Edge of the Heat (Westwood Harbor Corruption)

by Ladew, Lisa

  Here Emma started to cry softly, making no noise, but the tears ran down her face freely. She hated to cry in public, but she knew it had to come out. If it didn’t, it would eat her alive. That’s why they did this. So less rescue workers committed suicide or became alcoholics after incidents like this.

  She looked at Craig. The compassion in his eyes was obvious. He gently took her hand in his. She thrilled at the touch, even under all her emotion. He nodded slightly, encouraging her to go on.

  “But he wasn’t dead! And I couldn’t live with myself if he died while waiting for an ambulance, so he went first. Luckily we got another ambulance in swiftly and I found a firefighter to drive it to the hospital so the two paramedics could both be in back and those other two could go together. They were both still talking, last I saw them.”

  She stopped and took a deep breath. Someone was standing behind her. It was Dr. Morgan. He pulled up a chair and asked “Emma, how did that make you feel?”

  Emma looked down at Craig’s hand holding her hand and drew strength from his presence. She sucked in a breath and said “I don’t know if I felt anything on scene. I didn’t let myself feel anything then.”

  “So how did it make you feel when you got home - when you got a chance to think about it, or how does it make you feel now?” Dr. Morgan prodded.

  “Terrified!” Emma whispered fiercely. “It’s horrible to have to make decisions about who gets care first. It’s scary to know that whether many people live or die could rest squarely on your shoulders.”

  The tears started coursing again. Dr. Morgan nodded at her and stood up. “Emma, I know it hurts, but you don’t need me. The healing is in the feeling, and you are doing a great job. Please don’t think I am heartless when I leave, but I need to root out those who aren’t feeling anything.” He patted her on the shoulder and went to the next group.

  Craig watched him go, then scooted his chair next to Emma’s and put his arms around her. Emma felt completely enveloped in his manliness. He was so big and strong and his arms felt like the safest place to be in the world. He wasn’t judging her. Something broke inside her and she started to sob, as quietly as she could. She wished the room was noisier. She hated the thought of people looking at her and watching her cry, but she couldn’t help it. She had been strong, and now she needed to heal, like the doctor said.

  Craig held her with one arm and smoothed her hair back with his other hand. He murmured comforting words into her ear. They stayed that way until she was done. When she got every last tear out she scrubbed her eyes and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Somehow, tissues appeared. “Thanks,” she whispered, and laughed a little, trying to hide her awkward feelings.

  She turned in her chair a little and scrubbed her face and blew her nose. She knew she looked frightful now. Good thing she had already decided Mr. Handsome Firefighter was off limits or she would be horrified.

  She snuck a peek at his face and again, all she saw was compassion. That made her feel better.

  “So your turn, what was your worst moment.”

  “The woman with the shrapnel in her thigh, did you see her?”

  “Briefly - Jerry evac’ed her,” Emma said.

  “She looked just like my mom,” Craig said almost too softly to hear.

  “She looked just like my mom, and I ended up carrying her out of there and into the hospital.”

  “What? Why did you carry her?” Emma asked.

  “Because she wouldn’t get on the board, and she screamed holy hell anytime anyone suggested it or tried to put it near her. Finally, Jerry told me to see if I could get her to do it. I thought ‘she looks like my mom, so maybe if I treat her like my mom, I can get her to calm down.’ So I sweet talked her. I told her that she was doing real good and that I knew it hurt like hell and we had to get her to the hospital so they could give her some painkillers. She wanted me to give her painkillers but we don’t have any so I just kept talking to her real soft like I did to my mom at the end and finally she calmed down enough that she said she thought she could hop to the ambulance. No way I was going to let her hop, but when she climbed up and leaned on me I just picked her up. She was all bandaged but blood squirted out all over me anyway. I didn’t care about the blood, but I could see her face go gray. I told her ‘You just hang in there Linda and I’ll get you to the hospital.’ I carried her to the ambulance and put her down on the gurney and went to the hospital with her. She held my hand the whole way and cried when I told her I had to leave to go back to the scene.”

  Emma felt like crying all over again. Her heart hurt for this big, strong man who was really just a soft teddy bear inside. “What do you mean, how you talked to your mom at the end?”

  Craig’s lips pressed into a thin line. “My mom died of stomach cancer 3 year ago.”

  She grasped his hand, like he had grasped hers. “Oh Craig, I am so sorry.”

  “Thanks.” Craig put his head down in his hands. He didn’t move or make a sound. Emma put her other hand on his shoulder and laid her head over his.

  “She had her leg amputated.”

  Emma lifted her head. “What? Your mom?”

  “No, Linda. I went to check on her yesterday and her leg was gone. She cried again when she saw me. I brought her flowers, and she joked about getting a bionic leg.

  His head dropped into his hands again, and this time Emma heard a strangled sob come from him.

  “Oh Craig, it’s OK.”

  Her heart broke open for Linda and for Craig and for Craig’s mom. She put her head down on his again and cried silently into a tissue.

  She felt a presence again and looked up. Dr. Morgan was there. “OK?” he mouthed.

  She nodded and put her head back down.

  Craig started to stir. They looked at each other and both smiled.

  Emma felt as close to Craig as she felt to Jerry.

  “That was nice of you to go visit her.”

  “Thanks.”

  They both looked around the room and saw people in various poses just like they had been in. Men hugging men, women hugging women, and the Fire Chief holding a burly man’s hand while he talked.

  “Anything else you want to share?” Emma asked quietly.

  “Nah, that was the worst of it for me. I feel better now.”

  “Me too.”

  Dr. Morgan stood up from where he was and clapped his hands - break time everyone. Finish up and take a 30 minute break. We will all meet back here at 10:00.

  ***

  There were more exercises after break, and Emma’s good feelings towards Craig only intensified when he stood up and told the group the most “heroic act he witnessed” was the way Emma and Jerry pulled the whole scene together and got the seriously wounded out swiftly and expediently. She also learned that the man with the big slice in his throat actually lived and was awake and talking. She said a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was listening for helping her to make the right decision that day.

  Instead of breaking for lunch and returning, they had a long second half and then everyone was released for the day. Jerry, seeing them in the hallway after finishing up with his group yelled “Emma, Craig, let’s get some lunch!”

  “Ok, where?” Craig yelled back.

  “Anywhere but Nan’s!” came the reply.

  ***

  Jerry finagled them all into walking to his favorite Italian place, 2 blocks away.

  Sitting in the booth, waiting for their food to come, Jerry asked Emma “So what the hell ever happened to Dr. Jerk, anyway? I never saw him at the scene anywhere.”

  Emma knew this question was coming but she was still unprepared. She knew what Jerry was going to say when she told him.

  “He wouldn’t go to the scene,” Emma said, looking him straight in the eye.

  “What, he wouldn’t go? What do you mean he wouldn’t go?”

  “I mean I pulled him that way and he said no and that’s all I know. I went to the scene.”

  “That cow
ardly, no-good, piece of crap, jerkwater-”

  Emma interrupted him. “Look Jerry, he’s a surgeon, not a rescue worker, you can’t expect him to respond like we do.”

  “He’s a doctor, why are you defending him?” Jerry almost yelled.

  “Who are we talking about here?” Craig asked.

  “Some doctor who has the hots for Emma,” Craig explained. “He was with us at Nan’s when we heard the explosion but apparently he never came to the scene.”

  Craig sat back in his chair, big arms crossed, but he didn’t comment.

  “Are you defending him because he asked you out Emma? Why would you want to go out with him? He’s a jerk! You deserve somebody better than that for sure.” Jerry’s volume went up with every word.

  Emma’s patience broke. It wasn’t Jerry’s business who she dated or was interested in. And he should know! He knew about the vision! He was supposed to be supportive of her! “Yeah, like who Jerry? There’s not a line of men around the corner waiting to date me in case you haven’t noticed,” she spit back.

  Jerry’s face was turning red. “Well how about Craig? He’s a nice guy. He could date you.”

  “He doesn’t want to date me Jerry!” Emma was mortified that he would even make that suggestion right in front of Craig.

  Craig uncrossed his arms and sat forward, “Well, yes I do.”

  “What?” Emma and Jerry both turned towards Craig in unison.

  Craig looked straight at Emma and said “Emma, would you like to go out on a date with me?”

  Chapter 8.

  Emma hurried to get ready for her date. She just returned home after a 12 hour shift and now she had less than 30 minutes. She didn’t dare tell Jerry that she was going out on a date with Reece tonight. She knew he would hate the idea like he hated the doctor. Jerry was like a big brother to her, and she didn’t like to disappoint him. He was the closest thing she had to family.

  She had said yes to Craig, awkward as she felt about it, but before they went on their date she knew she had to discover if Reece was the man from the vision. If he was, she would cancel with Craig. If he wasn’t, well, there was no harm in having some fun until she met the man from the vision, was there?

  Jumping out of the shower, she quickly blow-dried her hair so that it cascaded down her back. She usually never spent any time on her hair, opting instead for the scrunchy ponytail look, but tonight was important.

  She was even going to put on makeup. Normally, she wore nothing but a little mascara to accentuate her light blue eyes. Her eyes were so startling they generally carried her whole face and she just looked funny if she made up anything else, or at least that’s what she thought. But tonight she would do the works: light powder, a little blush, and some pale pink lipstick.

  She finished up with the only little black dress she owned, and some low pumps and she was out the door. She was scheduled to meet him at Antoine’s in 6 minutes. Oh Lord she was never going to make it.

  ***

  The hostess took her right to Reece’s table. He saw her from across the room and jumped up to pull out her chair. He looked very handsome in his dark suit that fit him perfectly. He looked every bit the part of affluent doctor, while she felt a bit like an impostor in this very expensive restaurant.

  Jerry just didn’t understand. Some people were the type to drop everything and run into a burning building, and some people weren’t, doctor or not. She was sure that Reece played the hero very well in a controlled medical environment. She didn’t begrudge him his refusal to run into a building that was belching smoke out every window at all after seeing him here. He was a gentleman, not a crazy brute, and that’s what you had to be in order to do what she did and what the firefighters and cops did every day. A little bit crazy, a lot aggressive, with a pinch of foolishness thrown in. Doctors have to be more arrogant than crazy, more self-assured than aggressive, and definitely never foolish. You couldn’t blame a doctor for having a different heart than a rescue worker. Emma wished Jerry could get that.

  “I was so glad to hear from you Emma. Thank you for calling me and suggesting we meet for dinner. I must again insist that you are letting me pay, like a proper date?” Reece said as she sat down.

  “Yes Reece, that would be wonderful, thank you. I’m not sure I could afford the food here anyway,” Emma spoke softly, almost whispering. She was really out of her element here.

  “You order anything you want, I can afford all the food here,” Reece told her proudly.

  “OK,” Emma opened her menu and took a look.

  “You look beautiful this evening. I love your dress. Black looks good on you and brings out your fabulous eyes.”

  Emma laughed, “Everything brings out my eyes.”

  “Yes, they are rather remarkable. Do they run in your family?”

  Emma hesitated. How did they already get on the subject of her family? “I don’t know. I don’t know any of my family.”

  Reece raised an eyebrow and said “oh? How is that possible?”

  Emma sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s not something I like to talk about.”

  “Oh, OK, I am the one who is sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up. Let us move on. Let us talk about pleasant things.”

  Emma smiled gratefully. “Thank you for understanding. Yes, pleasant things.”

  Reece leaned forward, “Perhaps after our dinner I can take you by the hospital and show you my department like I promised you. I received word yesterday that I will be declared the new Outpatient Surgery Medical Director, so it is truly my department now.”

  “Wow, Reece, that is amazing! Congratulations!”

  “Thank you. I take great pride in my medical career. Your partner was right about one thing. I will be the youngest medical director Westwood General has ever seen.”

  “Amazing.”

  They were interrupted by the waiter. He placed drinks on their table and held his pen over his pad.

  “I ordered you a red wine earlier. Why don’t I just order you my favorite?” Reece asked.

  Emma thought that was a little presumptuous, but heck, who knew if she was going to like anything here anyway. She sipped her wine and nodded her assent.

  “2 Crabes mous frits,” Reece said to the waiter, and then dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

  That was a little weird. Emma thought. I didn’t know people did that in real life.

  Reece started in talking about his department and how many doctors would be working under him and the fact that he wouldn’t have to ever do patient care again and about what his plans were for adding more staff as soon as possible.

  Emma nodded in the right places and listened a little listlessly. She wanted to be interested, she really did, but she just wasn’t. Reece didn’t seem to notice.

  The food came and Emma tried it. It was seafood of some sort. It wasn’t bad. She didn’t really like red wine so she drank more of her water than anything.

  Reece had his napkin in his lap and finished off his third bourbon while he was talking. His hands were animated, but seemed off to her. She was almost mesmerized by his hands. They didn’t match the inflections in his voice. They seemed to be telling her something totally different than what his words were saying. If only she could figure out what it was … Her attention waned.

  ***

  “So shall we go?”

  Emma jerked alert at the sound of his question. Reece’s steady drone of facts and opinions about everything he did every day and all the people he worked with had put her into a kind of trance and she didn’t even realize it. What a bore she was being! What was wrong with her? Here she was out with this handsome, successful man and she couldn’t even keep her mind on what he was saying!

  “Um, yes, certainly.” She stood up, noticing that the check was already at the table.

  Reece put his arm around her and walked her to the door. Once outside, he steered her towards his sleek, black Audi at the curb. He opened the passenger door and motioned for her to get inside. He
sitantly she stepped in. She didn’t know where they were going.

  Reece ran around the front and climbed inside the driver’s door. He ran his hand over the dashboard lovingly. “This little baby cost me $340,000.”

  A little bolt of disbelief rippled through Emma’s chest. An involuntary gasp escaped her lips. He spent $340,000 on a car? Emma wasn’t hurting for money, but if she had $340,000 she certainly wouldn’t spend it on a car. She would buy a home with it. Or donate some of it to poor kids at Christmas and set up a soup kitchen for all the homeless she saw every day and give it to families with no money for even food who were trying to feed babies. She knew people spent that kind of money on cars all the time - or even sillier purchases, but it wasn’t part of her everyday reality. She couldn’t understand it.

  Reece must have taken her gasp as a compliment. He chuckled. “Yes, but she was worth every penny.” He started the car and pulled out into traffic.

  Emma gasped again, internally this time, at his aggressive style of driving. “She” was a sports car, no doubt about it. Emma grabbed her seatbelt and put it on. She noticed Reece wasn’t wearing his. She thought to herself how he seemed to really put away the bourbon at dinner. She didn’t notice how many he drank, but she thought she remembered at least 4 of them disappearing down his throat. What have you gotten yourself into Em? When did you become stupid? Internally, she weighed her options.

  Thankfully, the hospital was close. He pulled into the parking garage. “I get my own parking spot,” He remarked proudly, not noticing the relief on her face.

  They parked in his spot and headed for the door. He always walked about a half step ahead of her. Emma thought maybe that was her fault. She wasn’t used to wearing heels. She followed him down the long hallway towards an elevator. They got inside and he pressed number 4.

  Leaning towards her he winked and said, “Now you get to see where the magic happens.”

  He smelled good. So far Emma wasn’t sure how she felt about this date, but he was definitely attractive. She hadn’t felt any fireworks yet, but that didn’t mean anything. He certainly didn’t turn her stomach.