Ride the Wave

by Natasha West

  Two women passed by on those words and Natalie turned to see them shoot a glance at her. Eden saw it too. ‘Come in, will you?’

  Natalie scuttled in, not sure if it was a good idea to be alone with Eden. Not that she put any stock in Isabella’s prophecy, that was patently not going to happen. But she was worried that if she got too deep into this conversation, she’d accidentally show her hand. God, why did she have to realise she was into Eden right when she was at her door? Why couldn’t it have happened when she was at home, watering the plants? Or in her car? Or doing the dishes? It had to be now, didn’t it?

  ‘So, come on, what’s it all about?’ Eden asked.

  ‘Look, I’ve been a dick. I’m sorry. Can we leave it at that?’ Natalie said briskly, not looking at Eden.

  But Eden was having none of it. ‘I respectfully decline your request.’

  Natalie looked up at Eden, discombobulated. ‘What? You can’t do that. We’re not at work. You can’t make me talk.’

  ‘I know that. If anything’s become clear, it’s that you only speak when you want to,’ Eden said sardonically. ‘But I think we need to have this out.’

  ‘Well, I don’t,’ Natalie said, slightly peeved. She was glad of her annoyance, it made her forget her dreadful revelation.

  Eden sighed. ‘Look, just… Can you just tell me what it is that I’m doing, this thing you hate? I might be able to stop doing it if I knew what it was.’

  ‘I doubt it,’ Natalie said.

  ‘It’s that bad?’ Eden asked. That hurt look was in her large, dark eyes again. Natalie couldn’t take it. ‘It’s not bad. It’s the opposite. It’s…’ She shrugged and said quickly, ‘You always look perfect, and you always say the right thing, and that’s why everyone loves you. It’s just… very annoying,’ she finished, hoping she hadn’t said too much.

  Eden rolled her eyes. ‘Everyone does not love me.’

  ‘Give me one example of a person at our workplace who doesn’t hang on your every word?’ Natalie demanded.

  Eden didn’t hesitate. ‘You. Look, you don’t have to feed me any crap. If you don’t like me, I could learn to handle that, give you space at work. You don’t have to pretend-’

  ‘But I do like you,’ Natalie blurted before realising it might have sounded a bit too enthusiastic. She had to walk it back a bit. ‘I mean, you seem… I think in other circumstances, we’d have been friendly-’

  ‘Look, please don’t lie to me. I don’t expect everyone to think I’m great,’ Eden said and then frowned. ‘I certainly don’t.’

  Natalie blinked. ‘Eden…’

  Eden suddenly placed a big smile on her face. ‘Sorry, ignore me. I’ve just been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately.’

  Natalie ignored Eden’s retraction. She knew when someone was pretending to be alright. She was, after all, pretty much a master of the art. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘What? No. No, no, no. I’m good. Just, you know, personal stuff.’

  Natalie remembered the story she’d concocted about Eden’s reason for being on the ship, the tale of the enthusiastic suitor. She wondered for the first time if that wasn’t a bit stupid. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked gently.

  Eden sighed. ‘Forget it. I don’t need sympathy.’

  ‘It’s not sympathy. Not yet, anyway. I mean, for all I know, you’re upset because they’d discontinued your favourite shampoo,’ Natalie said with a dry smile.

  Eden laughed. ‘Yes, that’s it. Damn you, L’Oreal.’

  Natalie smiled. ‘But seriously, I mean, I know you’ve probably got a thousand good friends you could talk to…’

  ‘Oh, two thousand, easily,’ Eden said wryly.

  ‘…But I don’t know. I could… I could listen. I’m told I’m quite good at it.’

  Eden sat on the edge of her bed. ‘It’s nothing, really. It’s probably the same reason most of the people on this boat are here. A break-up.’

  ‘You broke up with someone?’

  ‘No, she broke up with me.’

  Natalie tried not to let her face betray its surprise. That anyone on the planet would catch someone like Eden and then throw her back, shocked Natalie to the core. But as she was finding out today, she didn’t know shit about shit. ‘Oh. Really?’

  ‘Yeah, I guess she…’ Eden began and then stopped. She didn’t seem to have the words.

  Natalie couldn’t believe the turn of this day. Not ten minutes ago, Eden had been Eden, superstar boss. But now she seemed uncertain, vulnerable. Somehow, it was even more beautiful. Natalie drifted over and sat next to Eden. ‘She what?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Eden said sadly.

  ‘She’s an idiot,’ Natalie said quietly.

  ‘I don’t know about that,’ Eden said, not looking at Natalie.

  ‘Hey,’ Natalie said firmly, and Eden met her gaze. ‘She’s an idiot.’

  Eden kept looking at her and Natalie started to feel a bit nervous. Was she misreading this or-

  Eden kissed her. And Natalie kissed her back.

  Fourteen

  Eden stomped away from the dining room feeling ridiculous. All the little dramas that had erupted since she’d been on the boat, she’d stayed out of them. Until she’d created her own out of nothing. Why had she lost it like that at Natalie? She didn’t have the first clue. The only thing she knew was that she’d embarrassed herself. Natalie would probably avoid her even harder now. And she’d tell everyone at work about her big snit. Eden had practically screamed ‘Why don’t you like me?!’ She couldn’t think what the hell had gotten into her.

  Thinking it over, it was probably because Natalie was so cool with her. It left Eden wanting to win her over all the more. That had to be what was at the root of her meltdown, the reason Eden had let her mask slip. Eden hadn’t realised just how much she craved Natalie’s approval until now. But the cat was out of the bag. Eden knew. Worse, Natalie knew.

  Alone in her room, Eden found herself in front of the bathroom mirror. She shook her head at her own reflection. ‘You total idiot!’ she shouted at herself.

  Sometime later, as though sensing that Eden was at her lowest ebb, Keira chose that moment to text her. I think I left some jewellery at yours, can I collect it? End of message. No kiss on the end, no enquiries after Eden’s wellbeing, just, ‘I want my shit.’

  Eden texted her back. Don’t worry, I’ll send it to you.

  The reply was quick. Some of it’s expensive. Might get lost in the post.

  I’ll send it recorded delivery, Eden assured her.

  A few seconds later came the hasty reply. K.

  They’d lived together for six months, and this was what it had come to. Eden didn’t even merit a complete word from Keira anymore.

  Eden got up to look out of her porthole window, planning on looking wistfully at the ocean while she contemplated her crappy life. But she’d forgotten about the huge beam outside. She couldn’t even stare at the water while she was sad. What was the point of being on the ocean, if not that?

  Oh, that’s right. Meeting women. Which was also not working out. She didn’t like anyone, not like that. They were all just kids with short attention spans. Real woman paid her no mind, sensing her lack of substance. Women like Maggie, who’d seemed interesting but then made a beeline for that pouty make-up artist with the attitude problem. Or Natalie, who’d never wanted anything to do with her from day one. Not that she thought of Natalie like that. She was pretty for sure, with the deep-set blue eyes and the nice dimples, and her hair was the richest brown and hadn’t come out of a bottle either, but it wasn’t anything like that with her. It was simple admiration for someone who exemplified a lot of the traits that Eden admired. That wasn’t sexual attraction, was it? That was just, you know, feeling drawn to someone because they had a quality that you just wanted to be near. Attraction? No, Eden wouldn’t have considered being attracted to Natalie. Because someone like Natalie wouldn’t look at her twice. She’d see through her in a second. Eden didn’t nee
d that.

  There was a knock at the door. Eden checked her watch. Eleven. It was probably housekeeping. She went to the door, intending to say no thanks, maybe find some money for a tip. But when she opened it, it wasn’t a housekeeper with fresh towels and a can of Pledge. It was Natalie. She was wringing her hands, looking anxious. The second Eden saw her, she felt her stomach flop over. And she realised what she’d been pretending not to know for weeks. She had a thing for Natalie. Eden didn’t know how she’d been so successful at pushing it down, but it was screaming at her now. What was it that Glenn Close said in that film Fatal Attraction? ‘I’m not going to be IGNORED.’ That was what Eden’s attraction said to her as she looked at Natalie, standing at her door looking adorably scared. It would not go unheeded any longer. That attraction was cooking pet rabbits and trying to stab people in the bath. Big and crazy and unavoidable.

  But Eden was queen of the façade, and she was able to keep it from seeming too obvious, kicking it away like a dust ball under a sofa to be cleaned out another day with a powerful psychological vacuum.

  Natalie started apologising, saying she hadn’t been very nice and then saying that what annoyed her about Eden was that she was universally adored. If you’d blown on Eden, she’d have fallen over. That wasn’t how it was at all. She was thoroughly thrown. Plus, she was still feeling a bit shaky from that text from Keira. Things started to leak out, personal things, embarrassing admissions of heartbreak. Natalie had to think she was some sort of train wreck by now, yo-yoing from drama to drama. What was awful was that Eden was never like this, not with other people. She was usually an expert at keeping a lid on the less palatable emotions until she was alone. But not today. Not with Natalie. It was dreadful.

  Only Natalie didn’t turn away, didn’t act uncomfortable. She sat with her, told her Keira was an idiot, all the while looking at her with those impenetrable, soulful blue eyes. Something happened to Eden as she looked at her. She lost her marbles and kissed Natalie. She was surprised that it seemed somehow welcomed.

  It progressed quickly. Eden found herself straddling Natalie, pulling her t-shirt off, her bra. Natalie looked up at her with desire in her eyes and Eden looked back with the same want and set to work getting Natalie naked. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Eden hadn’t even thought they’d get a coffee together and now she was parting Natalie’s legs, moving down, listening to the beautiful sounds of Natalie’s pleasure. It was a miracle.

  Fifteen

  About an hour and change after Natalie walked into Eden’s room - and somewhere in the region of seven or eight serious orgasms later - Natalie lay back, spent and sweaty. Next to her, Eden was also trying to catch her breath. Natalie could barely comprehend what had happened. Isabella’s prediction had come to pass. She’d come to Eden’s room, and they had indeed had sex. Mind-blowing, world-altering sex. The kind of sex that makes you wonder what kind of amateur level stuff you’d been having before. But that was hardly surprising. Whenever Eden did anything, she did it very well. Apparently, that work ethic extended to the bedroom.

  It wasn’t anything like Gabby, who Natalie now realised was deeply selfish in bed. Eden was a giver and skilled at it. Natalie could only hope that Eden had enjoyed what had happened even half as much as she had. She glanced over, and from the hazy look in Eden’s eyes, she probably hadn’t had a bad time at least. Natalie’s eyes strayed to the rest of Eden’s body. She’d never expected to see her in her birthday suit. Not without high powered binoculars. As suspected, it was quite something.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Eden asked suddenly, looking over at her.

  ‘What?’ Natalie said, looking quickly back up at Eden’s face, embarrassed to be caught perving.

  ‘I’m just checking, I mean, are you… I’m sorry, I feel like I should say something, but I don’t exactly know what,’ Eden scrabbled.

  Natalie knew what she meant. This had all been such a surprise, Natalie didn’t know where to start. So she tried a joke. ‘Well, obviously I’m going to have to go to HR when we get back, tell them you’re a sexual predator.’

  Eden’s face fell. ‘What?’

  Natalie laughed. ‘God, I’m joking!’

  Eden breathed out relief. ‘Jesus, you scared me. I mean, technically I am your boss. I’m definitely not supposed to do things like this with subordinates.’

  Natalie raised an eyebrow. ‘Subordinates?’

  Eden winced. ‘Sorry. You know what I mean.’

  Natalie did know. She was saying that she regretted this. That it was wrong.

  She remembered Gabby again, happy enough to do the naked stuff, never wanting anything else. Eden clearly felt the same. This had happened because she’d been upset about her break-up, but she was still a woman who could have anyone she wanted. Eden had slept with Natalie because Natalie had been kind when she needed it. So Natalie wouldn’t make the same mistake she’d made with Gabby; she wouldn’t try and turn this into more than it was. ‘Look, this was nice,’ she said quietly to Eden. ‘But I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be a big deal.’

  Eden’s brow creased. ‘It doesn’t?’

  ‘No. I mean, I think… maybe we’re both in weird places at the moment. And we’re on this boat and… There’s that pressure, isn’t there? To hook up, I mean.’

  Eden nodded. ‘I guess there is.’ Natalie felt relief. She’d said the right thing. Eden was glad to be off the hook. All that remained was to leave this on the best possible note, to avoid future awkwardness. After that, Natalie’s next job was not to let her feelings spiral. She vowed to herself that by the time this boat docked, she’d have it sorted. She’d get over it.

  ‘So I hear the group wants to go to some cheesy piano bar tonight,’ Natalie said, getting up and putting her underwear on quickly. She didn’t have Eden’s body, and she was starting to feel acutely aware of that.

  ‘Oh?’ Eden asked, sitting up with the sheet around her, sweeping a hand over her hair, smoothing what Natalie had ruffled.

  ‘Yes, Max was telling me this morning. It was all planned out last night when they were partying. Probably be awful. But I don’t know, what else are we gonna do?’

  Eden smiled. ‘Yes, I’m sure I’ll get dragged along.’

  Natalie was dressed by now, and she stood uncertainly next to the bed. ‘Right, well, that’s me I guess,’ she said, looking down at herself, back together, at least on the outside.

  Eden hugged her knees. ‘So, I’ll see you later?’

  ‘You will,’ Natalie said with the lightest smile she could conjure. She let herself out of Eden’s room and shut the door quietly behind herself.

  Out in the hallway, the smile fell away. She took a deep breath and began to walk down the hall. Coming the other way was Isabella, wrapped in a towel, beach bag over her shoulder. She passed by Natalie and looked her up and down. She rolled her eyes. ‘Knew it.’ She kept walking.

  Natalie went back to her room and flopped back on her bed, wondering what the hell she’d just done. With a little distance, it all took on a dreamlike quality, the hallucinatory haze of pure fantasy. She’d slept with Eden, and it had been incredible. But it was a one-off, and she had to keep her head. She’d promised herself that she could, that she would. She had to keep that promise. She had to. Anything else would lead her round the bend.

  Sixteen

  Eden waited until the door clicked shut behind Natalie before she stopped smiling. A lovely hour followed by five unlovely minutes. But what else could it have been? Maggie had warned her about this. The pressure to hook up, she’d called it. That fever had clearly overtaken Natalie, she’d flat out said so. Not that Eden had expected her to drop down on one knee or anything. But while things had been happening between the sheets, it had seemed significant. Magical, even. It was disappointing that the spell had broken so quickly once it was over.

  But it didn’t have to be like that, Eden told herself. She didn’t have to see it as a disappointment that Natalie didn’t want to make m
ore of it. Natalie had been sweet to her, and passion had sprung out of that sweetness for a brief time. It could just be what it was. A beautiful and unexpected thing that would never happen again.

  If only Eden hadn’t realised how much she liked Natalie. It would have been a lot easier to sell herself this utter crock of shit.

  ***

  Eden was at her dinner table, working on a piece of tasteless fish. The rest of her dining buddies were all in situ, chatting away. Maggie was sitting next to her, telling her about her day. ‘God, speed dating this afternoon was a bust. Hardly anyone was there.’