Angela's Hope (Wildflowers)

by Banicki, Leah

  Dear Ted,

  I know the days are long when you are stuck in bed. The healing process is hard and I learned from experience that God was there for me every step of the way. A dear friend, Edith Sparks, shared this verse with me on my own healing journey. I share it with you today, so you can keep your hope in the only thing that is strong enough to help us overcome anything.

  As I wait on the Lord, with good courage, He will strengthen my heart. - Psalm 27:14

  I am doing well, this deep bruise is a pest sometimes and I have to remember my limits. I hope to see you soon.

  Sincerely,

  Angela Fahey

  Ted read through the verse several times. Trying to put it to memory. He appreciated Angela’s kind words and he was anticipating seeing her again soon. With them both hurt he would have to be patient and ‘wait’ as the verse said.

  Clive got the table set up a few minutes later, he grabbed a chair from the bedroom and they had a plan formed for lunch and checkers.

  Once they were both done eating the checkers match began. They were an equal match for skill and they both were quiet and focused during the first two games. Ted won the first and Clive the second. They both laughed when one would make a good or bad move. It was a fun way to spend the afternoon. After the first two games the pace slowed and Ted wanted to take the opportunity to ask some questions about Angela.

  “I overheard you and Angela talking yesterday.” Ted said as he moved a checker piece.

  “I figured you might be wondering about that.” Clive muttered as he thought out his next move.

  “She was hurt before. She mentioned in her note today about someone named Edith Sparks. I never met her in Oregon, I have more questions than I can figure out.” Ted said.

  Clive was taking his time on his move, mostly because of his internal dilemma, would Angela want him to know all? If Ted was interested in courting the girl, knowing her history may help him understand her better if he knew her past. Angela wasn’t secretive about it, but he also knew she would not talk about it much. It was still something she was sorting through. Forgiveness was an ongoing struggle when someone hurt a person intentionally.

  Clive decided to give up on the move and sat back in his chair. He ran his work-roughened hands through his salt and pepper hair.

  “Angela has suffered through some hard things, she is a special girl with a faith that boggles me sometimes.” Clive shared.

  Ted nodded and sat back, the game was forgotten, and he knew he was going to find out more about the girl that was filling his thoughts.

  “Her father and mother died when she was young. Her mother remarried after her husband died. A few years later, her mother died in front of her, it was horrific. Angela’s mom was pregnant and fell carrying a washtub down stairs. Angela was only a child at the time. Her new stepfather remarried weeks after his wife’s death and sold Angela and her older brother Sean to a work orphanage.”

  Ted gasped and let his head drop. He would let the story sink in later. He wanted to hear the rest.

  Clive went through how Sean ran away from the orphanage and then Angela was then sent to Corinne’s Aunt’s to work as a maid, but her pay was sent to the orphanage until Corinne pressed her Aunt to get Angela’s pay to be given directly to Angela. Ted realized the deep relationship between Corinne and Angela was something that was rare.

  Once Clive started telling Ted about Corinne’s first husband he was beginning to feel a fire in the pit of his stomach. This Andrew Temple character was sounding more and more like his uncle who manipulated and mistreated women. Ted thought to himself.

  When the events involving the night of Angela’s accident came around, Clive held nothing back. How Andrew had sent her into danger, then laughed it off later to everyone else. Like she had been a silly girl.

  Clive stopped when he could see Ted’s distress.

  “I know how you feel, Ted, this was a dark time for me as well. My own anger and resentment were tested that day.” Clive said and patted Ted’s arm next to him.

  “Why would someone do something like that? It is truly hateful.” Ted asked. Shaking his head and feeling the full weight of how it must have been for Angela’s friends, waiting and wondering through the night.

  “Through God’s grace someone heard her yells, she was so far from the wagon train. I have to believe that God carried her voice. When we found her she was so very broken.” Clive’s voice broke a moment from the memory of it.

  “Corinne did the best she could to clean her wounds and set the broken bones. Even two days later when the infection was settin’ in they had to scrub out the wound, like they did for you today. She had been pierced with rocks and tree branches as she had fallen. I was there with her while she was being scrubbed. I held her. We all thought we were losing her.” Clive shared. The pain of the memory took him away for a minute. Ted let him have time to continue if he wanted to.

  “Andrew, the perpetrator, was actually the one to find her sanctuary with the Spark family at Fort Kearney.” Clive said.

  “Oh really?” Ted said in disbelief.

  “Yes, he was a man eatin’ away by guilt. After he got her safely in place with them he came to me. It was a strange night that I haven’t shared with anyone. Though I perhaps will with Angela and Corinne together someday. It may give their hearts a sense of peace.” Clive scratched his chin, thinking on how to continue. “That young man was so filled with guilt and anger. He confessed all to me, his past, and his rage about everything. How his Ma had always taught him to go to God but he had failed to do so time and time again. That night I helped this bitter and angry young man confess to God. In a moment when I wanted to judge and hurt this person who had caused so much pain, I had to set aside my own anger and help him back to the Lord. It tested me. Watching that young man cry out to God. I so wanted to keep my anger. But yet I could not.”

  Ted was shocked and quiet, his own anger brewing inside, battling the Christian upbringing of allowing forgiveness to overcome anger.

  “I know Angela will not want to talk about this much. She has overcome so much. She is still discovering who she is, not a servant anymore, but as a young woman. Her faith is growing and she is learning to trust again, but it is a fragile thing. I tell you because I can see the bond between the two of you is growing. I don’t want you to be another thing she has to recover from.” Clive finished by looking into Ted’s eyes, challenging him to be a man, not just a boy with puppy love.

  “I will endeavor to always protect her.” Ted said sincerely. Clive believed him.

  The conversation moved along to lighter subjects and several more games of checkers were played.

  Ted wrote a note for Angela, he pondered the words for a long time. His feelings for her had changed in a day. She probably would not like his thoughts, thinking them to be pity, Ted wondered. But in his heart the story of her survival only made her more desirable to him. She was fragile, yes, but she was also strong. She was a young woman that God had plucked from disaster and saved. He felt the need to move their relationship further. He wanted the note to say things that perhaps he couldn’t say in person.

  Dear Angela,

  I use the word “dear” because you are very dear to me. As you held my hand yesterday I felt your sympathy and compassion, it meant more to me than you can know. I don’t always have the right words to say but I need to tell you how I feel.

  I must say I was first drawn to you when I saw you from across the street. Your hair was the first thing I noticed, hanging down your back. You turned and I saw your green eyes. I was lost in them. I could not help it. But I know that physical beauty is nothing to base a lasting affection on, but I will admit that is how I felt upon meeting you. Since that day you have grown in my heart, your humility and strength confound me.

  You have such a compassionate heart and a willingness to help anyone. Your patience with my shyness and fumbling is another trait I must admire about you, for without it, I fear I would still be
admiring you from afar.

  I want to completely be above board and honest in all our dealings. I have the deepest respect for you so I want you to know I did ask Clive about your leg, he has filled me in on your accident from last year. I want to comfort you by letting you know that my feelings for you will never be pity, for I know I would not want that either. It will take a decent amount of prayer and work with the Lord to forgive that man that hurt you so maliciously. I only wish I had been there to protect you, but I know that God was there and you were saved. I am so very thankful for that.

  Within you is a woman I deeply admire, for your strength, your purity, your courage and your morality.

  I know not how to make my feelings clearer at the moment but to say I care for you very much. I hope I have not shocked you with the affection I carry but ask that if you do not feel the same way you will let me know soon. For I fear my heart will carry me further if you do not dissuade me.

  Sincerely Yours,

  Thaddeus Greaves

  Once the words were on paper the way he wanted, he wrote it out again on a piece of fine parchment. He wanted no smudges or smears. He was now glad for the hours his mother had spent on his penmanship, for their small town school did not focus much on it. His mother believed a good man could write a fine letter with a strong hand.

  Ted went to bed but gave the note to Clive to be delivered. Clive didn’t wait until morning but left before dusk to pay a visit to his grandson’s home. He figured the note would give Angela something pleasant to think on during her healing process.

  * * * * *

  Angela received the note after Clive had been chatting with the adults quietly near the fireplace. Silas was nearly sleeping in his mother’s arms and the conversation and her rocking was soothing enough to keep him calm. Silas’s cheeks were flushed with sleepiness and they all knew, barring some kind of chaos, he would be asleep soon.

  “Ted wrote this for you dear.” Clive handed over the note; he enjoyed her deep scarlet blush.

  “How is he doing?” Angela asked to keep her composure.

  “Today he sat up for most of the day. He bested me at checkers several times, the rascal. Tomorrow I may challenge him again in the evening. I can expect he will be testing the boundaries of his stitches soon. He is not one to be idle for too long.” Clive laughed.

  “I understand that well enough.” Angela sighed. “I am also tired of being so still. This bruise kept me from walking for too long. I do not want to give into the pain, yet I know I must give it rest.”

  “If it is only aggravated you should see improvement soon.” Amber said with an encouraging smile.

  Angela was eager to read the note from Ted but waited until Clive had left before she excused herself to her room to go over the letter.

  She had to say the first time she read through it she blushed and was overwhelmed. She knew that Ted liked her; the stolen kisses had proven that. But to know how deeply he was feeling, and his reasons were beyond her hopes.

  She was attracted to him from the earliest moments she had met him as well. She knew he was a young man of Godly character. According to everyone around her he was a hard worker and had integrity.

  She read through the letter several more times. Each time she pondered over his chosen words. “You are very dear to me.” The word dear was a sweet endearment that worked within Angela’s heart as she thought of him. She wanted to be sure before she let her heart trip over that invisible line. But with how he “deeply admired” her she had to admit to herself that she felt the same way.

  It had only been a few weeks of courting and he knew he would not stay in San Francisco forever so she wanted to be sure that he was not obligated to make any promises to her. But what she did know was that he was a good young man, and caring for him was not wrong. She would definitely not dissuade him from continuing his good intentions, if that is what he meant in their relationship. She did not see him as the type to think of women as anything but something to be cherished and protected. She would pray that God showed her his full character, if he was a young man to be trusted with her heart. She finally was able to sleep after prayers and lots of thoughts over the words on that slip of parchment.

  * * * * *

  Ted was up and around within a few days. His stitches pulled and itched but he kept himself busy with light jobs that Clive found for him. Since he was educated and could read and handle numbers, he helped Clive with inventory of the mercantile and the warehouses.

  While they were busy with counting of sacks of whole wheat kernels, the warehouse was buzzing with voices.

  It seemed a fire had broken out on of the docks. The main bells weren’t ringing but a small hand bell could be heard through the hubbub of activity.

  Clive and Ted immediately joined the throng of men as they ran to the docks to help.

  Ted winced as the stitches pulled and he had to slow to a jog, Clive ran ahead and told Ted to take his time.

  As Ted saw the small blaze spread across the end of the dock he paused to see if he could help with a bucket brigade. He could not see any kind of organization but knew someone should get one started. He saw a good place to get water and grabbed a bucket full of scales lying near a fish cleaning station. He knelt to the edge of the dock and rinsed it into a semi clean state.

  He yelled. “Bucket line!” It was loud enough for a few people to get a hint to join him. A few men found buckets, as were usually plentiful near the docks. Men started gathering near Ted and with a few course words yelled and some cooperation the line was started. More added to it and soon the fire was getting the water it needed to begin to get a sense of control in the situation.

  Ted knelt and dipped, so many times. He knew he had ripped a stitch. An older man realized that Ted was bleeding and took over the position and did the kneeling and handed the full bucket to Ted. The system was working, the more men that joined or found more buckets the better it worked. The fire was out on one side and one building was not blazing so high. No one wanted to see the fire reach the city streets again.

  After thirty minutes of concentrated efforts by over one hundred men the dock fire was out. There was a little damage to a few buildings that dared to attach to the dock but all could be repaired easily.

  Ted and a few men stayed on to help clean up. Ted had no expectation of the situation being anything but a simple clean up but it got out of control so fast. Ted had no idea trouble had been looking for him.

  Without a thought Ted felt himself being swung around by the shoulder. He saw the glimpse of his Uncle Hank, looking sweaty and disheveled. He was shocked at the discovery. It took Ted a moment to realize he was in a fight. A fist connected to his jaw with sloppy but painful force. Ted finally registered that his Uncle was really here, now. The last he had seen of this sad excuse for a relative had been before he left the boat, months ago.

  “You thieving ——!” His Uncle cursed at him while he swung his fists around again.

  Ted was not surprised to realize his Uncle was inebriated. Probably why his punch hadn’t landed as hard as it could have.

  “You need to get your facts straight, old man.” Ted weaved away from his uncle’s advances.

  “You stole my money.” His Uncle Hank yelled, he was making a scene but Ted didn’t care.

  “I took my father’s portion and that was all. You killed him aboard that ship. You murdered him when you ate the last of the food. You let your own brother starve and die of scurvy.” Ted said as he heard some men gasp; the docks were full of men that lived by a certain code. Aboard any vessel food hoarding or greed was a despicable act.

  “He was too far gone, you know nothing you stupid boy.” His Uncle Hank slurred through his words and swung at Ted slowly again and missed, it threw off his balance. By then Clive was at Ted’s side.

  “I think you need to sober up, sir.” Clive said with more than a dash of sarcasm in his voice.

  Hank cursed at Clive, too. A few men were gathering closer. Ted�
�s Uncle was losing the respect of the crowd quickly.

  Hank, in a final gesture, got a kick in and caught Ted on his bad leg right below his stitches. Ted yelled out but didn’t fall thanks to Clive who was there and steadied him. Ted could tell another stitch was pulled and blood was soaking through his pant leg.

  A few men were grumbling about helping the idiot get sobered and without much ado Ted’s uncle was grabbed by four men. Two had his shoulders and two scooped up his legs and he was tossed off the edge of the dock. The water was shallow and he stood up sputtering and cursing everyone around him but he was aware enough that the crowd was against him, too. He had to head away from the dock and find a way to get back on land and away from the angry mob.

  Ted and Clive walked slowly a few blocks as Ted explained the full story about how his uncle had been with the group to resupply the ship. The ship had allowed for every family group to send a representative to carry in supplies, fruit was very critical as everyone knew. Ted’s father had been showing signs of scurvy and Ted had been concerned. Ted saw that his uncle had hoarded and eaten all the fruit by the time he had gotten back from the supply expedition. There was no other way to say it but that his selfishness had cost his father’s life.

  Clive was just as disgusted as Ted and did his best to soothe and console Ted but Clive knew there were some things that couldn’t be explained away.

  “All I know is that my mother has no idea that my father is dead, and I don’t know how to tell her. I don’t want to write that letter.” Ted said as they rounded a corner, they were near the doctor’s office. He would need a few extra stitches, they wordlessly walked there.

  Finally Clive shared his wisdom. “I know you may have a hard time with it, but I would be glad to help you write that letter. Your mother should know. It will allow her the time to grieve and you do not want her to have hard feelings for you as well. The truth is always better than not knowing. We can pray for her mourning to be over sooner than later. Then she can rejoice in your homecoming whenever that will be. Instead of it being the long awaited bad news of death.”