Ice and Embers (Regency Redezvous Book 10)

by Melanie Karsak

  On the other side of the door, the gentleman laughed. “Come in, Miss McKenna.”

  I opened the door carefully and went inside. The room was well-lit. The gentleman sat in his bed, a book lying open on his lap. His color was much improved, a blush of pink in his cheeks.

  “Sir,” I said, curtseying when I entered.

  He smiled and waved for me to draw close. “Kind people, the Hawkings. Not the most formal, I must admit.”

  “No, sir,” I said with a smile then pulled a chair alongside his bed. “You’re looking much better.”

  “I’m feeling much better. The feeling in my legs has returned. I even had a turn about the room today. The local surgeon Doctor Murray has checking on me is very knowledgeable. I had hoped to see Doctor Murray today. Is he here?”

  “I’m sorry, he is attending to an injured patient on the Thames,” I lied again. Once more, my stomach clenched hard. I swallowed my upset and smiled serenely.

  The man nodded. “And you, Miss McKenna, how was your day? What did you enact?”

  “This evening, I played the role of Titania. This morning, however, I took on the role of the faerie godmother in Glass Slipper Girl.”

  “Ah, yes. I remember that tale well. My governess used to read it to me.”

  “You had a governess?” I asked.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Apparently so,” he said in surprise which made us both laugh. “But Miss McKenna, why do I remember you as a ballerina? Do you dance?”

  “I do indeed,” I replied. I opened my bag and pulled out one of my soft pink ballet slippers. “I was trained in ballet by my grandmother.”

  “May I?” he asked, reaching out for the slipper.

  I handed it to him. As he looked it over, he smiled. “The material is silk. It is old, but a fine quality. The dye is well done. The stitches…did someone do this to your slipper intentionally?”

  “Isn’t it interesting that you know so much on the fabrics?” I said, avoiding the question. I felt embarrassed and annoyed that I was embarrassed. It wasn’t my fault Marion was an evil shrew.

  The gentleman raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me but said nothing. “I’ve spent all day noticing each piece of linen in this room, examining its weave and color. Much to my surprise, I can tell you everything about these fabrics and where many of the bolts came from.”

  “Then we must put out a call amongst the haberdashers and hosiers.”

  “Master Hawking was kind enough to send out inquiries earlier today. I don’t mean to press, but I notice that you did not answer my other inquiry, Miss McKenna,” he said, looking at the rip on the side of my slipper.

  “You’re right. My apologies. I felt a bit embarrassed. Alas, that is the handiwork of a rival actress,” I explained.

  He signed heavily. “I am sorry to hear such an injustice was done to you.”

  “Thank you, sir. It’s no matter. They are very old and worn and needed to be replaced anyway.”

  “Indeed, which makes me suspect you kept them for a reason.”

  “Whomever you are, sir, you are quite perceptive,” I said with a smile which made him laugh.

  “Only concerned. I owe you and Doctor Murray my life, Miss McKenna. It pains me to think anyone would harm you. Once I remember who I am, I am very certain I shall have quite the debt to repay.”

  “Think nothing of it,” I said, setting my hand gently on his arm. I was surprised to find the muscles underneath were very firm.

  He took my hand and squeezed it very gently, his blue eyes soft as he smiled at me.

  “Tea?” Isabelle called from the doorway as she entered with a tray.

  I pulled my hand back.

  “Is she wearing trousers?” the gentleman asked under his breath.

  I chuckled.

  “No, thank you, Miss Hawking. I’ll never sleep if I take tea so late,” he told her.

  “Miss McKenna.”

  “Please. After spending all day on the ice, I still feel chilled.”

  Isabelle poured a cup, ladened it with sugar, then handed it to me. Taking a cup for herself, she sat on the end of the bed and took a sip. “Is that your ballet slipper?” she asked, looking at the gentleman’s hands.

  I nodded.

  Setting her cup down, she rose. She took my cup from my hand and set it aside.

  “You must teach me a step or two,” she said, pulling me to an open space.

  “Now?”

  “Why not?”

  The gentleman chuckled.

  “Very well,” I said. “Let’s begin. Take your first position like this,” I said, modeling the arrangement of my feet.

  Isabelle copied my movements.

  “Now, let me show you a simple plié,” I said, showing her the move which she imitated in a graceful manner. Despite her unkempt attire, she really was a lovely girl. Her curling dark hair was accentuated by her wide, dark eyes.

  “How is that?” she asked.

  The gentleman clapped. “You have it, Miss Hawking.”

  “If you should ever like a real lesson, we can arrange it. You could come to Struthers Theatre.”

  She smiled. “What a sweet offer. I am so busy right now helping Papa work on the wedding commissions but maybe afterward.”

  I nodded then lifted my cup of tea once more, this time polishing it off. My stomach full of the warm liquid, I determined it was time to take my leave.

  “I must be heading home before it gets too late,” I said.

  The gentleman smiled. “It was very kind of you to stop by. Thank you.”

  “I’ll return tomorrow. Can I bring you anything?”

  He shook his head. “No. Thank you.”

  “Some onion soup, perhaps?”

  He laughed. “I think I’ve had a lifetime’s worth.”

  Grinning, I curtseyed to him, and turning to Isabelle, we both headed back downstairs.

  “You will tell Doctor Murray we were sorry we didn’t see him today?” Isabelle said as she followed me to the door.

  “Of course. I’m sure he’s sorry he was not able to make a call.”

  She nodded, her expression hiding her disappointment very poorly. Perhaps she would make a graceful dancer, but her face was far too honest for the theatre.

  I fastened my coat once more, and with a wave, I headed back out into the night. The chilly air bit my nose. All at once, I was overcome with tiredness. I wanted nothing more than to be back in my little garret apartment.

  Following the twisting cobblestones, I finally found my way home once more. It was so foggy, I hadn’t seen a soul on my path there. The loneliness of it filled me with disquiet. Once I was inside my flat, the feeling did not ease. I lit the fire then pulled off my day clothes in favor of a dressing gown. The window of Kai’s garret was dark. He wasn’t home. Soon, my fire was burning warmly. Wrapping my blanket around my shoulders, I crawled up on the little ledge beside the window and stared at the darkened frame of Kai’s window. A sick feeling wracked my stomach. I closed my eyes and tried to remember all the good that had happened today, to remember the summer in winter John had shown me, the taste of his kiss, and the sweetness of his words. But no matter how hard I tried to focus on him, my eyes returned again and again to the dark window and the terrible sense of dread that washed over me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I woke the next morning feeling tired after a night full of fitful dreams. The sun had just risen over the horizon. My fire had burnt low, and it was terribly cold in the apartment. I pulled my blankets around me. Rubbing my hands together, I knelt by the stove to rekindle the fire. When the work was done, I rose and went to the window. Kai’s flat was still dark. I slipped on my boots, not bothering to lace them, then pulled on my coat. I went to the window and undid the latch. Moving carefully, I crawled out onto the roof.

  A wind whipped hard across the London rooftops, carrying with it the terrible chill that had frozen the Thames. I went to Kai’s window. Grabbing the metal handle, the deep chill of the freezi
ng metal biting my hand, I pushed the window open and looked inside.

  “Kai?” I called. The flat, which was no larger than my own, could be taken in in one glance. But still, it unnerved and surprised me to find it empty. I slipped inside.

  His little garret apartment was a mirror of my own. The only difference was that his grandmother, who had been talented with art, had painted the walls with flowers, birds, and swirling designs. I glanced around the room to find Kai’s small bed was still made.

  My hand dancing close to his stove, I felt no heat. I opened the grate and looked inside. There wasn’t even an ember still warm within. The fire had grown cold. Kai had not been home since we’d left yesterday morning.

  Panic swept over me, and my heart beat hard. It was unlike Kai to be so impulsive. He was a man whose days ran like a clock. As a girl, I had chided him because he would never dare risky adventures. Kai was serious and thoughtful. Maybe I flattered myself to think he wouldn’t be so callous as to leave me worrying about him like this. Maybe I didn’t fall as high in his esteem as I thought. Was I simply his childhood playmate? A neighbor? A poor orphaned girl for whom he felt sympathy? Maybe now that John had made his intentions clear, Kai didn’t feel like he had to worry about me anymore. The captain was very attractive, and Kai was unattached. Surely he had a right to his dalliances. What business was it of mine anyway? But if it wasn’t my business, why did I feel so miserable?

  A tear slipped down my cheek.

  The image of Kai lying on the captain’s cot, his shirt undone, and the captain naked, rolled through my mind. My stomach clenched. It seemed unthinkable that Kai had been intimate with another woman.

  Another woman?

  Other than me?

  What?

  I lay down on his cot. What a ridiculous notion. I didn’t own Kai. He was like a brother to me. I just wanted the best for him, that was all. I just wanted him to be happy, but getting drunk and rolling around with a lusty ship captain was just so out of character and entirely unacceptable. Kai was so much better than that. He was smart, handsome, kind, and loving. He was quite perfect, his surly nature aside. But I loved him for that. It was part of what made him who he was. How could he just throw himself away on a wanton woman instead of someone proper, someone who truly cared for him?

  Someone like me.

  The thought struck me hard.

  No. No, it was not like that. I was in love with John. John had set my world afire. His love was like an inferno burning its way through my life. We were just waiting for the moment to be together.

  But if my love was so absolute, why did my feelings for Kai seem so confused? Was I just being jealous? That was ridiculous, wasn’t it?

  I breathed in deeply. I could still smell Kai’s cherry-scented soap clinging to his bed linens. The smell, mixed with the heady masculine musk, was divine. It was like being with him.

  It occurred to me then that if I married John, I would rarely see Kai. I wouldn’t have his company, his garret window across from my own, his smell to comfort me.

  I rolled onto my back and looked up at the images painted on the ceiling above Kai’s bed. His grandmother had painted a window trimmed all around with vining red roses. And outside his window, she had painted an elaborate dragon perched on top of a castle, a plume of fire rolling from his mouth. Standing before the castle was a boy holding a wooden sword. Gram had painted Kai’s nine-year-old likeness.

  I smiled at the image. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye into my ear. If I couldn’t stand one night without Kai across from my garret window, how could I stand a lifetime?

  I rose and wiped away my tear. Maybe Kai was entitled to his own life, but not like this. If Gram were here, she would take Kai by the ear and drag him away from Captain Behra’s ship. But since she wasn’t here, it was up to me to keep Kai from danger. That woman was like the dragon breathing fire, a dangerous inferno. Kai was too good to see the evil and mischief in others. But to me, her ill-intentions were all too apparent. It was time to put out the flames.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The early morning sunrise lit the sky with shades of pink and purple. The ice on the Thames glimmered beautifully, reflecting the opalescent rays of the sun. The image of it reminded me of the inside of a clam shell, pearly white with a rainbow of pastel hues. The magnificence of the image, as if the Thames had been dipped into an enchanted glow, could not have been more in contrast with my sour mood. Inside me, I railed back and forth between Kai and the captain then at myself for my senseless fury then back again. At times, my anger even levied itself at John who seemed to have no good reason to treat me like some tart he should keep secret. I might have been a woman with a profession, but that did not make me a harlot. My bitterness spilled over to Marion and her petty jealousies. And once more, my anger would shift again to Kai.

  Since it was early in the morning, life on the icy Thames was just beginning to stir. Fires were being rekindled, wagons with fresh loads of ale were rolling in from the city, and the vendors opening their tents for the day yawned open-mouthed as they nursed steaming cups of tea. I frowned at the pleasant images, angry with them for being in such sharp contrast to my anger, then set my sights on the foreign ship. If Kai was still there, I would take him by the cuff and drag him home.

  Overnight, several more tents had cropped up on the ice near where the ship was docked. I dodged through a row of tents which lined the space, stepping over piles of timber and rope. I was just about to exit the narrow alleyway between the tents when I heard the sound of voices. A man and woman were having a heated argument.

  No, not just any man and woman. It was Captain Behra. But the other voice struck me as familiar as well.

  Standing beside one of the tents, I stopped for a moment and listened.

  “I’ll have no more of this, Tia. Send him away,” the gentleman said.

  “Or what?” the captain replied with a snort. Tia? Was that her first name?

  “Or you know what. Two can play at this game.”

  “You started this in the first place, mooning over her. Did you want to make me jealous? You didn’t even think about me until I took a lover.”

  “Took a lover?” the man said with a hard laugh. “You have taken a love which is far crueler.”

  “What do you know of love?”

  “Much. Which is why you need to let him go.”

  “Then you must agree to cease your affections as well.”

  “There is no affection, merely admiration. If you were not so proud, you would be able to see that. Are you so low that you cannot admire another woman’s gifts?”

  “Gifts? Is that what you’re calling those pert breasts? Those pale cheeks?”

  “I have no interest in her breasts, cheeks, or anything else. Jealous, Tia, you’re making excuses so you can delight in mortal flesh. And how have you come by it? Through trickery and drunkenness and for what, a petty slight?”

  “Petty? Petty? You call me petty? You are the one who is petty. You are the one who has done wrong.”

  “Again, I have no affection for any woman save my wife. Admiration, yes? Esteem, yes? But no one owns my love save you.”

  “Pretty words.”

  “Truth, my Tia. Let us make amends. Give me what I want and I shall leave this place.”

  “What you want?”

  “My son.”

  The woman laughed. “You lost him fairly. Is all this…are all these games, these taunts, because of Robin?”

  There was no reply.

  “How dare you,” the woman stammered. “How dare you play with me over such a thing? I will not be ruled by you, not now, and never again. I do not believe your pretty words. I will crush you and your esteemed girl. And I will break her love between my thighs until he has forgotten her.”

  The captain said no more. I caught sight of her as she headed back across the ice toward her ship.

  Left behind, the unseen gentleman sighed then turned. From the sound of his footfalls, he
was headed my way.

  I suppressed a yelp then turned and ducked into one of the tents. My heart thundered in my chest as I gripped the fabric of the tent door. I cast a hasty glance behind me to find two workmen fast asleep inside. The tent stank of ale and body odor.

  Taking a deep breath, I peered out the crack of the tent door.

  I bit my lip when the baron walked by.

  The captain and the baron were lovers? Were married? And for some reason still unclear to me, they were quarreling. The child, Robin, seemed to be the reason. Was he really their son? But more, were they talking about Kai and me? Was I the girl the baron esteemed? Had she trapped Kai because of me? A dragon indeed and a dangerous one at that.

  I needed to get Kai out of there. But I would need help.

  Making sure that the baron was far out of sight, I dashed out of the tent. Happy to take in a breath of unspoiled air, I filled my lungs with the frosty morning scent then turned and headed toward the Ice House Theatre. The men in my company were not soldiers, but they were not to be trifled with either. I would have to enlist their help if I had any hope of retrieving Kai. The captain’s plan exposed, I knew my old friend needed my help more than ever.

  As I headed back toward the Ice House, I replayed the conversation I’d overheard again and again in my mind. The captain had been so cruel to the baron who had been nothing but kind and gentle. Why did some women become so rough? What happened to make them lose their softness? Was there any way to mend their frozen hearts? Perhaps the answer to retrieving Kai was not in a show of force. I stopped then turned around, heading back in the direction toward which I’d seen the baron travel. Even the Thames would eventually melt under the warmth of the sun. Maybe the captain could as well. The gentleman had been nothing but kind to me. Was there a way I could help him make amends?

  I rushed down the ice. I turned a corner and spotted the baron. He marched angrily toward the other end of the river, away from the captain. Lifting my skirts, I rushed to catch him, but a pair of hands suddenly stopped me.