Lil Mama From The Projects 2: Love In The Ghetto

by Mz. Toni

  “Maybe I won't!”

  “What the hell is going on?” I asked.

  “Talk to your friend!” Mark said before walking away.

  “What happened?” I asked Camille who was on the verge of tears.

  “Everything is all bad,” she said before breaking down. I felt so bad for her. Every movie or show I've seen, the bride was happy, and knowing that my friend wasn't happy hurt me.

  “Why is it all bad Cam?” I asked hugging her.

  “I didn't want to tell Mark, but my mom ain't coming,” she said.

  “You need your mom there. Why isn't she coming?”

  “Man, my mom doesn't think Mark is good enough, and she never did. We got into it heavy when she found out I was pregnant and she supposedly had a change of heart and I thought everything was good, but when I told her we were getting married, she went the fuck off.”

  “Wow, that's fucked up, she is supposed to be there to support you.”

  “I love Mark with all my heart and I’ve always been team fuck the haters, but now it’s weighing heavy on me.”

  “Why haven't you just told Mark about what’s going on instead of pushing him away?”

  “Because I know he gonna say fuck her, we don't need her there, but I need her there Cherish, I really do,” she said. As I held her, my heart really broke for her. I didn't have family that could disapprove of my marriage, so I couldn't imagine how she was feeling right now.

  “I say tell him exactly how you feel Camille, you don't always have to be this strong person, everyone needs their mother sometimes.”

  “Thanks boo. My dad is coming though, and besides the money he’s sent me we haven't really communicated much, he hasn't even seen Mylee.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s my fault. I love my mom so much that when he left I hated him for hurting her, I hated him for her and never gave him a chance.”

  “So does she know your father will be there?”

  “No, but I really don't care. They haven't been together for years; I just want her to move on.”

  “I understand, you know I got you're back, but ain't nothing like having the back of your husband, so tell him so that he can be there to support you.”

  “I swear imma tell him what's going on with me. I feel so bad taking my anger and stress out on him, I know he ain't cheating, but blaming my problems on him is easier than dealing with the real problem.

  “Oh, you know I know all about that,” I said laughing.

  “Yeah, Mega done pissed me off, but I know he loves you and he’s a good guy.”

  “Well today ain't about him, it’s about you and this rehearsal dinner, so come on so we can finish setting up,” I said with a smirk. After we got done fixing up the venue, the people started pouring in and I was getting more and more excited for Camille. This dinner made the fact that she was getting married soon seem all too real.

  “Come here Cherish!” Camille called out to me. Walking over to her, she was standing with an older handsome man and a woman in her late thirties.

  “Hey boo.”

  “I wanted to formally introduce you to my dad, Raphael,” she said with a smile.

  “It's so nice to meet you!”

  “Nice to meet you as well. Camilla has told me nothing but good things about you.”

  “Camilla?” I asked, looking at Camille.

  “Wow, my name is Camille daddy!” she said before trying to storm away.

  “Don't tell me what your name is, I named you myself!” he said proudly.

  “But my name is Camille daddy.”

  “Your mother changed your name to spite me. I named you Camilla, after your big sister that passed away,” he said sadly.

  “Big sister?”

  “Yes, your mother never told you about your older sister?” he asked.

  “No, I thought I was an only child.”

  “You had an older sister that died of SIDS when she was an infant. Your mother took her death extremely hard and instead of embracing her short life and sudden death, she wanted to pretend as if she never existed.”

  “I can't believe she would do that!”

  “Don't be angry with your mother Camilla, I know she probably smothers you, but she can't handle losing another child in any way.”

  “I understand, but damn, not telling me was selfish as hell.”

  “Ummmm I’ll let y'all talk, would you like to come to the buffet with me?” I asked her father's wife.

  “I would love to,” she said walking away with me.

  “Thank you for taking me with you, even though they were aware of me standing there, I felt like I was eavesdropping,” she said with a laugh.

  “So did I and it’s no problem,” I said smiling.

  “How many months are you?” she asked.

  “Oh I'm seven months,” I said proudly rubbing my belly.

  “With twins huh?”

  “Yeah, how did you know?”

  “I’m a gynecologist; I can tell by the way you're carrying.”

  “I read that somewhere, but I thought it was a myth.”

  “Oh, no it’s not, I mean I wouldn't use this method to tell a mother what she’s having, but I do it in my head,” she said laughing.

  “I wanted to become a doctor at one point.”

  “Why not do it, you seem like a bright young lady.”

  “With twins coming and how difficult medical school can be, I don't think I can do it.”

  “You can do anything you put your mind to.”

  “Thank you,” I said with a smile. She seemed really kind hearted and sweet, just from this conversation alone, I could see why Camille’s father married her. We continued to talk while Camille and her father caught up. I was enjoying her company until I felt someone behind me. When I looked up, I was staring face to face with the love of my life.

  “What’s up lil mama,” he said kissing my cheek.

  “Hey Mega,” I said nonchalantly.

  “Why you being like that?”

  “The same reason you left my apartment early as hell without saying anything!” I snapped without meaning to.

  “Woah, why you got an attitude? I didn't think you wanted me there and I didn't mean to fall asleep, so I left when I woke up.”

  “Whatever,” I said before turning my focus back onto Samantha.

  “I'm sorry about that, that’s my children’s father and he irks my entire soul.”

  “That's how every woman is during a pregnancy,” she said laughing.

  “Hmmmm mmmmm I don't know about that.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  (Mega)

  I knew Cherish would be upset, but I wasn't gonna keep playing these games with her, shit she lucky I came over last night. One minute she hates my guts and I can't get so much as a text back, then in the same breath, she’s calling me asking me to come over for dinner. If she doesn't want to be with me then I can't keep doing the back and forth shit, it ain't good for me or Jasmine. When she fell asleep last night her phone went off, I opened the text only to find out that she went on a date earlier that day, but calling me over later that night get the fuck outta here.

  “What up?” I said, dapping Mark, Kasan, Chris and Terrence.

  “Shit, these niggas over here stressing over these crazy chicks,” Kasan said laughing.

  “Nigga shut ya ass up, I know you be at home crying, wondering when Shante gonna come back!” Mark said laughing.

  “Fuck you!”

  “Y'all funny as hell,” I said, shaking my head.

  “So I heard Cherish lil cute ass kicked you to the curb,” Kasan said laughing.

  “Fuck you nigga, imma get lil mama back!” I said fake fighting Kasan.

  “Man on some real shit though, I don't know what’s going on with Camille, she been snapping on a nigga on a regular basis.”

  “Shorty just stressed about the wedding,” Chris said.

  “Yeah, you might be right,” Mark replied.

  “R
eal talk nigga, you gonna have to pull out all the stops to win lil mama back,” Mark said seriously.

  “I know, but I'm trying to wait until after she drops my babies,” I said before showing them the ultrasound pictures on my phone.

  “Damn, you bout to be a dad to not one baby, but two,” Kasan said.

  “Yeah, I got my baby girl Jas, and now imma have two more, but I'm happy as hell,” I said happily.

  “Y'all niggas raise y'all glasses. My nigga done did the unthinkable, he marrying the love of his life, and real talk I'm the older cousin, but I look up to this nigga for stepping up and making shit right with crazy ass Camille, y'all fit each other like a fucking puzzle piece. Congrats!” Kasan said before we took the shots back.

  “Thanks, all y'all got the perfect women. Chris, Queesha love ya dirty draws my nigga. Terrence we ain't known you long, but you came at the perfect time because Shana has been hurt badly. Kasan, my nigga you fucked up royally, but we all know how much you love Shante’s stubborn ass, you just make sure when you get her back you treat her right. And my nigga Mega, you got you a real keeper. This chick done been through hell, literally, and without you who knows where she would be right now. You ain't really fuck up in my opinion, but you hurt an already hurt girl, so you have some making up to do. Over all like I said, we got some good ass females in our lives and don't let me be the only one to make an honest woman out of one of them.”

  “Yo, you soft as shit!” Kasan screamed.

  “Aight, don't say I didn't try and school y'all dumb ass negroes,” he said shaking his head.

  “Nigga don't say we didn't try and warn you, Camille crazy as hell,” Kasan said laughing.

  “Hell yeah she is, she done corrupted my lil mama!” I cosigned.

  “I already know my wife crazy and I love it, she be ready to bust her gun for a nigga.”

  “True, ain't nothing wrong with a down ass crazy chick,” Terrence said with a laugh.

  “Fellas I’ll be back, imma go mess with my future,” I said before walking away from them. I watched as lil mama talked to the lady and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked carrying my babies inside of her. She had the brightest glow, and although this pregnancy has been hard on her, you wouldn't be able to tell. She was wearing a long flowing red maxi dress with a little sweater over it and instead of wearing heels; she had on a pair of red and white Adidas. I thought she looked so sexy. I was use to women wearing high heels and short dresses, but looking at Cherish was like a breath of fresh air. Her chocolate skin was glistening and she didn't have on a bit of makeup, she was simple and I loved that about her.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked, standing behind her.

  “I'm keeping Samantha company, Jason,” she replied.

  “I'm ok, go head and talk to this handsome man,” the woman said with a smile. Helping Cherish out of her chair, we walked over to a more quiet area.

  “You know I miss you, right?” I asked her.

  “I miss you too Mega,” she said nervously.

  “Why can't we try and work this out?”

  “I already told you why, I just need to deal with things alone.”

  “But you're not alone!”

  “See, why you gotta start being loud?” she said attempting to get up and walk away.

  “I'm sorry, don't leave. This shit is just stressful, I need you with me.”

  “I can't do that right now. I can't love you or our kids until I learn to love and accept myself.”

  “So you want a nigga to wait around for you?” I said out of anger and confusion.

  “Wow, no I do not want a nigga to wait around for me, I never asked you to.”

  “So you good not being with me?”

  “I never said that!”

  “You didn't have to say shit, you're actions said it all. You left me because you needed some space so you say, but you going on dates and shit

  “I didn't do shit but go to the park with him damn. Did you forget about you and that bitch Jayda and what ya ass did. Fuck all that why are you even going through my phone!”

  “Do you blame me for getting close with her as much as you push me away? I didn't do shit but love and support you all for you to push me away cuz what that pervert nigga did to you. You don't want to admit it cuz it's so easy for you to blame me for everything, but you’re the reason why we’re fucked up!” I snapped.

  “You know what Jason, this conversation needs to take place at another time,” she said getting out the chair and waddling away. I swear I played this conversation out totally different in my head. I thought I would pour my heart out to her and she would see how much I love and miss her and come running home. Instead, I let my anger get the best of me. I mean what the fuck, I'm a good ass nigga, I don't and shouldn't have to wait around for her.

  “You know what Cherish; you go head and do you, cuz I plan on doing my own thing. Fuck is you to think imma wait around for you to snap your fingers and take me back!” I screamed. Stopping in her tracks, she turned around and looked at me through teary eyes before turning around and walking away.

  “Really Mega, did you have to embarrass her like that!” Camille screamed.

  “Man fuck her, she wanna act like I cheated or some shit!”

  “This is my rehearsal dinner; you should have waited to talk about that shit!”

  “Waited until when? It’s like pulling teeth to get as much as a text back from her ass.”

  “You are so fucking selfish,” Camille said shaking her head and walking away to catch lil mama.

  “Nigga you tipsy as hell, you need to go home and sleep this shit off,” Chris said.

  “Imma little fucked up, but everything I said I fucking meant. She wanna be done, she wanna play games, fuck her!”

  “You don't mean that nigga,” Mark said shaking his head.

  “Man fuck this, I'm out!” I said before leaving. When I got home, I took my ass to sleep and that shit felt good as hell. Ever since Cherish left, I ain't been doing shit but stressing about her ass, well all that shit is done.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  (Cherish)

  “I can't believe Jason said those things to me, but what hurt the most was that he was right,” I said to my therapist.

  “So you admit that it’s your fault?”

  “I'm not saying it’s all my fault because he shouldn't have been entertaining that bitch, but maybe I kind of pushed him away and into the arms of her. I just wasn't over the things that happened in my past,” I said honestly.

  “Don't you think that you guys should talk about this?” she asked.

  “I don't have anything to say to him right now. You told me not to react off of anger, and if I spoke to him, that's exactly what would happen.”

  “What are you so angry with him about?”

  “He embarrassed me at that dinner.”

  “No Cherish, you were mad at him before that. Even though you knew he didn't sleep with that girl, you still reacted as though he did, which is understandable to a certain extent, but even after time passed, you still haven't forgiven him. So my question is why are you so upset with him?”

  “I don't know.”

  “You do know, maybe you're not ready to let it out.”

  “So what should I do?” I asked.

  “I can't tell you what you should do Cherish. This is your life and every decision in it should be up to you, but what I will say is talking about it makes it easier to handle, so maybe it is best if you set up a group session.”

  “Maybe you're right, I’ll think about it.”

  “Alright, so aside from you relationship issues, how else has your past been affecting your present?”

  “I have been really good, and for the most part, happy. The only thing now is the fact that I'm having a daughter and that scares the shit out of me. I mean, I am my mother’s daughter so what if I turn out just like her. I couldn't imagine doing the things my mother did to me to my own children, but it st
ill scares me.”

  “What exactly makes you think that you will turn out like her, you are her child, but you aren't her, you're Cherish and you are a good person.”

  “My friend Camille said the same thing,” I said laughing through my tears.