Holding On For You
A Saved Series Novel
Shelby Reeves
Holding on for you
Book 2 in the Saved Series
Copyright 2017 by Shelby Reeves
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means.
Photography by Lindee Robinson Photography
Cover Design by MGBook Covers and Design
Interior Design and Formatting by Classic Interior Design
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referred in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated, with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Contents
Acknowledgments
1. Bo
2. Jess
3. Jess
4. Bo
5. Jess
6. Jess
7. Bo
8. Jess
9. Bo
10. Jess
11. Bo
12. Jess
13. Bo
14. Jess
15. Jess
16. Bo
17. Bo
18. Jess
19. Bo
20. Faith
21. Bo
22. Faith
23. Bo
24. Jess
25. Bo
26. Bo
27. Bo
28. Jess
29. Faith
30. Bo
31. Bo
32. Jess
33. Bo
34. Bo
35. Bo
36. Faith
37. Bo
38. Bo
39. Jess
40. Bo
41. Bo
42. Jess
43. Bo
44. Jess
45. Jess
46. Bo
47. Bo
48. Bo
49. Jess
Epilogue
About the Author
Other books by Shelby
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I want to thank God for blessing me.
My husband- You are always so supportive of my dreams and I love you so much!
My readers- Your support means the world to me. Thank you for loving my characters and their stories!
My parents- Thank you for loving me and being there for me.
Shannon- What can I say that I already haven’t? Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
My CS Chicks- You ladies always give the best advice and I’m lucky to have such amazing friends!
To the fellow authors who have helped me and given me advice…Thank you!
To all the blogs that have shared my author page, teasers, and helped promote me…Thank you for helping me get my name out in the book world.
1
Bo
It’s the middle of the night and my phone is ringing, which is not a good thing. It’s just after one and J is calling me. First of all, my brother hardly calls me in the wee hours of the morning and secondly, I can hear gut wrenching sobs coming from a girl in the background so I know something bad has happened.
“Bo, I need you to come to the hospital. Jess’ parents have just been killed in an accident. She and Cassie are both a mess and I’m trying to console them and take care of Ella. I need your help,” J says, sounding overwhelmed.
The thing I love most about my family is how quick we are to help each other. If one of us calls, the rest of us come running. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Thank you. Mom and Dad are on their way, too.”
Hanging up with my brother, I quickly throw on some clothes and shoes. My heart is already hurting for Jess. Hearing her bawl her eyes out in the background was already gutting me.
My mind is racing as I rush to the hospital. Jess and I, well, I don’t really know what we are. I do know that we aren’t in a romantic relationship as I don’t get involved in those. I don’t really know if we are still friends or not.
After our high school graduation, we haven’t talked much at all. Anytime I have hung out with J and his wife, Cassie, which is still weird to me, she hasn’t been around. Jess and Cass were still inseparable after she had my niece, Ella. I think she’s avoiding me, but I can’t think of a reason why she wouldn’t want to be around me. I know Jess has feelings for me, feelings I don’t reciprocate. Jess knew how I felt about relationships and she still thought she could tame me. Well, guess what, she failed. I like being single. I also like alcohol. Give me a pretty lady and a beer in my hand and I’m the happiest guy around.
I guess I am trying to say is, if Jess is heartbroken, then it’s her own fault. All I did was try to be friends with her like she wanted. Don’t get me wrong, Jess is beautiful and yes, I turned her down when she came on to me. All the girls I fuck, don’t hang around me on a regular basis and since Jess and Cassie are best friends, I won’t sleep with her. It will only create problems I don’t want or need.
Not long ago, I had a moment of weakness and let Jess get to me. The result? I lashed out at her. I started changing for a girl I thought I could be with. It turns out, she didn’t care for me as much as I believed, seeing as she slept with another guy after I turned her down.
I sound like a guy who is pissed and has a broken heart, don’t I? You can blame Jess for that. The honest truth is, at one point, I thought I was falling for her. Yeah, I’ll admit that I let her get to me by letting her in. So now, I put a wall around my heart and have gone back to my old ways. Screw love.
Finding the closest parking spot, I pull in and cut the engine. I call J to find out where they are located inside. Once I know where I am going, I pocket my phone and let out a breath.
Walking into the waiting room on the ground level where the emergency room is located, I scan the room for J. Jess’ cries catch my attention and I follow the sound to the back corner. Mom and Dad are already here. Mom is consoling Jess while Dad is cradling Ella. J is comforting Cassie, who is curled up in his lap. I didn’t really want to be the one to comfort Jess, considering our past, but I was willing to put it aside for her sake.
J looks up and nods, silently thanking me for coming. Cassie is gripping his shirt as she silently cries on his chest. I steal a glance at Jess, who locks eyes with me. Pulling out my handkerchief, I pass it to her.
“Thank you.” I almost couldn’t hear her seeing that her words came out in a hushed whisper.
Crouching down in front of her, I put a hand on her knee. “I’m sorry about your parents, Jess.” I wish I could think of something better to say but what is there? The two most important people in her life are now gone.
Jess surprises me by leaning over and throwing her arms around my neck. My arms come around her as more tears stream down her cheeks and onto my shirt. “I’m so sorry,” I say again. I hold her until she pulls away, wiping her eyes with the white piece of fabric I handed her.
“Thank you for being here. It means a lot to me,” she murmurs.
“You’re welcome.”
Standing to my full height, I lean down to hug my mom. A couple of weeks ago, I made my first adult purchase and bought a house. It’s not too far from where my parents live, but I know their nest is feeling empty now that J and Cassie have their own place, too.
In the year we have been out of high school, several things have changed. None of us hang out as much as we used to.
I see J on the ranch practically every day, but outside of work, he’s at home with Cassie and their daughter. I need to invite them over one night to hang out. I’ve kind of been avoiding it because I know Cass will bring Jess with her. So, I guess you could say I’ve been avoiding her, too.
“Bo, can I talk to you?” I turn to J who is now on his feet. Cassie moved next to Jess.
“Yeah.” I follow him outside, wondering what he needs to talk to me about. A gut feeling tells me it’s regarding Jess.
“Jess is leaving Brilliant,” he announces.
This is news to me. “Where is she going?” I only ask because I’m curious or at least it’s what I tell myself.
“She’s transferring to the University of Miami.”
What made her want to move all the way down there? “Why is she moving?” Jess started college at the University of Alabama-Huntsville since it was close to home. I know Cassie is going to miss her.
J shrugs. “She said she needs to get away from Brilliant.”
Get away? It’s probably because of you, my subconscious says. “She didn’t say why?”
He shakes his head. “No.” Then he adds, “Why? Do you think it’s because of you?”
I shrug my shoulders, indifferent. “Why would I be the reason?” Because you were an ass to her, that’s why.
J shoots me a look. “Do I need to remind you why?”
“No,” I grumble, irritated that he knows me so well. He’s my brother so, of course, he knows me better than anyone. Well, maybe besides my momma.
“Then you have your answer.” He pauses. “Maybe she’s leaving because she wants a fresh start. Especially now that she’s lost her parents, I think it will be good for her to get away.”
“Yeah,” I agree, even though I hate to see her go.
J pats my shoulder. “Come on, let’s go back. I’m sure they are wondering what is taking us so long and we need to figure out where Jess is staying tonight.”
I follow J back inside, taking a seat next to my sister-in-law who is holding Ella. “Can I hold my niece?”
Cassie passes Ella over to me, who instantly smiles when she sees me. I’ve thought about having kids later in life, but then I would need to be in a relationship and that is not something I am looking for. Maybe one day I’ll settle down, but it will be way in the future.
It’s hard to believe Ella will be turning one in a couple of months. J and Cassie are great parents and you can tell she is spoiled rotten. Mom and Dad help spoil her, and okay, I do too. Let’s keep that a secret though.
J walks over to me, a wide smile forms when his eyes find Ella. Ella holds her arms out for him and he takes her from me. She’s clearly a daddy’s girl. “Jess is staying with me and Cass for now. I told Jess that Cass and I would go pack some clothes for her. Will you drive Jess to our house and keep her company until we get there?”
“I will,” I say without a second thought. Jess needs company right now and I am not going through her clothes. I’ll let Cassie handle that. Jess would probably feel more comfortable with her doing it anyway.
Ready to get out of here, I walk over to Jess who is quietly talking to my mom still. Mom notices me and gives me a small smile. Jess keeps her gaze lowered to the floor. “Jess, are you ready to go?” She doesn’t utter a word, only nods her head.
Once Jess is on her feet, she hugs everyone goodbye while I grab J’s house keys. After I say my goodbyes, I wrap my arm around Jess’ waist and walk us to my truck.
“Would you like something to eat or drink?” I ask her once I pull from the parking lot.
“No,” she whispers.
The rest of the ride is quiet, only the sound of music coming through the radio can be heard. I can only imagine how Jess feels right now. With not knowing what to say to her, I keep my mouth shut.
When we arrive at my brother’s house, where Jess is staying for the time being, I hop out and jog around the truck to help her out.
Jess lets me hold her by her waist and set her on the ground. My arm goes back around her as we walk to the front door. Unlocking the door, I flip on a light so we can see.
She stands uncomfortably in the room, her arms hugging her midsection. “You don’t have to stay here. I know you don’t want to be here with me,” she says softly.
“Who said I didn’t want to be here?” I know she’s hurting so the last thing she needs to be is alone.
Her gaze drops to the floor. “No one has to tell me, Bo. I can tell you don’t want to be around me.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I say the first thing that comes to mind. “That’s not it, Jess. I’m going to be honest here, I don’t know what to say or do to make things better for you.”
Tears well in her eyes and I curse under my breath for making her cry again. “There is nothing anyone can do or say to make this better. My parents are gone, Bo. Gone! I will never get to see them again!” She cries, clutching her middle harder.
As if on instinct, I take her in my arms and hold her tight as she buries her face in my chest and bawls. I’m really bad at this.
All I can do is pray that J and Cassie get here soon before I make things worse.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, I was only trying to get you to understand that I don’t mind being here. You don’t need to be left alone, Jess,” I say in a tender voice.
Pulling away, she glances up at me, seeming surprised. “You don’t?”
“No. I know things have happened between us, but I’m here if you need me, okay?”
“Okay,” she murmurs, but I’m not sure if she believes me.
Jess takes a seat on the couch, so I ask her if she wants the TV on. She shakes her head.
Something to eat? No.
Drink? No.
Does she want to lay down? No.
Everything I offer is a flat out no. So here we are, sitting quietly on the couch not talking.
Unable to stand the quiet, I head to the kitchen to pour myself a drink. When it’s so quiet I can hear my own thoughts, I can’t stand it.
Jess is sitting on one end of the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest, her chin resting on her bent legs.
I have got to have a little bit of noise in here. The silence is deafening. “Do you mind if I turn on the TV? I can keep the volume low.”
Another head shake. I guess that’s a no.
Before I can turn on the TV, Jess whispers something that stops me in my tracks and chills the blood in my veins to ice. “Do you think they suffered?” she asks, keeping her eyes trained on the wall in front of her.
“Jess, you can’t think like that. It will eat you alive,” I murmur.
“It already is,” she responds. “I couldn’t bear it if they bled to death.” A tear rolls down her cheek as she continues to stare blankly at the wall and I Instinctively reach over to wipe it away.
Jesus, Jess! “Stop. I’m sure they didn’t feel any pain,” I say gently, wishing she didn’t think like that.
“But what if they did?”
Shifting on the couch so I’m facing her, I reach over, placing my fingers underneath her chin. Turning her gaze to me, I say, “Listen to me, you can’t go through life thinking ‘What if’ all the time.”
“I can’t help it, Bo. I miss them so much already. My heart hurts so bad. Worse than when you hurt me.” Her whole body trembles, giving me the urge to pull her into my lap and hold her tight.
I grimace at her words. “Ouch, that hurts”
“It’s the truth.”
“Well, I’m sorry, okay?” I reply, defensively.
She shoots me a dirty look. “Why say you’re sorry if you don’t mean it?”
What the heck? “Look, I know you are upset and angry right now, I get it, but don’t take it out on me.”
Jess shoots up from the couch and glares angrily at me. “You’re right I’m angry! I have every right to be upset right now!” Huffing, she stomps out of the room, slamming the bedroom door behind her.
How did a simple conversation get blown out of proportion? I silently debate whether or not I should give her space or try to talk to her. Giving her space sounds like a good idea right now. I’ll give her a few minutes before I go try to talk to her.
J and Cassie need to hurry their asses up. Knowing me, I’ll say the wrong thing again before the night is over. I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut.
2
Jess
I can’t stop asking myself why. Why did my parents have to die? Why them? Maybe I am sounding selfish, but I don’t care. I just want my parents to come back.
Having Bo here is both a blessing and a curse. I need the company, and yet, having him here is bringing back old memories. Painful memories I don’t want to remember. He has a way of getting under my skin whether he does it on purpose or not. I wish I could move on and find someone else, but no, my heart wants what it wants.
When I hear a knock on the door, I pull the covers over my head. I hate being vulnerable in front of someone, especially Bo.
I hear the door creak open. “Jess?” Bo whispers.
“Go away,” I mumble.
“Give me one minute to say what I need to say and I promise I’ll leave you alone.” When I don’t respond, he gets the hint. “Listen, I know I don’t know what you are going through, and I pray I never do. But, Jess, I’m always here if you need to talk, okay? I know things are rocky between us, but I am a good listener. I am really sorry about your parents.” He pauses, then adds, “I just wanted you to know that.”
Holding on for you (Saved #2) Page 1