Let Me Love You

by Lily Foster

  Mick cleared his throat then. “Ok, love birds. You know you just stopped mid-conversation to gaze into each other’s eyes?”

  Caleb laughed. “So like, you think Meredith Carey is a kindred spirit?”

  “Yes! I thought I was the only one who used that expression. I just feel like she’s going to be my mentor, someone who really supports me and teaches me. I hope I’m right.”

  “I’m sure she’s going to be grateful to have someone like you on her team. And I’m so glad that prick isn’t going to be your boss anymore.”

  I silently agreed. “Oh, and I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but the last time we spoke she mentioned the upcoming Winter Olympics and how, since I spoke French, there might be an opportunity for me to go. Wouldn’t that be great?”

  Caleb’s face scrunched up. “You speak French?”

  I guess I looked at him like-duh. “Oui!”

  “How did I not know that? I just assumed your parents were of French descent.”

  “No, they were both born and raised there. French was the only language we spoke at home when I was little.”

  “What else don’t I know about you, Rene?”

  “Let’s see…I have a terrible throwing arm.”

  “Knew that.”

  “But I’m freakishly good at beer pong.”

  “Good to know. Any other hidden talents?”

  “Plenty, but you’ll have to discover them as you go along.”

  Mick chimed in, “Hey, Rene, if you do go over maybe you could hook us up. I’ve only been to the Olympics once, in Sydney. That was a great trip.”

  “Like I said, I’m getting way ahead of myself. I haven’t even started working yet. But if I do get to go you guys definitely have to come over.”

  “Rene, you should pop over to the studio tomorrow before you leave.”

  “I am, Caleb. I contacted her personal assistant already. I’m going to catch the broadcast at seven so I have to leave a little earlier than you tomorrow.”

  “Then we’re heading out now.”

  As Caleb tossed money onto the table, he said, “Good to meet you, Farrah. Mick, tomorrow?”

  “Yep, see you at four.”

  Mick got up and gave me a kiss. “It’s really good to see you again, Rene.”

  “You too, Mick.” And I said, so just he could hear, “You know, I’m so glad I ran into you this summer.”

  Walking into the station’s lobby was like coming home in a strange way. Pat, one of the security guards, remembered me, which warmed my heart. “Is that Rene? Hello!”

  “Hi, Pat. I’m so glad you remembered me!”

  “How could I forget the girl who went out of her way to get me coffee when I looked extra tired? I hope you’re back for good now.”

  “Just visiting today but I’ll be back right after graduation.”

  He waved me through security. “So good to hear it. Head right on up.”

  Barbara Kern was walking through the foyer as I came off the elevator and greeted me warmly. “Rene, Meredith is so glad you’re here. Come, I’m going to show you around, and then you can watch the rest of the taping. We’ll meet Meredith in her dressing room after.”

  It couldn’t have gone better. Meredith and I caught up and she was so informative when I asked her questions about the production. We wound up having lunch together with the executive producer, Chris Quivers, who turned out to be Matt’s uncle. Small world; good thing I don’t believe in burning bridges.

  I called Caleb on my way back to the airport. I was so excited. It was getting closer. It was real. They told me my start date was June first. Caleb was excited and told me he’d take some vacation time during those days I had between graduation and my first day of work. I was babbling on the phone with him, relaying everything we’d spoken about at lunch, what I’d observed during the broadcast, my need to go clothes shopping. He broke in, “Rene, I’m so proud of you. You sound so happy.”

  “I am. I’m so happy that I’m scared.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I wasn’t really sure. “Everything is great. The job…and especially you. I’m afraid that it’s all too good. I don’t want anything to change.”

  “I know what you mean, angel, but everything should be good for you. Get used to it.”

  Caleb

  While she was talking to me on the phone I was on travel sites. I was whisking that girl away the day after graduation. May… I’d decided on the Maldives. I’d been there before and wanted Rene to see this paradise. We had ten days so we could take a longer trip. One thing about Rene, though, was that I wasn’t sure about surprising her. Someone else would be excited about having a great trip sprung on them but with her, yeah, I didn’t know.

  “Can I take you away after graduation?”

  “As my graduation present?”

  “Yes, your graduation present.”

  “Yes, Caleb.”

  “Do I have to tell you where or can I just tell you to bring your passport?”

  “You want me to just jump on a plane and not know where I’m going?”

  “Yes. My first instinct was to just surprise you on Graduation Day but I don’t know, I think you might kick me in the nuts instead of hug me.”

  She cracked up. “You know me well, Caleb. Ok. Just tell me city, country or beach. It’s killing me but I’ll leave the rest to you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Hurry up before I change my mind.”

  “Beach.”

  “Ok. I’m in. Oh, Caleb…I feel weird asking you this. I found a roommate. My friend, Maureen, from Bennett’s show is going to be needing someone when her roommate gets married this summer. But I can’t move in until August first. Can I stay with you until then?”

  “You’re kidding me, right? It’s now looking like June and July are going to be my best months ever.”

  “Thank you. You’re so good to me, Caleb.”

  “’Cause I love you.”

  I had all sorts of thoughts running through my head. Shit that was foreign to me. Like I wanted to ask Kate to go shopping with me and help me pick out some work outfits for Rene as a gift. I planned to clear out a part of the closet in my bedroom so that she’d have room for her things.

  I wanted my home to be hers.

  I knew this was temporary. She would not agree to live with me right away. I was just happy with anything I could get where she was concerned.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rene

  Senior Week had officially begun. While everyone else was in the moment, I would say I was half in it, at best. My mind was already past Graduation Day, excited about traveling with my hot boyfriend and starting my super-glamorous, fantastic job in broadcasting.

  It just couldn’t get any better.

  I had to fight with that voice in the back of my head that kept telling me to prepare myself for the other shoe to drop. It can’t last, Rene. Don’t get too used to this, Rene. It was ingrained in me. Too many years of living a hardscrabble life had left me with a deep-rooted fear that when things were great, it was usually too good to be true and wouldn’t last. With Caleb, though, I had to believe it could last. Please God, let me have this, I thought.

  I walked back into my place and saw Jenna, Caitlin and Beth sitting in the living room, looking shell-shocked. Dan was there with them.

  “What’s happening? You all look like someone died.”

  Beth said, “No, but you better sit down for this one.”

  “Tell me. You’re scaring me!”

  Caitlin broke the silence. “It’s Darcy. Tom…”

  I was getting impatient. “Tom what?”

  She went on, “Tom has a baby. He just found out about him. He’s three months old.”

  I sank into the couch. “Holy mother. Where is Darcy?”

  Dan was holding Jenna’s hand as he spoke. “She’s with Tom in Connecticut. Tom’s parents are away in Europe. They took the baby there.”

  “Wait. Where’s t
he mother? Who is the mother?”

  Dan said absently, “Some random hook up from last year.” He corrected himself then. “I guess I shouldn’t say that. A girl I vaguely remember. We were in Newport. She actually died in a car accident last month. The great-grandmother was caring for James but she really couldn’t handle it. I think Tom said she’s sick. Anyway, she reached out to Tom. He sounds like a fucking lost zombie.”

  I was kind of lost in thought and didn’t even realize I spoke aloud. “James? The baby is the same age as Rebecca.”

  Dan asked, “Rebecca who?

  Jenna spoke up. “Darcy’s niece.”

  Dan looked sad and far off then. “Oh…weird.”

  I looked to Jenna. “Have you spoken to her?”

  “Yes. She’s actually ok, I think. She sounds happy, totally infatuated with the baby. And I think she’s doing most of the caretaking. Tom sounds like he’s basically in shock and kind of out of it.”

  “I can imagine. I can’t even believe this.”

  Ugh. I knew I had to call Caleb. First I wanted to reach out to Darcy. I texted her:

  U ok?

  Thx, Rene. I know it’s crazy but I am. Tom is freaking me out a little but we’re ok.

  If u need anything I’ll b there. R u staying in CT? Me and Beth can b there in an hour to get u if you need.

  I’m good.

  Do ur parents know?

  Yes.

  Yikes.

  Lol. They were actually good about it. Tell girls I’m fine.

  Ok. Love u.

  Now for the hard part. “Hi, Caleb. What are you doing?”

  “Is this like a phone sex call? Are you going to ask me what I’m wearing next?”

  “No, perv.”

  “Glad you made it home safe.”

  “Listen. I’ve got something to tell you but promise you won’t freak?”

  He paused. “I’ll try.”

  “It’s about Tom and Darcy.”

  He sounded frantic all of a sudden. “What happened?”

  I said, in the calmest voice I could muster, “She’s ok and your parents already know. Tom apparently just found out he has a baby.”

  “What? What the fuck? What?”

  I took a deep breath. “She’s ok, Tom. She’s in Connecticut with him and the baby. Can I ask you not to call her right now, though?”

  “When? How did this happen?”

  “I don’t know all the details. Apparently a fling he had before he started dating Darcy.”

  “What a fucking asshole.”

  “Caleb.”

  “He’s an asshole.”

  I had to let him vent. It wouldn’t do any good to defend Tom right now.

  “Jesus, Rene. She’s so young.”

  “Darcy’s my age, Caleb. She’s actually a year older.”

  He was silent for a minute and then seemed calmer. “Have you spoken to her?”

  “We’ve texted. She’s good. She’s staying there for a few days until Tom’s parents get home.”

  “Should I head up?”

  “No! I mean, touch base with your parents. She cannot know I told you, ok?”

  “Ok. Listen, thank you. I gotta go right now, ok?”

  “Call me later, Caleb.”

  “Yeah, I will.”

  Ugh. I hated spilling Darcy’s business. This was so awkward. I was telling Darcy about me and Caleb on Graduation Day no matter what. I couldn’t do this anymore.

  When Caleb called me back a little later he still sounded agitated but he was more clear-headed. “Hey, sweetness.”

  “Are you all right, Caleb? I feel like I dropped a bomb on you.”

  “Are you ok? I felt bad that I hung up before without checking on you, Rene.”

  “I’m fine, really. Did you discuss it with your parents?”

  “Uh, no. I stopped by there tonight after work. It was easy to see there was something up but they didn’t spill so I didn’t bring it up. They asked me to come over for dinner Friday night. Your graduation is Saturday so I’m guessing they want to tell me, Kate and Luke together before we head up.”

  “Hey, if this interferes with the trip and all, I’ll understand if you can’t get away.”

  “No way. However this plays out, I doubt I’m being tapped for diaper changing duty. My parents will be here for Darcy to lean on. And no matter what happens, I want to tell my family about us before we take off. Is that ok with you?”

  “Yes, Caleb. I’m thinking I can’t do this—keeping secrets—anymore.”

  “Me neither. It doesn’t suit me.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. “Doesn’t suit me anymore either, I’m happy to report.”

  The next few days were filled with parties. Some were organized school events but the best parties were the informal ones in the Village. I ran into Tanner too many times. It was inevitable. I was happy to hear he had a date for the Commencement Dance. I would have felt awful if he wasn’t going. We had a nice conversation one night. He told me about his plans, I told him about mine. I could tell he was still hurting but he didn’t lay that at my feet. The girl that landed Tanner was lucky. He really was a great guy.

  I hurt thinking about how much I was going to miss the girls. They had been my support, my home, for the past four years. I knew I’d see Caitlin. She was going right onto grad school in Chicago but the girl could travel at will. She could be in New York twice a month. And I knew I’d be seeing Darcy, although she had no idea just how much she was about to be seeing of me! Jenna and Beth, I hoped, would not drift away with the distance between us.

  Darcy’s situation was not so great at the moment. She had come back to campus dejected. The Commencement Dance was the next day and when she practically stumbled in the door, looking exhausted after driving back and forth in one evening to Tom’s house, you knew things were heading downhill. She wept for an hour as we sat on her bed with her. Tom had all but cut her out. We all knew he was doing it thinking that it was best for her, but Darcy looked like she was in the kind of twisted pain that I knew all too well.

  Caleb had been checking in with me every day for an update. It was killing him to stay put and not comfort his little sister. Caleb knew that she was in good hands with us and I reassured him that Darcy would be out with me, Chris, Cara and a few others who weren’t going to the dance tomorrow night. “Rene, I feel like a shit.”

  “What for?”

  “Here I am asking all about Darce and you’re missing out on the dance because of me. I’m sorry you’re not going. You should be there too.”

  “When I tell you that I’m not disappointed at all, I mean it. Really, Caleb, I feel like the luckiest, most fortunate girl on the planet. Do you understand me?”

  He let out a resigned sigh. “Yeah, babe. I just don’t want you missing out on anything because of me.”

  “Stop. Don’t want to hear another word about it, ok?”

  “Ok.”

  “I’m afraid I’m probably going to wind up getting pretty drunk tomorrow if I’m drowning in Darcy’s sorrows, though.”

  “Be careful, angel.”

  “Don’t worry, we have Chris, our bodyguard. Six-two, two-twenty. No one messes with him, ok?”

  “Good, I trust that guy.”

  Darcy woke up the next morning ready to do battle. She came into my room in the morning with a sunny expression that nearly masked the red rimmed eyes and dark circles. “Ok, Rene. We’re a team today. I don’t want to be a dark cloud around everyone. I want to help the girls get ready before you and I go out on the town. I give you full permission to force feed me a pre-game shot if I start looking teary eyed at any point today, ok?”

  “You got it. But since I’m a total lightweight, I suggest we leave the shots until later or else I won’t make it out of here with you at all.” I sat up on the bed and hugged her. “Darcy, I feel just awful for you. You’re a strong girl, though. You’ll get through the next few days.”

  “It just feels so bad.”

&nb
sp; “How could it not?”

  She got through the day like a champ but she gave me the signal a few minutes early. I knew she had to get out of there before all the happy couples started milling around.

  Beth had been pressuring Darcy to accept one of the two, last minute date offers that came her way this afternoon but I knew she’d never spend this night with anyone else; it would make it even worse.

  Chris and his friend Dennis had the cab waiting when we got to his place. Cara and another girl, Frannie, rounded out our group. We went to a bar that had live music and a great crowd. I felt like Dennis and I were the happiest two in the group. Dennis’ girlfriend went to school in California so they just couldn’t make this work. I knew Chris had really wanted Caitlin to be his date but he never spoke up, and now she was going with her latest flavor of the month. Cara, of course, had been waiting in vain for Chris to ask her. Darcy was putting on a brave face but she was miserable.

  Dennis was grabbing the girls up to dance and as the drinks started flowing, so did the laughs. When I came back from the bathroom I caught the tail end of Darcy telling Chris about her situation. The three of us subsequently did a shot and had a good laugh about the absurdity of it all. Sometimes when things were this bad there was nothing to do but laugh. Dennis grabbed Darcy up to dance then and I was glad she went. Chris smiled at me. “Shit, Rene, and I thought I had it bad! Tom’s having quite the year, right? So where’s the older, more sophisticated mystery man tonight? I have to say, you don’t seemed bummed at all about missing the dance, Rene. Why?”

  “I’m the opposite of bummed. My life is crazy good right now, Chris.”

  He took my hands. “I’m glad. Is he going to be here for graduation?”

  “Yes. I don’t know if I can introduce you that day, though.”

  He looked at me with a skeptical, worried expression. “Ok but why? I am one of your closer friends.”

  I looked around. I had this overwhelming need to let him in on my happiness. “Will you put this in the vault?”

  “Of course, you know I don’t blab.”

  “I can’t let anyone know until I tell Darcy myself.”

  He cocked his head and looked utterly baffled. “Come again?”

  I couldn’t help the grin that spread clear across my face. “It’s Darcy’s brother, Caleb. He’s my older, sophisticated mystery man. I was going to tell her a while ago but she was so hell bent on rooting for Team Tanner and then all this crap with Tom. It was just never the right time.”