Onwaachige the Dreamer

by Jay Jordan Hawke

  “Okay, so let’s think about this,” Jenny said calmly. “Sometime late last night the cops were probably told that you never came home.”

  “And you know full well this is the first place your mother would suspect to look for you,” Mokwa said.

  Joshua was horrified. Prior to this reality check, in his mind, his mother was still waiting for him to come home from camp. But his mother would have already talked with Pastor Bob to find out why he hadn’t come home. And Pastor Bob would have told her everything that had taken place. Maybe she even knew by now that he was gay. Oh God! This can’t be happening! Joshua’s heart beat rapidly as panic set in. Pywacky jumped into his lap, as though he could sense Joshua’s stress. He eyed the others cautiously.

  Joshua embraced Pywacky. “It’s okay, little guy. I’m going to be okay.” Pywacky had a calming influence on him, reminding Joshua that he was with his friends now. He was home. And no matter what problems he had, nothing could be worse than what he had just gone through.

  “So, what do we say when the cops show up?” Jenny asked.

  “That we haven’t seen him,” Little Deer said.

  Joshua saw that Little Deer had meant it when he said he could trust him.

  “Dude, what if they don’t believe us?” Mokwa said. Joshua’s panic had clearly spread.

  “They won’t know,” Little Deer said. His confident and stoic tone displaced Mokwa’s panic.

  Joshua considered their words as his friends discussed likely scenarios. But they were all wrong. He knew his mother well. Preserving her own dignity would override any instinct to call the cops—as long as she believed she knew where Joshua had gone, at least. She’d want to handle this herself. She’d just come up to the reservation alone and grab him. “God, I’m so stupid. She’ll probably be here any moment now!”

  “Hold on a second,” Jenny said, trying to calm Joshua down.

  “I got to get out of here!”

  “What about Pastor Martin?” Little Deer proposed.

  “Pastor Martin?” Joshua was confused by the suggestion. What did Pastor Martin have to do with any of this? He hadn’t thought of that creepy man in weeks. His old nemesis from the reservation had retreated from his mind, leaving behind only pleasant thoughts of his time on the Rez. But once he heard the name, his mind connected Pastor Martin to his mother. They were friends, after all. In fact, as Joshua had learned from his dreams, they were much more than friends. Of course she would look to him for help, just like she had dragged him into helping her destroy Joshua’s naming ceremony.

  “She probably sent him to get me!” Joshua said, realizing he was now thinking out loud. “Little Deer is right. She probably already contacted him to find out if I’m here. He’ll be coming!”

  Once again, as if on cue, Joshua heard a voice from the trail. “Hello? Anyone back there?” It was Pastor Martin, just as Joshua had deduced. Joshua really had to reconsider the safety of his hideout, as it was increasingly becoming the most populated area at the village.

  “Pukawiss, hide!” Mokwa yelled. Pywacky leapt from Joshua’s lap and darted for the safety of the dense forest cover surrounding the lakefront. Joshua dived to the ground close behind him, likewise fleeing on all fours.

  “Was that Pywacky?” Gentle Eagle said as he walked over to the boys with Pastor Martin from the lakefront trail. “He seems bigger than when I last saw him.”

  “Um, yeah,” Mokwa said. “He’s gotten really big.”

  “Too much fry bread,” Little Deer clarified.

  The three kids snickered as Pastor Martin stood there with a rather puzzled expression on his face.

  THE KIDS looked at each other with visible revulsion as Pastor Martin stood at the lakefront alongside Gentle Eagle. It was as though the devil himself had been invited into their most sacred sanctuary.

  “What’s he doing here?” Little Deer said, visibly unable to contain his pure contempt for Pastor Martin. Little Deer had his own history with him, but that was inconsequential compared to what Pastor Martin had done to Joshua.

  Joshua watched them from behind Pywacky’s favorite tree. He could never forgive Pastor Martin for interfering with his naming ceremony or for helping his mother drag him away from all his friends. He despised the man and was glad to see Little Deer giving him the cold shoulder. And as far as Joshua was concerned, he had no place on the reservation, let alone at Wiigwaas Village. Joshua’s attitude was magnified by his recent experiences at camp with Pastor Bob. The two were related to each other, and in Joshua’s mind, they were cut from the same cloth. So when Joshua looked at Pastor Martin, all he saw was Pastor Bob.

  “I’m afraid there is a problem with Pukawiss,” Gentle Eagle announced, looking concerned. He stared at the boys as if expecting a confession. When it was clear they were going to remain silent, he continued with his announcement. “It seems he has gone missing—”

  “He ran away from home,” Pastor Martin said impatiently, interrupting Gentle Eagle. “And his mother is certain he’s hiding out here somewhere.”

  Gentle Eagle gave Pastor Martin a disapproving glance before continuing with his point. “I’m very concerned for him. I just want to know that he is safe.” He once again stared at the boys in anticipation of a response.

  “Yes, of course,” Pastor Martin agreed. “Safe.” He bore an embarrassed expression.

  “He’s not here,” Little Deer announced, as he gazed directly at Pastor Martin. “And you shouldn’t be either.”

  You tell him! Joshua thought from behind his tree.

  “You still have all that hostility toward me?” Pastor Martin said, as though trying to shame Little Deer.

  Little Deer scowled in response.

  Seeing the hostility, Jenny jumped in. “I hope Joshua is okay. If we can be of any help, just let us know.” Her concern sounded legitimate but seemed awkward alongside the dismissive attitudes of her peers.

  Mokwa listened anxiously as sweat accumulated on his forehead. He looked uneasy, as if the truth were about to explode from him in a revelatory admission of guilt.

  Little Deer and Jenny both kicked him forcefully underneath the table, nudging him back to his senses.

  “Um, yeah, I mean, if he were hiding out here, we would totally tell you. I mean… if he were, which he clearly isn’t.” His forehead turned bright red, matching his freshly dyed Mohawk. He looked back down at his food in apparent shame. Little Deer and Jenny kicked him again underneath the table, this time expressing their disapproval at his poor acting skills.

  He so can’t lie, Joshua thought, covering his face with his hands in frustration.

  “I see,” said Gentle Eagle.

  Joshua knew those words well. When Gentle Eagle said them, he wasn’t acknowledging a lie, he was seeing right through it. It was his power.

  “Well, I guess we’ll have to ask around the Rez then and see if anyone has heard from him.”

  “Wait, you don’t actually believe them, do you?” Pastor Martin asked incredulously.

  “We are wasting time here, good pastor. If Joshua is in trouble, we need to find him.” Gentle Eagle remained calm. And despite Pastor Martin’s obvious disagreement with the suggestion, he gave way to Gentle Eagle’s advice, succumbing to his influence. He followed Gentle Eagle as he got back on the trail to head for the Trading Post. Before walking too far, Gentle Eagle looked back and shot Mokwa a knowing glance. “You’re in charge while I’m gone,” he said.

  Mokwa sat in embarrassed silence before issuing an apologetic reply. “Um, in charge. Right, Old Man,” he said meekly.

  MOKWA LOOKED terrible as the three sat at the table contemplating their next move.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Little Deer said to Mokwa.

  “Dude, I just lied to Gentle Eagle.” He was visibly upset with himself, looking as though he had just kicked his own grandmother.

  “We all lied,” Jenny said.

  “We had to,” Little Deer said.

  “Did we?” Mok
wa replied.

  “Gentle Eagle can’t know,” Little Deer reminded him. “Joshua would be hauled away again.”

  Mokwa knew it was true. But he didn’t like having to lie to anyone, let alone to Gentle Eagle. “I just don’t understand why his mother hates us so much,” he said, changing the subject.

  “She thinks we worship the Devil,” Little Deer said with visible contempt.

  “And that we are thus a bad influence on Joshua,” Jenny said. She rolled her eyes as she said it.

  “And that he’s a two-spirit,” Mokwa added, helping to answer his own question.

  “What?” Little Deer asked.

  Little Deer’s confusion caught Mokwa off guard. “What do you mean what? You know. We all know,” Mokwa said.

  “I didn’t know we were allowed to talk about it, though,” Little Deer said.

  “Um, right here guys,” Joshua said as he sat down next to them at the picnic table. It was finally safe to come out from behind his tree.

  “Sorry, Pukawiss. We’re here for you. It’s just hard to know what to do,” Mokwa said.

  Mokwa’s concern dispelled Joshua’s anxiety. “It’s okay,” Joshua said. “I don’t know what to do either.”

  “It would be so much easier if we really did live here back in the 16th century,” Mokwa said as he contemplated the recreated village.

  “What would have been different?” Joshua asked.

  “We’d all be looking to you for the answers,” Mokwa said.

  Joshua was perplexed by the odd response. “What do you mean?”

  “Bro, you’re a dreamer. You have great power. You can solve everything in your dreams. The manitous will always show you what to do.”

  Joshua hadn’t considered that. His dreams could be useful. They had warned him about Cody, after all. At summer camp, he’d thought of them as a curse. They were confusing and often terrifying. He had never considered trying to use them to solve his problems. They were too random for that. Whatever they were trying to reveal to him, it was always on their own terms, not his. But maybe he could somehow take charge of them. The possibility was enticing, and for a brief moment, Joshua felt empowered. “But I don’t know how to control my dreams,” he insisted, even as he considered the suggestion.

  “Well, I’m sure Gentle Eagle can tell you,” Mokwa said.

  “Mokwa!” Jenny said, kicking him once again.

  This time it was Mokwa’s turn to roll his eyes. “I know, I know, we can’t tell him anything.”

  “Wait,” Little Deer said. “We can ask Black Crow.”

  The suggestion puzzled Joshua. “You can’t be serious,” he said.

  Mokwa nodded in agreement as he considered Little Deer’s suggestion. “He knows our traditions as well as anyone. He probably could tell us something.”

  Joshua couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But he hates me. He spent all summer mocking me.” He couldn’t forget the boy who had made him feel like such an outsider throughout the summer, the boy who called him an apple for trying to learn more about his culture. Joshua cringed as he recalled the insulting explanation for the derisive term: he was red on the outside, but white on the inside.

  “Don’t forget, he’s also your we-eh,” Mokwa reminded him. “It’s his job to look after you now. Just like us.”

  Joshua had almost forgotten about Black Crow’s participation in his naming ceremony. Black Crow had agreed to take on the position of we-eh, making him one of the four special people to oversee his ceremony. And the we-eh’s function did not end with the naming ceremony. They were obligated to watch out for him, ensuring that he lived up to his name. In short, they had his back. He had been astonished when he saw Black Crow at his ceremony, ready to help announce his name to the manitous. It made no sense to Joshua that he had changed so quickly. “I know, but I don’t get it. He was so mean to me, and then suddenly he was so nice.”

  “Hey, cool bird,” Mokwa said, looking at a loon as it sailed across the lake. The episode was mundane, but Mokwa’s excited response to it was not.

  “Mokwa?” Joshua asked, though it sounded more like an accusation.

  “Okay, so I may have told him you were a two-spirit.”

  “You told him I was gay!”

  Mokwa looked down. “Relax, I thought it would scare him.”

  “What?”

  “Look,” Mokwa said, facing Joshua as he tried to explain. “Black Crow respects Ojibwe traditions. And two-spirits were traditionally believed to have great power. You just don’t mess with a two-spirit. Everyone knows that. The manitous protect them. So I thought it would get him to back off. I told him right before you went up against him in the final round at the powwow competition this summer.”

  “So he was nice to me after that because he was afraid of me?”

  “Um, well,” Mokwa said, evidently rethinking his idea.

  “Awesome!” Joshua said. He liked the idea that being gay had actually worked in his favor for a change. It wasn’t something he was used to. “But still, why would he know anything about dreams?”

  “Okay, he probably doesn’t know anything about dreams. I just said that so you’d understand why I told him you were here.” Mokwa looked down in obvious anticipation of Joshua’s reaction.

  “Mokwa, you didn’t!”

  “Sorry,” Mokwa said. “I just panicked and had to tell someone. I mean, someone other than Little Deer. Oh, and Jenny.” He continued to stare at the ground as though it were the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen. Just then the loud sound of a car screeching to a complete halt could be heard all the way from the village parking lot. Those bad brakes could only mean one thing.

  “Tell me you didn’t!” Joshua said in disbelief, realizing that Mokwa had invited Black Crow to the village. He knew that loud and obnoxious sound anywhere. He then heard a door slam shut. Black Crow always had an aggressive manner, even when he was in a good mood. “Oh my God! Now what?” Joshua asked in a near panic.

  “Relax, you can trust him. I promise.”

  “Yeah, don’t worry, we all got your back, Pukawiss,” Jenny said.

  Pywacky startled Joshua as he jumped back into his lap. Joshua had almost forgotten he was there. “Did Pastor Martin frighten you, little guy?” Joshua said trying to reassure his friend. Pywacky plopped down in his lap and started to purr. Joshua pressed his nose to Pywacky’s face. “He’s such a scary man. Yes he is. Yes he is.”

  “Good kitty,” Little Deer said, evidently deciding anyone who hated Pastor Martin was a friend of his.

  “So where is Apple?” Black Crow asked as he entered the lakefront, a bit out of breath from having run from the parking lot.

  Pywacky jumped to the ground and fled once again.

  “Sheesh, that poor cat is getting a workout today,” Mokwa said.

  Pywacky stopped just short of hiding behind his favorite tree before turning around and shooting a knowing glance at Black Crow. He eyed him cautiously for a second, and then ran back to Joshua, as though he could tolerate one more person.

  “There you are, Precious,” Black Crow said to Pywacky, sounding like he was talking to a little baby.

  Joshua snickered at the unexpected reaction. Black Crow was one of the most intimidating and aggressive people on the reservation, but he melted before the gentle fluffy cuteness of his nonhuman companion.

  “Wait, you know that cat?” Jenny asked.

  “Yeah, we’re best buds. Met him when I was helping out Gentle Eagle with the sweat lodge ceremony for the interns last week. I gave him some fry bread. Did you know he likes fry bread?” He didn’t wait for a response before turning his attention to Joshua. “So, Apple, I heard you were in trouble.” He approached Joshua and sat down next to him. “Just tell me what to do. I’m here for you, man.”

  Joshua hated being called Apple. It was a term of derision. But something was very different about Black Crow’s tone. He obviously didn’t mean anything by it this time. In fact, it sounded like he sincer
ely wanted to help. Mokwa must have really scared him when he told him Joshua was a two-spirit and thus had special power.

  “We need to figure out how to get him out of this mess. Pastor Martin is running around town with Gentle Eagle looking for Joshua. We can’t let them find him,” Jenny said.

  “Yeah, Mokwa filled me in on you running away from home. Pretty hardcore,” Black Crow said in apparent admiration while giving Joshua an encouraging pat on the back. “I didn’t realize you were so tough when I first met you. But then again, Kiwi says I suck at first impressions.” Black Crow got up and looked down at Joshua. “No worries. I’m your we-eh. I’ll always have your back.”

  “We’re thinking he should use his dreams,” Mokwa said, fishing for advice.

  “What?” Black Crow asked, sounding baffled.

  “Yeah, you know, use his two-spirit powers and contact the manitous for a vision. Something to guide him out of this whole mess,” Mokwa said.

  Mokwa talked about Joshua’s dream power so matter-of-factly, as though it all made perfect sense to him. But Joshua felt less confident. Despite the intensity of his dreams, he couldn’t quite embrace them. Doing so meant there was something extra special about him, and right now he didn’t feel all that special. He was just some helpless kid in a really bad situation. Still, hearing Mokwa talk about his powers so openly encouraged him to at least consider, if not entirely embrace, their reality.

  “That’s ridiculous,” Black Crow said as he placed his hand on Joshua’s shoulder. “Dude, with friends like these, no wonder you’re so lost.”

  “You got a better idea?” Little Deer chimed in, sounding a bit peeved.

  Black Crow looked angry at the apparent challenge, but at the same time he didn’t seem to have any other suggestions.