Breaking Ryann

by Alyssa Rae Taylor

  “Does this mean you’re coming?”

  Silently weighing my options, I’m not thrilled about it being just the three of us, and having to deal with their constant PDA—sort of like following a couple on their honeymoon. I will have my own room, though, and my chances of running into Sean are then non-existent. That idea alone trumps everything else. Rolling my eyes, I decide to give in. “Okay, I’ll go.”

  She squeals so loud I have to pull the phone away. “We’re going to have so much fun! Reese is coming!” she yells to Logan, and he mutters something back. “I better let you go now. He’s giving me dirty looks and wants to go gamble. Love you! See you tomorrow.”

  We say our goodbyes, then I turn off my phone again.

  Bang, bang, bang. “You’re going to have to talk to me, Reese. I know you’re in there. The cab just pulled up.”

  It’s the fourth time he’s come over in the last forty-eight hours, but the first time he’ll get a response. “Go away!” I tell him, peeking through the peephole. When he doesn’t move, I realize I’ll soon be face-to-face with the cheating bastard. I’ve got a flight to catch, and I’ll be damned if he makes me miss it. Vegas is starting to sound better every second, especially with him standing outside my door.

  “She was in the car when he picked me up. He’d had some friends over that night,” he says loudly enough so I can hear him.

  I press my forehead to the door and close my eyes.

  “Are you there?”

  “Please, just go,” I say quietly.

  “I never touched her before then. I swear I never—”

  “Look Sean, I’m not asking for an explanation. I’m asking you to leave.” Taking another peek, I notice how tired he looks. He’s got his hands jammed in his pockets, and he drops his head, letting out a sigh.

  “Would you hear me out for a minute?”

  I check the time, resigning. My eyes take a quick sweep around the house, making sure all the lights are off. Grabbing my stuff, I swing open the door, then bump him with my suitcase, pushing past him.

  He wraps his hand around my wrist to stop me. “Wait…” His voice is desperate. When I turn to face him, his eyes take their time roaming over my short yellow sundress that ties around the neck. “You look nice. Is that new?”

  “Are you serious? Let go of me!”

  “I’m sorry I hurt you. I never intended for us to go down this way. I was completely shitfaced and—”

  “You clearly let me know your intentions at the restaurant. Now let go of my arm, please.” I try to yank it back, but he tightens his grip.

  “It’s not about the sex, dammit! It’s about you and me. You’re never going to be ready.”

  I glare at him.

  “Shit! That came out wrong,” he says, rubbing his free hand over his face. “Fuck! If I thought you and I had a chance, I wouldn’t have touched her.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Him!” he yells, pointing toward Luke’s house. “I saw the way you looked at him, that night at the restaurant; not once have you looked at me like that. You’re still in love with him!”

  My heart rate picks up, and I break away. “You’re delusional, Sean.” I rush toward the cab, wanting to get as far from him as possible.

  “That’s all you have to say? Tell me you’re not in love with him!” he shouts over

  my shoulder. “You can’t even say it.”

  I brush a single tear off my face—because I’m angry, because he’s right. I know he’s right. I had jumped into another relationship, but I hadn’t been ready. I’ve been wracking my brain for two days, realizing my mistake, but it doesn’t excuse him for what he did. It doesn’t make it okay. I slide into the back of the yellow taxi, shutting the door without replying, and tell the driver where to take me. We pull out of the driveway, and I’m a mixture of emotions, but mostly I feel relief.

  I watch the passengers line up to board the plane, finishing up my second cocktail at a bar outside my gate. I feel the liquor working it’s magic. I haven’t stood up since I started, but I can tell I already have a good buzz. The bartender went a little generous on the vodka, and it all just sort of snuck up on me, while I’ve been sitting here mulling over what Sean said to me earlier.

  There’s no way I’ll let him shame me for my feelings. I tried to love him, tried to make it work. I wouldn’t have cheated, even if I knew we were headed toward a dead end. I’d unintentionally led him on, thinking time would make us stronger, but we should’ve broken up a long time ago. Regardless, my shoulders feel lighter. This trip will probably do some good for me.

  After taking care of my tab, I blow out a long, slow breath, then make my way to the end of the line. When I finally reach the podium, I hand a tall, short-haired woman my boarding pass. Her name is Lynn. She scans it with a curious expression, as her glasses slide down to the tip of her nose.

  “Reese Johnson?”

  “Yes,” I smile politely.

  “It looks like your seat has been upgraded to first class.”

  My gaze falls on the ticket then back to her. “That’s got to be a mistake. I didn’t pay for first class.”

  She presses her finger to the computer screen. “Nope. It says it right here. No mistake. Today must be your lucky day!” Her eyes twinkle.

  “Wow … okay.” I don’t really know what to say. So I stand there with a dumb look on my face, before she tells me where to go, shooing me forward. I walk through the gate in a daze, but excited. Gia had to have been behind this. I wonder how much she paid.

  When I step inside the plane, I scan the seats, finding mine three rows back, next to the window. The seat beside it is empty, but I doubt I’ll have the whole row to myself. The plane is nearly full, and we still have close to five minutes before departure … and that’s if we leave on time. I lift my overstuffed suitcase, shoving it into the bin above me, then slide into the leather seat. I definitely see the difference. It’s more inviting with triple the room. There are only two seats compared to the normal three. I can’t decide if I want to take a nap, or enjoy all the luxuries that first class will bring me.

  Laying my head back, I close my eyes, inhaling through my nose, and hope this is a sign that things will get better from this moment. A familiar soapy scent awakens my senses, causing goose bumps to rise up the back of my neck.

  “Dreaming about me?”

  I flick my eyes open and straighten in my seat. Luke sits beside me, wearing a ball cap and a grin the size of Texas. He holds what looks to be a beer in a plastic cup. With his gaze sweeping over me, he fingers the hemline of my dress. “I like this. Yellow suits you.”

  “Wha-what are you doing here?” I ask, placing my palm over my chest.

  “Going to Vegas,” he answers matter-of-factly.

  “Well, yeah, but I hadn’t heard anything about it. Why didn’t you tell me?” Not that I don’t want him to go. I’m thrilled, but just surprised.

  He shrugs casually. “Sort of decided last minute.”

  “Do Logan and Gia know?”

  “Yeah.” He finishes all that’s in his cup, then crushes the plastic.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You asked that already.” He squints.

  “Oh yeah. I forgot.”

  He scrutinizes me, and I wonder if he’s about to mention my break up. Logan had told him the other day when Luke dropped my car off at the shop. He’d come by to pick up my keys when I was holed up in my bedroom. Another thought comes to me.

  “Wait … did you do this?” I point to my seat.

  His gaze lingers, then he leans in to inhale me, his breath tickling my neck.

  “What are you doing?” I squirm. He grins lazily, and I have to cross my legs. The alcohol intensifies my body’s reaction to him.

  “You been drinkin’?”

  “You didn’t answer me.”

  “You first.”

  “I had two cocktails,” I relent.

  “Why was t
hat hard for you?”

  “It wasn’t.” I glance at him, and a loud voice comes over the speaker, telling us the time we should expect to arrive in Vegas, and the conditions of the skies. I’m relieved to learn the weather will be cooler than the triple digits in Phoenix, though it’s only by seven or eight degrees. A moment later we’re taxiing the runway.

  “I’d meant to get a small buzz, but the bartender forgot to add the cranberry. I feel like I’ve downed a whole bottle of vodka, and need to get something to eat. How’d you manage to get that?”

  His eyes drop to the crumpled mess that was his cup, then he stuffs it in the pocket of the seat in front of him. “I uh … had a stewardess sneak it to me before take off.”

  “You couldn’t get one at the airport?”

  “Didn’t have time.”

  I arch a brow. “So what? You hypnotized her with your charm, and she readily handed it over? Just like that?”

  “Hypnotized her with my charm?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t like to fly,” he offers flatly.

  “Oooh.” Why didn’t I know that? “I guess that’s something you and Gia have in common.”

  He doesn’t say anything, and I’m reminded of our earlier conversation.

  “How much do I owe you?”

  His eyes are questioning.

  “For my seat. You obviously paid for this.”

  “I’m not taking your money, princess.” He stretches out his legs and flips his hat around backwards.

  “C’mon, tell me.”

  He shakes his head. “We’re friends. Consider it a gift.”

  There isn’t a point in arguing. No matter how much I beg, it won’t change things. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Your drooling I can handle—”

  I bump his shoulder. “I do not drool!”

  “I beg to differ.”

  The force from the speed of the plane has us grabbing our armrests. Our skin brushes together, then that familiar charge shoots between us. I glance at his face. You wouldn’t know by looking at him, but I can sense his fear moving through me. We start to lift off, and he intertwines our fingers.

  “Are you okay?” I never imagined him being afraid of anything. He nods, but I don’t believe him. After awhile, the plane begins to level, and he releases my hand. I instantly miss the connection, placing mine in my lap.

  Over thirty minutes in the air, and Luke’s nerves are long gone. He’s ordered a couple more beers, while I’ve snacked on pita chips and hummus. If I consumed any more alcohol, he’d have to carry me out of here. Plus, I don’t want to tire out before we get to Vegas. I plan on having fun tonight, but there’s something that’s been bothering me since he showed up here.

  “So let’s get rid of the elephant in the room. Why haven’t you asked me about Sean yet? I know that Logan told you.” I pretend not to notice how the sides of our thighs are pressed together, or the way his arm brushes mine every so often. If I want to take our friendship seriously, I’ll need to get used to this, without getting flustered.

  “Figured you’d bring it up when you were ready.” He shrugs, gazing at me. “I actually expected you to be more upset.”

  I sigh. “I am—was—upset. It’s hard to explain. In some ways I feel like a weight has been lifted. Deep down I knew we were headed for it. Our relationship had been rocky for a while. I just didn’t expect things to end the way they did. If that even makes sense?”

  “Sure,” he shrugs.

  “So I think it’s time I give up on men—maybe become a nun,” I say, shoving a chip into my mouth.

  His eyes dance. “A nun?” He chuckles softly.

  “Not literally, you dope. I used to be independent and content with my life back when I was single. I want to be that girl again … the old me.”

  Playfully tugging on a strand of my hair, he says, “You are the same girl.” We experience some turbulence, and his hand covers mine for the second time. His eyes slide over. “Sorry, I’m a pussy.”

  “A lot of people share a fear of flying.”

  “I usually keep that detail to myself.” His mouth tips. “So what’s your excuse for drinkin’ a bottle of vodka so early?” he teases.

  “It’s sort of a long story.” And I’m not sure he wants to hear it.

  His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and I follow the movement. “I like listening to you talk.”

  Stop thinking about those lips! Stop thinking about that tongue!

  I meet his eyes, realizing he caught me staring, then let out a steady breath. “I ran into Sean today. I hadn’t seen him since that night.” He nods, encouraging me to go on. “He told me why he did it. Why he slept with that woman. I’m not giving him an excuse, but … in a way I understand him.”

  “You understand him?” he asks, bunching his forehead. “What the fuck is there to understand?”

  Okay, he’s angry. How can I explain this? “There are things that—”

  “What did he say to you?” he interrupts.

  There’s no way I’m letting him know my feelings for him played a major part in it. Fidgeting from my nerves, I tell him, “That’s not important. What I realize is I may have been partially to blame for him making that decision. It’s not that I’m completely holding myself responsible.” I hold out my hands, before continuing, “I’m just—”

  “Sticking up for him,” he snorts, rubbing his jaw as it tenses.

  I shake my head. “Let me explain before you get all upset.”

  “You don’t have to. I can see where you’re going with this.”

  “What he did was wrong. I completely agree. I also know I’d been hurting him unintentionally for quite some time.”

  “So he got you to feel sorry for him.” He chuckles sardonically. “I’m gonna shoot it to you straight, Reese. You weren’t giving him what he wanted, so the prick went and found somewhere else to stick his dick.”

  My mouth drops from the shock of his words, and I’m bursting with rage. How dare he say that to me after all he put me through! “No, Luke, that’s what you did!” I point, making him flinch, then a voice comes over the speaker, telling us to prepare for landing, but I’m not finished. “You left and cheated on me—told me to trust you, then went off to marry another woman! I’ve never been so betrayed in all my life.” I try not to cry. “Maybe you should keep your opinions regarding my relationships to yourself. You hardly have the right.” I should have never brought it up in the first place. I had opened up to him as a friend but wasn’t expecting he’d respond so rudely.

  Grabbing the armrests, he clenches tightly, looking angry instead of afraid. We land, then roll down the runway. With eyes filled with fury, he moves an inch from my face. I can smell a hint of mint and alcohol on his breath while he debates what he’s going to say. When the plane comes to a stop, he asks, “You want the truth?”

  Rows of people start exiting the plane. My breathing shallows from the

  expression that shows on his face. “That’s all I’ve wanted.”

  His nostrils flare. “The last woman I touched was you—only you. So stop pointing your little finger, unless you want to point it at yourself!”

  I shake my head, not understanding.

  He stands at his full height, then reaches into the bin above me to grab both of our bags. His arms flex as he walks right off the plane with one in each hand.

  “Wait!” I stand, racing to catch up with him, but he’s already through the gate. I find him inside the airport, waiting, our bags beside him on the floor. “Why would you say that?” I ask once I’m close to him.

  Stepping toward me, he places his hands on either side of my face, searching my eyes. Without warning, he crashes his lips to mine, hard and demanding. I gasp, and my insides come alive, at war with myself for enjoying this. He releases me before I can protest. His chest heaves as he tastes me on his lips. My heart thunders violently, and I try to catch my breath. “I was never married, Reese.” Grabbing o
ur bags, he strides away, leaving me in a trance.

  “You can’t just say that and walk off!” she yells from behind me.

  I smirk at her distress. I couldn’t help leaving her hanging the way I did. I’m tired of her saying that I’d cheated—that I’d betrayed her. It pisses me off that she’d think so low of me, and to top it off, stick up for Sean after what he did. That dick will get what’s coming to him. I made a promise, and I plan to keep it.

  She runs her mouth, following after me. “What do you mean you were never married, Luke? Talk to me!”

  I spin around, walking backward. “I mean I wasn’t married—never touched the woman.”

  Her face is incredulous. “But I met her! Saw her two or three times! At the hospital, she—”

  “Things aren’t always what they seem.” I stop at the exit, peering down on her, then hold the door open. She marches through with a scowl on her face, brushing my chest with her shoulder, then waits for me to lead her toward the cab line. If she thinks this attitude is going to get her what she wants, she’s setting herself up for disappointment. When I check to see if she’s following, I notice her eyes are watering. Shit … I don’t do well with crying women, never have. Plus, I’m dealing with my own emotions—one minute feeling sorry for her, the next I’m pissed off. If it weren’t for her lack of trust in me, we wouldn’t be in this mess. The thought of that prick putting his hands on her nearly pushes me over the edge. The only thing worse is the repeat visual in my head, of her enjoying it.

  “This isn’t funny,” she chokes.

  Lifting her chin with my finger and thumb, I force her to meet my gaze. “You and I are gonna talk. All right?”

  She rolls her eyes in attempt to control her tears. “My heart’s pounding like crazy. I’m so confused.” She sniffs.

  “We need privacy. I’ll fill you as soon as we have it.”

  She nods in understanding, and then it’s our turn to get in a cab. Grabbing our bags, I toss them in the trunk, giving orders to the driver. Traffic is slow, and we arrive at The Cosmopolitan an hour later. We’re greeted by the bellman in front of the entrance. I hand over our bags, then shoot Logan a text, letting him know of our arrival. This is her first time in Vegas and my first time at The Cosmopolitan.