Meri (The Two Moons of Rehnor)

by J. Naomi Ay

  ****

  I was lucky to walk again, they said. I was fortunate there was skin to repair my face. When at last I stood upon my feet, many months I had passed in this bed. The only visitor who had come to cheer me and ease my pain was Sister Lena.

  "You belong with us now, Meri," Lena quietly informed me. "When you recover from injuries, I shall take you home. I have informed the Father and the Sisters. We shall make a space for you amongst us for the Saint cares for unloved girls like you and me."

  "I can't," I declared although it broke my heart. I believed that the Saint had indeed made me live, and I owed him that. He saved me from the fire for what purpose I didn't know, but I still had little Reggie to care for myself.

  "Your Reggie lives in our orphan home now as your mother had no desire to raise him in your stead. He is happy and going to school, perhaps he shall be adopted out. Wouldn't that be nice if he found a new family?"

  "No," I cried and waved my hand, which was the only thing that responded without pain. "Please Lena, I beg of you. Don't take my little boy. He is all that I have left of my beloved sister." Lena left my room with only a pitying glance. She never visited after that, so I was alone. I had a choice now, I understood, to become a Sainted Lady or lose my sister's child forever more.

  Several months passed by in that room as I gazed out the window at the changing of the seasons. When I arrived it had been autumn, when I awoke the windows were lined with frost and crystal snowflakes drifted down in all directions. On the day that I finally stood again on my feet, the newly open buds of spring flowers beckoned me. When I took my first step again although my back and legs cried out their grief, the waves of summer heat billowed off the pavement.

  For the first time in nearly a year, I walked again. It was only a few steps, but it was a triumph. Though my body shuddered with every move and my eyes wept through all ache, it wasn't until I stood before the mirror that I began to cry. My beautiful hair was shorn in several places emerging in tufts where the flames had not reached. My amber eyes were nearly shut as my eyelids had been singed. My lips and cheeks were made of skin from other places. My knees gave out from under me as I collapsed upon the floor. A nurse ran to raise me to my feet.

  "You're alive, Meri," she said. "Thank the Saint for what you have been given. There are others who have suffered worse fates than you." My body recovered step by step. From the mirror, I walked out into the hall. From the hall, I crossed the floor and from there I paced the building until once again winter came and I was released. I had a cloak from the indigent women's fund and a hat and boots from somewhere else. I returned to the streets of the old city with nowhere else to go but my mother's home. As I walked along, the people shied away. The children threw stones or turned their backs. I was a freak now, and a fool for I had never bothered to learn beyond the eighth grade. I had no skills, no looks and worst of all, I was unrecognizable as me.

  At my mother's door, a strange young woman answered the knock. She looked at me and quickly covered her mouth and eyes. "Go away," she hissed. "There's no one here to help you." Then, she shut the door and locked it with the chain.

  "My mother," I begged knocking again. "Do you know where she's gone or where Anson might be?"

  "The people before us are dead," the woman called. "That's how this flat became free. Now go away before I summon the police."

  I walked again that night though my back cried out. My legs ached from the strain of moving so far. I trudged across the old city in the snow, passing beneath the gas lamps that cast yellow shadows on my path. I kept moving through the cardboard villages where my sister had lived and probably died. I stepped over frozen bodies of drunken men in the streets. I avoided those who sat on their knees, their hands outstretched for any sort of coin for I had neither food nor coin myself to share. After travelling nearly the entire night, the dawn broke in an orange glow upon the horizon. The fallen snow turned to shades of blue reflecting the sky and the rising sun as I realized where the Saint had guided me.

  Before me was a building with a sign. It read 'Old Mishnah Orphan Home, You are welcome here.' Sister Lena was on the front stoop sweeping snow away, and when she called to me, I began to cry. Lena took me inside and removed my sodden boots. She hung up my charity coat by the fire. She brought warm slippers for my feet and fresh soup and bread for me to dine and then Lena took me to a cot where I promptly fell asleep. I woke the next morning feeling rested and reassured that my life could begin again in this welcoming place.

  ****

  "In order to become a Sainted Lady," Sister Moon instructed, "one must devote themselves entirely to serving the Saint. One must relinquish all possessions including vanity and conceit. All coins that you will earn belong to the House. We shall provide you with your clothing and a cloak. You will have a wimple for your head when you become a sister. Of course becoming one of us is not easy. You shall have to work hard each and every day. Then perhaps in a few years, the Father will approve your petition."

  "Yes Ma'am," I muttered as we walked through this Orphan Home. My footsteps echoed off the walls as the Sister moved swiftly ahead of me. Children's cries sounded from every direction mingled with voices and other noise as we headed toward the chapel to begin our prayers.

  "Every morning before dawn you must kneel and pray. Every evening, you must pray again before you sleep. The hours in between you will sweep, and when you've finished, you will start again sweeping in the opposite direction. If you do well in that you may graduate to washing windows. After windows, you may advance to kitchen staff. Your future here is bright, Meri. I hope you appreciate our generosity. I shall leave you here to thank the Saint that you've been blessed."

  I knelt on the stone floor of this cold chapel and gazed at the candles lighting the altar in front of me. The cold seeped into my knees and bones. My back ached in a way that would not cease. My belly called with hunger for I had eaten only soup and bread. Sister Moon had said I must fast until the morrow as I knelt there and prayed throughout the day. It was the first of my ritual tests. I had many more that I would have to pass, so it was crucial that I managed this easy one. I prayed and prayed and prayed as much as I could although I couldn't think of very much to be thankful for. Though several years had passed and my life I had been inextricably changed, I was back to sweeping floors but without a dustpan boy. At least I was safe within these walls or, so I thought. With my hideous face and bent body, no man would want me for his nurse. I would do the job I was asked, and if I was lucky, I might care for the children. It might not be such a bad life after all. I sat higher on my knees and called out to the Saint in my mind, "Thank you dear Lord, I am truly grateful for what I've been given." Then, I fell asleep right where I sat and instead of praying, the Saint only heard my snores until Sister Lena came in that evening and woke me up.

  The next day, I began my assigned task. I swept each room in this home twice over and then again. I dined on soup and bread after serving the Father and the older Sisters, and in the morning and at bed I said my prayers. If I had a minute or two in my day to spare, I went to the baby room and cuddled all the little orphans. I searched the toddler room and the Three's for Reggie, my beloved little boy, but Lena told me later he had been adopted out.

  I learned to sing all the prayers that needed to be sung. I advanced to windows and kept them all sparkling clean. By the summer, I was in the kitchen washing dishes while memorizing the entire history of the Saint and the founding of this beloved planet Rehnor. The following year, I graduated from freshman to sophomore. My tasks now included cooking soup and baking bread.

  "You're doing well, Meri," Sister Moon complimented me. "Even the Father says you are quite the hard worker."

  "Thank you, Ma'am." I blushed and offered my best broken back curtsey whilst stirring a giant pot of vegetables that would become our dinner.

  "The Father requests you attend him in his room," Moon continued although when I looked at her she wouldn't meet my eye. "After dinner
this evening, when the Father has retired to his suite, you will bring his pudding dessert to him on a tray."

  "Yes Ma'am." I bobbed again, curious why I would need to serve him like this. After dinner, I set his dish upon the tray, and I carried it down these endless dark halls that I had previously swept. The light from the two moons reflected in from the window above the stair and lit my passage in a haunting ghostly way. I knocked upon the Father's door as I had been told, rap three times and wait before rapping again.

  "Ah Meri," the Father cried opening his door dressed in only a robe. "Come in you poor ugly creature, I've been waiting for you. Let me see what you have brought for me to eat. Ah, chocolate pudding with whipping cream on top. Please set it upon my table next to the brandy snifter there and come kneel down before me whilst I sit upon this couch." I did as the Father asked for I did not know that he would require anything of me beyond a prayer. A fire burned in the great hearth of his room casting shadows across his weathered face as he removed his robe and exposed himself to me. Now, I had seen this once before in my other job, and in the same manner I screamed and rose to flee. This time there was no Lord Chamberlain at the door. There was no one who would tell the Father to stop.

  "I have fed and clothed you," he said. "I have trained you to serve the Saint in a pious manner. I've kept you warm and given you peace. This is the price of your room and board. Get on your knees and do as I ask, you hideous fool." I had no choice for I had nowhere else to go. If I didn't, I would surely end up back out on the streets. I would die just like my sister and the truth was, I wanted to live, so I did as the Father asked although it sickened me. Many nights after that, he summoned me again. My heart burned with hatred for his evil ways. I killed him a thousand times in my dreams, but I did nothing to stop the abuse for I was ugly and weak and could not lift my hand. My spirit died although my body continued to live. For something deep within me told me that I must. A better future was destined for me. What it was and how it would begin, I had no clue until the day that I met the boy.

  ####

  A preview of The Boy who Lit up the Sky

  The Two Moons of Rehnor, Book 1

  Available for purchase at all your favorite book retailers.

  Chapter 1

  Meri

  "What have you got there?" I asked Sister Moon.

  "A pot of gold," she cackled holding up a little purse and shaking it. It jingled with heavy coins.

  "No," I said reaching for the baby in her arms. "Who is this?"

  "A Karut." She easily relinquished him to me. I peeled back the blanket and looked at the little face.

  "Aren't you pretty?" I stroked the soft cheek. "You're sure he's a Karut? He's so pale."

  "Maybe he's a half-breed," she replied, already counting the coins. "So many good Mishnese girls giving themselves to Karut men after poor Lydia was forced to do it. I suspect we'll be getting a lot more just like him."

  "Maybe," I agreed, stroking the baby's tuff of silky black hair. "He's sweet all the same. Does he have a name?"

  "Senya."

  "Senya," I repeated.

  "Now don't you go taking special heart to this little rat," Sister Moon scolded me as she tossed the coins back in the purse. "The same will happen to him as the rest of them."

  "Maybe he'll get adopted by a nice family," I said wistfully. "Look what long eyelashes he has."

  "Nobody will want a Karut," she snorted. "He'll be here with the rest of the nasties until he runs off and gets himself killed on the street. Get yourself back to work now. Put the baby in the baby room and go check the one year olds' buckets."

  "Yes Ma'am." The baby put his little fist in his mouth. "Can I give him a bottle first? He's hungry."

  Sister Moon shrugged. "Be quick about it."

  "Thank you, Ma'am." I curtseyed and hurried the baby to the baby room where I could get a bottle out of the warmer and sit for a moment before I had to dump all the potty buckets. Twice daily I had to circle through the one year olds' room here in the Old Mishnah Orphan Home where twenty babies sat naked in chairs, eating, sleeping and pooping at will. I spent about two minutes with each of them, wiping them hopefully before they broke out in rash, putting ointment on their rashes and hugging them all for just a moment before I must put them back down and move on to the next. By the time they graduated on to the two year old room, they were allowed to wear pants and shirts, sleep on cots and eat at small tables. If they messed their pants for whatever reason, they were sent back to the one year old room for a day which was such a punishment that rarely would they mess again.

  The baby room was my favorite place though. It was quiet and warm in there, and I could sit in a rocker and cuddle as many little bundles as I had time for. The older ones stood in their cribs and waved to me as I came in. Some babbled out a few nonsense sounds and some smiled showing me two or four tiny teeth.

  "Hello babies," I called to them.

  "Hello Meri," Sister Lena called back. She was in a rocker with one of the few little girls we had. Most of our children were boys. I didn't know why they were abandoned more often than girls. Girls could be put to work, I supposed. Certainly our girls unless they were rescued before age seven or eight, would be put to work earning their keep.

  "Who have you got there?" Lena asked.

  "A new one," I replied grabbing a bottle and settling down next to her. "This is Senya."

  "A Karut," she gasped with surprise. The baby she was holding stopped sucking and looked at her for a moment.

  "Yes, but he's pretty isn't he," I said offering him the bottle. He sucked it greedily and patted it with his hand.

  "I wonder why the Karuts didn’t take him." Lena peered at him through her bottle thick glasses.

  "Sister Moon thinks his mum was Mishnese. Was your mum Mishnese, Senya?" I teased. The baby smiled with the nipple still in his mouth.

  "He says yes." I laughed as he sucked fiercely once again.

  "He is beautiful," Lena agreed. "What color are his eyes?"

  'I don't know. Open your eyes, baby. Let me see your pretty eyes."

  The baby opened his eyes as if he understood me, and Blessed Saint, I nearly dropped him. His eyes were silver, like swirly specks of silver light.

  "Blessed Saint," Lena cried upsetting her baby who howled in protest.

  Senya closed his eyes again as if he knew this is what caused us fright. He finished his bottle and sucked air until I wrestled the bottle from his mouth and held him against my shoulder.

  "He is possessed." Lena calmed her baby and then quickly put her back in a crib. "Do you think this is why the Karuts didn’t want him?"

  "He's not possessed," I insisted, burping my little friend. "He's sweet." He patted my face with his hand while looking out across my back.

  Lena looked at me warily. "It is strange though."

  "It is," I agreed. "But they are kind of beautiful, too." Surely, if he was possessed, we would know that somehow. I might have to ask the Father about that, but I hated speaking with the Father. He always wanted favors, and his breath was bad, and his old skin was wrinkled and made my own skin crawl.

  I changed Senya and put him in one of our shirts. I was about to put socks on his little feet when I was stopped short.

  "Lena, can you come here?"

  She approached with narrow eyes. I held up a little foot. Senya reached for it too.

  "Look at his nails," I said. "Why are they like this?" Gingerly, Lena touched them. She visibly shivered. Senya played with his toes. He put one in his mouth and sucked on the long curled nail.

  "We should dispose of him," she said.

  "Dispose?" I cried.

  "Throw him out in the gutter before …before..."

  "Before what? You mean to kill him?"

  "No, no," she walked away. "Maybe send him to the Karuts. I have a bad feeling about him."

  "Will you tell the Father?"

  Lena turned and looked into my eyes. She nodded slowly.

  "Don't h
urt this baby," I begged. "Let me take care of him."

  "I have a very bad feeling about him," she repeated, and her wimple nearly fell off as she shook her head. "Something is wrong about him."

  "I promise, Sister. Please let me care for him. If he turns out to be bad, then I'll help you get rid of him. Don't turn him out now and don't tell the Father."

  "What will you do for me if I agree?" She asked, lifting her head haughtily.

  "What do you want?"

  "All the diapers," she said. "All the time."

  I looked down at Senya. He smiled at me, and when he opened his eyes they sparkled. "Okay," I agreed, falling in love with this strange little fellow. "I will do anything to save little Senya."

  I was strange, too. My back was crooked, and my face was scarred. I was ugly even though I wasn't always. Once I was a beautiful young girl who nice boys would ask to dance and nice girls would chat up. Once I went to school and got high marks in Mishnese and literature and fair marks in math and science. Then my step-father wanted me, and when I refused he pushed me down the stairs and broke my back. As I lay crumpled, he set my clothes on fire. The Saint saved me, and after I was healed, I came here to love other children who no one wanted anymore.

  Senya loved me, I thought. He greeted me every day with a smile. He didn’t speak. He didn’t even make noise, but he stood in his crib and waved at me and his silver eyes sparkled. Everyone else he ignored. He sat in the corner of his crib sucking his fingers or lay on his back and played with his strange toes.

  The Father came to look at him. "How much was in the purse?" he asked Sister Moon. She told him, and we all gasped as it was such a large sum. It would feed everyone in this house for a year. "Will there be more?" the Father wondered aloud.