After Care

by L. B. Dunbar

  “Tommy loves you, Edie. I know this for a fact. He still loves you, he’s just…he’s just Tommy.”

  Despite a failed marriage, I knew enough about love to know this was not it. Distrust on this level, the lack of defense from me, this wasn’t love. But my heart lied to me, reminding me I still loved him.

  + + +

  “Mom?” I didn’t have time to ponder my lacking love life in great depth as Masie called my name. It was prom night, and my daughter was attending alone. To my surprise, she wasn’t asked, but she didn’t want to miss this tradition. She was actually relieved not to have the pressure of attending with someone on a friends-only basis.

  “I don’t want it to be weird,” she’d said, insinuating that even a male friend might have expectations for prom night hook-ups, another rite of passage for some. I shuddered at the thought of my baby girl giving herself to someone only because of a date for a high school dance.

  As I entered her room, I stared at my beautiful daughter on the verge of womanhood. In every way, her body was already there, but my heart couldn’t reconcile that my little girl was nearly an adult. Through my cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy treatments, and doctor appointments, she’d grown up, but then again, she’d always been on the responsible side.

  Her hands smoothed down her yellow dress, which wasn’t a color I would have guessed her selecting, and yet, she looked like a modern-day Belle from Beauty and the Beast in the slim-fit dress, with her acorn-colored hair piled on her head. A sixty-second thought included if only she had a date to share the festivities, but then pride filled me in her decision to brave the ritual alone. She’d be surrounded by people who adored her, even if one in particular wasn’t her companion for the evening. She had a strong head on her shoulders, despite occasional shenanigans like getting drunk on New Year’s Eve. She was a confident girl blossoming into a driven woman. She knew what she wanted, and she planned to go for it.

  As she spun to examine the back of the dress in her full-length mirror, I couldn’t remember ever being that confident, that headstrong, that ready to take on the world, but if I ever was…one day I suddenly wasn’t. I don’t know when it happened, when I decided to take life so seriously, became too safe. Possibly it was the responsibility I received in having children. Maybe it was the commitment to my lackluster marriage. It had never been my job. A job was financial security, but for me, it wasn’t personal fulfillment. It was simply something I did. The thought brought me full circle to Ivy’s offer. Working with her would include doing something—something for a greater good—and that might make all the difference for me.

  The doorbell rang and Masie looked up at me. “Did Caleb change his mind?”

  We both knew Masie wanted him to see her off tonight, but it just wasn’t possible, as baseball season had officially opened. David was scheduled to arrive an hour ago, and Masie had given up hope. The calling of my name initially meant she was ready to head to Daphne’s for pictures. I swear, prom photography was worse than wedding photos.

  Descending the stairs before Masie, the doorbell rang again. It couldn’t be Caleb, unless he’d forgotten his key. A dark head of hair was the only outline I could make out through the opaque glass of the front door. Opening it, my eyes widened and my mouth hung, his name about to fly out when a finger slipped over his lips to silence me. I stepped back to allow him entrance as the click of Masie’s heels on the hardwood staircase warned us of her descent.

  “Quick,” I whisper-hushed. “In here,” I offered, motioning toward the living room to the left of the staircase. He’d be momentarily hidden until Masie reached the bottom step.

  “Who was it?” she asked, patting at her head, tucking a wayward curl behind her ear and then returning it to hang by her cheek. The smile on my face couldn’t be contained, and I motioned with my eyes toward the living room.

  “Wh…” Masie froze, staring at the handsome young man dressed in a classic cut black tuxedo that made him look older than his years.

  “Masie.” His voice sounded rough, and he cleared it with a fist to his lips before speaking again. “Masie, I wondered if you’d go to prom with me?”

  She hadn’t replied, but the quiver of her lip worried me. “Don’t cry, baby, answer him,” I said, feeling guilty at witnessing his proposal, yet I couldn’t pull myself away. This was a grand gesture. My eyes drifted to the open door, desperately hopeless in my search for another presence, someone to witness this. A royal blue Mustang was the only thing parked before our town home.

  “I’d love to go to prom with you,” Masie said, swiping at a tear threatening to trail down her cheek. Stepping forward, he presented Masie with a wrist corsage of yellow roses, and she looked up at him in additional surprise. “I don’t have anything for you.”

  “I only want you to be my date, Masie. That’s all I need.” My heart clenched at his declaration.

  “I’ll get my camera,” I lied, slipping into the dining room, hidden from their view, allowing them a moment alone. Their conversation continued.

  “I can’t believe you’re here.” Masie paused. “What are you doing here?”

  “I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t know if I could pull it off until the last minute, or I would have warned you.”

  “I’d never need a warning to see you.”

  “I was worried someone else might ask you last minute.” His voice lowered and the dress sole on hardwood told me he stepped forward.

  “No one else asked me,” Masie murmured. The snap of plastic signaled the opening of the corsage from its container. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

  “I didn’t want you to go alone. I hope you don’t mind me crashing?”

  “You can crash me anytime you want, West,” my daughter replied, and my hand covered my heart. Weston Reid crushed it in the romance department.

  19

  Oh, baby

  Masie graduated from high school. Caleb played minor league baseball. And life went on. Months passed without contact from Tommy.

  Summer came, as did Collision’s concert to Chicago. It was mid-July, and Masie would be leaving soon for college. West sent two tickets for Masie and me, but I told her to take Daphne instead. I couldn’t stand the idea of going and knowing Tommy was there somewhere but not wanting to see me.

  I called Ivy on the night of the concert instead.

  “How are you doing, mama?” I teased.

  “I’m as big as a house. I can’t see my feet, and I’m exhausted.”

  I giggled at her misfortune. The joys of pregnancy seemed a lifetime ago. We chatted about the therapy school, the final touches of construction to be completed any day. A grand opening was scheduled for the same weekend Masie moved to Santa Clara in a few weeks. Ivy intentionally scheduled it so I could attend.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I said, thoughts of seeing Tommy making my stomach churn.

  “I want you here, Edie. It’s important to me.”

  We continued to talk about some sponsors Edie received, one being the infamous Nights, whose concert I missed months ago to visit Tommy. Then Ivy groaned.

  “Ivy, you okay?”

  “Jesus,” she moaned. “I don’t know where that came from.” She giggled uncertainly.

  “Everything okay, honey?”

  “Yeah, just a back spasm or something. This baby is laying on my spine. Gage swears it’s a boy trying to spoon me. He’s jealous already of our unborn son, because he knows a little boy will be the love of my life.” She giggled, masking a longing I hadn’t heard before in her voice. Another soft groan filled the phone.

  “Ivy?”

  “It’s nothing,” she grunted, attempting to speak again. “So, anyway, I had a generous donation from the Nights, and an anonymous one from someone affiliated with them as they...shhhiiit…” Ivy hissed.

  “Ivy, are you having contractions?”

  “I don’t think so. It’s a little too early. I’m not due for a few more weeks. Gage promised me he’d be
home for the baby.”

  Sarcasm erupted within me, but I kept it to myself. Gage might be almighty, in his opinion, but he wasn’t a god when it came to due dates. Ivy hoped to make it through the grand opening before giving birth, however, the timing could never be planned perfectly, and the stress of her therapy school, along with the absence of Gage, could induce labor early.

  She moaned again followed by an elongated, “Fuck.”

  “Ivy, you’re freaking me out.” I nervously chuckled.

  “I’m freaking out, too. I think my water just broke,” she said, hysteria filling her voice before she burst into tears with a steady chant of no, no, no, no, no.

  “Is anyone there to help you? I thought Gage hired a sitter-slash-housekeeper to be with you?”

  “He did. I fired her. She was too pretty.” I laughed outright. Ivy wasn’t that shallow, and never acted insecure, but now wasn’t the time to argue about the dismissal of assistance because of her appearance.

  “You need to call 911 and then call Gage.”

  “I’ll never get a hold of him,” Ivy moaned through the phone. “He’s on stage.” Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, Ivy was correct. The concert in Chicago had started twenty minutes ago.

  “Try his assistant?” I offered, not even knowing if he had a personal assistant.

  “That would be Tommy. He’ll be too engaged.”

  “Well, un-engage him. Send a 911 text or something.”

  “Edie,” Ivy laughed my name. “I’ll just call 911.”

  “Okay, right. Okay, good. Keep me posted.” We hung up quickly, and I paced my room, feeling helpless and frustrated that my young friend was all alone having a baby. Gage was estranged from his family. Ivy didn’t have extended family other than the band, and they were all on stage. She should have had her husband present. She should have had her mother there for her. And with that thought, I did the craziest thing I’d ever done.

  + + +

  With a quick text to Masie, I told her I’d lost my mind.

  I’m heading to California. Ivy in labor. Can’t get ahold of Gage.

  I had no idea how I thought I’d help Ivy. It would take hours before I got to California, but I had to do something. Even if Ivy got in touch with Gage, he couldn’t get to her until the show was over, even in the best scenario.

  Texting West. Masie replied. So exciting.

  I didn’t know how texting West would help, but I didn’t scoff. I was already boarding on ridiculous, literally. I entered the plane, saying a swift prayer for safe delivery of both Ivy’s baby and myself to California.

  I arrived at an ungodly hour and raced for an Uber, calling out the name of the hospital. When I entered the registration area, inquiring about Ivy, my adrenaline came to a screeching halt.

  “We don’t have an Ivy Everly admitted, ma’am.” I stared at her, blinking. She had to be here. Where else could she deliver? Dawning came slowly that Ivy could have been taken to any number of other hospitals, but with her status, I assumed she’d be taken to the one she requested. I slammed a hand on the registration desk.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. Are you family?” The question struck me as odd. Why inquire unless…Of course, only family could be admitted.

  “Yes,” I breathed. “I’m her aunt.” The lie didn’t choke me like I thought it might. If I had continued my relationship with Tommy, the possibility could have been real. Could have been. I didn’t ponder the lost possibility.

  “And your name?”

  “Edie Williams.” Without thought, I blurted my own name.

  “Edie Carrigan, actually,” a deep Southern drawl commented from behind me, and I spun to face Tommy. My breath hitched. He should come with a warning. His silvery hair was slicked back, as if endless amounts of fingers had swiped through it. His dark eyes were lit and slightly tired, the tell-tale sign a touch of purple on the undersides. My mouth dropped open, frozen by the sound of my name mixed with his.

  “Edie Carrigan,” he clarified. “I’m Tommy Carrigan. I’m on the list. Hell, I made the list,” he chuckled, winking at the female registrar. His instant charm was a reminder of all I didn’t know about him, and my heart pinched.

  A warm hand came to my back, pressing me forward toward a bank of elevators.

  “Whatcha doing here, darlin’?” The question stumped me, and I answered with the obvious.

  “Ivy’s in labor.” He nodded with another soft chuckle. “How did you get here so quickly?”

  “West. That pansy had me hold his phone, not wanting to miss out on finding Masie in the crowd. It kept vibrating in my back pocket, and I finally pulled it out. I couldn’t unlock the screen but the first few messages told me all I needed to know. I left immediately.”

  Silence wavered between us as we rode up to the maternity ward. Awkward tension filled the lift. Heat radiated off his body, and mine responded with an internal cry of longing.

  “I was sorry to learn you weren’t attending the concert,” he murmured. My head shot up at the comment.

  “I thought it best to let Masie’s friend attend in my place.” He nodded, and the conversation stilled again. The elevator signaled our arrival, and we stepped off. Tommy led the way down the hall, offering our names to a blushing nurse. We followed her directions, and Tommy knocked softly on the door.

  “Hello, baby girl,” he murmured, his voice drifting behind me as he allowed me to enter first.

  “Edie,” Ivy called out, exhaustion filling the sound of my name. With two quick steps, I was at her side, embracing her while she broke into a sob. Hushing her, I stroked over her hair as I held her against my chest. “Shhh, honey. You did good,” I said, taking note of the little bundle, swaddled and sleeping in the clear bassinet on the other side of the bed.

  “Why you cryin’, baby?” Tommy asked, and Ivy shook her head, pulling back from me to swipe at her cheeks. A smile lit her face.

  “I don’t know,” she said, giggling as more tears streamed down her face.

  “It’s all the hormones, sweetheart,” I soothed, rubbing a hand up her arm as she fell back on the pillows. She gave me an understanding look, tears still flooding her eyes as she nodded at me.

  “Ten fingers and ten toes?” Tommy inquired, peering into the bassinet but making no move to pick up the sleeping babe.

  “Everything’s good,” she whispered and a knowing glance passed between the two of them. “Thank you for bringing Edie to me,” she added, addressing her uncle.

  “Oh, baby, Edie and I just ran into each other downstairs.”

  Ivy’s head swung between the two of us. Her brow pinching. “But you—”

  Tommy raised a thick palm and Ivy stopped. He shook his head, hanging it slightly, and a strange unease came over me. Then the baby squeaked. I stepped around Ivy’s bed, getting a closer look at the new babe.

  “Can I get him for you?” I asked, excitement filling my voice at the prospect of holding an infant. Ivy nodded, her lips curled in appreciation. Scooping up the newborn, I nuzzled into his head, rubbing my cheek against his fuzzy hair before pulling back to look at dark blue eyes peeking up at me. “Hello, handsome,” I cooed.

  “He’s just perfect, Ivy.” I stared down at his tiny, squished up nose, minute mouth, and wide eyes. A single tear slipped down her cheek when I glanced up at her, and her smile broadened. Realizing I might have overstepped my bounds, I glanced over at Tommy. He was family. Maybe he should have held the baby first.

  “Want to hold him?” I offered, but he shook his head at the same time Ivy sweetly giggled.

  “Babies aren’t Tommy’s thing,” she mocked, holding out her hands to take her son. Pressing the child into her arms, my body felt lighter, relief washing through me that all was well.

  “You okay, darlin’?” Tommy asked, and I nodded as a tear escaped. I brusquely swiped at my cheek, not trusting words to answer him. A warm hand rubbed up my back, and I shuddered.

  “You’re shivering, darlin’,” he added, his voice tha
t puddle plopping sound that made my belly flutter. I nodded again, unable to respond, afraid any words would open the floodgates of my adrenaline release. His hand continued to stroke up my spine, soothing me as I continued to tremble.

  Suddenly, the door burst open. A harried-looking Gage rushed to his wife, reaching for her cheeks and kissing her in that demanding way I’d seen him use before. Knowing the moment was intimate, I turned away, only my eyes wandered to Tommy, who was watching me. A slow, weak smile curled my lips.

  The baby squeaked again, and we both turned to the kissing couple. Gage pulled back and looked down, as if he’d completely forgotten why his wife was in the hospital.

  “Say hello to Daddy,” Ivy crooned to her son, kissing his forehead before looking up at Gage.

  “Did you decide?” Gage questioned, his eyes hopeful as he gazed at his wife. I glanced back at Tommy, uncertain of the question. Tommy watched his niece with just as much curiosity.

  “Granger Thomas Everly, welcome to the family,” Ivy announced in a hushed tone.

  Tommy gasped, his eyes filling, his hand stilling on my back to clutch at my sweater.

  “Granger?” I questioned.

  “Granger is Gage’s real name, and of course, Thomas, for Tommy,” Ivy explained, a loving expression filled her face as she watched her uncle. I turned to find him swallowing hard before he pinched at his eyes. Without thought, my arm slipped around his waist, and he tugged me into his side, a place I’d missed too much.

  20

  Moments of truth

  “You look dead on your feet,” Tommy commented after I excused myself from Ivy’s room. After a few additional words of congratulations, I decided it was time to give the young couple and their new addition some privacy. Tommy excused himself at the same time and followed me out the door.

  “I’m a little overwhelmed.” I chuckled, swiping fingers through my longer bangs. I’d let the curly Qs and crazy Cs of my hair remain, allowing a stylist to shape them more distinctly and trim my bangs in a way to flatter the waywardness. Tommy’s eyes followed the movement, his mouth opening to speak when I added, “And a whole lot tired.”