Christmas for One: No Greater Love

by Amanda Prowse

  ‘No!’ Lucas was adamant. ‘I made it for your bedroom.’

  ‘Nice try,’ Milly mumbled as she went off to put the kettle on.

  Despite the tiredness that pawed at her late in the afternoon, Meg was determined to observe Christopher’s rule and go to bed when everyone else did. Adrenalin, excitement and the first flush of romance were her fuel for the day. That evening as she watched her son’s tummy rise and fall in sleep she smiled at his chubby baby cheeks and his little fists, closed now on the edge of his blanket and with dimples of fat above each knuckle, yet to flatten and stretch into the hands of a boy. Meg smoothed his hair and blew a final kiss as she closed Lucas’s bedroom door and retreated into the hallway. Then she slumped down on the sofa next to Milly, who looked marvellous in her ageing tiger onesie.

  ‘So come on, let’s have it! And I don’t mean the whole dead-body saga – I don’t want to hear any of those details again.’ Milly grimaced. ‘I mean, what’s really going on? I know you, Meg Hope, and you are up to something.’ She folded her arms across her orange-striped chest.

  Meg sighed, wondering how to begin without the whole thing sounding corny.

  ‘It’s unbelievable, but I met someone.’ She bit her bottom lip.

  ‘I bloody knew it!’ Mills thumped the cushion beside her. ‘You’ve got that vacant, dewy-eyed stare going on. So come on, who and where?’ She twisted herself round so the two of them were facing each other on the wide squidgy sofa.

  Meg lifted her hair and bunched it on top of her head with a covered elastic band. ‘His name is Edd, Edward Kelly. He’s an Irish New Yorker and works for the architects that are overseeing the new shop.’ She closed her eyes and pictured his smile, his face.

  ‘What’s he like?’ Milly leant forward.

  ‘He’s lovely. Funny, spontaneous, thoughtful, kind.’ Meg nodded at the truth of this. ‘He took me to the aquarium and showed me seahorses!’ This, she felt, illustrated exactly what sort of man he was.

  ‘Real seahorses?’ Milly winked.

  ‘Yes, real seahorses! And he knows my seahorse shame.’

  ‘Well if that didn’t put him off, love, you might be on to a winner!’

  ‘He’s really looked after me – even though I don’t need looking after.’

  ‘No, of course not.’ Milly smiled and patted the leg of the girl she would always feel responsible for. ‘What does he look like?’ She was curious, having never seen Meg in this much of a spin over a man, certainly not the lovely but dull Piers Parkinson-Boater who had kept her occupied for the last couple of years.

  Meg looked past her to a space beyond the window. ‘He’s got red hair, auburn.’

  ‘He’s a fellow ginge!’ Milly laughed, tossing her head so her own natural auburn streaks glinted in the lamplight.

  ‘He is. I’ll show you photos tomorrow.’ Meg giggled. ‘Oh God, Mills, he’s lovely, gorgeous!’ She paused, trying to find the right words. ‘We met and it was just like…’ She exhaled, blowing a slight raspberry. ‘He’s…’

  Milly sat up straight, her expression now serious. ‘Bloody hell, girl, look at you, all in a tizz. Do you like him like him?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Meg felt her eyes mist over.

  ‘You don’t know?’

  ‘I mean I do know. Yes, I like him like him. I just don’t know how to say exactly how much I like him without it sounding cheesy or fake.’ She swallowed the lump in her throat. How could she explain the longing she felt for this man whom she had only known for a matter of hours, or the way her mind raced ahead into the future. It sounded ridiculous and rushed, even in her head. ‘He is magic, he’s everything!’

  Milly needed to pursue this further. ‘Did you spend a lot of time with him?’

  Meg nodded. ‘Yes. We did a lot of things – I even met his mum!’ She smiled at the memory of afternoon tea at the Plaza.

  ‘You met his mum?’ Milly repeated. This was really motoring. ‘Did she like you?’

  ‘Hard to say. She was a bit frosty. Wary of me, probably. But I understand that. If Lucas turned up with a girl in tow I think I’d be a bit protective.’ Meg tried to picture her little boy dating and couldn’t.

  ‘You didn’t like her, did you?’ Milly asked.

  ‘It’s not that I didn’t like her…’ Meg bit her nail and wondered how to phrase it. ‘She just…’

  ‘What?’ Milly pushed.

  ‘Okay, I didn’t like her that much, but it was our first meeting and so…’

  ‘Oh my God! You’re defending the battle-axe mother-in-law already! You have got it bad, girl.’

  Meg laughed, remembering the comments Brenda had overheard. ‘I think she was a bit shocked by me, a Brit who was only visiting and seemed to have hijacked her son. He was keen for us to meet. We tried to cram as much as we could into our time together and we did quite well!’ She pictured them strolling around Manhattan, drinking wine, falling into bed and kissing on the top of the Empire State Building. ‘I know it sounds crazy, Mills, but I think he could be the one.’ Meg lifted her shoulders and grinned, looking like a little girl who had been given a wonderful gift.

  ‘And does he feel the same?’

  ‘Yes. He told me he loved me. And I believed him.’ She couldn’t recount this without almost laughing as the happiness bubbled from her.

  ‘And do you love him?’

  Meg looked her friend in the eye and thought about not seeing Edd for a few weeks. Her tears gathered and her heart sank. ‘Yes. Yes, I do.’ The admission left her beaming. It was the first time she had admitted this out loud. She did, she loved him. ‘I don’t know what’s happened to me! I don’t believe in things like this. It’s total crap – only it isn’t!’ She laughed.

  Milly laughed too. They sat as if in shock at the state in which Meg found herself. It was a few minutes before Milly gave voice to the thoughts that spun inside her head.

  ‘So here’s the thing. If he is the one…’ She paused, not wanting to pour cold water on the excitement that sparkled in Meg. ‘… how is it going to work with him being in New York and you being here?’

  Meg lifted her feet and placed them on the sofa cushion until her knees were up under her chin. She covered her hands with the long sleeves of her pyjama top and hugged her shins, staring at the window as though an idea might present itself. ‘I honestly don’t know.’ Her tears came without warning as if the enormity of the barrier that sat between her and Edd suddenly came into view. Meg sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. ‘Sorry, Milly, I think I’m tired.’

  ‘That’ll be it, love. Get yourself off to bed. I’ll stay here in case Lucas wakes up so you can sleep through. You need a good night.’

  ‘Thanks, Mills.’ Meg stood and stretched.

  ‘He sounds very special, Meg, and as we all know, special don’t come along that often. You’ve got to grab it, my girl, and run with it.’

  Meg bent down and hugged the woman who made everything feel better, who had a solution for everything. Although she had to admit that even Milly was going to struggle to build a bridge that spanned nearly three and a half thousand miles.

  *

  Their texts flew back and forth and though it wasn’t the same as being close physically, it certainly kept the flame and enthusiasm burning. Every time her phone buzzed, Meg’s heart flipped and her pulse raced. The reverse was also true: she sometimes forgot about the time difference and would find herself checking the blank screen with a heavy heart and a feeling of loss, when in fact poor Edd was only sleeping and wasn’t guilty of neglect.

  Somehow it was easier for Meg to be open about her emotions, hopes and fears when texting than it had been face to face. She felt like a teenager, asking questions like, Would you like to be a dad? and hiding her head under the duvet as she held her breath, waiting for the reply. When it came, she yelped with happiness. Only if you are the mom. Would Lucas prefer a brother or sister? Or both?

  Her head was full of Edd, which made eating and concentrating dif
ficult. She was, to put it mildly, distracted. It was two days since she had last seen him, two days that felt like months. Meg yawned as she trod the stairs and buttoned up her cardigan, thankful that she didn’t have to venture out onto the streets. Today she was in the Plum office in Curzon Street, where she and Guy would catch up and look at sales figures for the new stores. Meg silently prayed that there were no site visits looming; she didn’t relish jumping on a train and leaving Lucas again, even if it was just for the day.

  She was tired but happy – not nearly as tired as Edd must be, though. Since she’d got home, he had stayed up all hours to talk to her. He had watched her fall asleep via Skype and today had waited up until about 2 a.m. his time so that he could speak to her before she went work. What had he said? ‘Have a nice day, Mary Poppins.’ Then he’d walked the phone around his apartment, showing her the view from the window. It looked snowy and beautiful, with the lights from the surrounding buildings illuminating Greenwich Village. She yearned to be with him, wrapped in his arms. Wondering again how it was she could so desperately miss something that she had only had for such a short time.

  Meg heard the familiar laugh before she walked into the office that nestled behind the bakery kitchen. It was Pru’s deep, throaty chuckle, emitted at regular intervals whenever she and Guy chatted. Meg realised how much she had missed it as she pushed the door open and beamed at her dear friend.

  Pru smiled at the sight of her. Jumping up, she embraced the girl whose life she had saved and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Hello, my lovely.’

  ‘Oh, Pru, you look fab!’ Meg took in her shiny, sleek bob and the high-waisted navy trousers, cream silk blouse and string of pearls that looped down to her waist. Pru at seventy was still one beautiful, classy lady.

  Pru waved her hand to bat away the compliment. ‘Now, I think we need to have some tea, is that right? A little bird tells me you might have some news?’ She sucked in her cheeks, trying to look clueless.

  ‘Was it a little bird? Or a big bird who likes to dress like a tiger or a pirate?’ Meg asked.

  Pru dissolved again into laughter.

  ‘I knew she’d tell you!’ Meg thumped her thigh and laughed, knowing the two cousins would share in her joy.

  Guy threw a chunk of wood from the basket in the hearth into the log burner of the cosy office. The two women took up comfy seats either side of the flickering fire, and Meg filled Pru in on every detail that came to mind about Edward Odhran Kelly; some she repeated for good measure. They sipped at cups of strong tea and bit into warm, spiced Plum Patisserie teacakes that dripped with melted butter.

  When they were full and Pru was fully informed, she sighed and rubbed her forehead. ‘Well, you’ve certainly got it bad, just like Milly said.’

  ‘I have.’

  ‘And you’re sure he feels the same?’

  Meg nodded. ‘He does. We speak all the time and, if anything, our feelings just get stronger and stronger. It’s a bit scary though, Pru; it’s all happening so quickly.’

  ‘Some of the best rides do,’ Pru offered, wisely. ‘So what’s the plan? When are you going to see him again?’ She sipped her tea, fearful of the response. As much as she wanted Meg to be happy, both she and Milly dreaded the thought of her moving to the States; the thought of her taking Lucas to live in New York was enough to send them into a blind panic. Especially so for Milly; that child was the centre of her world.

  Meg shrugged. ‘I don’t honestly know. My home is here; my job, my family.’ Pru knew this meant her. ‘And Lucas is so happy, which has to come first. I know how much you both love him. And Isabel, too.’ Meg thought of Bill’s mother and the lifeline she had been thrown by Lucas’s arrival. ‘But Edd’s life is there – his job, his mum, his baseball…’ She sighed and covered her eyes. ‘Sometimes it feels too big a muddle to sort out.’

  Pru didn’t confess to the relief she felt at hearing that Meg had no immediate plans to jet off to the U S of A. ‘It will all come good in the wash, darling, you’ll see. These things have a funny habit of working out, if they are meant to.’

  ‘Will it, Pru? I really want it to, but when I say it all out loud it sounds complicated and I don’t see how. I just wish I could see him, confirm that it’s real, because it was so perfect. Sometimes I think I might have imagined the whole thing!’

  Pru sat forward and turned to Meg. ‘You know, that’s not a bad idea. Why don’t you go back out, talk things through with him, make a plan and go from there? It can’t be easy conducting this new and exciting love affair via a computer. I remember when I first met Christopher, I couldn’t sleep, waiting to see him again.’ Pru closed her eyes at the memory and with the underside of her thumb twirled the gold band on the third finger of her left hand. The novelty of being someone’s wife had not waned.

  ‘It’s the same for me,’ Meg confirmed. ‘It isn’t easy, but a computer is better than no communication at all. And I don’t see how I can go back. It’s Christmas in less than a fortnight and there’s just too much to do.’

  Pru let this settle. ‘Guy has everything under control here. And what if Lucas came to Barbados with us and you went off to New York? He’s only little and he doesn’t know exactly when Christmas is. You could celebrate with him when we get back. I don’t think he’ll mind or even remember whether he opened his pressies and had a bit of turkey on December the twenty-fifth or at the beginning of January.’

  ‘Oh, I couldn’t. That’d be cheating! And I’d know, even if Lucas didn’t!’ Meg bit her bottom lip.

  Pru stared at the girl who was like a daughter to her. ‘Meg, I love you, you know that. And what I would like more than anything in the world is to know that you and Lucas are tucked up here in Curzon Street, where your lives are steady and out of harm’s way, and where you can keep an eye for me on Mills and Plum’s. You’re an amazing girl.’ Meg smiled to hear this, brimming with love for the Plum cousins. ‘But that’s just me being selfish, fearing change,’ Pru continued. ‘And what I really want more than anything is for you to be happy. Happy is the goal, it has to be.’

  Meg nodded. Happiness. It was what she wanted too. Who didn’t?

  Pru wasn’t done. ‘And if that means you packing up and going to live with some dashing red-haired New York architect who is smart enough to take you to see seahorses, then that’s exactly what you should do. As long as he treats you properly and loves Lucas, then if it’s right for you it will be right for us because you will be happy and that—’

  ‘…is the goal,’ Meg finished.

  ‘Precisely.’ Pru smiled.

  ‘God, it feels a bit premature talking about packing up and going there to live when all we have had is a couple of days together.’

  ‘All the more reason to go back and double-check. Otherwise, how will you know?’ Pru’s voice was soft, reasoning.

  Meg shrugged. ‘I guess I won’t.’

  ‘I tell you what: I’ll get your ticket and it can be your Christmas present!’ Pru clapped.

  ‘I don’t know how I can not see Lucas for Christmas. I just can’t imagine it.’ Meg stared at the glowing embers of the log burner, trying to figure out how to appease the two men in her life who were so very far apart.

  ‘Of course you could take him to New York with you?’ Pru threw this suggestion into the mix.

  Meg considered this and shook her head, rejecting the idea. ‘No, I think it would feel odd and a little forced, like trying to play happily families. I think Edd and I have to be more settled and have more of a plan in place when I introduce them. Don’t you think?’

  ‘It’s not about what I think, darling, it’s about what you think.’

  ‘Oh God, why is nothing ever straightforward? Why didn’t I meet a bloke who lives up the road?’ She sighed.

  Pru smiled, thinking of her own journey and the obstacles that she and Christopher had faced. She was thankful that their deep and unshakeable love had triumphed in the end. ‘Because, Meg, you meet who you are meant to meet and once
that fuse is lit, it’s really out of your control. They say you can’t help who you fall in love with and I think there is some truth in that.’

  ‘So you are saying I’m sunk!’

  ‘Pretty much.’ Pru nodded.

  ‘Do you think Lucas would miss me while he was away?’

  ‘Of course he’d miss you!’ Pru tutted. ‘But in the future, when he’s old enough to understand, he’ll be very glad you sorted yourself out, one way or another. It’s the most important thing, Meg. He’s very much like us in that regard: if you are happy, then so is he.’

  Meg smiled, picturing herself arriving back in New York and falling into Edd’s arms on that wide bed in his tiny, flashy apartment without a hook for a wet coat but in the right district. ‘I’d love to see Edd’s face if I just pitched up. I could call him, couldn’t I? Make out I was in London and then knock on his front door!’ She squealed, imagining his response, scooping her up into his arms and smothering her with kisses.

  ‘It sounds like you’ve made the decision,’ Pru said.

  ‘I think I have.’ Meg smiled. ‘You are right, Pru. Lucas and I can do Christmas when you get back from Barbados and I could leave when you guys do!’ Her cheeks flushed pink with excitement as the idea grew into a possibility.

  Pru’s eyes twinkled. ‘Have you got any plans today?’

  ‘Only working. Guy and I are going through some figures.’

  Pru stood and smoothed her navy trousers with her palms. ‘I think a day out might be in order – go get your glad rags on, girl!’

  11

  Sir Christopher Heritage was Bill’s uncle, the brother of Isabel, Bill’s mother, which made the connections within this little family unit even more intricate. When his Jag pulled off the motorway, Meg knew they were getting close to Mountfield, Isabel’s vast Queen Anne mansion. It was undeniably a beautiful house, boasting the obligatory Aga, boot room, kennel and stables, all set in sweeping grounds; these days, however, it had become a rather grand prison, holding too many memories for Isabel to walk away from and yet also, following the loss of her husband and son, now little more than a shell with the heart ripped from it.