ll be leaving in an ambulance.”

  “What the fuck,” Leo said.

  “The fuck is,” Stevie said, deep and calm, “I’m gonna fuck you up if you even look at my woman again. Now get your bitch, and get the fuck out of my sight before your night turns into a horror story.”

  It was like in the Lord of the Rings when Gandalf gets angry and all of the sudden he seems to fill the room. Stevie filled the room with his presence. People backed away in fear as he walked to me and helped me to my feet.

  Leo got Jessie up and they slunk into the crowd.

  Stevie embraced me and the DJ started up a loop. I could have moved a mountain for that man right then.

  9

  Cinder-Ella was transformed after all. Even though it almost happened like the storybook, with me running out on one shoe. I didn’t run from the dance crying. Instead, my hero got there in time to help save me.

  I guess the real transformation was in me. Maybe Stevie’s conversation with me about Peter Paul Rubens a few nights earlier had sunk in. All I know is, in the midst of Jessie’s assault, I suddenly saw her for what she was, an ungrateful little girl. I kind of saw myself for what I was, too, a good person. A person that always tried to make other people feel good. A person that didn’t mind not always putting themselves first. A worthy person, despite my size. So I was not ideal in the eyes of my society; I was a decent human being.

  Stevie and I stayed on the dance floor for a while. Touching him was so overwhelming. I didn’t know why he’d left me in the Best Western like that, and I didn’t care, now. I put my head on his chest and he held me. All my former classmates went back to their night. We kissed.

  The DJ had pumped it up, but Stevie and I took it slow. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in my ear. Holding hands we went outside to talk with most of the eyes in the gym following u
s as we went. Stevie looked stunning in a leather jacket and a 3 day beard. I felt a bit oafish, but cute.

  “I didn’t know what I was doing,” Stevie told me as the fresh air hit us on the big concrete patio in front of El Dorado High. “I think you and I had only been asleep a couple of minutes when my brother banged on the door,” he said. We sat down on a wooden bench with a commemorative plaque. “I slipped away from you. You were out cold. Karl, my brother, started yelping about us being on the next flight to New York. I was bleary eyed and confused. I hadn’t unpacked. Karl grabbed my bag while I put my clothes on. I watched you sleeping. You were beautiful.”

  Our mouths came together in a storm of passion. No fireworks on earth could compare to what was going off in my body. He stopped. He had to finish telling me his story.

  “So, I don’t know what happen,” Stevie continued, “I wasn’t thinking. I thought, I’d call you later. I didn’t want to wake you. Why didn’t I leave a note? I’ve asked myself that over and over the last couple of days. Anyway, I didn’t have your number or know your last name. So, I figured out the name of the grocery store, online. I called up and talked to some older guy. I asked if he could tell me your number, he said no. I asked if he could tell me your last name, he hung up on me.”

  I was the happiest girl in the world. We kissed and then kissed some more. There was no way my life had turned around this profoundly. It felt like a movie. “Why?” I managed eventually, “Why… Where did you run off to?”

  “That’s the other thing. The last few days have been insane. The record company and producer that we were hoping to work with got us tickets out of SFO into JFK. They had a limo waiting for us and everything. We signed a recording contract in New York!”

  I was elated and scared at the same time. I had Stevie back, but now he might be famous. “Fantastic,” I said.

  “Yeah, we wanted to work with Astral Records more than anyone on the planet.”

  “Really?”

  Yeah, because they’re OK with us giving our albums away for free. They encourage it. They get the new way that records come out now.”

  Stevie and I went back into the gym, but it looked so different. It had loomed like a big intimidating event in my life. One I didn’t think I could handle. Now it seemed small. It seemed to dim in comparison to Stevie. We sat with Rodney, who was smashed, and Tara for a while. Tara seemed at a loss for words for the first time since I’d known her. She just kept looking at Stevie and over at me in disbelief.

  Then Stevie and I got on out of there. We stopped by Mom’s and my place so I could pick up a few things. It was embarrassing, but I had to have some comfortable clothes. Mom was sound asleep, so I brought Stevie in and he sat on my twin bed while I packed a few things. I changed into some jeans and t-shirt and we headed for Stevie’s hotel down in San Francisco.

  Stevie had rented a mid-sized Ford to drive over to Placerville. We cruised in the new car out of town on Route 50. The lights of the night passed us by. We made it on down to I-5 in what seemed like minutes. I remember a passing a semi-truck weigh station; everything looked bright, mysterious, and wonderful. “Do you have any of your music?” I asked suddenly remembering that i didn’t even know what Mercury 7 sound like.

  “Yeah, I’ve got a bunch of it on my phone, but this car doesn’t have an mp3 jack.”

  “Got some headphones?” I asked.

  “Yeah, sure,” Stevie said. He was so low key about it; I almost thought he didn’t want me to hear it. He got me sorted out on his device and started the playlist of his own music. The first thing I thought when it started listening was, we were meant to be together.

  His music was so me. I mean I loved it instantly. It was soulful, upbeat, simple, with interesting lyrics. It was moving. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but what I was hearing was perfect. I closed my eyes and sat back in my seat. I looked over at Stevie once and he just smiled, relaxed and confident. He knew it was good. He knew we were good.

  “Fantastic, Stevie,” I said as my eyes got misty.

  He nodded. “Thanks, Just April.”

  The beat was so smooth. Mercury 7 music would be good just instrumental. The vocal harmonies were good enough to listen to the group a cappella. I was astounded by the quality and how terrific the tracks where. I couldn’t believe it took them 2 years to get a recording contract.

  Then of course I got anxious. What if he gets famous? He can’t be famous with a fat girlfriend. Screw it. He could start a trend.

  I took an ear bud out of my left ear and asked him, “Is this Missouri music. Stevie and Karl were born and raised in Missouri. The two of them had met the rest of the band in LA.

  He chuckled softly. The red tail lights on the highway were magic. The headlights coming the other way were hope. Should I let myself fall headlong in love like this? Too late. Should I tell him I love him? I love him. I love him. I love him.

  I leaned my seat back. I rolled my head toward him. He shook my knee. “Been to San Fran much?” he said.

  “Yeah, my dad used to love to take my big sister and me down to Fisherman's Wharf for the day.”

  “Where’s he?”

  “Died when I was 18.”

  “What happened?” he said glancing over at me.

  “Uh, drank himself to death I think. He was the life of the party.” Mercury 7’s music was pumping into my right ear. “I loved my dad so much,” I said as a single tear ran down my cheek and into the headrest. I closed my eyes.

  “That’s a good thing,” Stevie said.

  “Yeah,” I whispered. What about your parents?”

  “Happy and healthy back in Blue Springs, Missouri. They’ve been together since Mom’s 16th birthday. She’s 57.”

  “You’re 27, right?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he whispered and I drifted off to sleep to the sound of his voice on the song track:

  you brought me to my knees

  you shook me to the core

  but I don’t need you anymore

  I don’t need

  you

  any

  more

  I awoke to the bright lights of the big city. I watched Stevie driving through the empty city streets. So, this was real.

  We were in his hotel’s lobby by 2am which was the shank of the evening for us night owls. It was a big step up from the Best Western Placerville. It had a huge atrium lobby that went all the way to the top of the building. Like twenty stories I’d guess.

  We got up to Stevie’s room on the 17th floor. Kind of scary looking down over that inner balcony at the indoor pool below. Once in his room we noticed a person in one of the beds. My heart went zero to sixty in a second. Then I realized it was a man. “Get the hell up,” Stevie said.

  The man grunted.

  “Hey,” Stevie uncovered the man, grabbed him by the arm, yanked him up, and said, “Go to your own room.”

  “What?” the man said, irritated.

  Stevie yanked him to standing position. Oh my god, the man was gorgeous, barely awake, in baggy boxer shorts and tattoos. “Go to your own room, Karl.”

  “Oh, man, just let me stay in here tonight,” Karl said and then he noticed me. He looked me over with her bloodshot eyes. “You’re kicking me out for this cow?”

  Stevie pushed him hard toward the door. “I already bitch-slapped one asshole tonight. Apologize!” Stevie demanded.

  “I’m sorry, Miss,” Karl said.

  “Now get the fuck out,” Stevie told him.

  As the door closed, Stevie said, “There are five of us in the band. Since I’m the oldest, I usually get my own room, but Karl’s my little brother and when we’re getting along we hang out a lot. He’s a bastard, but I love him.

  I looked at him wide eyed. He stepped to me. We were chest to chest, but not touching. We kissed softly with our lips the only parts of our bodies meeting. It was so delicious.

  He broke first and took my t-shirt over my head. I brought my hands down onto his hips. He gripped my up
per arms. Our kisses were wet, deep, and spectacular.

  I guided his hips into me, and then grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and took it over his head. What a man. What a torso. He was all muscle and musk. He reached around me and got my bra undone. We embraced.

  My soft breasts were pressed against his hard chest. He looked at me in wonder. “I missed you,” he whispered.

  “Me, too,” I whispered back.

  I pushed away from him and fell to my knees in front of him. I don’t know what came over me. Last week, last month, last year, in my last lifetime, I would have never made that move. But on that night, I had his belt unbuckled, jeans unbuttoned, and zipper opened like I did it for living. I pushed his jeans back off of his hips and began to slide them down. I grabbed the top of his white knit boxers and brought them down from the sides, slowly. I watched as I exposed him. His pubic hair was full, but he wasn’t a hairy guy. He was my perfect fantasy come to life. I wanted to please him more than anything.