Love Disorder

by Yuriko Hime

  Carter drummed his fingers on the table. He was eager to start a conversation. "Ri," he said. "I've heard from Bianca that you're working on a project together. At least she and Uno are. How is the experience for you so far?"

  I was careful not to let my mask slip off. It was hard considering I remembered how the knife grazed my skin and how painful it was. "It's okay," I lied. "I'm having fun learning everything I can. It's also surprising how much preparation goes into a single film. As viewers, all we do is sit there and sometimes criticize. But enough about me." I turned to them. "How are you guys doing?"

  "We're great," Bianca said before Carter could speak. "Babe and I have been dating for a month." She took his hand on the table and squeezed.

  "I see. Any special reason why you happen to be dating my best friend when there are literally a million other boys who'd like to try?" I put emphasis on the word my.

  She shrugged innocently. "If you consider his sweetness, cuteness, and quirk the special reason, then maybe that's why. You shouldn't ask this kind of question," she said with a smile. "Not only is it insulting for your best friend because you seem to doubt his abilities, it also makes you come across as jealous."

  "I beg your pardon?" I whispered.

  "Okay, this is not how I imagined the day to be," Carter said. Growing up with many female sisters, he knew when a tension was brewing. He glanced at me. "Riri, my babe is genuine. I swear. Us dating has nothing to do with you or whatever you're thinking about." He turned to Bianca. "And babe, Ri is more than my best friend. She's my sister. I think she's asking those questions because she's concerned about me. Right Riri?"

  "Right," I said without breaking stride.

  "Are we clear on that?" he asked Bianca. Carter brushed his thumb on her hand. Eventually, she nodded and gave him a smile. "Good," he said in a relieved tone. "As long as we understand each other." He clapped his hand together and stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom. I had one too many milk tea today."

  "You're a liar," I said to Bianca as soon as he was gone. "I can see right through you. You don't love him."

  She twirled her long locks. "You're sure of that because?" She cocked an eyebrow smugly. "You have no idea what I'm thinking of, do you? You're as pathetic as your talent." She shook her head. "All your skills are wasted on Uno. You should have come with me."

  "That's your reason for dating my best friend then," I accused. "Because you think you can get back at me through him. I hate to tell you this, but I'm snitching."

  "Not if I can help it," she said. Her tone became more threatening. It matched the gleam in her eyes and the smirk on her lips that I wanted to wipe away badly with the tissue on the table. She noticed my arm. "Is that what I think it is?" Bianca grabbed at the bandaged area before I moved it away. "I'm so sorry for this by the way," she said, not looking sorry at all. My irritation flared.

  "Something's wrong with you," I said.

  "No, something is wrong with your talent. And clearly something is wrong with you too if you don't want to be employed by me." She squeezed my arm.

  I winced. Her nails were digging on my wound. "You're hurting me," I said. "Let go."

  "Reality bites isn't it?" she said happily.

  Someone forcefully yanked Bianca's hand away from my arm. "She said to let her go didn't she?" Uno said. I glanced at her, wondering for a brief second how she got in. "The lock was broken," she said to answer my unspoken question. "Luckily, my meeting was canceled so I was able to come back here." She took a step towards Bianca. Though Uno was eerily calm, her eyes were frightening enough to make Bianca jerk back on her seat. The action made her lose her balance. The chair toppled backward, taking Bianca with it.

  The crashing sound, coupled with Bianca's yelp, sent Carter running back from the bathroom. He looked at the scene with wide eyes. "What's happening, and why are you here?" he asked Uno. "Bianca," he said to the snake, and ran to her side to help her. Bianca's lips trembled as Carter knelt beside her. It was all an act- the shaking, the teary eyes, everything. The problem was Carter was the only one who didn't see it.

  "She pushed me," Bianca said to Carter, pointing in Uno's direction. "I just wanted to see Riri's bandage because I was concerned for her. But then Uno barged in and pushed me."

  "She did not!" I said in Uno's defense. I didn't mean to, but my voice came out louder than intended. This woman really had a way of making me feel irritated. "Bianca grabbed my arm and tried to hurt me," I explained in what I hoped was a calmer tone.

  Bianca buried her face on Carter's chest. "You know me Cart. I would never do that."

  "Carter," I said to my best friend. "Your girlfriend has lost it. This is why I don't like her."

  Carter gasped and turned to me. "Get out," he said seriously.

  "What?"

  "I said get out Riri. Take your stupid girlfriend with you."

  "Don't push it Leandro," I warned. "You can insult me all you want, but Uno is an exception. I love her, so you need to respect her."

  He stood up angrily. "You think Bianca doesn't deserve your respect?! I love her too." He clenched his teeth and looked away. "Leave. Now."

  Uno pulled me up to her side. "We heard you the first time," she said. My heart felt like a shattered glass as we walked away from the two. Carter was supposed to be my brother. Nothing should ever come between us right? I glanced back to them before we shut the door behind us. Bianca had her arm wrapped around him tightly.

  Chapter 27. Problems

  Everything wasn't fine in Riri land. First dilemma, Carter and I weren't on speaking terms. My calls would automatically go to his voicemail. The recorded message was somewhere along the lines of, "If I'm not answering my phone, it means I'm studying, sleeping, working, or you're someone I don't want to talk to." Ouch. Talk about grudges. I was more than willing to reason with him about Bianca, but as it was, he didn't want to speak to me. Going to their shop would be a waste of time.

  Second and most important dilemma was Uno. Well she and Blaze really. Their condition has evolved. If they used to switch their personalities for days at a time, that has long gone now. In fact, they could change several instances a day that it left me confused to who I was talking with. Sometimes I'd be drinking coffee with Uno, and the next thing I know, she'd spit it out because she transformed into Blaze.

  Though they showed signs that they were about to switch into a different personality- such as changes in posture, facial expression, and elevated temperature and heartbeat like Doctor Sanders warned me about, I wasn't always looking at Blaze or Uno to know when exactly they would change. Sometimes the change would occur when they were bathing, practicing, or when I was busy in the workshop.

  I could take those. I had to because I loved them. What I couldn't take was the jealousy. Sometimes Blaze would kiss me on the forehead, then bam! Uno would come out and glare at me like I was the most sinful person alive. Yesterday, I was whispering how beautiful Uno was against her ears. When she leaned back, Blaze was pouting and told me that I was a cheater for thinking Uno was prettier than her. Doctor Sanders said that it was normal for the personalities to feel angry or doubtful at me. It was my job to appease both Blaze and Uno, and assure them that I loved them both equally.

  Life with them, however crazy it was, wasn't that bad. There were great days too. When we weren't in the studio for the blocking rehearsals, we were usually at home. I liked it when they were sweet. I loved it when they weren't jealous. Today was one of those days. We were lounging in the living room, having a rest time away from Hollywood and all the chaos.

  I tossed my phone on the sofa. Carter didn't pick up again. How long would he keep this grudge? "I take it that it's a no from him," Uno said. She knew what has been happening. What good was a girlfriend if you couldn't tell her your problems? She moved closer when I sighed. Uno has just taken a shower. The smell of her shampoo plus her own scent lingered in the air. After I inhaled appreciatively, I was back to frowning at my phone. />
  "Alexander Alekhine, a chess grandmaster, once said that Psychology is the most important factor in chess," she said. "Before you stare at me like I'm not making any sense and wonder what this has to do with your best friend, let me say my piece first." I covered my mouth and smiled. Uno's attempt at making me happy always involved sayings, theories, and geeky words. I found it extremely hot coming from her.

  "Let's hear it," I said.

  She nodded and said, "Life is a game of chess. Ditto with your problem with Carter. Instead of being agitated at what he's doing to you, it will be better to understand the reasoning behind it. He loves Bianca. He thinks we're oppressing his girlfriend. If I were in his shoes, I'd be mad at you too. But of course I know the truth and I'm not Carter. That should at least make you understand where he's coming from."

  "Are you angry at Bianca then, you know, since you're not Carter and all?"

  Uno glanced away. I caught the subtle twitch of her lips, the discreet movement of her eyebrow, and the flash in her eyes. There was something going on behind that brainy head of hers. "Mad is an understatement," she said quietly, almost to herself. "I am enraged to the point of madness."

  I touched her hand. "We've talked about this," I said in a soothing tone. "You have to control yourself. It's not good for your condition."

  "I'm not dying of a disease," she said, turning her gaze back to me.

  "Yeah, but the more you stress yourself, the harder it is to control your anxiety levels. I don't want you to get panic attacks again." I pulled her head to me. She didn't stiffen. Over the days, it has become easier for me to hold her. "Don't worry about Bianca and my problem with Carter. I'm sorry I brought it up in the first place."

  She snuggled on my chest. Blaze wasn't the only baby in this relationship. Uno had her moments too. "You smell good," she said, inhaling.

  "Look who's talking."

  Her hand traveled to my back. I glanced down and caught her looking at me. Slowly, deliberately, she cupped her mouth around my chest. I didn't stop her when she began moving her lips. Though I was fully clothed, the sensation made its way downward. I shivered. "That feels so good," I said, closing my eyes.

  She lay me down and continued. Her hand breeched inside my t-shirt and fumbled through my bra. "Please continue," I said huskily. All the thoughts that worried me vanished like a vapor. There was only the feeling of want for her.

  "What are you doing?" she suddenly asked. I opened my eyes and found her looking confused. Based on her expression, something happened that I didn't quite catch. Annoyance flitted on her face as she removed her hand under my shirt and sat up. I took a couple of deep breaths before straightening on the chair. My heart was still racing. Damn it.

  I reached to stroke her hair. "It's okay," I said gently. "You can tell me what happened." What happened was I was more than ready to do it, and she stopped. That was what happened. I squeezed my legs together, feeling the dampness between. Patience Riri. I counted slowly to ten in my head.

  Uno stared at the floor like she was thinking deeply about something. "Sorry," she said guiltily. "I thought I was in control, but then." She ran her hand through her hair. "I think Blaze took over. I just. . . I'm very confused." She looked stiffer than ever as she stood from the sofa. Without looking at me she said, "Excuse me." I buried my face on the nearby pillow and groaned. My fate was decided. I would die a virgin.

  I had to leave the house after that. The cold shower didn't do a thing to relieve me. If I stayed in and see Uno, I'd probably jump her. Doctor Sanders and all the books I've read said that it was a normal reaction for someone in love. It was a normal reaction of the body, period. Problem was I couldn't do it with either Blaze or Uno without both their go-signal. And if I end up doing it with one first, God knows how the other would react.

  I drove aimlessly in the Jeep. Rest day my foot. I couldn't even rest in the house without being sexually frustrated. I laughed loudly to myself while waiting in front of the traffic lights. I have officially lost it. Shrugging, I placed my mobile on my lap and wore my headset. Carter's automatic message sounded after I dialed his number. I waited for the beep and said, "Why don't you talk to me? I'm your best friend. Who is more important, me who you've known for half of your life, or the girl you just met months ago?"

  "What's your problem?" he said from the other line. I didn't realize that he answered already. The traffic light turned green. I stepped on the gas before responding.

  "You keep ignoring my calls," I accused. "What happened to we'll be friends forever, huh? You've abandoned ship since you met Bianca." Just saying her name left a bad taste in my mouth.

  "I didn't abandon ship," he said. "You did. It's obvious that you're taking Uno's side."

  I glanced at my phone grudgingly before speaking again. "That's because your girlfriend is out of line. When did I ever lie to you? Bianca on the other hand is acting through her teeth. I promise you that there's something wrong with that person."

  "That person you're talking about is my girlfriend," he said hotly.

  Uno's reminder from earlier about chess jogged in my memory. I was approaching the subject wrong. "Carter," I said in a lower voice. "We should meet and talk alone. Nothing will be solved if we act like children. Do you agree?" I made a left turn signal while waiting for him to answer. "I'll swing by the milk tea shop. Maybe we can talk in our usual place and sort this out. What do you say?"

  He exhaled loudly. "Only if you agree that Bianca is none of the things that you've been texting me." Aside from leaving messages on his inbox, I also texted him the full details of how and why I thought Bianca was a nut, starting from how she hurt me with the knife.

  "I can't lie," I whined. "Especially to you."

  "Then there's no deal." A flushing sound filled the background. "I had to go inside the restroom to talk to you," he explained. "She's here in the shop. Unless you're ready to accept her as my girlfriend, we won't be talking anytime soon." I heard a door open. "Bye Ri." I gritted my teeth as the call ended. The stubborn and unemotional one between us has always been me. Then Bianca happened to him. I took a hard turn to the left and stepped on the gas. If he didn't want to talk nicely, I'd just have to do things my way.

  As I turned the corner to the street where Carter's shop was, I was greeted with the sight of Bianca getting out of the door. Though she was wearing a veil over her head and shades, her posture was a giveaway. She got into her red sports car as my Jeep approached. I was faced with two options. Either I talk to Carter now while she was gone, or I do what every stalkerish best friend would do, follow and catch the dirty on her.

  I was careful to stay back so she wouldn't notice me while we traveled. Based from the spy movies I've watched, two cars between us was relatively safe. She took twist and turns, but I was able to catch up with her. Compared to my driving, Bianca was a jerky type of driver. She'd hit the brakes a little bit too hard on the stoplight. Nevertheless, she never stopped at any establishments.

  I've been following her for a solid thirty minutes when she drove on a side street. Interesting. Was she meeting another boy? I smiled like a Cheshire cat. If she was, I'd record everything on video and slap it on Carter's face. It was a really bad thing to do, but seeing that his girl was a bigger psycho than mine could ever be, I was doing him a favor.

  I slowed the car and pulled to a stop. She'd notice me if I go on the side street with her. Better wait on the Jeep and watch from inside. Bianca was alone in the alley. She got down from her car and called someone on her phone. I pressed my nose on the window, trying to see better. After a while, a back door opened. A big guy with a greasy hair came out. How shady. He was even wearing a leather jacket. I fumbled for my phone. I should have set it up earlier.

  Bianca and the guy didn't talk at all. The guy passed something small to her that I couldn't make out. That was all they did before Bianca walked briskly to her car again. That wouldn't be enough to convince Carter, I thought in dismay. He'd say that I was jumping to conclusio
ns.

  I had a gut feeling about this though. Mom would say when she was alive, "If you find yourself doubtful of someone, always follow your instinct. People will betray you, but your instinct won't." At present, my instinct warned me that something fishy was going on. I had to find out what.

  Bianca's next stop was an expensive restaurant with a French sounding name. I snorted as she hurried from her car to the glass doors. How could she have thought that she wouldn't be mobbed there? She was a high profile person for crying out loud. Uno and Blaze would have disapproved at her actions.

  Well, well, I thought as she was flanked by the restaurant staff when she entered. I saw it clearly through the big glass windows. It seemed that Bianca was a regular there. They had a modus when she'd visit so she wouldn't be bothered. My stomach grumbled at the thought of food. "Cooperate with me," I said, patting my tummy. "I'll feed you anything you want later."

  Back to Bianca, she was gutsy enough to sit by the window. Thinking about it, if the food there really was expensive, the other customers wouldn't bother her because they'd be busy enjoying. I disregard my aching tummy to observe her from the car. It wasn't ten minutes yet when a woman in her mid-forties joined her on the table. Must have been a friend or something.

  Eating, laughing, enjoying. That was what they did in there. When they finally finished their meal, the two bade farewell to each other. Bianca went to her car. She popped something in her mouth before she started the vehicle and left. "Good for you," I said as I followed behind her again. "Fatten up the child before the witch eats her." Gosh, I must really be hungry.

  Her next stops were the coffee shop, spa, and a boutique. Nothing was wrong with that. Girls needed their rest and relaxation, especially a pompous, self-absorbed person like her right? While I didn't find that out of the norm, and there was certainly no hot celebrity dude to meet her, I did notice something unusual. She has been popping something in her mouth from time to time in small amounts. At first, I thought it was candy, but like I said, my instinct told me otherwise.