Lil Mama From The Projects 2: Love In The Ghetto

by Mz. Toni

  “Oh yeah, you tryna do something about it?”

  “I got a few things in mind,” he said with a smirk before hitting me in the face with the butt of his gun. I wasn't gonna let this nigga keep putting his fucking hands on me, that's some shit I refused to tolerate. He will not be scarring up this money making face. Jumping up, I punched him dead in his face. I wasn't no bitch and the worse thing a nigga could ever do is underestimate me. Standing in a fighting stance, I proceeded to deliver him an ass whooping his mama should’ve gave his ass as a child.

  “Nigga you don't be hitting no fucking women, bitch ass!” I said before kicking him in the face.

  “And your stupid ass, how the fuck he know where we live!” I snapped at Ashley before snatching the gun out of the dude’s hand.

  “I'm sorry, damn. I didn't think he would do no shit like this!”

  “That's where you fucked up at, leave the thinking to me!” I said before dragging his body out of my fucking apartment. I didn't give a shit who found him, who helped him or if his ass died, as long as he wasn't in my shit waving that gun. After getting in the shower, I examined my face, he didn't do shit that makeup couldn't cover up, and for that I was thankful.

  “I'm sorry Jayda,” Ashley said sitting beside me on the bed.

  “Naw it ain't your fault, if I want something done right, I need to do it myself.”

  “This shit getting heavy, maybe we should just go back to Atlanta, shit was good there.”

  “Why did you come if shit was so good there?”

  “I love you and I wanted to be wherever you were,” she said, feeding me bullshit.

  “So it has nothing to do with all them robberies you pulled on them niggas? It didn't have shit to do with them niggas coming after you!” I snapped.

  “How you know that?” her dumb ass asked.

  “I make it my business to know everything, and I don't appreciate you tryna play me.”

  “I never said I didn't come for more than one reason, but my love for you was the biggest reason.”

  “Yeah aight, well I ain't going back without my man.”

  Chapter Twelve

  (Mega)

  It’s been a month since they tried to kidnap Cherish, and to be honest, she isn't doing good. I have to force her to eat and she hasn't been outside since. She doesn't check the mail, she won't meet Jasmine at the bus stop, she won't do anything that has to do with stepping out the front door. I'm not a doctor, I'm not equipped to handle these kinds of problems and I don't know how to help her other than to catch the niggas that did this shit. I had no choice but to go back to work, I got people that depend on me, and I can't leave it up to Jayda to get it done. Niggas don't know her like that and don't trust her to do what I do for their careers. Getting dressed, I watched as Cherish laid in bed crying, this shit couldn't be healthy for the babies. I have a doctor that was willing to do house visits, and he says she’s in a deep depression. He suggested that someone stay with her at all times. I don't think she would do anything to harm herself and our babies, but to be on the safe side, I have Camille coming and hopefully she can get her out of this slump. Pulling the covers from over her, she yanked them back.

  “I love you lil mama,” I said kissing her cheek. She didn't even say it back, she just continued to cry. Looking at her one last time, I turned around and walked out the room to wait for Camille. Hearing a knock at the door, I got up to open it.

  “Hey, Mega how is she?”

  “Not good, I’ve never seen someone cry everyday and every night.”

  “Is she eating?”

  “Not really, and she won't say anything to me,” I said sadly. I wasn't no bitch nigga, but this shit right here was fucking me up mentally. I loved her with all my heart and to see her in so much emotional pain was heart breaking.

  “I don't understand. She was good when I left her that night, I don't know what happened, but imma find out.”

  “Thanks Cam,” I said hugging her.

  “You good. I called her therapist and she is going to come here tomorrow.”

  “I appreciate it,” I said. We talked for a little longer before I headed to the office. When I got there, I was actually happy to be here instead of home and that wasn't a good look.

  “Hey Jason!” Jayda said running up and hugging me.

  “Hey Jay, how you been?” I asked.

  “I’ve been good, but how are you and Cherish?”

  “Man, shit bad!” I said shaking my head.

  “Damn, I'm sorry,” she replied.

  “It’s cool, let’s get to work, take my mind off the at home shit.”

  “Aight, boss man,” she said. While catching up on paperwork, I couldn't get Cherish off my mind, I was worried about her.

  “Ummmm some police are out here for you,” Jayda said from the intercom.

  “Send them in.”

  “Hello Mr. Cruz, I'm Detective Davis.”

  “What’s this about?”

  “This is about Cherish Daniels.”

  “Is she ok!” I asked, jumping up.

  “Oh no no she’s fine, but we are trying to locate her, we have some news about her mother.”

  “If it’s something bad, she can't handle it right now,” I said shutting him down.

  “I don't understand.”

  “She’s pregnant with twins and suffering from depression, if this is bad news, it needs to wait.”

  “I understand, here’s my card, have her give me a call when she’s up to it,” he said.

  “Thank you for being sympathetic,” I said.

  “No problem. Was she close to her mother?” he asked before leaving.

  “No, her mother abused her severely before meeting me. She ran away and never looked back,” I lied.

  “Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Well you have a good day,” he said before leaving.

  “Is everything ok?” Jayda asked.

  “Yeah everything’s straight, if it ain't one thing it’s another,” I said, stressed the fuck out.

  “Here, let me help you,” she said standing behind me. She began to massage my shoulders and I would be lying if I said that shit didn't feel good as hell.

  “Damn…” I said.

  “You're so stiff, that comes from stress Jason.”

  “Well, I got a lot of shit to stress about.”

  “Well not when you're with me, so relax, I got you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  (Cherish)

  I don't know how this happened, one minute I was ok, and the next I couldn't get out of bed or stop crying. Sometimes I think I'm feeling better and I want to get out of bed and interact with Jasmine, but when I try, the tears start falling and I can't control it. When I think about all that I've been through it makes my heart hurt, literally. I feel this unbearable pain in my chest. I know I have these babies inside me that I have to be strong for, but I'm so tired of fighting and being strong. I was strong with my mom’s abuse, I was a fighter when I bounced back from Caesar and his perverted ways, but now my past and what they did is haunting me. When I close my eyes, I see them in my nightmares. Even from the grave, they won't let me be happy.

  “Hey boo, how are you?” I heard Camille’s voice say. Ignoring her, I just stayed under the cover, hoping that she would get the hint and leave.

  “Cherish, I know you hear me talking to you!” she screamed before yanking the covers back.

  “Get out Camille, damn!”

  “No, I ain't leaving unless your ass is back to normal!” she said opening the curtains to my room.

  “Why you coming in here taking over shit!”

  “Girl, it’s dark as hell in here, you living like a fucking vampire. What you melt if you get some sunlight? Ya ass stinks to high hell and ya fucking hair look like some crows been picking at the shit, hell probably vultures thinking ya ass dead!”

  “Fuck you!”

  “No fuck you for letting them muthafuckas win. You think them niggas that tried to kidnap you are thinking b
out ya ass, you think ya mama and step daddy nasty asses thinking good thoughts about you from hell? Fuck no, they smiling cause you spiraling out of fucking control. What about Meeka and Tyree with their shiesty asses? You letting all these people win.”

  “I'm tired Cam damn, I'm tired of fighting and being strong. I'm so tired of people tryna hurt me, what did I ever do to anybody but be a good person!”

  “You ain't did shit, you had it bad boo, but so did my best friend Shante. Granted, she didn't have it as bad as you did, but she didn't let it keep her down and neither should you.”

  “Well maybe I'm not as strong as Shante. I feel like God played a trick on me, he gave me just enough to think maybe my life was changing, maybe I would be happy, then he snatched that shit and replaced it with the same old drama.”

  “You can't go blaming God; you are the strongest person I know. Come on, you can't let this defeat you.”

  “I don't know what’s wrong with me. I don't feel like moving, I don't feel like living.”

  “You talking crazy, you got people here that love you, babies that didn't ask to be created, it’s your job to give them the love you didn't get!”

  “What if I'm not a good mom?” I asked lowly. I never told anybody that I’d been having these thoughts, but I was.

  “Why wouldn't you be a good mom? You are a great parent to Jasmine, my kids love you to the end, you are kind and loving, what would make you think some shit like that?”

  “I don't want to end up like my mom,” I said through tears.

  “You're not your mom’s crazy ass, you are Cherish muthafucking Daniels!” she screamed.

  “You're right,” I said before going to hug her.

  “Uh huh bitch, you need to hop in the shower and wash that funky kitty kat several times before you can even come near me!” she snapped, causing me to burst out laughing.

  “How is Mega?” I asked while running the shower.

  “He’s worried about you, and I honestly think he feels defeated.”

  “I don't want to lose him Cam.”

  “You won't, but you need to go get ya man,” she said. Hopping in the shower, I couldn't believe that I was that depressed that I stopped washing my ass. I stayed in the shower for over an hour before finally feeling clean enough. When I got out the shower, tossing my hair in a ponytail, I threw on some black maternity jeans, a black and white Polo shirt, my black Jordan’s and I was ready to go.

  “Thank you boo,” I said hugging Camille tight.

  “You would have done it for me, now go ahead and get your man. Oh and you got an appointment for the therapist tomorrow, but I will call her and let her know you will be coming into the office,” she said. Hopping in my car, I adjusted my seat to fit my belly and pulled off on a mission. Stopping by the Cheesecake Factory, I ordered Mega his favorite meal. My next stop was to get him some flowers and a card. Yeah I know men don't like that kind of stuff, but I just wanted to thank him for putting up with me. Pulling up to his office, I waved to the security guard and kept it pushing to the elevator. Walking pass Jayda’s desk, she wasn't there and I was glad that she wasn't, I couldn't stand the sight of her ass. Stepping inside Mega’s office, I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

  “Hey babe!” I said holding the balloons, flowers, card and food, only to find him sitting at his desk with Jayda on top of it in front of him rubbing his shoulders. No they weren't fucking, or kissing, but they should have been. Dropping everything I had in my hands, I charged that bitch, slapping her across the face. I was about to tear her ass up until Mega grabbed me.

  “Get the fuck off me, don't touch me!” I screamed.

  “It’s not what you think!”

  “I think that bitch was between ya legs, rubbing you like she was ya woman!”

  “I know and I'm sorry, but nothing happened, I didn't fuck her!”

  “You should've fucked her, cuz the way I'm feeling, it's just as bad!” I said before slapping him in the face.

  “Don't fucking put ya hands on him bitch!”

  “You so fucking stupid bitch. He don't want you, and even with me gone, it will never be you. But you know what, you can have him and learn the shit for ya self,” I said pulling as much spit and mucus that I could and spitting dead in that bitch’s face before heading for the elevators. With tears clouding my vision, I rushed to my car and pulled off. Grabbing my phone, I was about to call Camille, but changed my mind. When I pulled up to the house I shared with the love of my life, the tears started falling again. How could I be so fucking stupid? Hopping out the car, I rushed to pack my shit. I knew Mega, so I knew he wasn't far behind me so I needed to hurry. Grabbing a piece of paper, I prepared to write him a letter. I knew it was messy and maybe I should have told him this in person, but the way my love for him was set up, as soon as he said sorry I would fall into his arms. Placing the note on the nightstand, I put my bags in my car and I drove away without looking back. My first stop was to Camille’s house. Knocking on the door, I waited for her to answer. When she came to the door, I fell into her arms.

  “What happened boo!” she asked with a scared look. When I ran the story down to her, she was pissed off, just like I knew she would be.

  “I packed my shit and left. If he wants that bitch, he can have her!”

  “I'm supporting you in whatever you choose, but I don't think you should leave him forever. Yeah he needs to be taught a lesson, but he didn't even sleep with the chick, so really he didn't cheat.”

  “He cheated emotionally which is way worse. If you would have seen them Camille, oooohhhh I swear to God I wanted to kill them!”

  “Don't worry, you can stay here,” she said hugging me.

  “No, I'm getting my own place, shit I got the money for it.”

  “So you really done?”

  “I don't know, but what I do know is I love him and I don't see myself with anyone but him,” I said with teary eyes.

  “So do you think he has feelings for her?”

  “I don't know Cam. I feel like she knows him better than me, seeing them interact the way that they were hurt me to the core.”

  “Did you tell him that?”

  “No, I just packed my shit and left, but I did write a letter.”

  “I'm so sorry,” she said hugging me.

  “It’s fine. I love Jason and I hope we end up together forever, but until then, I'm going to work on myself and getting better for Jasmine and the babies.”

  “Damn, so what about Jas?”

  “What you mean? I love that little girl, and just because me and Mega are going through this, I'm not taking it out on her. Maybe I won't be able to tuck her in at night, but I will damn sure be seeing her often.”

  “Awwwww that is so fucking sweet.”

  “Shut up,” I laughed. Honestly, I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would leaving Mega. Of course, I was gonna miss him, but I was more focused on being a better me and if leaving him was what I needed to do to start that process, I was all for it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  (Mega)

  “What the fuck did I do!” I snapped while pacing back and forth in my office. I wanted to go after her and try to explain, but honestly, what would I say.

  “You ain't do nothing wrong,” Jayda said with a smile, while rubbing my arm.

  “Yo, no disrespect, but imma need for you to back the fuck up!” I said grabbing my shit to go home.

  “Where you going?”

  “I'm going to try and stop lil mama from leaving a nigga,” I said walking out. Hopping in my car, I sped home. When I got there, Cherish’s car wasn't there, which I was hopping meant that I’d beat her home. Walking into our house, I looked around. Checking the closet, I noticed a lot of her things were gone, a nigga was fucked up. Grabbing my phone, I called her over and over only for it to go straight to voicemail. As I paced our bedroom floor, my eyes fell onto a note on the nightstand.

  Mega,

  How dare you hurt me after everything that I've been through
. How dare you make me seem like a crazy person when I told you that she wanted you and how dare you put me in such a fucked up situation. I'm pregnant with your children. While I'm sitting home dealing with depression and second guessing myself, you were out building an emotional relationship with someone else. I understand that shit with us has become difficult, which is why I came up to your office to apologize and thank you for sticking with me. Before I met you, I didn't think I would ever find someone that could love me wholeheartedly without wanting anything in return. You saved me, and for that, I will forever be grateful and I will forever see you as a loving and kindhearted man, but I refuse to compete with another woman or be cheated on. I’ve let so many people walk all over me and treat me how they saw fit and I refuse to do that with you. I expected more, maybe I set the bar too high, maybe I expected too much from you, and for that, I'm the stupid one. I love you more than I love life itself, my world revolves around you and Jasmine, always has, but I see now that my love was taken for granted. I see now that as much as I love you, maybe you aren't ready to love me the same in return. I am leaving you, as much as I don't want to, I know it's for the best. I am going to learn to love myself, dedicate all the love and effort that I once gave you to myself.