Fyn pulled up a spare stool and sat down next to her. He reached over and turned her keyboard on, catching the last few notes.
Sara jumped at the sound. She looked at him for a moment, then down at the keyboard, as if the sound had called her back from somewhere.
“What is that? I’ve never heard you sing it.”
She looked down again, with a slight frown.
“Oh. Um, it’s from a musical…called Phantom of the Opera. Christine sings it at her father’s grave. She…misses him.”
“Would you sing it for me?”
She hesitated, and he could tell she didn’t really want to, but finally shrugged. “Okay.”
She bit her lip for a moment, then her fingers flexed and settled on the keys. She hesitated again before she started to play and sing. Her face didn’t change, it stayed remote. Her voice was soft at first, but there was an intensity to her singing he hadn’t heard before. Then, her voice rose, seemingly without effort, until it filled the room.
It wasn’t a song about lost love, but about lost family, about being alone and trying to figure out how to deal with it.
It was a window into just how much Sara hid from the world, maybe she even hid from herself. The song grew softer again, then faded away. There was a pause and then she played the refrain as single, sad notes one last time.
She took a deep breath, then looked up at him and he could see her shake the past away.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to go drama queen again. You’ll have to watch the movie sometime. Romance, drama and a deformed—but still very hot—guy. Pretty girl for you.”
She turned off the keyboard with a decisive gesture and stood up, her smile not quite natural yet—as if her past hadn’t quite let her go.
Without speaking, he drew her into his arms. She stiffened for a minute, then relaxed against him. He wished her past could have been different. The picture of that thin, sad girl haunted him. And yet…if her past had been different, she wouldn’t be who she was now. Maybe she wouldn’t be here.
His past didn’t want to let him go either. He could feel the tentacles from both trying to tear them apart. She clung to him like she sensed it, too.
His time with the Ojemba—and his hate—had taken him to a pretty dark place, he realized now. He hadn’t completely lost himself, but he wasn’t proud of the person he’d been. Grief wasn’t an…excuse. It wasn’t even a good reason. Not anymore.
He stroked her hair, wishing he could smooth her pain away as easily.
A movement, or maybe it was a feeling of being watched, made him look toward the doorway. The old man was there with the Gadi commander. They both had odd looks on their faces, though the Gadi’s was definitely the oddest. Halliwell reached out and pressed the control that closed the door.
She tipped her head back, looking at him with a bit of worry in her eyes.
“Are you all right?”
“I love you. Don’t think I told you.”
She smiled, but he could see weary in her face and eyes.
“It’s nice to hear, but that doesn’t really answer my question. What’s bothering you? Is it the song? Because it’s just a song. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Doesn’t it?” He arched his brows, holding her gaze.
Her lashes flickered, but she didn’t look away. “Not everything I sing is all about me. That would be really…shallow.”
“So the fact that you play it night after night means…nothing?”
Her lashes flicked down. “Well…not…nothing. Just not…everything. I don’t consider the years wasted. Didn’t usually have the time or privacy to cry—”
“But you miss them.”
She smoothed the fabric of his shirt, her lips slightly pursed.
“I don’t know if missing is the right word. I was so young when they died. It’s more like a hole…a longing to know more about them.” She rubbed her chest where her heart was, but he didn’t think she realized it. “Do you remember your parents? Did you know them?”
He nodded. “They died not long after Fiona and I bonded.”
“Obviously coming here, finding out about Miri…has left me with a lot of unanswered questions. Empty cities and the long dead…not a lot to work with.”
“Something else has happened, hasn’t it?”
She sighed. “But you make it all seem okay again.” She looked up and smiled at him. He touched her cheek, watching color bloom in her face. That’s what she did for him, too. His world had been…tilted, but she’d made it straight again.
“You’re tired. Still having trouble…waking?”
“Actually, I think I just have too much on my mind.” She stretched. “I like being in love. I hate missing any of it. I just lay in bed grinning like an idiot.”
That wasn’t the whole truth. He could see the shadows hanging on at the back of her eyes.
“So, I’ve been invited to LaShaunda’s wedding. Was wondering if you’d go with me if we make it back to earth in time?”
“That’s Evie’s daughter? The one who—”
“Doesn’t like me? That’s right. Not sure why she wants me there, but I figure Evie’d like me to go. You’d look great on my arm. And there is also the fact that no one expected me to have a man on my arm, let alone a hot one.”
He arched his brows again. “Hot?”
“Smoking hot, actually.” She licked her finger and touched him, jerking it back with a sizzling sound. She grinned.
He hesitated, and then said, “What’s a wedding?”
Her eyes widened a bit. “Didn’t I explain that part? I guess I didn’t. A wedding is where a marriage happens.”
“I see.” He thought about it for a minute. “Why is she waiting so long?”
“Well, some weddings are very fancy. There’s the church, flowers, food, music, picking out a dress, inviting people in other galaxies…”
Did she want all that?
“No,” she said, as if he’d said it out loud. “I just want you.”
“You sure about that?” He slid his hands up her arms, then down gripping her elbows, holding her away from him so he could see her face.
“That is probably the only thing I’m sure about right now.” Her lashes dropped down again. “I suppose you heard I’ve been grounded again.”
“Because of the Gadi?”
She nodded. “I guess they never heard that proverb about being careful what you wish for, because you might get it.”
He hadn’t heard it either. It sent an odd chill down his back. He’d made some wishes in the past he hoped he didn’t get now.
“They don’t believe you don’t have the key either.” He felt her jerk. He studied her face. “Sara?”
For a long moment she looked at him. “Let’s not talk about the key. Old Man doesn’t want me to anyway. Made it an order.”
She said it lightly, like it was joke, but he could tell it wasn’t. He understood about orders, more than he wanted to, but…what if she was ordered to stay away from him?
“They’d never give that kind of order, Fyn. It’s not our way.”
“Can you read my mind?” That made him more than a little nervous.
She grinned. “Just your eyes. They say a lot. In fact, only talkative part on your whole body. If you need to lie to me, don’t look at me.”
Luckily for him, she rubbed her face after she said that or who knows what she’d have seen in his eyes. Kalian still lurked in the shadows of his past. Each contact they had with others in the galaxy, the more likely it was he’d find out Fyn wasn’t dead.
“Let’s get out of here. I think I’m actually sick of this place.”
She held out her hand to him and he took it, pulling her close to his side as they headed for the door. What would they do if the colonel refused permission? This was her life. She couldn’t leave it. He stopped and turned to her, holding her almost desperately. He knew what loss was like, too. And he knew it wasn’t only her past that could tear them apart.
“If
he says no, we just wait until my enlistment is up.” She found his hand and lifted it to her cheek.
“You’d leave this?”
Now she looked surprised. “If I had to.”
“But…you love it.”
“Yes.” She added, like it should be obvious, “There are other ways to fly. Only one you.” She frowned. “You really didn’t know?”
He touched the side of her face. “I would never ask you to give it up.”
“I know. That’s why you don’t have to ask. We’re a team now, no matter what they say.” Her smile turned a bit wry. “Dying twice sort of clears up your thinking, helps you bring things into very sharp focus.”
‘Yeah, it does.” He’d done a lot of thinking, but there was no clarity for him, just boiling uncertainty. He felt guilty. She loved him. He loved her. That should be enough.
She looked exhausted, which probably explained why she hadn’t homed in on his confusion. She yawned.
“Sorry.”
“Come on, let’s get you back to your quarters.”
They turned toward the door, and it slid back at their approach. Waiting in the corridor, Fyn saw Halliwell and the Gadi commander. Why couldn’t they leave her alone?
Fyn was close enough to feel tension flood into her, but none of it showed on the outside. He almost said something, but as if she knew, Sara put her hand on his arm and gave him a quick, reassuring smile, before looking at Halliwell.
“Sir?”
“I know it’s late, Captain, but the Commander was wondering if he might speak to you. He assures me he won’t keep you long.”
Something in Halliwell’s eyes and stance told Fyn he wanted her to talk to him…but there was also a warning in his eyes and voice. Sara looked at Halliwell for a long moment, then she looked at Gaedon. He felt her digging deep. He could see her shoulders straighten.
“Of course.”
“I’m going to…mediate the conversation, but I need to talk to Fyn for a moment. I’ll be right with you. Just don’t start without me.”
“Yes, sir.” She looked puzzled, but she politely pointed back the way she’d just come. “We can talk in here.”
Even without her full uniform, she managed to give the impression of a good soldier, Fyn noticed. He gave her hand a last squeeze, before letting her go.
When the door hissed closed behind them, he looked at Halliwell. He looked tired and worried.
“I’ve been thinking about…your situation,” Halliwell said suddenly. “There are a lot of reasons for me to say no—”
Fyn felt his heart contract.
“—and really only one reason to say yes.” For a long moment, Halliwell stared into Fyn’s eyes, his gaze hard and probing. Fyn met that gaze without blinking or looking away. It wasn’t easy. Luckily Halliwell looked away, his gaze sliding toward the door, then turning back to Fyn. “You have any objection to it happening right away?”
Fyn’s eyes widened. “No.”
“Good enough. If Donovan has no objection, I’d like it to take place in the morning. I’ll talk to the chaplain and get it set up. Frankly, the sooner she’s…off the market, the better for all of us. I hope.” He slanted Fyn a look suddenly sparked with amusement. “Of course, they could all start gunning for you.”
Fyn grinned. “They can try.”
He suddenly had a huge incentive to live. He’d find a way to make it work. He had to.
* * * *
Sara would have preferred to stand while she had her chat with Gaedon, but she was so tired, she was afraid she might fall over, so she led him to one of the small tables and sat down.
“I saw the end of your…well, what you do in here…” Gaedon looked around him with interest and just a bit of distaste, as he seated himself opposite her. “It was most …enlightening.”
“I don’t imagine you enjoyed it much” Sara managed a tired smile. He looked uncomfortable. “I’m not offended. On my world, we don’t all have the same taste in music. It’s what makes life interesting. Variety is the spice of life, they say.”
He looked like he wasn’t so sure. Maybe they didn’t have that much variety in his corner of the galaxy.
“It does not damage your harmonious to hit it so forcefully?”
“My keyboard can take a beating and keep on shrieking.” He just looked more confused. “It’s designed to be hit…forcefully.”
“Oh.”
A small silence fell as they waited for Halliwell to join them. They both turned toward the door with obvious relief, when he did.
“Right,” Halliwell pulled up another chair. He seemed unsure about how to begin.
“May I ask you a question, sir?” Sara figured someone had to get things moving.
Both men looked surprised. Halliwell nodded.
“Of course.”
“What does the key look like, Commander? Do you have a picture or a drawing of it?”
He looked surprised. And a bit puzzled.
“I’m afraid…I do not know.”
“What do the legends say about it?” Sara was actually kind of enjoying herself all the sudden. If they didn’t know what it looked like, then they couldn’t exactly grab it, well, her, now could they?
“That Miri was the keeper of the key.”
“Not too informative, is it?”
He gave a slight, rueful smile. As before, there was charm in it.
“No, it’s not.” He looked at Halliwell. “I didn’t come here to talk about the key.”
It was Sara’s turn to be surprised. “You didn’t?”
She was almost too tired to process a change in direction. She tried to stop a yawn, couldn’t and had to hide it behind a hand.
“Sorry, sir. I’m pretty whacked. Maybe we’d better pick up the pace before my head thumps against the table top.”
“Right.” Halliwell hesitated. “The commander is here to…negotiate an alliance between our two peoples…and a marriage…what they call a bonding…between you and their leader.”
Sara blinked once. It didn’t help.
She stared at Halliwell. He shrugged, so she looked at Gaedon.
“What?”
Commander Gaedon smiled a bit ruefully. “I had my…argument all prepared, but—”
Sara waited, wondering what had changed his mind.
“I…saw…I heard…you sing this evening.”
Sara tried to think what song could have affected him—
She stiffened and felt color run up into her face.
“After everyone left.” Sara looked down, her fingers going to the table top for some vent tapping.
“I am sorry. By the time we realized…it was not my intention to intrude on such a personal moment.”
“It was a…public room.” Sara took a deep breath and looked up. “Just for the record, it was a song. I don’t weep or consider my life wasted. I’m very happy—”
“And very much involved with Fyn.” Halliwell looked at her, his gaze oddly direct. “I did inform the commander that you are to be married—”
He had? Did that mean he was giving them permission? She started to smile and got a warning look from Halliwell.
“—but he felt he still had to make his pitch.”
Sara felt like a wide-eyed owl, as she turned her gaze toward Gaedon, trying to focus on the moment, not her possible wedding. It wasn’t easy.
“It is my duty, you understand.”
Actually, she didn’t understand anything…except the part about her and Fyn getting married. She looked at the Colonel again and he nodded, his lips twitching.
Her lips curved up on their own as she told Gaedon, “As a soldier, I understand duty, sir. I’m still confused about the…bonding part, though.”
“The leader of our people is a man named Helfron Gaddioni.”
“Helfron?” Just saying it made her eye twitch. She didn’t even try to pronounce the last name.
“That’s right. Helfron Gaddioni.”
Sara blinked a few times
. “Helfron? His name is Helfron?”
Gaedon looked a bit confused. “Of course.”
“Helfron—”
“Captain.” Halliwell broke in. “Perhaps we could move past the name?”
“Sorry, sir.” Helfron? Who named their kid Helfron? Might as well stick a “kick me” sign on his back.
“I have brought a drawing of him for you to see.” Gaedon pulled it out and laid it on the table between them.
Sara pulled it toward her and studied it for a moment. The face was handsome, blonde hair, blue eyes. Snooty expression.
“As you can see, he is very well formed.”
“He is awfully…pretty.” She pushed it back to Gaedon. “I don’t usually go over big with pretty guys. Too homely.”
Gaedon’s eyes widened. “Homely? Perhaps that doesn’t mean the same among your people—”
“If it means not pretty, then we’re on the same page.”
Gaedon looked at Halliwell who just shrugged.
“Our leader is most eager to meet you and convince you of his sincere interest in forming a bond with the descendent of Miri.”
Of course he was. Now it was Sara who looked at Halliwell for help. He shrugged again. Being a mediator was clearly a tough gig. Being the object of it wasn’t much better.
Sara rubbed her face, trying to clear the fog. “What?”
Gaedon smiled. “He wishes me, on his behalf, to propose both the bonding and the alliance, to complete the union that should have already happened.”
Sara stared at him. “Um…no, thank you—to the bond. Can’t speak to the alliance.”
“I am authorized to offer you…inducements. The bonding settlement is the most generous ever offered by a Gadi head of state to—”
“A commoner?” Sara helpfully supplied for him. “Trailer park trash?”
“Why don’t you just let him talk, Captain?” Halliwell gave her a warning look.
“Sorry, sir. Could you give me the high sign when we get to the part where I say no?” She did her owl blink a couple of times.
Gaedon looked a bit discouraged, but he manfully pressed forward. “I have explained to the leader that you were not…typical and that you would not be happy with a typical bonding arrangement. He has agreed to permit you certain concessions—”
“Did you just use the word permit?” Sara asked. “Permit as in freaking allow—”
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