Apotheosis (Song of Sophangence Book 3)

by E. I. McAllistair

  “Why are they so interested?”

  “Besides the fact their supposed virginal High Shamaness has a son who has come to the village? They are now likely torn between their feelings of betrayal, and wondering if you plan to stay here and take your rightful place as a prince.”

  “A prince?!”

  “Did I not tell you? My title of High Shamaness has bestowed the rank of royalty upon us. It was expected it would die with me, but now that you exist that opens up a new realm of possibilities.”

  “Rejoice! You are royalty in two facets of life now!”

  Shut up Hobb! This is too much to deal with right now. I’ll circle back to it later.

  Anaar put the lurking villagers and Hobb out of his mind and stood from his seat. He made his way over to Yatik and offered to help with the preparation. Though she initially refused, he insisted, as it had never been his style to sit idly by while others cook for him. From a young age he had always helped his mother cook.

  “So I don’t mean to be a bother, I am sure talking about him must be painful for you, but even though you have spoken at length about your capture, I still feel as if I know nothing about my father, or his motivations for the horrendous things he did to you. Did he just leave you alone after… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean-”

  Taking a deep breath as she stops her preparations for a moment, “No, I understand. He makes up half of you. You must have questions about him. I will answer what I can. Of all the people in the world, you are one of two who deserve to ask these questions. He did not simply abandon me, he came to talk to me quite frequently when he found I was with child. I believe he wanted me to understand him and his actions.”

  “In that case, I am still unclear about his reasonings for seeking you out in the first place. I get that he received a prophecy leading him to you, but why was he so determined to grasp at more power in the first place?”

  “To understand that, you must understand his situation. I mentioned your father was near invulnerable when he wanted to be. As a Fortifier of his level, something about his cells changed, causing them to break down more slowly. This is why he was so long lived. He was a direct descendent of slaves. He lived much of his life in difficult times.”

  “I see. Typically only Water Affinities are afforded such extensive lifespans, and for them, they were never persecuted so they would have no grudges to bear. For him, he had to live much longer than most people who were treated inhumanely.”

  “This is correct. Thanks to his upbringing, he became a deeply fractured man. As you can no doubt relate, he also struggled with being born with so much power. I cannot say at what point he gained such strength, but it burdened him to be faced with unbridled might, but conversely he was powerless to help his people’s situation.”

  “And he thought Yefferson and I were the key to solving his problems?”

  “Prophecy is a powerful ability. For someone his age its value was even more impactful. He searched decades for me. That meant I had not even been born when he started his search. If there was a convenient solution to his problems, then it was almost impossible for him to pass it by.”

  “If he was so strong himself, why did he not just work to make changes on his own?”

  “Frightening as your father might have been, he was but one man, and the changes that he needed could not be brought about with force alone. At least not the force he had to offer. It is a cruel jest to tell a bootless man to pull himself up by his bootstraps. Though he had the power to crush armies, it did not translate into political power, and it was not enough sheer force to change the world on a global scale.”

  “I get that, but change has to start somewhere right? Maybe he would not see it in his lifetime, but he could plant the seed at least.”

  “That he did indeed. Though he is not officially credited for it, many of your father’s exploits had direct impacts on the shift in the global perspective toward Earth Affinities, and by association Fire Affinities. When he began, his deeds were quite noble.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He freed many people from captivity, used his wealth he had been gathering to assist in relief efforts, and gave inspiration to the people to continue their fight.”

  “Then what changed? You said he was a bad guy right? I mean obviously, I am the result of just one of his actions. If he was so upstanding, why would he turn to a life of crime?”

  “To him, he did not view them as crimes. Sometimes he felt it was as simple as balancing the scales. During the time when I begged and pleaded for my life and for him to let me go, he told me that I should be ashamed that I could not endure what his people had been for centuries.”

  Anaar slammed his hand down on the counter, anger welling up in him that he had not realized was building. “What kind of sick fuck rapes a woman for months and then tells her that it is okay because it has been done to others before her?!”

  “It is like I said, his mind saw his actions as justified. In some ways it was honestly quite impressive, how he could rationalize so much torment to the few for the sake of the many. History has painted countless men who operated under the same mentality quite favorably, calling them heroes. It all depends on who is writing the story.”

  Anaar thought about her words and realized she was right. Since time had begun, the victors in stories were hailed for their efforts, even if they were quite brutal and resulted in massive loss of life. Because they were considered to be on the side of righteousness, their actions were justified in the eyes of history. In reality though, there were very few situations where there was a clear cut good or bad side. The bad side typically ended up being whomever had the misfortune of losing. Such was the privilege of victory.

  As he thought over all the things he had learned thus far, something occurred to him. Yatik mentioned many times his father’s vile acts, and occasion referred to him as a horrible man, but considering all he was responsible for doing to her, she seemed much more accepting of him than he expected. He could not find a delicate way to ask, so he asked his question plainly.

  “Did you love my father?”

  Once again Yatik stopped what she was doing, caught somewhere between contemplation and emotion. When she had regained herself, she answered slowly and carefully.

  “Meysam did unspeakable things to me. Even after all these years, you are the first person I have ever spoken to about it. It is a weight that I have carried with me for two decades. He was ruthless and an affinity elitist. Many people died because they got in his way or was a different attunement. But…”

  “But?! How can there be a ‘but?’”

  “He was also a great man. For as many as he harmed, he helped countless more. Warped though he might have been, he genuinely wanted what was the best for his people. I too wanted that, but according to him, I was unqualified to fulfill the role as someone who lent aid. There is also the fact that even though it was painful, and I am scared physically, emotionally, and psychologically, he gave me something I could have never expected. He gave me two beautiful boys.”

  “You basically have Stockholm’s Syndrome! How can you even begin to forgive him, let alone have any love or respect for him?!”

  “Life is a varied and complicated thing. As such, so is this world we live in. I have seen countless things with these eyes of mine, those that have come to pass, and also have yet to be. Where these things fall in the spectrum of morality is something the world decides after the fact. This knowledge is both a blessing and a curse, as it allows me to understand the innate neutrality of things.”

  Anaar was having a difficult time reconciling the things that he had heard. So much of it was all entirely wrong, so why was he even bothering to question it? It was Yatik’s next words that struck a chord within him that reverberated through every fiber of his being.

  “You have taken lives have you not? To kill is considered a heinous act, unforgivable by most people. How do you go on living with yourself?”

  “I…
I don’t have a choice.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You think I haven’t recognized the danger I pose to the world just by existing? You are right, I have killed thousands of people. There was a time when I told myself that I could not help it so I should be forgiven. Now I don’t think there is such a thing. I don’t get to take the easy way out though. If I die, I just come back. I have to live with all the things I do.”

  “You are correct. You must live with that burden, something many people could not bear. Have you felt any of the lives you have taken deserved it?”

  “Of course! They were trying to harm the people I loved!”

  “People can easily reconcile trading one life for another if it is for love. Have you ever taken a life because of a sense of duty?”

  Anaar thought back on the times he had killed people during his missions, simply because they got in his way. Due to his abilities, he could almost certainly have escaped without killing anyone, or even harming them, but instead he chose the extreme. Why was it so easy to do it when he thought of it for the sake of his job, but when he reflected on it, he felt ashamed?

  “I can tell from your silence you have. Depending on who you ask, you are a hero, a champion of your cause and a shining example to be followed. To others you are a villain, a menace to be destroyed at all costs. Remember these things when looking at your actions and the actions of others. The more you are able to understand both perspectives, the greater your insight will be.”

  “So you are trying to say from the perspective of those my father intended to help with his actions, you would be a necessary sacrifice for the cause and their liberation?”

  “That is only one way to look at it, but yes that could be an interpretation.”

  “How do you live life if you can never be allowed to focus on your own experience?”

  “Everyone has their trials. That is mine. I do not expect you to understand, nor do I expect you to live by my creed. You have your own trials you must face. There is no need to take on those of everyone you meet. If you tried to do that, you would completely lose sense of yourself.”

  For a long time Anaar did not ask any more questions. He simply followed the instructions given to him as he helped prepare their meal. He found himself far more confused than when he began. He had hoped to gain more insight concerning what to do about Yefferson, but it only led to more dead ends. As they finished up and sat to eat, he had come up with more questions that he wanted to ask.

  “Do you think I am in any danger from my father?”

  “There is no doubt you are strong, but you are nowhere near your father’s level, at least not yet. Luckily for you, I doubt there would be any true danger as you could easily escape him if you did encounter him.”

  “You said he was long lived, just how much longer do you expect he will be around?”

  “When I last saw him, he looked to be middle-aged in the best shape of his life. If he continues on the way he has he will surely outlive me. You and your brother are a different story. He should be about 125 years old at this point. Unless he begins to rapidly deteriorate, I would suspect he has at least another century in him.”

  “You also said you were not sure if he was still alive. How would I know I am not passing him on the street?”

  “Your father is a very handsome man, he is very hard to miss. For you though, there is no way you could ever pass him in the street. In fact, you would likely know he is nearby long before you see him.”

  “You mentioned he was so strong it was blinding. If I feel the same resonance with him as I do you, then I suppose you are right about me being able to pick him out long before he ever sees me.”

  “If you do ever come across him, please whatever you do, flee at all costs. Even though you are now men who have had years to develop your own personalities and ideals, one of your father’s greatest traits was his infectious charisma. The way he could bring people over to his cause was almost like mind control. If he ever got his hands on you…”

  “I get it. Begin the apocalypse or something like that. I don’t see myself giving in to his whims and ideals, especially knowing what he has done, but Yefferson on the other hand is a different story…”

  “Yes, that child has had a much more difficult life than I ever wanted for him. I thought I was doing what was best for him at the time, but I was young and foolish. I fear I made a grave mistake in my actions. It does seem he inherently takes after your father, while you take after me. I could only wonder if your positions were switched would things be different.”

  “That is something else I am curious about. How is it my mom didn’t know about Yefferson? If we are identical twins, why did you leave me with my mom, and him to grow up elsewhere?”

  “That is a good question, and with such I suppose I should continue my tale. I think it is time you knew the story of yours and your brother’s birth.”

  36

  The facility I had been held in for so long was a veritable fortress thanks to the extra reinforcements created by Meysam. Because he had the ability to change these defenses at will, we had never expected there would be a way we could escape. Dinu had much more freedom and had been around the compound for much longer than I had, particularly before it was even further fortified to allow me to move about outside my cell.

  Even with the changes to the structure, there was one place she found that had never shifted, and she had begun chiseling her way through it. Meysam only came by infrequently now, usually to restock supplies, so he was unable to see what Dinu had been doing to the portion of the wall he thought would be keeping us contained. We waited until he had left after restocking supplies and made our run for it from the compound. I hated that I could not have been more help, but Dinu insisted that with her stamina and not being pregnant, it was something she could handle.

  Something we did not plan for was how careless Meysam was. He never expected us to ever attempt to escape, so he left the very means for such readily available. Because the house no doubt looked quite strange to anyone who might have come across it, he left two vehicles parked nearby to give the appearance of normalcy. One of the vehicles, an older sedan, even had the keys inside.

  We were completely flabbergasted by such a turn of events, as we had already prepared for the journey on foot to reach safety. Meysam was an intelligent and cunning man, but his arrogance was well known. It was this very arrogance that gave us an additional edge to freedom.

  With a car, we could put much more distance in between us than we had previously expected. Since neither of us had any money, it was a good thing the car had a full tank of gas. We drove away from the prison we had been in for so long, victorious in our escape.

  Because I had no idea where we were, and Dinu herself had been blindfolded as well when she was brought to the place, we had very little information to work with. We set forth on the road with the hope we could get to some place that would allow us to obtain enough money for gas and food to continue our journey. After about half a day on the road we began to worry as the tank was running empty and we had yet to secure a way to continue.

  Though we had been fortunate enough to escape, it would be just our luck there would be a much more pressing issue that required our attention. As we were trying to figure out where we would obtain more money, the unexpected happened: my water broke. The contractions were coming swift and intense, so much that Dinu had to find a small clinic in which to bring me so that we could deliver the baby.

  Though she was capable of delivering the baby on her own, we had left the supplies to do so at the house, not expecting we would need them, and seeing no reason to add additional burdens to our journey. I was in so much pain Dinu could not bear to witness it. We went into the clinic and gave them false names and changed the story, but left enough of it intact that they allowed me treatment.

  It was a difficult delivery, but I was overjoyed to finally see this wonderous child that had come into the world by the way of s
o much pain. In so much confusion between the immense pain that made me almost delirious, and the sudden coming of the child, there was no time to do any initial testing nor setup before the birth. As soon as I was handed the child my heart nearly stopped with shock.

  Even though a month premature, the doctors did not see anything wrong with him, but I did. The small bundle in my arms, crying as he was brought into the world too soon bore an overwhelmingly powerful Fire and Earth attunement only. This confused me because my own prophecy had shown a child with all attunements, and I had felt all four inside of me for months. It was then that I realized there was still the distinct feeling of Air and Water attunements inside of me that was not my own. The reason for my size was not simply because I was having a boy, but because I was having twins.

  There was no way for us to know this information before since we had no medical equipment to do an ultrasound, and from what I felt before, all the attunements swirled together in harmony like one entity. I never got the sense that they could be two different children, which could only mean they were identical. My mind was filled with so many questions that needed answers, but the first thing that I feared was what would happen when the baby’s attunement was tested.

  Meysam had already proven how terrible greed could be in the face of power. Now I held in my arms a child that not only bore two attunements, something never before seen, but had an echelon of over 3, which made him more powerful than most adults you could find. All I wanted to do was have my other child and escape before this information became known, but my body had other plans. I do not know exactly when I lost consciousness, but I felt so weak suddenly that everything became fuzzy and faded to black.

  When I awoke, hours had passed and I was already cleaned up and in a bed. I found Dinu by my side, her presence such a comfort to me until I realized my situation. I immediately began to panic as I thought about what was happening to my child after they found out about his strength and attunements. Furthermore, I found that the other child still rested in my womb, as his signature was much more distinct now that I knew what I was looking for.