See You on the Backlot

by Thomas Nealeigh

  ‘Yeah!’ he yelled at me, waving his hands around. ‘You remember! I can see it! You know that’s what you wanted.’ He stumbles closer, grabbing for my shirt, but I step back, staying out of his reach.

  ‘I’d never have you now,’ he grabs for me again, but misses. He’s close enough that I can smell cheap liquor on him. ‘Just like no one else here would, either.’

  That was when I heard you yelling, greenie. I didn’t even know you were there until I saw you slam into Frank from behind and knock him to the ground. Where did you learn those moves from?

  Anyway, you sure caught him by surprise – he didn’t expect to find himself on the ground, that’s for sure. Of course, he’s a carny, ain’t he? And any carny’s ready for a clem, any time, drunk or not, so he was back up in a flash. You did good, though. Big Mike was telling me he thought you’d go the distance, but I guess when Frank kicked you in the knee and dropped an elbow on your melon, that was it, huh?

  But you slowed him down… slowed him down good. I looked around and saw a lot of people on the midway now, standing close to us. More people than I thought worked at the whole carnival. But, I tell you, there wasn’t a townie there. Or a lawman. Big Mike was the first one to speak.

  ‘Hold on there, Frank,’ I heard him yell. Lots of fat guys, they have soft voices, you know? Not Big Mike. Got a voice bigger than he is, he does.

  So Big Mike’s voice, booming through the midway, brings Frank up short. Instead of taking a kick at you while you were lying there all cold, or swinging on me, he looks around and sees everyone just standing there looking at him. He gets quiet too, you know? Just stands there looking at everyone, because he knows he’s trapped. And the midway is quiet, too. Quiet as I’ve ever heard it. I didn’t think it was possible for anything to be that quiet with all those people standing there.

  That’s when Murphy and Charlie show up. I don’t know how long they’d been there. Long enough to hear what had been said, that’s for sure. The circle of people standing around me and Frank parted just enough to let the two of them through – then close back up. No one was leaving here until this was all settled.

  That’s the carny way of life, you know. There’s a beef? We keep it under our awning, if we can. We settle our own scores – and we look out for each other. Big Mike, it’s his carnival, so he steps up to look over things like he’s a judge in a courtroom. I just didn’t know what he’d say once everything came out in the open.

  ‘Charlie,’ Big Mike asked nice and loud, ‘is everything your boy says true? Has Frank here been after your stake?’

  Charlie didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to. He just looked around at the circle of people until he was looking at Frank, then he looked at me before nodding his head slowly.

  ‘I figured,’ Big Mike said. ‘Now, Frank, what have you got to say about it?’ Frank opened his mouth real quick, like he was going to spout off, but Big Mike interrupts him. ‘Now, I want you to think hard about what you’re about to say, Frank,’ he told him. ‘We’ve had an earful already.’ People around the circle nodded that they had. Some of them just stood with their arms crossed and mean looks on their faces.

  Frank swallowed hard, considering his next words. Finally, he opened his mouth. ‘I may have taken the chump’s money,’ he told the crowd, pointing at Charlie, ‘but it ain’t nothing compared to what he’s done. It’s true, I never seen his wife take that tumble, but I bet he had his hands on her when it happened – and some of you know it, too! He’s lucky that that’s all I did – take money from him.’

  ‘It was an accident!’ Charlie burst out.

  Frank saw an opening and jumped right for it. ‘Seems to me,’ he yelled, ‘that you’re awful quick to speak up about it! You must be feeling awful guilty. Guilty for a reason!’ An angry mutter went through the crowd, but I couldn’t tell whose side they were on.

  ‘Hold on, there,’ Murphy interrupted, calm as can be. He stepped forward so everyone could see him, and put his hand on Charlie’s shoulder. ‘Now you all know me. You know who I am and where I’ve been. I’m telling you that I was there, and Frank was not. Charlie was there, but it was an accident – just like he says.’ Murphy looked around the circle of people, like he was looking into each person’s eyes directly. ‘Most of you also know Charlie. You know his son. You know what kind of man he is.’ He pointed at Frank, saying, ‘And a lot of you know Frank from when he was with the show before. You know what kind of person he is, too.’ He looked at Frank for a moment, before saying, ‘And you know there’s no room for a Chester here.’

  You know what a ‘Chester’ is, don’t you, greenie? It’s short for ‘child molester’. Charlie told me once that townies think every jock, agent and showman on the lot is a drunk, child-molesting ex-con – and while you can’t argue there are certainly drunks here, you won’t find much of the rest. At least, not for long. And especially with Big Mike’s show – he runs a clean show through and through.

  So as soon as Murphy tells everyone what he thinks of Frank, another angry mutter goes through the crowd. This one a lot darker… Everyone knows Murphy, and his word is law here and now, even more so than Big Mike’s. There are always families travelling the circuit, since the joints tend to be family businesses, you know? And even if a Chester knows better than to touch a kid from the lot, no one wants a beef with the law if something happens to a local kid. It only takes once, and the whole show never works again.

  Then Murphy walked over to me and told me to get you off the midway. Frank, he must’ve got a real lucky shot in, because you were still lying there in the dust. Murphy and I got you up and dusted you off, then I shouldered you to get you out. I saw Charlie talking quietly to Big Mike – the two of them gesturing at me. Frank just stood in the centre, giving me the evil eye.

  The crowd opened up just enough for me to get you through. As I went through, I looked up to meet each person in the eye, hoping they could see the truth of what I had said. Some of them wouldn’t look at me, and kept staring towards Frank. Others gave me a quick nod, and a couple of people even put their hands on my shoulder, like they were trying to tell me they understood. As we pushed our way through, they closed in tight behind us like a coffin lid.

  CHAPTER 12

  Hey, there! So did you get everything packed up the way it’s supposed to be? The truck’s in order so it can be unpacked quickly once you’re on the new lot? Are you sure you pulled every dead man?

  Right! Good man. I’m counting on you, OK? I need you to make sure this jump goes well.

  Can you believe it? You start the season as a First of May – green help out on his first circuit – and now here you are, boss canvas man for our show! Well, it’s only our top, and it ain’t that big. But that’s still a big leap. And you’ve earned it. And by earned it, I mean you really do good work… not just that you can hold your own in a clem. You’re not a gilly, son, and you never were. Not from the moment you signed up with us. Lucky for me you’re a good sport, huh?

  Remember – you’re in charge now. Well, I mean Murphy is in charge charge – but you’ve got a few people answering to you now. So don’t let anyone try to send you off looking for the key to the midway, a left-handed monkey wrench or a long weight. Not unless you really just want to take a break from what you’re doing, anyway. I remember one time a few years ago, I guess I was pestering Murphy while he was trying to work, because he sent me off to find the lot owner because we were out of ‘light bulb grease’. Yeah, it was pretty funny. I must have spent an hour looking for the lot owner before I finally told him. Then he told me that Murphy had just sent me on a wild goose chase.

  Later that season, Charlie sent me off for some ‘red light bulb paint’, and I ended up going to the movies! Best afternoon I ever had.

  What? Oh, sure – I think this jump will go fine. What with Murphy in charge and you setting up the joint, it’ll be red dates all the way, my friend!

  Once you’re on the lot and in the air, pay attention to your
orders from Big Mike, OK? He’ll tell you how the lot is running. And look out for when they pull the POP dates – that’s the Pay One Price deal… like Dollar Days. Man, I hate those things. The only way you’ll make the nut on those is to ding the marks as much as possible once they’re on the inside. I’m saying do more than just the blade box and blow-off; do an after-catch. Use a candy pitch, sell them whatever else you need to make a buck, do whatever it takes. But remember what Charlie always says – always leave a chump a dollar for gas.

  Charlie? He’ll be OK. I mean – well, you know. It’s been kind of difficult since we went into the programme. The one that puts us on the wagon. No drinking for either of us. I honestly thought it would be hardest for Charlie – he’s practically been drinking professionally my whole life! I mean, you know, compared with Charlie, I’ve hardly drank at all! You wouldn’t think just…

  I almost said, ‘just a few weeks of drinking’. But I can’t say that. Part of Charlie and my going into the program together is that we have to be truthful… to everyone. With everything that’s been happening, that’s the only way we think we can get our way through this. So, I have to tell you that I’d been sneaking Charlie’s bottles for a while. It was just recently that I’d gone overboard a bit. And when Charlie and I agreed to stop – well, I guess I just didn’t think I’d have any problems. But I was wrong. It’s been a lot harder to give it up than I expected. I guess I didn’t really understand what I wanted. Not really, until we started the programme together. My sponsor and I talk a lot – not just about my wanting a nip now and then – but about what it was like living with Charlie and his drinking. This guy, my sponsor, he’s been telling me about how with some people, needing to drink runs in their families. I’d never thought of that before.

  So it looks like the programme will do us some good, you know. But it’ll be tough, being on the circuit and not drinking. They go together like… um… I don’t know. Maybe they actually don’t, and I’ve just wanted to see it that way.

  Honestly, I’m more worried about how Charlie will do in jail. I mean, I don’t know for sure that he’s going to jail, but we’re both kind of worried about it. More than just the two of us, because I know that Big Mike is worried, and Murphy is worried. You’re probably a little worried, too, huh? But it will all be OK.

  Charlie and I talked a lot about it, you know. When we left the show for that couple of days, it was because he took me to the spot where it happened. To where my mother fell onto the tracks that night. I don’t know what I was expecting, really… old, dark forest and stuff, I suppose. But when we get there, it turns out they’ve built housing developments all over it. The train tracks she fell on aren’t even there any more. Charlie explained everything that happened to me – explained it until he was shaking with sobs again.

  And, for a while, I cried with him…

  Murphy is the one who drove us there. Then the three of us had a sit-down to decide what to do next. Murphy and I both agreed with Charlie that he should turn himself in to the law. It was tough to decide on, but we all agreed that his guilt was killing him and that the only way he was going to get himself together was if he really felt he had confessed everything to someone.

  I guess that night he and Murphy called Big Mike, because the next morning he showed up at the motel we stayed in. Then all four of us walked into the sheriff’s office together and Charlie asked to speak to a detective. I don’t know who this guy was, but he seemed to know all of us. Big Mike told me later that he was the original detective who’d investigated my mother’s accident.

  This detective was pretty sharp. I could see it in his eyes when he looked us over. What’s more, he didn’t look very surprised to see Charlie standing there, saying he needed to talk about my mother’s death. If he was surprised at anything, it was when Pops explained to him who I was. But even then, he kept pretty cool about it, I’ll give him that.

  So this detective, he calls in a couple of other lawmen and they pull Charlie into a room to take a statement from him. I guess Big Mike was there to sort of act as a lawyer for him. I think that’s what he was there for anyway, because he stayed close to Charlie the whole time. Murphy told me to have a seat while some other detectives sat him at a desk to take his statement as a witness.

  I’ve spent my life trying to avoid the police, you know – and now here I was, sitting in the middle of Johnny Law’s house, trying to look inconspicuous. But the people at the station were OK to me. Someone brought me a soda and put me in a waiting room with a couch so I could be comfortable while I waited.

  Not sure how long I was there before the sharp detective came to find me. He walked in and shut the door behind him so it was just the two of us. I was kind of scared, then. I mean, I was afraid I’d say the wrong thing and make it worse for Charlie or something. Maybe get Murphy and Big Mike in trouble, too. So I just kind of looked at him while he pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me.

  ‘So you’re Tony, huh?’ he asked me, patting his pockets like he was looking for a cigarette… then stops and looks frustrated for a moment when he can’t find any. ‘You were a lot smaller when we met twelve years ago.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘I grew up.’ I wasn’t trying to be a smartass or anything… it just kind of slipped. I felt lucky when he smiled a little bit at what I’d said.

  ‘Got a son, myself,’ he told me, friendly-like, ‘about your age. Thinks he knows everything, too.’

  I’m not interested in games with him, so the next thing out of my mouth is, ‘What’s going to happen to Charlie?’

  This detective, he sighs and leans forward so his face is up close to mine. ‘You’re a lot more hard-boiled than my boy is, Tony,’ he said to me, quiet and serious. I can see from the look in his eye he’s wishing he had a cigarette. ‘I’ll get right to it, then. Your father will probably be OK. When he told us he wasn’t there, when I originally investigated your mother’s death, well… that didn’t seem to add up. But he says it was an accident, and the evidence pretty much backs him up. What he just told me answers some questions I had.’

  He sat back, then, loosening his tie and running his hand through his hair. ‘It doesn’t hurt that that guy Murphy backed up Charlie’s version exactly, and offered to be a witness. Between him and the guy who runs the carnival…’ He let his voice fade, leaving his sentence unfinished. ‘There will be a formal investigation,’ he said after a moment, looking closely at me, ‘and that may end up in a court hearing or some such. We’ll just have to see. The case has been listed as unsolved, and I really never thought it was a murder – but this may help us to close it finally.’

  I felt a huge relief, like a big weight was off my shoulders, when the detective said it was probably taken care of. But I stopped breathing for a moment when he said the word ‘murder’. Probably wasn’t until that moment that it occurred to me just how serious this whole thing could have become.

  After a moment, the detective leaned in to me again. ‘Tony,’ he started, ‘there’s something else.’ I looked at him nice and calm, wondering what he wanted.

  ‘I want to know what happened to Frank,’ he said to me.

  Well, you could have knocked me over right then, let me tell you. If there was something I didn’t expect, this was it. ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ I told him, looking him in the eyes and trying to be cool.

  He looked directly into my eyes, before continuing. ‘Yeah?’ he said. ‘See, your father mentioned that an old crew member, Frank, had been threatening him. That’s why he came forward. Guilt and that kind of thing.’ The detective rubbed his chin, thoughtfully, like he was waiting to see how I’d react. ‘But now, no one seems to know where this guy is. Not your father. Neither of the other guys. In fact, while you’ve all been here, we had the State Troopers go and enquire at your carnival. No one seems to know anything.’ He was looking at me hard when he asked, ‘You know where this guy is, Tony?’

  Well I mean, I don’t know what happened to Frank.
How could I? After I pulled you off the midway to clean you up, I don’t know what happened. I didn’t hear anything else about it, and didn’t see him again. Even when I asked Murphy about it later, all he would say is that Frank was ‘taken care of’. So I tell the detective the entire story about my face-off with Frank on the midway, answering his questions when he has them, then I finish it by telling him, ‘I figured the lot gave him the DQ.’

  ‘DQ?’ he asked me, a little rough. ‘What’s a DQ?’

  I shrug and told him, ‘It means we kick him off the lot. Out of the carnival. For good. I think it’s short for disqualified or something… that’s what Murphy told me. Anyway, when a yokel gets rowdy, or we find a carny who’s been causing problems, he gets the old DQ. Do you know what I mean?’

  This detective, he looks into my eyes, right? Like he can see into my soul or something to see if I’m telling the truth. But what can I do? I just keep looking at him… willing him to believe what I’m saying, because I don’t know what else I can say.

  Then I guess he did believe me, because he runs his hand through his hair again and stands up, straightening his suit. ‘OK. OK, I got it,’ he said. Then he turns to me before he heads out the door. ‘Look, Tony,’ he said, ‘you’re not in any trouble. And your father isn’t a suspect or anything. We’re not going to put him in jail or anything at this point. But he has to stay in town until we finish our investigation. Now, I talked it over with the carnival owner – he’s willing to take responsibility for you, with your father’s permission, if you want to head out. It’s your choice.’

  I sat for a moment, thinking about it. ‘What would you do?’ I asked him.

  He stopped in the doorway for a moment, then he told me, ‘I know I’d want my son to be with me, if I was in a position like his.’ Then he left me there.