After a few rings, an anxious and angry voice picked up on the other end. “Joshua!”
“No, Catherine, it’s me, Pastor Martin,” he said. “I mean, Jonathan.” He wasn’t used to using his real name. He rarely heard it. Everyone called him by his title. But he had been on more intimate terms with Catherine for quite some time, though she still called him pastor whenever they were around others.
“Did you find him?” she replied. “Is he there?”
“Of course he is,” Pastor Martin said. “I mean, I didn’t actually see him, but—”
“I just knew Gentle Eagle would pull something like this! There are no limits to what that man is capable of.”
“Well, Catherine, I don’t think it’s like that exact—”
“I mean, just imagine, convincing my son to run away from home and return to the reservation. Who does that?”
Pastor Martin didn’t want her to think ill of Gentle Eagle. After all, he had nothing to do with any of this. “Well, you see, I talked with Gentle Eagle, and I don’t think—”
“He totally turned Joshua against me! He’s just like Joshua’s father.”
Pastor Martin realized she must be hysterical with concern. If he could just calm her down a bit…. “Again, I think you’re not really being fair to—”
“If I leave now, I could be there first thing in the morning. Of course, I need to find someone to cover me at work first.”
“Now, you don’t need to rush down here. I can—”
“And I’ll have to pack some food. I mean, it’s a six-hour drive.”
“Really, this isn’t necessary. Let Joshua take some time to calm down and I’ll—”
“God, I can’t believe I have to drive up there again! I just did this a few weeks ago. Joshua is so going to get it.”
“Catherine, please, listen to me!”
“Oh Jonathan, thanks so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Well, um, thanks, I guess. But I just want to—”
Click, rrrrrrrrrr.
“Catherine? Hello? Hello! Oh, goddamn it!”
JOSHUA ENJOYED being out in the open with the company of his friends for the first time since he had left the reservation. So much weight had been lifted from his shoulders. There were no secrets keeping him down any longer, and he finally believed that everything was going to be okay. While the group continued to talk and catch up, Jenny ran into town to scrounge up some food so they could all have dinner together at the village. Even Gentle Eagle stayed and ate with them, which was a treat in and of itself. But as the night sky grew darker, Joshua got increasingly anxious. It would soon be time for him to perform, to dream a way out of his dilemma. At some point, he stopped caring about doing this for himself. He had to do this for his friends now. They were all counting on him, on his strange power, to guide him to safety. Somehow he was supposed to go to bed and wake up with some mysterious plan that would get him out of all of this. But what if it didn’t work? What if he disappointed his friends? He had a powerful name to live up to and being put on such a pedestal was a lot of pressure. Joshua didn’t like the thought of falling off of it.
“I think it’s time for me to go home,” Gentle Eagle said. He looked tired from his exhausting day.
Only then did it occur to Joshua how unfair he had been to Gentle Eagle. The man spent most of the day looking for him on the reservation, while Joshua took naps at the village lakefront. He had been very selfish to put his grandfather through that. Gentle Eagle was physically and emotionally exhausted, and now Joshua wished he had just been upfront with him from the very beginning.
“I’m sorry,” Joshua said.
“Ha, what for?” Gentle Eagle asked, looking confused.
“I failed you. I didn’t mean to drag you into this,” Joshua said.
“You didn’t fail anyone. Who else could have handled the trials you’ve been through? If I am to be your judge, I say you passed with flying colors.” Joshua smiled as his grandfather got up to go home. “I will be back early in the morning to see what the manitous have revealed to you.”
Again with the pressure. Forget letting down his friends. He didn’t want to let down Gentle Eagle.
As Gentle Eagle headed off to the parking lot, another car screeched in, coming to a sudden halt. The kids rolled their eyes as they heard Black Crow exit the car and slam the door shut.
“Ha, Gentle Eagle! Nice performance today with Pastor Martin,” Black Crow said as he passed Gentle Eagle.
“Not so bad yourself,” Gentle Eagle responded.
Black Crow walked toward the Trading Post picnic tables, hauling a backpack filled with supplies. “Okay, let’s get this party started,” he shouted to everyone at the table.
Kiwi followed close behind, carrying nothing. “Hi Joshua,” she greeted seductively as she approached the picnic table.
“You know you don’t have a shot with him,” Black Crow grumbled. “He’s a two-spirit.”
“Wanna bet?” Kiwi said, visibly enlivened by the challenge.
“Fine, if anyone could make it happen, I’m sure you could.”
“That’s better,” she said, noticeably satisfied.
“What is all this crap?” Mokwa said as Black Crow dumped his backpack onto the picnic table and hastily unpacked. He looked like he was going to drop something as he fumbled the items that would be needed for their special ceremony.
“Dude, it’s everything we need to incubate a dream.” Black Crow said it as though it were obvious. “I got smudge sticks, and rattles, and….” He dug around in his backpack as though looking for something in particular. “And a small drum,” he said, holding it up.
Mokwa looked aggravated. “Dude, you do realize that we have all of that stuff here at the village?”
“I’m just trying to help,” Black Crow griped.
“We should have asked Gentle Eagle how to do this,” Little Deer said.
“Sheesh, give me a chance,” Black Crow said.
“All right,” Mokwa replied, still looking a bit annoyed. “Let’s just do this.” He looked at the mess on the table, indicating that someone should clean it up.
Black Crow could see that he was making Mokwa anxious, so he put everything back in his backpack. “Dude, relax, I got this. Follow me,” he said, as he started for the lakefront trail.
The group followed close behind, excited to begin.
They arrived at the lakefront a few minutes later, with the sun farther down below the lake horizon. It was getting hard to see. Black Crow immediately began setting down wood to create a campfire. He acted like he was in charge of everything.
“Hey, here’s the party,” Caleb said as he entered the lakeshore with his fellow interns.
“Yeah, we heard some serious dreaming is going down tonight,” Oli said right behind Caleb.
“Mokwa!” Joshua accused, as he realized that he had told the interns about his dreaming ceremony.
Mokwa faced down, looking guilty.
Joshua sighed as he glanced at Caleb. “I guess it’s okay,” he conceded. After all, the interns had been good to him earlier in the day. And they held a deep reverence for him. It was Kiwi, actually, that Joshua really didn’t want here.
Caleb sat next to Joshua on some tree stumps surrounding the campfire Black Crow was lighting. Pywacky eyed the wood suspiciously as flames awakened from within, shooting upward, forming a raging blaze. Black Crow obviously knew what he was doing.
“We’re just here to support you,” Caleb said. “And besides, this is pretty fascinating stuff.”
“Yeah, like when we did the Ouija board thing the other night,” Christie said, sitting next to Caleb on his other side.
“Yeah, totally freaked us out, man,” Oli said. “That thing was totally moving on its own.”
“Really? What did it say?” Mokwa asked.
“Oh, man, it said I was like this cowboy in a previous life, and that I—”
“Dude, no cowboy stories
here,” Mokwa interrupted, as though it were a sensitive topic.
“Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry.” Oli looked embarrassed, apparently feeling stupid that he had brought up cowboys while on the reservation. But Mokwa had just been teasing.
“So, Pukawiss, are you excited about incubating a dream?” Caleb asked.
“I guess so. I’ve never really done this before. I mean, actually try to dream about something in particular. I guess I’m a bit—”
“Nervous,” Caleb said, finishing his sentence. “Yeah, I get it. Like what if you fail, eh?”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“You got a pretty powerful name to live up too. Onwaachige, or something, right?” He paused as if considering the difficult word. “So, how do you pronounce it again exactly?”
“Actually, you got it right,” Joshua said, obviously impressed.
“Beginner’s luck,” Little Deer added.
“Enough fooling around. Let’s get down to business,” Black Crow said. His confidence commanded respect, and everyone gave him undivided attention.
“Pukawiss, over here.” Black Crow laid out a sleeping bag a few feet away from the campfire, indicating that Joshua should lie in it.
Joshua started to get up.
“Oh wait, sit back down. I forgot the smudge,” Black Crow said, looking around frantically for his smudge stick.
Joshua sat back down on the stump, looking confused. He hadn’t realized this was going to be so formal. He had never used smudge for his dreams before. He just sort of slept.
Black Crow lit up the smudge and offered it to each of the guests. It had a soothing effect, as the pleasant aroma of cedar and sweet grass filled the air.
“Can’t believe you almost forgot the smudge,” Mokwa said, as though Black Crow were an idiot.
“Dude, quiet,” Black Crow commanded, as he continued with the ritual.
The interns knew exactly what to do as Black Crow approached them with the smudge. They were well practiced in its use, having been at the village for several weeks now. As the smoke rose from the smudge, the interns waved their hands through it, beckoning the smoke upward toward their face and dousing their head, as though they were being baptized.
When Black Crow finished with each of the interns, he walked over to Mokwa and Little Deer. After the two reverently cleansed themselves with the smoke, he finished by offering some to Kiwi and Jenny. Black Crow then smudged the surrounding environment, careful to get any object along the lakeshore, even the tree stumps on which everyone was sitting. If anyone thought that was going too far, they kept it to themselves. Besides, it was having the desired effect. Everyone had quieted down, taking in the seriousness of what was about to transpire.
Joshua watched closely as he sat on the log in front of the campfire, anxiously waiting for the dreaming part to begin. Pywacky sat next to Joshua’s feet, observing the strange ritual.
“Okay, Pukawiss, now,” Black Crow said as he motioned once again for Joshua to get into his sleeping bag.
Finally, Joshua thought. He started to get up once again, only to be interrupted a second time.
“Oh my God! Wait a second,” Black Crow said, looking horrified. He raced over to Joshua’s sleeping bag and started smudging it as well.
“Is that really necessary?” Joshua asked, annoyed, as he sat back down on his stump.
“Shhh,” Little Deer and Mokwa said, thus sanctioning Black Crow’s actions.
“Dude, you’re asking for help from the manitous,” Mokwa explained. “We have to purify the whole area. Everything.”
“Create a sacred space,” Little Deer added, as Black Crow continued smudging Joshua’s sleeping bag.
Jenny looked amused. “What do you know about any of this, little brother?” she said to Little Deer.
“Shut up. I know stuff,” he responded.
Joshua sighed. “Fine,” he grumbled, not wanting to get into an argument. “It’s not like I know anything about dreaming.”
“Okay, finished,” Black Crow said, finally done with the smudging.
Joshua got up once again.
“Oh my God, wait!” Black Crow commanded. Joshua froze in place as if he had committed some horrendous crime. Black Crow ran over to Joshua with the burning smudge in his hand. Pywacky was sitting on the ground next to Joshua’s feet and tensed up as Black Crow approached with the burning incense. But Joshua sat back down and kept petting him, reassuring his furry pal that he was safe. Pywacky stood his ground, but he cautiously eyed Black Crow and the smudge.
Black Crow kneeled down gently and held out the smoking incense for Pywacky to smell. “It’s okay, Precious,” he said calmly.
Pywacky eyed it cautiously and took a whiff, and Black Crow proceeded to wave the stick over the cat’s head.
Kiwi giggled. “I don’t think anyone has ever smudged a cat before,” she joked.
“Yeah, he was already purr,” Joshua said, snickering at his own pun. “Weren’t you, little guy?” Joshua rubbed Pywacky’s ears and proceeded to answer his own question. “Yes you were. Yes you were.”
Pywacky purred loudly.
“Pukawiss, over here!” Black Crow commanded, pointing to the sleeping bag.
Joshua looked confused. “So, I’m supposed to just lie down and sleep?”
“Yes, and the rest of you, sit down and be quiet.”
“While everyone just watches me?”
“Dude,” Mokwa said, urging Joshua to do what he was told.
Joshua obliged, despite his increasing frustration. He got up, walked over to his sleeping bag, and got inside it, pulling it up to his shoulders as he lay on his back. Pywacky followed, looking Joshua over for a second, before walking over and plopping down by his feet.
With his eyes closed, Joshua said grumpily, “Do I at least get a stupid pillow?”
“Oh, sorry, I brought that too,” Black Crow said as he got back up and reached into his backpack. He chucked a tiny pillow over to Joshua. “Here you go.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t smudge it,” Joshua mumbled. He put the pillow underneath his head and closed his eyes, while Black Crow picked up a rattle and pointed it to Mokwa and Little Deer, motioning them to start.
“Oh, aye, ay, oh, aye, ay,” Black Crow chanted to the hypnotic sound of drums and rattles.
Joshua hummed along with Black Crow.
“Oh, aye, oh….” Black Crow stopped his chanting and shot Joshua a fierce glance. “Stop that humming!” he commanded.
“Sorry,” Joshua said, feeling increasingly unimportant.
The chanting started up again. “Oh, aye, oh, eye, ay, oh.”
As Joshua listened to the chanting, he gazed up at the stars. It was a beautiful night. Perfect, in fact. In that moment of absolute serenity, Joshua was determined to get this right. He could actually see this whole thing working. All he had to do was close his eyes and sleep. He felt exhausted from the long and emotionally draining day, so that shouldn’t be a problem. He closed his eyes once again and began to drift off to sleep. Then he heard the interns whispering to each other, seemingly entranced by the ritual.
“So, is he dreaming yet?” Oli whispered to Caleb.
“I don’t think so,” Caleb answered back.
Kiwi got up and ransacked a few of Black Crow’s baskets, looking for something to eat. “Didn’t you bring any food?” she said, unable to find anything.
“Oh for Christ’s sake, am I just supposed to sleep with all this noise? This is not going to work!” Joshua shouted, expressing his disapproval to his audience.
“Quiet!” Black Crow snapped, sounding a bit annoyed. “What do you know about dreaming anyway?”
“Okay, that’s it,” Joshua said jumping out of his sleeping bag, startling Pywacky to his feet. “Out, everyone out!”
The interns looked confused, as if wondering if this was part of the ritual.
Joshua took a deep breath and calmed himself a bit. They meant no harm, after all. “Look, I appreciate your int
erest, and your help, but dreaming isn’t exactly a spectator sport.”
Caleb laughed. “You’re right, Pukawiss. We should get back to our campsite.” He motioned for his fellow interns to get up and join him as he headed back toward the trail. The other interns followed suit. “Good luck tonight, Pukawiss,” he said to Joshua in a sincere tone.
“Migwetch,” Joshua replied. He then looked over to the rest of his friends. “And now for you guys. If you want to stay, you go to sleep too.”
“But—” Black Crow started to object.
Mokwa put his finger over Black Crow’s lips. “Shhhh,” he said, silencing Black Crow. “You don’t want to piss off a two-spirit.”
“Meow,” a loud sound rang out.
“Or his cat,” Little Deer added.
WITH THE interns back at their campsite, Joshua settled down in his sleeping bag and tried to relax. Mokwa and Little Deer joined him, spreading out their sleeping bags on either side of him. The fire was still going strong and would keep them warm throughout the cold August night. It was due to get down into the low 40s, so they would need it. Black Crow and Kiwi had gone back to town to get some sleep, promising, like Jenny and Gentle Eagle, to return early in the morning for the results of Joshua’s experiment.
With the spectators gone, Joshua started to feel more confident. After all, how hard could this be? He had vivid, prophetic dreams all the time. Why would trying to direct those dreams be any different? As his performance anxiety subsided, it was finally time to focus on his dreaming. He took in a long, deep breath as he lay on his back in his sleeping bag facing the stars. He released it, along with all of his worries and self-doubts. He repeated the calming exercise several times until he was completely relaxed.
Onwaachige the Dreamer Page 11