by Cat Johnson
“No. Now.”
“Logan, I’ve got two days’ worth of campsite dirt and stink—”
“Tucker. Now.” When Logan used that tone of voice, he meant business.
“All right. I’ll be right there.” But he’d be there in a dirty uniform. That’s what Logan got for not giving him time to shower, forget about do laundry.
Annoyed, Tuck walked into the military studies office with an attitude, but one look at Logan’s face dispelled it. “What happened?”
“Shut the door.”
Shit. This couldn’t be good. Tuck did as asked, then moved to sit in the chair on his side of Logan’s big head-of-the-department desk. Then he waited.
Logan hit a few keys on his laptop, then spun it to face Tuck. The video was a grainy, black-and-white image typical of surveillance tapes. It took him a second to place where it had been taken, but once his brain registered that those dark, close-set walls were shelves of books, his heart rate doubled. Tuck swallowed hard and watched the two forms on the video. Watched the larger of the two back the smaller one up against the shelves and start kissing her.
He finally wrestled his focus away from the screen to look at Logan. His mouth open even though he was speechless, Tuck shook his head, not knowing what to ask first.
Logan’s brows rose. “This is what you call being discreet?”
“How did you get this?” That question seemed as good as any to begin with.
“I’m the one who got the guy who watches the security cameras all night his job.”
Tuck glanced back at the images on screen. He and Becca were really getting into it, but still, it was nearly impossible to tell who the people in the video were. If he hadn’t been the one with his hands and mouth all over Becca, he probably wouldn’t have been able to identify them. “How did he know it was me? Or know to bring this to you?”
“There’s a nice clear shot of your face when you finally stop mauling her and turn to leave. He recognized you as one of mine.”
“Oh.” Not much more Tuck could say to that, except to ask, “What now? What does this mean?”
Logan’s answer would determine not only his future, but also Becca’s. He was more worried about her than himself. He might lose this billet and get shipped back overseas, but they wouldn’t kick him out of the army for something like this. Could they? He wasn’t so sure.
Either way, Becca shouldn’t be punished and lose her job because of his inability to control himself. He’d do whatever was necessary to ensure that.
The delay in Logan’s answer only served to ramp up Tuck’s anxiety. Of course, that was probably the intent. Finally, Logan said, “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Tuck repeated him, afraid to believe it was true.
“My friend in security broke the rules, put his own job in jeopardy, and gave me the only copy of the tape.”
“Why would he do that for me?” He didn’t even know this guy.
“He didn’t do it for you. He did it for me. You see, when he retired from the military with such severe PTSD he was afraid to even drive a car because the street noise could send him mentally back to the war zone, I got him a good job where he could sit in a nice, quiet room and watch monitors.”
Tuck dropped his chin and closed his eyes, trying to fully absorb exactly how lucky he and Becca both were, thanks to Logan. He finally looked up. “Thank you. I owe you.” More than he could ever repay.
“You sure as hell do owe me, and starting right now things are going to change.”
His attention snapped to Logan’s words. Tuck’s fear of what he was implying made his mouth go dry. “What do you want me to do?”
Logan shook his head and let out a curse. “Dammit, Tuck. Couldn’t you have found a girl who wasn’t a professor here?”
“I didn’t know when I met her in July—”
“I know.” Logan cut him off. “And that’s one reason I’m not telling you never to see her again.”
“You’re not?”
“But I swear to God, if you don’t start being more discreet. . . What the hell were you thinking? Taking her out to eat at a restaurant you recommend to the cadets? Practically having sex in the library?”
“I know. I was stupid. It was risky. None of that will happen again.”
“Make sure it doesn’t.”
He nodded and sat, waiting, not sure if this well-deserved reprimand was over or not.
Logan glared at him for a long, uncomfortable moment. In his decade in the military, Tuck had been glared at by the best of them. This was different, though, because Logan was a friend. More, he was like a big brother, and Tuck had disappointed him. There was nothing Logan could say or do to him that would outweigh the feeling of disappointment he had in himself.
“Get out of here.”
“Yes, sir.” He rose, his head spinning so he didn’t even remember opening the door and leaving the office. The next thing he knew he was outside the building, staring at his cell phone in his hand. He didn’t know what to do, to tell Becca or not, but he needed to hear her voice.
She picked up on the second ring. “Hey, are you back home now?”
“Yup. Well, I’m still on campus actually, but I’m on my way home.”
“That’s good. So what did you do on your camping trip? Or is it top secret, military-type stuff?” She sounded so cheerful and upbeat, how could he possibly lay the weight of what he’d found out from Logan on her?
He decided to make small talk and stall while he considered the situation. “No. Not top secret at all. We had a paintball game. Did some climbing. Land nav. You know, basic survival stuff.”
“Ah, of course.” Her tone told him she had no idea what land nav or basic survival training was, but she was pretending she did anyway.
Even as ill as he felt over the situation, he couldn’t help smiling at how damn cute she could be. “What did you do while I was gone?”
“Oh, I did exciting stuff. I finished unpacking the last of the boxes. I jostled some money between the new zero percent interest credit card I just opened and the outstanding balance on my old card. I can use the interest I’m going to save each month to help pay the rent here.”
He frowned. “I didn’t know money was that tight for you.”
“Being out of work for a few months ate up my savings. Then the cost of flying out here for the interview went on my credit card. And to move I had to rent a trailer. Pay for gas for the drive from New York to Oklahoma, which with today’s prices is a small fortune. Then I had to lay out a security deposit and a month’s rent for the apartment. It all adds up.” She paused. “There’s nothing to be worried about. I’ll be fine once I start getting my paychecks from OSU. Now, if I hadn’t gotten this job, then that would have been something to worry about.”
Her laugh was light and casual, but he felt anything but. Becca needed this job. Badly. If she lost it because of him, he’d never forgive himself. He wasn’t going to let that happen.
“So, what are your plans for tonight?” There was a suggestive lilt to her voice. Before his visit with Logan, that would have sent Tuck running to her apartment. Now, not so much.
Thoughts of her apartment had him facing a harsh reality. She lived just off campus. Her neighbors were mostly students. It was amazing he hadn’t already been spotted sneaking out of her place in the middle of the night. Hell, maybe he had and that other shoe was about to drop.
And his truck . . . it stood out like a sore thumb. Not just because it was big, which was true of most trucks in this area, but the ARMY STRONG bumper sticker and the ARMY emblem on the back window screamed it was his.
He couldn’t go to her place. It was a risk they couldn’t take. “Actually, I’m kind of beat. All I want to do is shower and fall into bed.”
“Okay.” That one word conveyed how disappointed she was.
“It’s just that after two days of hiking and a night of sleeping on the ground . . .”
“I understand.”
&n
bsp; He steeled his resolve. He couldn’t give in and go there. Not when he had so many things to figure out. Knowing her relationship with him could cost her a job she desperately needed put a whole new perspective on whatever this thing was between them. Still, he had to give her something to dispel that insecurity he heard creeping into her voice. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“All right.”
“Night, Becca.”
“Good night, Tucker.”
He hung up the phone feeling like absolute crap and wanting nothing more than to drive directly to her place.
Shit. What the hell was he going to do?
Chapter Twenty-one
“What’s going on with tall, dark, and handsome?”
Emma’s daily phone interrogation shouldn’t have surprised Becca, but today she really wasn’t in the mood for it.
Becca let out a short, humorless laugh. “I wish I knew.”
“What’s wrong?”
Since her sister’s question had actually sounded sincere, she answered. “I don’t know. It feels like something’s up. He calls me. He’s sweet on the phone. He asks me about my day and tells me about his. On the surface it seems like everything is fine . . .”
“Except?”
Except before this weirdness started she wouldn’t have been talking to Tucker on the phone. She would have been under him in her bed. “We make polite small talk but that’s it. And it feels like he’s avoiding seeing me. He hasn’t come over in a week.”
“Why would he be avoiding you?”
She let out a huff. “I have no idea.”
“Here’s my opinion. If he wasn’t calling you at all, I would think he was maybe seeing someone else . . .”
“Thanks for putting that image in my head.” She scowled.
“Oh, please. As if you haven’t thought that yourself. What I’m saying is, he doesn’t sound as if he’s dumping you. It has to be something else.”
“Something else, like his secret wife and baby are back in town and he can’t get away?”
“You’ve been watching too many of those cheesy made-for-television movies.”
“Have not.” Becca reached quietly for the remote control and muted the current movie on screen.
“Classes just started this week, right? Maybe there’s something going on at work, and he’s busy or having a tough time.”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, let me ask you this, have you asked him what’s going on?”
“No.”
“Becca, you need to. Jeez, just ask him. For a woman who makes a living out of words, you really are a horrible communicator.”
Only her sister would say something like that to her. “I communicate just fine, thank you.”
“Then call him right now and ask him what’s wrong.”
“But—”
“But what?”
She couldn’t voice aloud what she was thinking. What if he wasn’t alone? What if he wanted to dump her and was trying to be nice about it?
“Becca, if you don’t call him, I will.”
“You don’t have his number.” She sneered at Emma’s threat.
“I can get it.”
She couldn’t deny that. Her sister, Internet guru, definitely could. “Fine. I’ll call.”
“Good. Then call me right back.”
“All right.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, I promise. Now let me go so I can call him.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.” Nothing worse than a nosy, computer-savvy sister with no life of her own. Becca steeled her nerves and hit Tucker’s number.
“Hey, there.” There was no darlin’ in his greeting, but at least he had answered.
That she’d half expected him not to and let her call go to voice mail proved exactly how insecure she was about their relationship right now. Which was kind of funny, because to both herself and her sister, she kept denying there was any kind of relationship.
He wasn’t her boyfriend. They were just friends. Friends who used to have sex until he’d started to avoid her.
“Hi.” Her heart pounded so hard it vibrated her body. “Can we talk?”
He hesitated. “Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.”
The tone of his voice was more serious, sounded more ominous, than she’d ever imagined it could. A sick feeling settled in her stomach. This was a clear case of be careful what you wished for, and it was all Emma’s fault. If she hadn’t asked him to talk, things could have kept going just as they were and she wouldn’t be facing him dumping her now.
“Um, okay. Do you want to come over here?” Just what she needed, bad memories in her new apartment, but what choice did she have? She wasn’t going to let him get away with ending their friendship, and whatever else they were to each other, on the phone. He’d just have to do it face to face.
Again there was that pause. At least this seemed to be hard on him. It would really suck if it were easy.
“Do you think you could come to my place? Is that all right?” he asked.
“Sure.” Why not? Maybe then she could look for clues. Some sign of why he was ending things. Evidence of another woman, such as tampons under the bathroom sink or diet soda in the fridge.
“Let me give you directions.”
“No need. I have GPS.” And the online faculty directory bookmarked to the page with Tucker’s information. “I’ll be right over.”
“I’m on campus still. I had a meeting with Logan. Can you give me an hour? Then I’ll meet you at my place.”
“That’s fine. See you then.” An hour. She pressed a hand to her roiling stomach. Plenty of time for her to be sick, fix herself up, and get to Tucker’s.
Tuck disconnected the call with Becca and opened the door to Logan’s office. He went back to the chair he’d been occupying before Becca’s call had vibrated the cell phone in his pocket and he’d excused himself to take it outside.
He dared to glance at Logan, seated across the desk from him. “Sorry.”
Logan drew in a deep breath. “Tuck, are you sure about this?”
“Yup. The wheels are already in motion.” He really didn’t need anyone putting doubts in his mind at this point. The decision had been made.
“Those wheels can be stopped. Things can change hourly in the military. You know that.”
“I don’t want to change the plan. It’s best if I go. Besides, I’ll be back before you know it. Six months is nothing. It’s just one semester.”
“The rest of this semester and the first two months of next, during which I’ll have to get a replacement for all your classes.”
“Is that what’s really bothering you? Getting a replacement for the program?”
“Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?”
He took that as a no and that Logan had more of an issue with where he was going than his leaving. “Sure. I’ve been to Afghanistan before.”
Logan let out a humorless laugh. “You were at a forward operating base. FOBs are nothing like the outposts or the firebases you’ll be going to. The border regions are an entirely different place.”
“I can handle it.” Tuck was many things, some good, some bad, but he wasn’t a pansy or a coward. Whatever was thrown at him where he was going, he’d deal with.
“You being tough enough to handle it is not the point.”
“Then what is the point?” Of all people, he had expected Logan to support this decision. It would give him the space and perspective he needed right now when things with Becca were moving too fast and getting far too complicated.
“Hell, I don’t know. All I do know is this woman shows up here and you haven’t been the same since. Maybe that right there is my point.”
That was funny coming from Logan, the guy who’d said Tuck should get back on the horse. “You’re the one who forced me to go to that damn wine mixer for her to begin with.”
Of course, Logan hadn’t known at the time he and Becca
already had a past—however brief. Or that Tuck would be incapable of keeping his hands off her once they were reunited.
“I didn’t think you’d blatantly flout the damn rules. Taking her out in public. Smooching against the Shakespeare section in the campus library. Are you insane?”
Actually, if they were going for alliteration, it would be more accurate to say there’d nearly been coitus in front of the Chaucer collection since Tuck hadn’t noticed any Shakespeare behind Becca when he’d been grinding against her, but he didn’t dare correct Logan. “I know, Logan. It was crazy, which is why I’m leaving.”
“My point exactly.” Logan spread his hands wide while shaking his head. “Giving up the ROTC billet and volunteering to go to a battalion in Afghanistan is not a normal reaction to the situation. Couldn’t you just be more careful from now on?”
“You’re not making a whole lot of sense.” This conversation was starting to make Tuck’s head hurt. In one breath Logan was yelling at him for being with Becca, and in the next he was encouraging him to be with her.
“Neither does your decision to volunteer to go to Kunar for six months. I talked to a guy who’s been where you’re going. Men come out of there changed. He said if the hundred-and-thirty-degree heat and tarantulas didn’t get to you in the summer, the sheer boredom in the winter would. Then there are the IEDs . . .” He let the sentence trail off, obviously aware Tuck knew exactly what happened when soldiers got hit with one of the insurgents’ improvised explosive devices.
“The platoon currently there is nine months into a fifteen-month tour. They needed some new blood to rotate in for the last leg of it. I’ve got combat experience and I needed a change. It’s a perfect match.” Tuck shrugged.
Yes, the IEDs were a real danger, but heat and spiders? Seriously? That’s what Logan was using to try to dissuade Tuck from going? Hell, Logan should try sleeping in a horse trailer after it had been sitting in the sun all day the way Tuck had on a few occasions while rodeoing with Jace full-time.
“I don’t know what to say to you to change your mind.” Logan shook his head and let out a breath that sounded filled with frustration.