by Kara L. M.
“I don’t really think I am going to do anything. Plus my Mom would never allow me to leave the country.” I winked.
“You have so many friends I am sure you will have some big party?” He questioned.
He was right a few weeks ago I had my heart set on a big party, but with how things were complex between Zeke, Austin and my friends I wasn’t sure if it was worth the drama.
“You need to get me home if you want to be on time.” I pressed. He rolled his eyes.
“Don’t avoid the topic.”On the ride to my house he came up with ideas for gifts.
“I could take you shopping?”
“Wow you would subject yourself to that?” I teased back.
“I think I could handle watching you try on skimpy outfits all afternoon.” He flashed that devilish grin.
“Austin!” I squealed as I hit him in the arm. “I just want you on my Birthday.” I said softly.
“That’s original.” He complained.
I leaned over and kissed him hoping he would see it my way. He was smiling after. Success! “Have fun at work”. I said leaving the car. “Don’t miss me too much.” He said with a wink. When I arrived at home my Mom had tacos ready for dinner.
“Homework go ok?” She questioned.
“Yes, I have the best tutor in the world.” I beamed.
“Well it’s good to hear math will be out of your way soon. So your birthday is coming up, do you still want a party?”
“Actually I am glad you brought that up, I would rather keep it small. My friends are all busy and well dinner would be fine.” I said. She looked surprised.
“You wanted a big party just a few weeks ago.”
“Well a lot can happen in a few weeks.”
That night I received a text from Zeke. “Liv thanks for the note, I am not sure I will ever understand you and Austin but I still want to be friends, always”. I felt relieved, his reaction was better than expected. I was in such a good mood I decided to go running with Samantha. I had been meaning to go before but being caught up in my own drama and injuries had made me unavailable.
“Hey girl!” she shouted from the bottom of my driveway. “Let’s go run by all the cute guys’ houses.” She grinned. She had a body that the guys all loved and I figured if I wanted to stand a chance to keep Austin I needed to get my butt in gear. We ran up and down the hilly neighborhood lightly talking about her and Nic.
“He’s great but I am not sure I want to be tied down in high school, you know what I mean, and I may have a shot at a hot senior!” She said. I laughed. Just four weeks ago I would have agreed. “Well do what feels right. I mean if you don’t want to lose Nic then don’t, but I know what you mean about being free.” We slowed our run to a jog. “So what does that mean for you? Are you and Austin serious now?” “Well I think so, we had the talk the other night and it’s pretty solid I guess.”
I couldn't hide my smile. Thinking of being near him made me light up. “Wow, I guess I can count you out of boy hunting for your birthday then?” “I guess so, but he works a lot of nights so I can assist if you need a wing girl” I elbowed her. “Let’s start now, remember Zach? His house is up here.” I remembered Zach, we had a class together last year, and it was Spanish I think? He was super cute but older and not interested in me. We ran by his house and he and his friends were out. One cute guy yelled to Samantha, we slowed our jog and stopped in the road. “Who’s your friend?” Zach smiled at me. Shouldn’t he know me by now? Apparently sitting behind him in school for a quarter didn’t mean he would remember me. “This is Liv.” We sat there for a few minutes talking about weekend plans. I stayed quiet since I had no interest in putting myself out there. “Well we need to keep running, see ya.” She smiled all flirty. Nic would have for sure been jealous, but I couldn't judge her. We were young and if I wasn't tied to Austin I would have been flirting too. Zach was as cute as I remember but no one compared to Austin.
The next day went by slowly. I had to help at my Grandma’s doing yard work. I was in a pretty bad mood to start but knowing I would miss my window to see Austin before he had work was making it worse. At home I showered and then I received a text that the girls wanted to go to a movie. I needed some girl time and was grateful for the distraction. Samantha and Katie showed up an hour later to get dolled up.
“So Austin and I are together.” I admitted.
“What that was fast!” Said Katie.
“Please it’s about time; bad boys are easy to get but harder to keep.” Samantha joked.
Carly showed up after we were ready in her new silver Jetta. She had no interest in getting ready with us, her closet held way more than all of ours put together. But when she came in the door she eyed my t-shirt and shorts and handed me a pink gift bag. “What’s this for?” I asked. “Happy 16th Birthday!” she squealed. “It’s not until Monday but thank you!” I flung out the tissue and found a gorgeous black shirt with cream swirls. I put it on and it fit perfectly like all of Carly’s clothes. The shirt was stunning and I couldn’t help but love it. I could tell Katie and Samantha were a bit jealous. “Thank you!” I beamed and hugged her. “Let’s go!” Carly said as she headed to the door. I was lucky for my friends to distract me from a lonely night while Austin worked. We had just become a couple and I wanted to spend all my time with him.
Carly pushed the Jetta quickly up and down the hills of our neighborhood. The summer air forced its way through the open windows, swirling our hair around. We were halfway to the movie theatre when Katie’s little brother called her phone.
“What? Are you serious? Fine, be right there.” Katie said hanging up her phone.
“My little brother sprained his ankle skateboarding at the park can we go grab him and take him home please?” Katie pleaded to Carly.
“Uh, I guess, we may be late to the movie.” Carly complained.
“We will only miss the previews.” Samantha said.
We drove up the hill to Flat Iron Park and I thought I saw Zeke’s truck. My stomach sank to my toes. I didn’t feel like running into him just yet. But maybe we wouldn’t. We left the car to find Katie’s brother but as we reached the pavilion I spotted a bunch of balloons and people. They were my friends, my family and a cake. “Surprise!” they all yelled.
My mouth dropped. What was happening? I had purposely told Mom no big party. But I walked up, hugged her and thanked her for setting it up. I then ran around to all my friends giving hugs and laughing. I saw Zeke and he came over and hugged me. “Happy Birthday girly”. Ok good, still friends like his text said. After hanging out for a bit we went ice blocking down the park’s hill. It sounds weird but its fun. You take a large block of ice from the store and put a towel on top and you sit on top of a towel on the ice and ride down the grass. We were flying down the hill and would eventually wobble and roll off laughing. Katie and I tried to fit on one block of ice which was a joke. I was having the best time. Some of these friends I hadn’t seen in forever. We did the traditional birthday cake and song and my Mom and brother took off. We danced the rest of the night, making up new moves and laughing.
Later a few of my friends were flirting with a group of guys I had never met before. “Happy Birthday.” A cute dark hair guy smiled at me. “Thanks!” This interaction would have been more exciting except all I could think about was how I wish Austin was here with his arms wrapped around me. I slipped out of my daydream as Zeke sat next to me on the picnic bench. Most of my friends had gone off on walks with guys and the rest had left. Only a few were sitting near me. “So boyfriend-less on your birthday?” He teased. “I guess so, he works and to be honest my Mom probably wouldn’t have invited him anyways.” I joked, even though it was truer than I wanted to admit. “So you feel sixteen?” He asked. “I feel ready for high school if that is what you mean. If Mom would let me drive I would be more excited, but she bribed me with a car if I wait till I am seventeen.” I smiled big. “Well if you ever need a ride you can call me.”
He was
so sweet and I could tell he meant it. It was so easy to like him. “I know you're taken but I wanted to give you something, you know as a friend.” He pulled out silver wrapped box. It was a silver strand necklace with a diamond circle at the end. “Samantha mentioned the one you wore on our date wasn’t yours, but you looked beautiful with it.” He smiled. “Samantha would tell you that, but wow.” No boy had ever given me something this nice. I gave him a big hug. “Thanks Zeke, I am glad we are friends.” We chatted about his summer soccer practices and the cute girls playing at a nearby camp. I noticed that all my friends were no longer by us. They must have gone on a “walk” with the boys they were chatting with.
“Oh great, I don't want to wait for them to all make out” I complained. “Well I could help you out with that but don’t think Austin would approve.” He joked. “Zeke!” I said while pushing his arm. “Want a ride girly?” “Actually that would be great!” We hopped in his truck and for a moment I thought about how different this night would have been if Austin and I weren’t together. I would always wonder about Zeke but not enough to see.
We pulled up to my house and Austin was sitting on my porch with a flower. My heart jumped at the sight of him waiting for me. “Looks like he didn’t completely forget.” Zeke joked. I gave him a half awkward hug and thanked him for the ride. He was about to get out and I decided to open my own door quickly to make this moment less awkward. “Thanks again, see you later Zeke.” I smiled and shut the door. I could tell it bothered him that I exited so quickly. He was the perfect gentleman and he would have wanted to open my door.
Austin stood up in his dark jeans and white button up. I won the lottery in the hotness department for sure! Zeke hadn’t quite pulled away when Austin lifted me up and kissed me. “Happy Birthday gorgeous.” He whispered in my ear. My body awakened from the slumber of being away from him. “I am so glad you are here.” I whispered back. “I didn’t want you to miss out on all the fun. But it looks like I got here just in time.” He chuckled as he sat me down. “It was only a ride home.” I assured him. “This is for you.” He handed me a box of Belgian chocolates and a single pink gerbera daisy, my favorite flower. Tears built in my eyes. “Thanks, you are so sweet.” I mumbled. “Of course, you said simple.” He half smiled.
I wanted to take him inside my house and scream from my lungs that I loved this boy, and we’re together so deal with it. But I decided my Mom didn’t deserve that. She thoughtfully threw me a party tonight. “I wish you could have been there.” I said as we walked hand and hand up the road. “Katie invited me through text. But of course I had to work. But tell me how it was?” He asked. “Well I was surprised! But it was fun seeing old friends and making some new ones. We danced, ice blocked and chilled. But I missed you.” The last word was laced in sick teenage love.
“I wish I could have been there, I see that your watchdog made sure to get you home.” He laughed, but I swore I heard jealousy in his joke. “Oh Zeke, he’s a good buddy, don’t worry I told him that me and you are together.” I smiled. “Good.” He said as he tugged me into his arms and kissed me. “That’s a pretty necklace, from your parents? Or was this your friends, you cute little klepto?” He asked as he touched the diamond. My stomach clenched, I was a bit nervous to tell him.
“Actually from Zeke, but it was just a friendly gesture.” Somehow the words coming out my mouth were not convincing. “Don’t underestimate his feelings for you.” He said it like a warning. I was caught off guard by his hostility. “Well we are just friends, so don’t worry about it.” I shot back with a bit more anger than I was going for. “Just saying, a beautiful girl will always have followers.” He stated as a matter of fact. “And you don’t have girls following you? The girls undress you with their eyes everywhere we go.” I raised my eyebrow at him. He laughed. “Maybe, but the difference is I could NEVER feel what I feel for you for anyone else. But the same doesn't necessarily go for you.” I shivered at the thought of me choosing someone over Austin. It was preposterous! “As long as you don’t hop on some ship and leave Earth, you won’t have to worry about it.” His eyes grew wide and he then smiled. “You have no idea.” He breathed.
After embracing we went and sat on the hill next to my house. I knew I had to be inside by twelve so there wasn’t time to go anywhere. I laid in his lap and we stared at the night sky. He adoringly played with my hair which was heaven.
“Do you know where your planet is?” I asked. He shifted a bit as if he was uncomfortable.
“Yes and no, I have studied my mother’s books enough to know the basic details of where I am from. It’s a place call Octavia. Much like Earth in its resources but the air is a bit different. It changes color where energy sources are thriving. So you and I for example would have a brilliant red energy cloud around us that we could see.”
“That sounds crazy. But red?” I asked.
“The color of passion.” He laughed that devilish laugh that I loved.
“Ahh, that is cool it’s like you don’t have to hide the energy that keeps you alive.” I said.
“It makes it hard to conceal feelings but it also makes it effortless to show the world you’re together. Unlike earth, where any old guy could think you're vulnerable!” He poked my side and I let out a laugh.
“Hey, I told Zeke about us and don’t you worry, the look in my eyes gives me away any day. But tell me more do aliens have normal jobs and homes?”
“No we ride around in spaceships trying to take over planets.”
“Come on, I want to know what you would be doing if you weren’t here with me.”
“Ahh, that’s the thing, I would like to think I would have fallen for someone else and been working and living there but there is no way I could find someone like you there.”
I melted. I loved how he talked with strong conviction in his words.
“Time for you to go in, we can talk more tomorrow”.
“Tomorrow? You know I have family time.” He smiled big
“We will go early so we both can have some special time.”
He winked as he pointed to the mountains. My stomach twisted in memory of our last date in the mountains that had me fighting for his and my life as well as tearing us apart.
“As long as you promise that it doesn’t involve dangerous hikes!” I said sternly.
He grabbed my face and kissed me and all my anxiety disappeared. Who was I kidding; I would follow him up the most treacherous trails to be with him.
Chapter 11: The hard truth
The next few months went by the way a good book gets you caught up in every word completely lost in a perfect fantasy. Austin became more thoughtful with each date, we spent most of our time in the mountains of course but he also treated me to movies and lovely restaurants. We were inseparable. I hadn’t seen my friends in weeks. We tried to make it to group gatherings but once we cuddled and became caught up in our kissing affair there was no pulling away from each other's energy to go to a party we both didn’t want to be at anyway.
Life tasted more brilliant when I was with Austin. All my senses were heightened. I could taste the complicated mixtures the chef’s had concocted on my dinner plate, the music from the stereo beat in my heart as I felt each emotion the singer was portraying and the passionate side of things were becoming incredibly heated. I felt more alive in the last weeks with Austin than I had the last sixteen years. But with all perfect things in life the other shoe must drop and when it did, it dropped hard.
Austin and I spent every moment together kissing. We put off lunch, homework and eventually my curfew to lock lips. The movies we put on in my basement were all for show, just to steal another moment away in a dark space without questions asked. I never wanted to be with someone more in my life but the guilt would tug and tug my heart until it unraveled. One night we were kissing and things were going faster and hotter. I pushed off of Austin and stood up from the couch.
“I can’t do this.” My emotion of stress and confusion broke across
my face. “I mean I want to but this isn’t me, I am a good girl and I can’t keep getting closer to you in this way.” I hung my head. Austin sat up and leaned his head against the couch. This wasn't the first time I had done this. In fact it had been a recurring scene from the last month of make outs that started to go a bit too far. Each time our long talks would end with him saying he respected my wishes and I saying it wouldn’t happen again. That we wouldn’t let it get that far. This time was different; because more than ever I wanted him in the way I could tell he wanted me. This time I felt so unbelievably broken over the situation that I started to cry.
“You know I love you, you do but this isn’t what I want. I want to kiss you so much that I forget about everything else. If it wasn’t for your math skills I would have never passed summer school. I am worried I am losing me in the process of diving deeper in with you.” The tears rolled hard now.
“I am sorry Liv, I can’t help but feel we are meant to be together in every way. I know this is hard for you and if I was back on my planet I would have been married by now. It’s partly why I can’t keep my hands off you. It’s in my blood to be with you by now.”
My heart was beating rapidly at the meaning of his words. Marriage and be with you. But the guilt kept sinking in my stomach like a heavy rock pulling more weight than ever before.
“We used to talk often and get out, we don’t anymore. I am not sure if we even know how to anymore.” I said defeated.
“Liv,?” He asked with concern blanketing his face.
“I just think I need a break, I mean we both do, this is heating up so fast and I need to get my head on straight. I am sixteen and I am not ready to be married.” I confessed.
“If that is what you want.” His response surprised me. I was gearing up with a self righteous speech to give if he tried to fight for me to stay.
“It’s what I want, let’s give it three months and if we still love each other it will work out and maybe we can establish better boundaries.”