“You’re on, Sweet Thing.” My manager, Tim’s beady eyes run up and down my body. Pig!
My hair is in pigtails and I’m wearing daisy duke shorts and a flannel top that is tied under my breasts and unbuttoned at the top, displaying the girls.
Stepping out into the light, I resist the urge to throw up as the music starts playing and I begin dancing. My routine is only a minute and a half, yet it feels like an eternity.
All these men try to touch me and I do my best to dodge their hands. I may make good money here, but there is no way in hell this is worth it. I believe I have officially hit rock bottom.
If Bo saw me like this, he’d hate me. Hell, I hate myself for having to do this.
I swing around the pole one last time. My shorts have already been discarded and now it’s time for my top to go, too. Thankfully, I don’t have to take any clothes off until the end of the dance. I force myself not to cry each time it happens when I hear all of the hoots and hollers.
I perform my routine at least three times a night and waitress in between. Even though my skirt is so short that I’m sure you can see up it, I’d rather serve drinks in it than dance any time.
Ryan is here pretty often and I’m not sure if it’s for me or for himself. Whatever reason that may be, I feel safe when he walks me to my car.
When my shift is over, which thankfully passed pretty quickly tonight, I change into more comfortable clothes and grab my things before I go find Ryan. To my dismay, he’s already left. I guess I have to brave the darkness tonight.
It’s eerily quiet out and it sends shivers down my spine. As I am unlocking my car, I hear gravel crunch behind me, causing my whole body to go tense. I spin around and come face to face with a man rushing up on me.
He immediately cages me against my car, his body pressing against mine. “Well, well, it looks like I’m going to have some fun tonight,” he murmurs, his nose trailing along my collarbone, down in between my breasts.
“Get off of me!” I yell, bracing my hands against his chest to try and push him off.
“Don’t try to fight it, baby girl. It would be quicker and a whole lot easier if you’d stop fighting me,” he warns in a hard tone.
The more I fight him, the angrier he becomes. He rears back and punches me in my cheek. Stunned from the force of the blow, I stand there trying to catch my breath when he lands another punch to my face, this time hitting me square in the jaw.
I have to fight him! My subconscious screams. Just as I am about to begin fighting back, his hand clasps around my throat and squeezes, hard. My hands claw at his as I struggle to breathe. His menacing laugh echoes through the night air and his grip is firm.
Bringing my knee up, I aim between his legs as hard as I can. He howls and the grip on my throat is gone. Dropping to his knees, he uses his hands to hold himself up. I knee him one last time in his face before picking up my bag and purse and climbing in my car to get the hell out of there.
My throat hurts and my lungs burn as I try to draw in oxygen. I’m almost to the dorms when I finally am able to catch my breath.
I have no idea where I am going to go. The last place I want to be is Ryan’s right now. He shouldn’t have left without walking me to my car. I can’t go to my dorm with Bo being there.
Ryan has called and texted my phone, but I have been ignoring all of them.
I need food.
I need a nice hot shower.
I need a friend.
I need sleep.
Sighing, I know the only other choice I have is my car, which I would be scared to sleep in, so I grab my stuff and head to my dorm.
All of the lights are off when I walk in so they must be asleep. I try not to think of them in bed together as I attempt to navigate my way through the room quietly.
“Jess? Is that you?” Faith whispers.
“Yeah, it’s me,” I reply quietly. I hear rustling of the covers and then the lamp flicks on. I’m hoping it’s not bright enough to where she can see my face.
Bo is still softly snoring, looking perfect. Faith climbs out of bed and runs over to me.
I’m still frozen in place as she wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “I’ve missed you, friend!”
“I miss you, too,” I admit.
She pulls away and her eyes grow wide as she notices my face and my throat. “Oh my god, Jess! What happened to you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? I just want to shower, eat, and go to sleep. I want to forget this ever happened.”
Faith purses her lips, not happy that I don’t want to talk. She wants answers and I don’t have the courage to tell her everything yet. “Fine, but we will talk when you’re ready. Go take a shower and I’ll fix you something to eat.”
As horrible as I’ve been to her, I’m amazed she’s still so nice to me. “Thank you, Faith, and I’m sorry for being a terrible friend.”
Faith hugs me again. “We all get a little lost sometimes. It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re back.”
I’m not sure if I am back or not yet, but I don’t tell her that. After grabbing some clothes, I turn and head toward the bathroom so I can shower and wash off all the grime from tonight’s events.
I’m scared Bo will wake up and see me and that’s the last thing I want. I don’t know how he will react and I think that’s what scares me the most.
The scorching hot water feels heavenly on my skin. I scrub and scrub until I feel clean.
As soon as I turn off the water, I hear voices. Crap! He’s awake! I don’t know if I can face him.
I dry off and dress slowly, taking my time. Glancing in the mirror, I gasp at the bruises covering the left side of my face and the fingerprints on my throat. The side of my face is throbbing so I search for some Tylenol, hoping it will help ease the pain.
Taking a deep breath, I leave the bathroom, preparing myself for what’s to come.
25
Bo
I wake up to Faith cooking in the kitchen. Glancing at the time, I notice it’s almost two in the morning.
“Faith?” I call to her. Climbing out of bed, I pull on my jogging pants and stroll over to her. Slipping my arms around her waist, I pull her back against me. That’s when I realize she’s crying. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask, worried.
Faith stops what she’s doing and turns in my arms, her forehead against my chest. “Jess came in, well tried to sneak in, and something happened to her,” she hiccups. “She has bruises on her face and neck, but she won’t talk to me.”
I force myself to stay relaxed. Faith can’t find out right now that Jess and I know each other, not when she’s already upset. “I’m so sorry, Faith. I’m sure she just needs time.”
“I’m trying not to push her so I told her I’d fix her something to eat while she showered.” Faith steps out of my embrace and resumes cooking. “I hate seeing her like this.”
I do, too, and I wish Jess would realize what she’s doing and how much she’s hurting the people who care about her.
Kissing the top of Faith’s head, I ask her if she needs any help. She shakes her head so I cross the room to put a shirt on.
A couple of minutes later, Jess emerges from the bathroom and my hands immediately ball into fists. If I find out who laid a hand on her, I’ll hunt them down and beat the shit out of them.
The urge to take Jess in my arms is strong, but I have to force myself to stay put. Why is Jess living like this? Doesn’t she know she has people who care about her?
Faith brings Jess her food and orders her to sit and eat. “Jess, this is my boyfriend, Bo, I told you about,” Faith introduces us, making me feel like shit for not telling her.
I nod at Jess who ignores me. Faith looks unsure of what to do.
Jess eats quietly, her head down the whole time. Faith tries talking to her, asking her questions. Jess answers in silence, only nodding, shaking her head, or shrugging her shoulders.
“Bo, can you give us a few minutes alone
please?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right outside if you need me,” I say to Faith, before glancing at Jess, hoping she knows I was talking to her, too.
Slipping my shoes on, I grab my phone and keys in case I need them and step outside. When the door clicks shut, I sag against it, running my hand through my hair.
Seeing Jess tonight, well, it hurts seeing her. All of the memories I have of us come flooding back.
How can I tell Faith about Jess without hurting her? Faith is an amazing girl and I don’t want to screw it up with her.
Finding Cassie’s message thread in my phone, I send her a quick text to call me as soon as she gets up in the morning. I’m hoping she can get through to Jess.
Sitting with my back against the wall, I pray someone can convince Jess to move back to Brilliant where she belongs before she gets killed down here.
Jess
The moment Bo is gone, Faith starts asking me questions. “Are you okay? Why am I asking you that? Of course, you’re not! Was it Ryan who did this to you?”
“No, it wasn’t him. I’ll be fine, Faith, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’m your best friend, Jess, you can bet your ass I’m going to worry!” I knew that. Cassie would be worried, too. “Will you talk to me?”
“I’d really rather not. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just I don’t want you to be disappointed in me,” I murmur just above a whisper.
Faith drapes her arm over my shoulders. “Regardless of what you tell me, I won’t think any less of you. I’m here to help you, I promise, whatever you tell me will stay between us.”
I trust Faith completely, so I take a deep encouraging breath and tell her what’s been going on and why. Faith sits quietly and listens intently as I begin telling her how I wasn’t handling my parent’s death well and how I was “coping” with it. Not once did I see a look of disappointment or disgust on her face. I feel relieved that she knows.
Faith hugs me tight and I’m grateful to have her as a friend. Speaking of friends, I need to call Cassie. “Oh my goodness, Jess! I wish you would have come to me sooner and talked to me! I can’t say that I know what you’re going through because I don’t know what it feels like to truly lose someone you care about, but I would have tried and done my best to not let you get so depressed. You can always talk to me or cry on my shoulder if that’s what you need.”
“Thank you for being my friend, Faith.”
She smiles and nudges my shoulder with hers. “It’s what I’m here for.” Faith rises to her feet. “Is it okay if he comes back in now?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her about Bo, but the words won’t come out so I nod. I hate keeping that secret from her.
It could possibly ruin our friendship and I can’t lose her over a guy, even if it is one I love. When Bo comes back in the room, he locks eyes with me briefly. My heart skips a beat from that moment. I tuck the memory away with all the other ones I have of him.
Bo and Faith look good together, as much as I hate to admit it. As long as they are both happy, I will try to be. I watch as he stops next to her and she leans into him with a silly smile on her face. She’s clearly into him and I can’t ruin her happiness.
“I’m exhausted, I’m going to go to sleep,” I tell them.
Faith hugs me one last time and I can feel Bo’s gaze on me as I crawl into bed. With my back to them, I curl into a ball and close my eyes.
Even with how jealous I am, I’m glad Faith and Bo are here. Knowing I am protected, I fall asleep easily.
26
Bo
My mind is having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that some sick lowlife tried to take advantage of Jess. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her while I vowed that no one would hurt her again. It took everything in me to not react when I first saw her. I almost said to hell with it and confessed to Faith so I could comfort Jess, but I knew it would hurt Faith so I was torn. In between a rock and a hard place, I had to stand there and act like seeing Jess so frightened and her face and neck black and blue didn’t bother me. I had to be that guy and I hated every second of it.
If I find out who put their hands on Jess, there will be hell to pay. Jess is sleeping peacefully right now while Faith sits next to her on the bed and stares at her. She feels lost as I do when it comes to helping her. I want so bad to ask Faith what they talked about, yet I knew it wasn’t my place to pry. It’s eating me alive not knowing what exactly happened. I wish like hell I could fix her hurt.
I’m standing next to Faith, my hand on her shoulder. She leans into my stomach and sighs. “Why don’t you get some rest?”
“I’m afraid she won’t be here when I wake.” I wish I could talk to Jess so I can ask her why she has changed so much. Ryan has a lot to do with it, but I have a feeling it’s something deeper than him.
It seems surreal that she’s here to me too. “I don’t think she will leave,” I tell her, trying to convince myself of the same thing.
“I’ve spent so many days worrying about her. Where she was, what she was doing. Nothing prepared me for what she told me.” What on earth did Jess tell her? “I just hope what advice I gave her helps her.”
I never thought I’d say these next words after giving everyone so much grief for telling me. “Give her time, Faith. One day she’ll realize she needs her friends to lean on.”
Jess has so many people who love her and would be willing to help her if she’d let them, including me.
Faith doesn’t seem convinced so I continue. “If you want, I can stay up for a while so you can sleep? If she goes to leave, I’ll wake you.”
Her eyes brighten a little. “You’d do that?”
“I offered, didn’t I?”
She laughs lightly, elbowing my stomach. “Smartass.”
I kiss her goodnight, which suddenly feels wrong now with Jess in the same room.
Faith crawls into bed and I slip in beside her, except I sit up with my back resting against the headboard. Faith lays her head in my lap, curling up under the covers. I twirl a strand of her hair around my finger as she falls asleep.
Over the next few hours, I find myself staring at Jess, asking myself the same questions over and over. I need answers to them before I go insane.
Deciding to make the girls breakfast, I quietly slip out from underneath Faith and head to the kitchen. It’s going on eight in the morning and I’m getting hungry myself.
I find ingredients to make loaded omelets. Bacon, sausage, ham, bell pepper, cheese, and onions are what they’re going to be stuffed with.
I’m halfway done making breakfast when I hear footsteps behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I almost drop the pan when I notice Jess standing behind me.
“Hey,” she murmurs, delicately.
“Morning. Sleep well?” I ask, turning my attention back to the omelet so I don’t burn it. “I’m about done with the first plate so take a seat and I’ll bring it to you.”
Jess remains silent, but I hear a chair move so I know she heard me. There are so many questions going through my head, yet I can’t think of something to say to her. As much as I hate it, my inquisition is going to have to wait until we are alone. “How’s school going?” There, that’s a solid ground question.
“I quit,” she murmurs so low I almost couldn’t hear her.
She fucking quit? “Can I ask why?”
At first, I don’t think she’s going to tell me, but then she says, “I want to leave Miami, so I planned on not taking classes the next semester and leaving, but I’m running low on money so it put a stop to my plan.”
She wants to leave Miami? Does that mean she is coming home? “Where do you plan on going?”
“I don’t know. Anywhere sounds good.”
Fuck! “Why not come back to Brilliant? My family would love to see you, spend time with you. You can get a job there until you get enough cash saved up to travel,” I offer, hoping like hell she likes my suggest
ion.
With the first omelet done, I put it on a plate and take it to her, turning off the stove as I go. “Thank you,” she says as I place it in front of her.
“What would you like to drink?”
“Anything is fine.”
I pour her a glass of sweet tea and set it in front of her, taking the seat next to her, waiting to finish our conversation.
“So, what about my offer?” I ask when it’s clear she isn’t going to answer on her own.
“I don’t know, Bo. That place holds too much pain for me, you know that.”
I do know that, but it’s better than her being in fucking Miami. Personally, I think Brilliant will help heal her. “It has to be better than this place.”
She shrugs, not offering a response to my statement. “I’ll think about it.”
That’s better than a flat out no. “What’s holding you back? This place isn’t good for you. I mean look what happened to you last night.”
“Bo,” she murmurs my name, wanting me to stop, but I keep going.
“You’re too thin, Jess. I miss your curves, I miss your smile. Your pretty green eyes hold so much pain in them now and it hurts to look in them and see it. Come home, Jess, it’s where you belong. I know you think Brilliant holds a lot of pain, and I’m sure it does because of your parents, and as much as I hate to admit it, me, but Miami is slowly killing you. Get out of this place and come home.” I didn’t mean to unleash all of that on her, but once I started, I couldn’t stop.
Tears brim her eyes, making me want to kick myself for putting them there. She needed to hear the truth though.
“Faith is what’s keeping me from coming back to Brilliant,” she finally admits. “She’s my best friend, but she’s also your girlfriend. Seeing both of you together hurts, Bo, don’t you see that? If I move back to Brilliant and she comes, then I have to see you two together all the time. My heart can’t take it.”
I want to tell her it’s her own fucking fault that we aren’t together, but I bite my tongue.
Holding on for you (Saved #2) Page 10