Imperfect Bastard

by Pamela Ann

  “How long will you be gone?” I asked.

  That masked face, which I began to hate, assessed me. “For however long I need.”

  Was this his way of pulling away? Yes, you’ve seen him do this. Don’t be fooled. He’s losing interest.

  “I’ll join you after this. I’ll meet you downstairs, okay?”

  He slid his hands in the pockets of his black denim jeans. “Don’t. I’m fine. Just stay here.”

  Please, I’m not ready to let him go. One more day. I need one more day.

  “You do plan on coming back, right?”

  He gave me a long, measuring gaze before the corner of his lips lifted. “Sure. Whatever you wish, Chloe.”

  With a heavy heart, I watched him walk away, still troubled over why it had pissed him off that I’d decided to make a phone call.

  “Cori?”

  “The first woman to ditch me while I almost drank myself to a stupor. You ran away so fast I didn’t know what hit me,” he drawled, unmistakably drunk. “You know what’s fucked up? I can’t stop thinking about you now. How can you be so mean, Chloe?”

  Well, damn. That was a rather long speech.

  “I’m sorry. Something came up.”

  “A man?”

  “Yeah.” I owed him the truth after I had abandoned him tonight.

  “You love him?”

  He was so direct I found it unnerving, but I appreciated the approach, no bullshit or games.

  “I unfortunately do.”

  “He doesn’t love you. I can tell from your voice and the simple fact that no man in his right mind would let his woman out and about the city with other men.”

  Sigh. The truth hurt like a bitch, and he had delivered it coldly.

  “I told you I was single, Cori. It wasn’t a lie.”

  “Good, because you owe me a date.” There was a smile in his tone, confident as ever.

  “I do, don’t I?”

  He didn’t mind that I was in love with another man. That was bold, and I liked that he was persistent in wanting to go out with me still.

  “How does Monday sound?” Wade was supposed to take me out, but given my connection with Cori, I decided to drop Mason for Friday. Juggling men wasn’t my forte, and besides, I had a feeling that Cori and I would be great as friends. Whatever else, I left that open just in case.

  “Monday sounds like two fucking days from now, but I’ll take whatever’s available. Promise me you won’t ditch me again?”

  “I promise, Cori.”

  “Good.” He laughed. “See you Monday, Red.”

  “Red?”

  “That red dress. Know that I’m going to be dreaming of ripping that off tonight.”

  My mouth went dry. “Bye, Cori. Sleep well.” I cut off the call before he could manage to plant more images in my head.

  Cori Oliver was brash, uncouth, and one of the sexiest sins I had ever come across. But underneath all of that crudeness, he was gentle in his own way. Monday would be interesting.

  Left alone in the room, I strode into the bathroom to freshen up. I stared at my solemn reflection, wondering where that temporary empowerment that hummed in my veins had gone. It was as if the moment Drew’s lips had kissed mine, he had sucked all of that energy out and left me in this fragile and insecure state while he continued on with his guarded, silent treatment of me, barricading himself when he sensed something that could potentially hurt his pride and ego.

  That barrier was automatic. You could literally feel it as he detached himself from his surroundings, protecting himself. It was insane how he had the capability to do that in a heartbeat, like he had spent most of his life doing so.

  Giving a melancholy sigh, I carefully washed my hands just as my phone beeped with a text message from Cori.

  Life is short, Red. Don’t waste your time with guys who won’t give you what you deserve. I’m not saying I’m anything better, but you’re a cool chick. Hearing your voice earlier made me realize that it only takes one asshole to fuck up a chick, and that leaves a whole shitty trail of more complicated shit for the rest of us guys who have somewhat good intentions. Like I said, I’m no better, but at least I won’t string you along. You know what you’re getting from me. Good girls like you need a bad guy with a whole lot of heart. I’m not afraid of a little competition. Think about it.

  Cori thought I was a good girl?

  His message was a true reflection of him, and it saddened me to think that a mere stranger saw more than I had showed him. He was right, though; I knew what I would get from him.

  Drew, on the other hand, was headstrong about not dating me, but still wanted me physically, albeit reluctantly. At times, I could feel his struggle, even when he had been inside of me. I had sensed that he loathed himself for wanting me so much.

  It wasn’t the greatest feeling to know that he wanted me against his will. However, it was difficult to deny him.

  “You don’t have to. You can just leave, and he won’t even know it.” I was gearing myself up for the next move.

  He was at the bar; he wouldn’t even know I left. Knowing how he functioned, I doubted he would chase after me. He would most likely go back to his rich friends and smoke, drink, and fuck models. Wash, rinse, and repeat.

  Eyeing my glum reflection, I made a determined nod as I wiped the moisture off the sides of my eyes before reapplying another kohl layer atop the faint one then redoing my lipstick.

  “There. Much better,” I said out loud, noting that my saddened eyes were no longer apparent. In their place was mystery. The dark liner made my eyes glow much more strikingly than before.

  Exiting the bathroom, I paused to take one steady breath for encouragement before resuming my steps toward the main door. Chin up and be proud, scars, broken heart, and all.

  Yanking the door open, I was about to take another step when I found Drew casually leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, as pensive as ever.

  Fuck.

  “Going somewhere?” His gaze flickered to my clutch before pinning me with those artic eyes of his. His demeanor was twice as bad. How did he manage to be so manipulative without words?

  Nervous didn’t define me. Try borderline hysterical. Everything felt so stifled. I couldn’t breathe. Drew never used to intimidate me like this, but things had shifted between us from bad to disastrous.

  “I, uh … came looking for you.” Fuck, there I went, lying again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just say I was ready to scram because he was colder than the peak at Mount Everest?

  “Dishonesty doesn’t suit you, cupcake.”

  Fuck you, too. If he weren’t so aggravating, I wouldn’t take drastic measures to preserve myself from him.

  “You don’t want me. I can’t read you. I’m even beginning to think that I’m going mental. It’s just too much, Drew.”

  “Has it ever occurred to you that I needed a drink because you ought to be fucking him instead of me?” He held his composure, barely revealing his emotions.

  “I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “You were just leaving. I don’t have to wonder where you might be off to.” He stepped aside, giving me space to walk away. “I’m not stopping you a second time, Chloe.”

  He was the most infuriating person I had ever come across!

  “Why do you have to be so …? You weren’t like this before. You’re so serious about everything. You make me fucking nervous. Your eyes fucking cut me. You’re hot one minute then cold the next. What am I supposed to think, Drew? I need the old you back. This harsh, corporate asshole, Columbia guy … It’s too much for me.” I shrilled, halfway from going ballistic on him, my voice echoing into the hallway.

  He dropped his gaze to floor for a few seconds before he pushed himself away from the wall and walked toward me.

  “I’m sorry this happened again. I shouldn’t have,” he said in an emotionless tone before walking past me and straight into the room.

  Somewhere deep within, I heard someth
ing crack. I thought it was my temper finally boiling over to lunacy.

  “You’re sorry?” I said while my eyes did that knowing crazy roll before I slammed the door shut and marched toward him. Jerking his arm so he could face my wrath, I felt anger course through my veins as I eyed him menacingly before slapping his cheek, too overwhelmed by emotions. “Were you sorry that you hijacked my night? Or was it when you fucked me raw? Were you sorry then, too?”

  My hand was halfway from landing on his cheek once again when he caught my arm, swiftly twisting it behind my back. Then he roughly pushed my body against the wall.

  Panting into the wall, I reeled when he wrenched my underwear off, tearing it away from my body. Before I could protest, he lodged his dick into my pussy, evoking a sound that resembled a moan and growl.

  “Do you feel just how sorry I am?” he growled as he pushed farther into me, stretching my swollen canal to fully accommodate his monstrous size. “Keep choking my cock like that. Don’t let go,” he ordered.

  I tried with all my might to control my muscles while withstanding the ferocity of his thrusting.

  Delirious, he grabbed my hair, bunching it into his fist before pulling my head backward so my head rested against his chest. Without breaking pace, he then used that hand to push the small triangles that covered my chest, freeing my breasts. Both hands took hold of my sensitive globes, grabbing them as he slowed his pace.

  He then heavily breathed into my ear, “Where do you want me to nut, Chloe?” as he toyed with my nipples.

  “Inside of me.” The last time had made me feel complete, and I wanted to see if he could take me there again, becoming whole with him.

  “How badly do you want it?”

  A cry escaped my lips when he twisted and pulled my nipple, making it twice as sensitive. “I want you. I crave every lost drop of you … always.”

  “Keep still. Make yourself available to me. Don’t deny me your body.”

  Kissing my neck, he skillfully played my body like a beautiful instrument, relieving me of any energy, of any thought, becoming subdued, languid, and submissive, a slave to its master. And just when I thought it couldn’t get more intense, he secured his hand around my neck while he gripped my hip with the other hand before he brought me into a screaming pinnacle of orgasm.

  “Don’t let go. Tighter!” he bellowed while I came around his engorged cock as he furiously pounded in and out of my channel. “Just like that, baby, just like that,” he incoherently huffed out before biting my neck as his dick expanded, injecting his semen into my womb.

  A soft smile crept onto my face as I lavished on the rapid beat of his heart against my back. He kissed the very spot he had bruised with his teeth, soothing it.

  He was still lodged inside of me, larger than life, while he made small, soft strokes, discharging the last bit of his essence into me before I moved my face to the side, facing him.

  “Did that make you feel better?”

  “A little,” he whispered before kissing the tip of my nose.

  I sought his face, softly caressing it while my eyes were halfway shut, happily drained of ambition. “No more fighting?”

  “I didn’t realize we were,” he teased as he softly gazed into my eyes.

  “I forgot that’s just the usual for us.” I snickered. “I hate that I love you.”

  “You don’t mean that.” His face turned somber. “I’m only the happiest when I’m with you.” He aimed for my heart, forever holding it captive.

  “Really? I don’t believe it.”

  “I do.” He gazed into me before kissing me thoroughly, passionately. “You make me happy.”

  Just as Cori had stated, Drew wasn’t in love with me, and I wasn’t trying to pursue such grand illusions about it. Without the possibility of him falling in love with me, this was the next best thing—making him the happiest man when we were together … if I were willing to settle for second best. However, I knew that, even though I was satisfied with what I had with him, someday soon, I would want more from him, and Drew didn’t have the capacity to fill the void that ached inside of me. As much as I hated to think about it after what he and I had just shared, I knew, come Monday, I had to let him go.

  ★

  Adamant that I didn’t fall asleep, Drew convincingly kept me up in bed. It was already the crack of dawn, and he was about to leave for school in a few hours while I made my way back to the condo. This had been a whirlwind, and I knew I would forever keep these memories in my memory bank to cherish and look back at when I was alone.

  “The sunrise is breathtaking from here,” he intoned before pulling me toward him while I rested my cheek on his chest.

  The bedroom had floor to ceiling glass that gave a one hundred and eighty-degree view, so when the sun began to rise, glowing from afar, I felt this serenity awash me as we quietly viewed one of life’s most beautiful moments. There was nothing like it, and I was truly glad that he had persisted that I watch it with him.

  It was almost six when my eyes began to water from lack of sleep. When he suggested we order in breakfast, I had to wave the white flag. His stamina was insane, and I was having a hard time trying to catch up with him.

  “Go ahead. Eat your heart out. I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you when I see you.”

  “You don’t want to talk?” he asked softly, stroking my back.

  “There’s nothing much to be said that we haven’t said to each other. I’m good; you’re good; we’re good.” I had to laugh at my idiocy

  “Are you sure?”

  Quite.

  “You bet,” I mumbled before sinking deeper into his arms and passing out.

  I somewhat remembered how he held me for a stretch of time before he called in for room service. Vaguely, I recalled the shower running while he got ready to leave, but what I vividly remembered was the kiss he gave me before leaving.

  It wasn’t the kiss per say. It was the affection I felt from it. He had wanted to say something, but dared not to. There was no mistaking that we were fond of each other, yet we both knew this had to end.

  The next few days in the apartment would no doubt be challenging. Nevertheless, since I had the boys and now Cori, I was sure I wouldn’t spend much of my time indoors anymore.

  Getting over him wouldn’t be easy. Hell, I wasn’t sure it was possible, but I had to at least try. It was all I could do. It was the best I could do.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Should I ask how your weekend went?” Cori teased as I slowly chewed on a piece of calamari. We were having dinner a few blocks away from the apartment in this new joint I wanted to try out.

  “You could say it was unexpected …” I lamely responded before reminding myself to divert the subject back to him. Dwelling on how it all had gone down with Drew still gnawed deeply. After all, it had been twelve hours since I had fallen asleep in his arms, and I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since. “How’d yours go? Still flirting your way around town, picking up chicks new to the city?” Myself included, I thought with a smile.

  “Hey, no need to air out my dirty tricks.” He laughed before popping a piece of bread into his mouth.

  Cori was so laid back and casual, not to mention crazy sexy in his own rough kind of way. Unlike Drew, he wasn’t demanding of my emotional and mental focus. I liked that very much.

  “I’m going to be away this coming weekend,” he said, garnering my attention away from dwelling on my wasted lost love.

  “Where to?”

  “SoCal. There’s this thing called Slamfest, and I’m going to be a part of it.” He considered me for a moment before casually leaning against his chair. “Why don’t you come? I could use the extra support.”

  I laughed, not at his invitation, but at his statement about needing extra support.

  “I have a feeling you’re not lacking in that department, Cori. There’s no need to be coy with me.”

  “All right, all right,” he said, chuckling as he shook his head. “Man, you r
eally have it out for me, don’t you? But I’m being serious. It’s close to where you’re from. You can invite friends if you like.”

  The idea of seeing Courtney made me almost say yes. “I don’t know … This is going too fast—”

  “I’m not asking for anything except to have you there, cheering me on. I’ll even lay off the seduction if that’ll make it easier for you,” he countered.

  “How noble of you,” I retorted, barely avoiding rolling my eyes at him.

  “I’m trying my best here, Red.” He shrugged before reaching out across the table to cover my hand with his. “Give me a little credit. This declaration might fuck me up big time, but I want you there. That’s all.”

  Did the guy ever hide anything? He was like an open book, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

  “When are you leaving?” I found myself asking.

  “This Friday.”

  “In four days?” I blurted out before he confirmed it with a quick nod. “That’s cutting it close. Well, I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll let you know by Wednesday night if I can make it.”

  A part of me wanted to go and experience this new adventure with Cori, but a large part also held me back because of Drew. Moving on when your heart was barely mended didn’t evoke the greatest of feelings. The question I had to ask myself was if I was willing to plunge into this head-on.

  “Fair enough.”

  “So, apart from riding and flying around on bikes, what else happens at these types of things?”

  He laughed again. “You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?”

  Cori didn’t bring up the subject of Slamfest from then on. It was as if he were giving me time to digest his invitation. It was, after all, quite a lot to consider. First off, I didn’t know him well. True, I might be hanging out with my friends, but still, I would be stuck on a six-hour plane ride with him. God knew how that would pan out.

  For the remainder of our dinner, he chatted about his life and how his passion had turned into something bigger than he had expected. It was a side of him to admire. His eyes lit up like I had never seen before, and for a moment, without his flirty persona being applied, I got glimpse of what kind of a man he was. I had to admit, I was intrigued.