Ice and Embers (Regency Redezvous Book 10)

by Melanie Karsak

  “But how—what did you—did you tell him about me?” he stammered. His face had gone completely pale.

  “And what, exactly, would I tell him? That I am just as much of a fool as every other girl you’ve been lying to? That I believed you actually loved me? That I trusted you? Why me? Why in the world would you play such a game with me? Who am I to you? I’m no one. I never did anything to you, to anyone. Was all this just to…merely because you wanted to bed me? Was that all? Why not just spend the coin and ride a whore. Why bother me?”

  “Because someone like you would never look at a man like me without a fancy title. You, who denies the likes of Lord Byron, would never accept a low-born gardener’s son. I’m nothing. No one. If you’ll deny Byron, why would you love me?”

  “Byron? What does Byron have to do with it?”

  “I saw him at the theatre when he propositioned you. You would not have him. And if you would not have him, why would you ever take a man like me?” John said. The look on his face was a mix of shame and anger. By all appearances, he was a man shattered, but his excuses hurt almost as much as his lies. How could he think so low of me?

  “I didn’t accept Byron because he is a bawd and because I do not love him. I am an actress, John—or whatever your name is—I’m not some fine lady. I can love an honest man no matter his station, high or low, but not a rogue or a liar.”

  He laughed ruefully. “You won’t even accept your doctor friend. Do you really expect me to believe you’d let someone like me bed you? Now, who is lying?”

  “Don’t turn this on me. My heart is open to an honest man. If you really cared for me, you never would have tricked me. At what point were you planning to tell me who you really are? Once you had my maidenhead? Is that all this is about to you? A game to win a place in my bed for the night? No doubt you would have rid of me once you’d bedded me as you did with that other girl.”

  John paled even further, revealing I had come close to the truth. “Wh—what other girl?”

  “Perhaps the girl you were with at the chocolate stand? The girl with the red bonnet? I imagine she must be the ruined girl who appeared to the Waldegraves in search of her husband.”

  John laughed. “Fine, Elyse. Have it your way. But you fell for the title, didn’t you? How else could I ever get your attention? I wanted you, Elyse. I did what I had to in order make you mine. Judge yourself for being so shallow.”

  “The title never mattered to me. It was your words, your lies, that I loved.”

  “That’s rich.”

  I shook my head, choking down my tears. “If you had treated me honestly, everything would have been different. But it was never about that. I was only a prize for you.”

  “A prize? Oh yes, you’re Frostiana, aren’t you, queen of the frozen Thames? Indeed, there was quite a wager as to whether or not I would win your frozen heart and see if you were just as cold between your legs.”

  “Liar. You first saw me at Struthers Theatre at Christmastime. This has nothing to do with the Frost Fair. Why lie now? You know very well that I came to love you. I believed your lies, and I loved you,” I said. The tears I had fought so hard finally choked me.

  He blew air between his lips in an attitude of dismissal, but the tremble of his chin told another story.

  “And you loved me too. Despite the lie,” I added. “In fact, you were trapped by the lie, weren’t you? You fell in love with me, but didn’t know how to tell me the truth.”

  At that, he paused. I was right. He had lied to win me in the first place, and that lie had been motivated out of carnal desire. Perhaps he’d only hoped to win me for the night, but I could see from the expression on his face that it had gone beyond that.

  “Elyse,” he said softly, a guilty expression on his face.

  “Go away. Leave the ice. Even if you did love me, you still played with that other woman. Aside from what happened between us, there is the matter of what you did to the real Lord Waldegrave. Go. Go back to wherever you came from, or I’ll call the Bow Street Runners right now and turn you in.”

  “You wouldn’t do that.”

  “I would. Your lies, including your promise to help Doctor Murray, have left my friend in danger. I trusted you blindly, and my heart will pay for that. But through me, you struck at someone I care about, and I cannot forgive you that. Leave. Now.”

  “You won’t turn me in, will you? They’ll send me to the Tower if they find me.”

  “Leave. Now.”

  “Elyse—”

  “Never speak my name again. Now go.”

  At that, the man I knew as John, turned. He stopped for a moment, looking down at the engagement ring which had fallen to the ice, then turned and walked away.

  I looked down at the glittering piece of jewelry. It lay there, an innocent victim in our feud. After a moment’s hesitation, I scooped it up. It was very pretty, shimmering in the afternoon sun. I sighed. At least I could give it to the real Lord Waldegrave so he could recoup some of his lost fortunes. After all, it was not fair that he—the innocent person in all this mess—be harmed anymore. As much as I never wanted to see the ring again, I slipped it into my pocket then turned once more in the direction of the baron’s ship, my heart completely shattered.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  My hands trembled as I neared the ship. A single gentleman lingered on board. He smoked a pipe and watched as I approached. When I drew close, the man rose and went to the captain’s cabin. A moment later, the baron appeared on the deck. He held the rail tightly, a bit too tightly, as he watched me approach.

  “Miss McKenna?” he called.

  “You wife has taken my friend prisoner. I need your help to get him back.”

  “My…my wife?”

  “Captain Behra. I know about the two of you. Somehow Kai and I have fallen in the middle of whatever marital discord you are experiencing, but I don’t care anything about it. I don’t care that she is angry at you. I don’t care who hurt whom first. I don’t care about anything but Kai. And right now, you are the only one who can help me.”

  The baron grabbed a rope and slid down to the ice, a flourish of fine velvet fabric twirling around him.

  The baron’s man tossed him down his walking stick.

  He straightened his clothes then turned and joined me, the picture of a gentlemanly figure.

  “Let’s walk,” he said, taking my arm. “You…you are right. By chance, Captain Behra and I both found ourselves in port when the Thames froze, trapping us and our problems here. The captain became aware that I admired your performance so sought to punish you by corrupting your friend. I must apologize that you’ve been pulled into this petty disagreement between my wife and me. She struck at you unfairly, and I am ashamed to say I sought to hurt her further when she turned her affections toward your friend. But this has gone too far. Soon the river will thaw. This must come to an end.”

  “They told me she’s going to take Kai with her. I don’t understand. Kai would never leave me like this.”

  “He is under her influence and unable to act of his own accord.”

  “Then you must help me recover him before it’s too late. You must take him from the ship.”

  “I cannot.”

  “Then you have to talk to her, reason with her, lie to her. I don’t care what you need to do, but you need to do it.”

  The baron smiled. “You misunderstood my meaning. I cannot get your friend off the ship, but you can.”

  “Me? How can I possibly do that? Her henchman carried me off the ship by force today.”

  “I have a plan.”

  “A plan?”

  “Your troupe…do you have access to the men’s costumes? Perhaps the cinder girl’s father’s attire?”

  “Men’s costumes? Why?”

  The baron smiled. “Because at dusk, we shall get Doctor Murray off my wife’s ship.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  By the time the baron and I finalized the plan, it was nearly dusk. I he
aded back to the Ice House Theatre where the others were preparing for the final performance of A Midwinter Night’s Dream.

  “Elyse?” Marve said when he saw me approached the tent. “We weren’t expecting you. Hannah is inside preparing for the part of Titania. Should I tell her to—”

  “No. But I need your wagon, and I need one of Robert’s costumes.”

  “My wagon and—what? Elyse, what’s going on?”

  Hearing my voice, Lizzie came out of the tent, half prepared for her role as Hermia.

  “Elyse? What are you doing here?” The expression on her face was a storm of questions. If I was at the Ice House then I wasn’t busy eloping.

  By way of explanation, I shook my head then said, “Change of plans, I’m afraid.”

  “Change of plans? What happened?” Lizzie asked.

  “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Right now, I need your help. Can I have the wagon? I’ll be back with it before the show ends,” I said, turning to Marve.

  “Of course. Elyse, are you in trouble?” Marve asked, his forehead furrowing.

  “I just need the wagon…and the costume.”

  “Certainly,” Marve said.

  Taking Lizzie by the arm, I said, “Will you help me?’

  She nodded.

  With a smile of appreciation to Marve, Lizzie and I turned and headed into the dressing tent.

  “Robert?” I called.

  He stepped out from behind his dressing curtain. He was already ready for the night’s performance. “Elyse? What is it?”

  “I need your matinee costume,” I said as we joined him in his section. “And your beard,” I added, pointing to the hairpiece that sat waiting alongside his stage makeup.

  “My beard? Why?” Robert asked.

  “I am Viola turned Cesario tonight,” I said, referring to Master Shakespeare’s ill-fated heroine who disguised herself as a man to survive in a foreign country in his play Twelfth Night.

  Clearly concerned, Robert frowned but said nothing more. “Very well. Let’s make with the masculine trapping then. Sit,” he added, motioning for me to take a seat.

  A few moments later, Robert got to work applying the sticky resin that would hold the beard onto my face.

  “Elyse, what happened?” Lizzie asked as Robert got the costume ready.

  “John was a liar, no more, no less,” I said. My heart ached, and yet I chided myself. My instincts had been screaming at me from the start that he was not to be trusted, but still, I wanted to believe him. Why? Was he right? Was I so desperate for a title? How had I been so stupidly duped? I felt ridiculous. But John was wrong about one thing, it was not the title I’d wanted. I’d wanted a faerie tale. The love affair had all the usual trappings: poor orphaned girl meets a rich handsome gentleman, rich handsome gentleman sweeps her off her feet, rich handsome gentleman proposes. And then, the happily ever after, right? But nothing really works like that. Not even the real faerie tales. After all, Snow White had to die to find a man who really loved her. I should have known better. I should have trusted the voice inside me that knew John was false. And worse, I should not have left Kai’s fate in the hands of a man I’d loved quickly and foolishly.

  Lizzie sighed. “So many times we are played the fool. When will we ever learn we shouldn’t fall in love with a man we just met?”

  “Such men ruin the name of honest gentlemen. Speaking of which, honest Iago,” Richard said, lifting the beard.

  I nodded.

  Robert worked quickly applying it to my face. After a few moments, he stood back then nodded. “You make a very ugly man, Miss McKenna.”

  In spite of myself, I laughed. Remembering the mirror in my pocket, I pulled it out and looked at my reflection. The beard looked a bit like I’d glued a beaver to my face. He was right, I was a very ugly man. But in the dim twilight, it would do its job.

  “Let me brush your hair back,” Lizzie said. She pulled my hair back into a tight coif like gentlemen sometimes wore.

  Robert handed me the costume then turned to go, but he paused first and said, “Elyse, I don’t know what manner of trouble you’re in, but please be careful.”

  “Thank you,” I said with a soft smile.

  He nodded then left.

  “He’s right, you know. And just where are you going with this manly costume and Marve’s wagon?” Lizzie asked.

  My heart slammed hard in my chest. I didn’t have time to be afraid. I fought off the fear that wanted to overwhelm me. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for Kai.

  “I’m going to save my friend.”

  “Your friend?”

  “Doctor Murray.”

  “Ah, so you’re going to save the man you really love,” Lizzie said.

  I froze in place at her words then looked into the little hand mirror, remembering the fleeting vision I’d seen there the night before. The man I really loved? Was she right? I bit my bottom lip then nodded.

  “Yes,” I whispered, the word seeming like an admission that had come from deep within my heart. “Yes.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Dressed as the cinder girl’s father, my fake beard itching, I drove the wagon toward The Frozen Mermaid. There, one of the baron’s men stood outside waiting. When I first arrived, the man did not recognize me. Only when I signaled to him did he nod in affirmation then went inside. I waited a few moments more. Then the baron and ten of his gentlemen emerged. Upon seeing me, the baron smirked. He tipped the brim of his hat toward me then turned and headed toward Captain Behra’s ship.

  Taking my cue, I clicked to Marve’s mule, then directed the wagon across the ice. As I drove near the captain’s ship, a few of the sailors gave me a hard look. It was the moment of truth. I drove, looking as though I was intent on a destination somewhere further down the ice, and tried to hold my body in a manly posture. Not finding me of interest, the men looked away. I rode into the dark then slowed the wagon.

  “Tia!” I heard the baron yell. I looked back. He and his men stood at the end of the plank. “Tia, come out here.” His voice sounded far sterner than I had ever heard it in the past.

  The sailors on Captain Behra’s ship moved down the plank, their weapons drawn.

  I kept my face shadowed but watched as a very annoyed looking Captain Behra finally appeared on deck.

  “Ill met by moonlight, proud Tia,” the baron called.

  “What, jealous baron? Get hence. You know I’ve forsworn your company.”

  “Perhaps, but would you hear my apology?” the baron called in reply.

  That was my cue. Snapping the reigns, I moved the mule cart in a wide arch that circled back to the far side of the Captain’s ship. I spared just one last glance back.

  Captain Behra smirked. Gripping her sword, she pushed past her men as she made her way down the plank.

  I inhaled deeply and drove the cart to the back of the captain’s ship.

  I listened as the baron and the captain exchanging barbs.

  And I waited.

  The baron would keep his promise.

  Everything would go as planned.

  He owed it to me.

  He would keep his promise.

  A few moments later, there was a cheer from the other side of the ship.

  I waited.

  One of the torches on my side of the ship suddenly went dark. A rope ladder dropped over the rail.

  I looked up to see the smiling face of the boy, Robin, looking down at me. He winked at me then disappeared. I waited a few more moments, listening as the sound of voices faded into the night. It had worked. The captain and her men had joined with the baron’s and were moving away from the ship.

  Hands shaking, I tied off the reins then crawled into the back of the wagon. Taking hold of the rope ladder, I gave it a tug. It seemed to be securely attached. I bit my lip, steeled my nerve, and climbed up. When I reached the rail, I peered on board. There was no one on deck. At the end of the plank, one of the captain’s men stood sentinel.

  Moving quietl
y, I slipped onto the ship. Keeping low, I sneaked toward the door of the captain’s cabin. I carefully lifted the latch and snuck inside. My heart pounded in my chest. The room within was very dim. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the light. Only a few candles lit the space. The heavy scents of alcohol and opium lingered in the air. Plates with pomegranates and other fruits sat half-eaten. Moving quickly, I rushed toward the captain’s bed where Kai lay half unconscious.

  “Kai,” I whispered, rolling him over.

  His shirt was undone. He looked like he’d been sweating, and his skin was very pale. The scents of smoke and drink wafted off of him.

  “Kai,” I said, shaking his shoulder.

  He frowned at that. “Don’t touch me. I told you I do not want you. Stop touching me.”

  My stomach churned hard. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. “For the love of all things holy, Kai. Please, wake up.”

  This time, he opened his eyes. When he looked at me, he frowned. “Captain, the fungi you gave me is having the strangest effect on me. I see Elyse in the face of your sailor. You know, I really must be going soon. She’ll be worried,” he said then closed his eyes once more, chuckling stupidly.

  His words and the terrible condition he was in evoked such a rage in me that I wanted to choke the captain to death.

  “Kai, it’s me. I’m disguised. You need to come with me. Kai, wake up,” I said, shaking him again.

  Kai’s eyes opened momentarily. He studied my face. “Elyse?”

  “It’s me. Now, you need to get up before the captain returns. We need to go. Now.”

  “I feel sick. Elyse, tell Gram to come get me,” he said then closed his eyes once more.

  At that, I grabbed him by the arms and tried to pull him from the bed. He was limp and heavy. I slid his legs to the side of the bed then tried to lift him. It was no use. I tugged hard, trying to lift him, but we both ended up on the floor. I set my head on his chest.

  “Kai. Kai, please. I cannot do this alone,” I whispered. “You are not yourself. You need to leave with me now, or we will never see one another again. We will lose one another forever.” Reaching up, I pulled off my beard and stuck it into my pocket. Everything was in ruins. If I couldn’t get Kai to leave with me, then I would have to stay and face the captain.