by E. L. Todd
All hope left his face, and rage quickly replaced it. “I thought you were my friend…”
“I am your friend.”
“Friends don’t do that to each other. I’m telling you what I want, but you won’t give it to me.”
“I’m trying to look after you.”
“Well, don’t,” he snapped. “If you put me in a foster home, I’m just going to run away.”
“Clay, someone could adopt you.”
“Are you kidding me?” he yelled. “No one is going to adopt a sixteen-year-old misfit. Let’s not play fairytale, all right? I’m going to sleep in a room with thirty other kids, with a curfew and shit, and those kids are going to be worse than my dad. At least where I’m at now, I have the freedom to do things. If I’m locked up, I’ll be a prisoner. Don’t rat me out. If I’d known you would do this, I never would have come here. I trusted you, and now I feel stupid.”
My heart ached in the most painful way. “Clay, you can trust me.”
“No, I can’t. I’m asking you to help me and you won’t.”
“I am helping you.”
“Then let it go. I’d gladly take a bruise once in a while over ending up in a place like that.” He stayed in front of the door, but the fight was no longer in him. He stared at me with contempt, like he hated me more than the man who abused him.
And that hurt.
There was no right answer, and everything was in shades of gray. But the way Clay glared at me with hatred was the most difficult of all. It didn’t matter if he liked me, but I wanted him to trust me. And if I did this, I suspected our relationship would be over.
Clay looked away, unable to stare at me anymore.
Unsure what else to do, I gave in. “Okay.”
He looked back at me, one of his eyebrows raised.
“I won’t say anything. But are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes.” He said it without hesitation. “I’m never home anyway. These fights only happen once in a while. In sixteen months, I’ll be out of the house and living somewhere else. I’ve dealt with it my whole life. I can deal with it a little longer.”
How would I be able to sleep at night not knowing if he was okay? How would I be able to forgive myself if something happened to him? “I’m here if you need anything. If things get bad, just leave and call me. I’ll come get you wherever you are. I’m here—always.”
“I know, Volt.” Now that he got his way, he relaxed and gave me that same look I was used to. The fondness returned, and he was at ease. “I appreciate you caring about me. Really. Most people don’t.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is,” he said. “And that’s okay since I have at least one person who does.”
***
I had an address and a face.
I knew exactly what I was looking for.
It was three in the morning when I made my move. He headed down the street in a dark blue hoodie with his hands in his pockets. He was unnaturally thin, reminding me of Clay in more ways than he should.
He turned the corner and walked down a dark alleyway between a Chinese restaurant and a laundromat. A man was sitting there in a dark leather jacket. Both of his hands were in his pockets, and he didn’t look my way.
Silently, Clay’s father pulled out the cash and handed it over. In exchange, he got a small plastic bag wrapped up tightly. He shoved it into his pocket so quickly I couldn’t see what it was.
The dealer turned the opposite direction and walked up the alleyway, counting the cash that he’d just received.
When Clay’s father turned around, he didn’t look at me, dismissing me for another outcast. His hands were shoved firmly into his pockets, and his hood was pulled over his head.
Just looking at him made me sick. I hated this man even though we’d never met, and killing him was all I could think about. I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and choke him until he couldn’t breathe. I wanted to break both of his arms so he could never lay a hand on Clay again.
I wanted to do so much worse.
Just before he left the alleyway, I made my move.
I snatched him by the back of the sweater and yanked him to the ground, forcing him to his back on the slick concrete. A streetlight was forty feet away, but the Chinese restaurant blocked most of the light. Visibility was poor, and he would never get a good look at my face.
“What the fuck, asshole?” He rolled to his feet quickly. “Get your own.”
I snatched him again then threw him against the wall. The air left his lungs once he smacked into the concrete. His arms were twigs, and his lack of muscle made him pathetically weak. When he tried to push me off, it felt like a child pushing me.
I slugged him hard in the face, hitting him right in the eye. I got so much gratification from scarring him the way he scarred Clay. This man needed to suffer forever. I would never let him forget this night. I would never let him think he could touch Clay again.
I wailed on him, slamming my fist into his face and then his stomach. I bruised most of his skin, making him weak from the pain and loss of blood. I beat him to within mere inches of his life, making him sway like he was boneless.
I dropped him to the ground and leaned over him, my hood covering my face. Even if he knew what I looked like, he would have no way of finding me. But it was better to be safe than sorry.
His face was bloody and his eyes were swollen shut. Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and rolled down his cheek. When he coughed, disgusting shit came up.
“Listen to me.” I grabbed him by the throat and squeezed. “Touch Clay again and this will end quite differently.”
He groaned then released a painful cough.
“Do you understand me?”
“Yes…yes.”
I squeezed him tighter. “Touch a single hair on his head, and I’ll end you. You got it?”
His breathing grew deep and raspy. “Who are you?”
I punched him in the face harder than ever.
“Fuck.” He tried to grab his nose, but I stepped on his hand.
“If you hurt him, I’ll know about it. You threaten him, I’ll know about it. Do anything to that kid, utter a single word about this, and I’ll hunt you down again and do something far worse.”
He fought to breathe but my hold on him was too tight. He gasped for air that he couldn’t reach.
“Do we have an understanding?” I wasn’t leaving until I had confirmation that Clay wouldn’t pay for this. That he would be untouched after my actions.
“Yes,” he gasped.
I squeezed him harder, choking him out. “Are you sure?”
Now he could hardly speak. He moved his mouth but nothing came out. “Yes…”
I finally released my hold on his throat. He was beaten bloody, and those bruises and cuts would take weeks to heal. Every time he looked in the mirror, he would have a reminder of what happened tonight.
And he wouldn’t even think of touching Clay.
Chapter Ten
Taylor
I was meeting Sage and his friends for a birthday dinner, and I was a little nervous about the evening. There would be a lot of new people I’d never met, and I’d probably be interrogated the whole time.
But Volt interrogated all my men, so this was fair.
I walked down the street with his gift tucked under my arm. It was the baseball tickets wrapped in navy blue wrapping paper. I made him a special card by hand, decorating it to make the gift more personal.
I was just around the corner when my phone started to ring.
Volt was calling me.
Now wasn’t the best time for a chat, but I couldn’t ignore his call. It went against everything my body wanted, so I swiped the call button before I held it to my ear. “Heeey. Whatcha doing?” We hadn’t spoken in nearly a week, and it always felt strange when we had periods of silence.
He was silent.
“Volt?” I thought I could hear him breathing.
&nb
sp; He still didn’t say anything.
I stopped walking altogether even though I was right in front of the restaurant. “Volt, are you there?”
When his voice came through the line, it sounded broken—beyond repair. “Hey.”
I knew there was something seriously wrong. Not just a little wrong—but extremely. Volt had hit rock bottom. But how he got there was a mystery. “What is it? Are you okay?”
“I need you to come to my apartment.”
He never commanded me to do things. He usually asked. “I can be there in ten minutes.”
“Thank you.” He hung up immediately, like staying on the line for a second more was too much for him to handle.
I heard the line go dead, and I slowly lowered the phone. My heart was beating hard, and I felt sick to my stomach. Something was wrong with Volt, and I was pretty sure his heart was broken.
“Hey.” Sage approached from the entryway of the restaurant. “Perfect timing. I already have a glass of wine for you.”
I forgot about Sage’s birthday altogether once I spoke to Volt. Now it seemed insignificant. “Uh…”
“Something wrong?” He spotted the shocked look on my face. “What is it?”
“I’m so sorry, Sage. But I have to go.”
“You have to go?” he asked. “But you’re already here.”
“I know, I’m so sorry. But I have to go to Volt. I’ll try to come back as soon as I can.”
His face contorted from disappointment to anger. “Volt? Why do you have to go to him?”
I didn’t want to give my answer. “I’m not sure. But there’s something wrong.”
“Well…all of my friends are sitting inside waiting to see you. Not to mention, it’s my birthday. You’re really just going to leave? Did someone die?”
“I don’t know yet. He didn’t say.”
“Can it wait?”
Volt wouldn’t have called me unless it was important. “I’ll make it up to you. I swear.”
“Well, my birthday doesn’t come for another year, so you’ll have to wait a long time.”
“I feel terrible about this. I really do.” I was making a terrible first impression with his friends, not to mention pissing him off. “I’m so sorry.”
“Then don’t do it. It’s as simple as that.” He challenged me with his look, warning me if I left, there would be serious consequences. Even our relationship was on the line, and it dangled on the edge of a knife.
“He needs me. He’s my best friend.”
“Shouldn’t I be your best friend?” he challenged. “And shouldn’t you be there for me?”
“Sage, I know you’re upset, but whatever Volt is going through must be serious. He wouldn’t have called me otherwise. He knows I’m going out for your birthday. He helped me pick out the gift.”
“Don’t you think that’s a strange coincidence?”
“What?”
“That he called when he knows you’re with me?”
I didn’t understand his meaning until it dawned on me. “You really think he’s still into me? How much clearer do I have to make it? Volt doesn’t see me like that. You saw his girlfriend.”
“But he still calls you for everything. Why isn’t he calling her?”
“I…I don’t know.” If something were seriously wrong, I would want him to call me and no one else. And that realization made me feel a little faint.
“Whatever.” He threw his arms up. “Go to him. Have fun.”
“Sage, someone could be dead.” How could he be so selfish?
“If someone were dead, he would have told you.”
“You don’t know that.” I’m the only one who knew him well enough to make such a claim.
“I’ve always thought he had a thing for you, but you know what? Now I think you have a thing for him.” He gave me a mirthless glare, the kind that showed the depth of his anger. People passed us on the sidewalk, but he didn’t glance at them and neither did I.
“That’s not true.”
“It’s not?” He tilted his head to the side, looking maniacal. “Because it sure seems like it.”
“Volt has been a good friend to me since I moved here. I didn’t know anyone in the city, and he helped me. He helped me with work, and he’s always looked after me. Maybe you don’t understand what friendship is like, but I do. Stop overanalyzing everything. You’re seeing things that aren’t there.”
“Oh, really?” he asked. “I’ll tell you what I see, Taylor. It’s my birthday, and you’re choosing to be with him. Plain and simple.”
I was wasting time in this argument. Volt needed me and five minutes had already passed. I had no idea what happened to him, but not knowing was crippling. “I’m not choosing to be with him. Something has happened to him, and I need to be there. I’m sorry it’s on the night of your birthday, but friends are always there for each other no matter what. If anything, you should be understanding. You’re making this entirely about yourself.”
“I should be understanding?” he asked incredulously. “He didn’t even tell you what’s wrong. And you’re running off to him.”
“He’ll tell me when I get there.”
“That’s still strange. If his mother passed away, then fine. For all we know, you’re going to get there and he’s going to ask you to help him pick an outfit. And you’ll run off for no reason.”
“First of all, he would never call me for something like that.” I held up my hand to him, growing angry at his comments. “Second of all, being a good friend isn’t about asking questions. It’s about being there for someone else. I’m sorry that I’ve ruined your birthday, and your friends will probably never like me now, but Volt is family.”
“He’s family?” he snapped.
That wasn’t the smartest thing to say, but the damage was done. “Yes. He’s family.”
“Fine. You’ve made it clear he’s more important than I am.” He stepped back, his arms still in the air. “Have a good night.”
“Sage, I never said that.”
“You don’t need to say it.” He turned his back to me and walked away. “You’ve made it pretty clear.”
***
I burst into his apartment and found him sitting on the couch. A glass of scotch sat next to a nearly empty bottle. Volt reclined against the cushion, his head tilted back and his face toward the ceiling.
This was bad.
I set Sage’s gift on the counter then moved to his side. He smelled like scotch, masking his cologne and natural scent. The booze burned as it entered my nostrils. “Volt, what’s wrong?” I scooted close to him and wrapped my arm around his.
He stared at the ceiling for another minute before he sat up and looked at me. The depression in his eyes told a story more painful than anything I’d ever encountered. Without saying a word, he told me about his heartbreak.
When I looked down, I noticed his hands. They were swollen and bruised, caked with dried blood and missing pieces of flesh. His knuckles were hard to distinguish because they were massacred. “Volt…” I grabbed one hand and examined it, seeing the extent of the damage.
“Clay.” That was all he said. He stared at his hands without reacting. Whatever pain he felt was numbed. Or perhaps he was just used to feeling it. “Clay came into my office yesterday with a black eye. His father did it.”
I wrapped my hand around his wrist because I couldn’t touch his hand. It was too broken for a simple caress. Without hearing the entire story, I knew exactly what happened. Volt flipped a switch and attacked Clay’s father. Not once did I judge him for it. “I’m so sorry.”
“I hunted him down when he was buying weed and made him pay for what he did. I beat him to within an inch of his life. Not once did I feel bad about it. I still don’t feel bad about it.”
I ran my hand up and down his arm, soothing him the only way I knew how. “Did you call the police?”
“No.” His voice broke. “Clay asked me not to.”
“Why not?”
/> “He doesn’t want to go to a foster home. He begged me not to say anything. So, I gave him what he wanted. But I had to make sure his father never lays a hand on him again. I’m pretty sure I scared the shit out of that bastard.”
My hand stopped at his forearm. “Volt, you have to tell the police. You can’t let Clay keep living there.”
“I don’t want him there either,” he whispered. “But he fought me on it—hard. He said he would never forgive me if I went through with it.”
“That shouldn’t matter, Volt. You need to do the best thing for him.”
He looked away, his lips pressed tightly together. “I’m all the kid has. I’m the only person he trusts. And if he turns away from me…who will he have then?”
Volt had a great relationship with this boy, and I understood why he wanted to keep that friendship. But he had to do the right thing—no matter the cost. “He’ll be mad at you for a while. But one day, he’ll thank you.”
“No, he won’t,” he whispered. “I handled the situation the best way I could. His father would be stupid to do anything to Clay. Next time, I’ll really kill him.”
“Unless he kills Clay first.”
His skin immediately turned ice-cold. “The thought scares me.”
“You have to go to the police, Volt.”
“Clay said he would deny everything. And he would run away. The kid doesn’t want to go, Taylor. I can’t make him.”
I was pressing an argument Volt didn’t want to listen to. He was shaken up over what happened, and I wasn’t helping the situation. He needed comfort and support, not a battle.
“I feel like a monster…”
I watched his face and saw the dullness enter his eyes. I’d never seen him look so low, seen him fall so hard. “That’s not true.”
“I beat the shit out of that loser you dated, and then I nearly killed Clay’s father. I’m just so angry… I get angry when bad things happen to good people. Clay deserves more than the shit he’s been given. You deserve a man who would die for you. The world is so fucked up that I don’t understand it.”