Desire's Golden Dreams

by Tish Domenick

  A light, then Slim appeared in front of her. He led her back into the now fully appointed room. “You certainly have a quick temper for a ghost.” She glared at him.

  “I admit it. I can’t seem to control my anger when my emotions are involved. It’s what got me in this position in the first place.”

  Hannah sat at the edge of the sofa. “Are you finally going to tell me about yourself?”

  Slim took his time answering. He pulled out a barstool, straddled it, got up, went behind the bar for a bottle of scotch, and poured it. He settled behind the bar leaning over it to face her with a barrier between them. “I have revealed more than I intended. What you must probably surmise is true. I am not here because I wish to be. I have been condemned to a life in the mine where I once took another’s life. Perhaps someday I’ll tell you about what happened, yet even after decades have passed, I cannot bear thinking of it.”

  “You’re a murderer, then?” Hannah leaned forward, elbow on knees, head resting on her hands.

  “Let’s not dwell on me and my plight. I can see you’re set for a juicy mystery tale, but a crime of passion is an old, oft-repeated story. Your ancestors are much more interesting.” He downed his scotch and slammed the glass on the bar. “Do you wish to hear the end of Wade’s story or are you finished prying into the lives of your ancestors?”

  “Prying? Is that what I’m doing?” Hannah’s head drooped and she rose as if in a dream state. “I suppose I shouldn’t know the intimate details of another’s life. I thought I was honoring Hannah Brown by trying to understand her and maybe, if I accomplished that kind of understanding, I would better know myself.” She circled the room as she spoke, more to herself than to Slim. With a sigh, she propped a hip on the barstool across from where he stood. “I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”

  He took her hand across the bar top and caressed the palm. “No, you’re being human. Learning about the people you came from can no longer hurt them. It may help you. You have been sheltered, yet not given the attention you crave, except by Bolt. That you two found each other is a miracle. Your needs match and that is rare in any era of history.”

  Hannah grasped his hand and held tight for a moment before letting go. “Perhaps meeting you was another miracle. I may be selfish, but I want to know everything about those in my great-great-great-grandmother’s life.”

  “I’m nearly finished with Wade’s story. He mainly stayed at the ranch after Trey grew into an adolescent. I suppose he harbored the possibility that the child may have been his until his height and girth and facial features proved he was indeed Brady’s son.

  “Hannah had so many interests in her life, she couldn’t spend much time at the ranch. The gulf between them widened until Brady followed his son to Great Britain. Trey was a Rhodes Scholar and capable of getting along on his own, yet Brady couldn’t bear being away from him.”

  “You mean Hannah was left alone in that mansion?”

  “No, she had Joel with her. Several years before, Princess had moved to Sacramento with her husband. Hannah devoted herself to Joel and his career. He was not as bright as Trey and secretly rejoiced when Trey and Brady left. To be fair, he had a right to be jealous, since comparisons always favored Trey. Indeed, the rift between the boys may have been a reason Trey and Brady moved across the sea. The two boys never got along. Trey resented Joel because his mother gave him everything and Brady stopped her from doing the same for Trey. Brady made Trey work for things and if he got into trouble, he had to atone and make restitution. Joel could go to his mother and she would smooth the way without making him admit he was wrong.”

  “Joel was my great-great-grandfather, don’t forget. Don’t diminish him too much in my eyes. I am a part of his bloodline.”

  “Not all your ancestors were as good as Hannah Brown Tolliver. Joel Tolliver was a hated man in his day. He ruled the family from the mansion for nearly a century, having inherited long life from his mother. Wade died years before Hannah. Princess kept up only token contact with the family after Hannah died.”

  Slim handed Hannah a fresh bottle of water from behind the bar. “Do you want to hear about Joel or not? It’s not a pretty story.”

  Hannah broke the seal on the bottle top. “Tell me everything, even the bad stuff.”

  “Joel never missed his older sister once she left. He was executor of his mother’s will and appropriated as much of her property as he could without causing a lawsuit from Princess. Princess had enough money of her own and married well. She let him get away with it. Actually, she blamed her mother for coddling Joel and not ever letting him learn the consequences of his mistakes. Princess learned more from watching Brady’s unselfishness and his devotion to her and her mother. Joel in his competitiveness with Trey only learned meanness, jealousy, and selfishness.”

  “Yet Joel named his first son Wade.”

  “Yes, he loved his parents, but no one else beyond them. He would have named his daughter Hannah, but Princess had already usurped the name for her only child.” Slim paused again. “Joel gave his wife such a dreadful time, he turned her into a whore only he controlled. Do you want to know about your great-great-grandmother, Josie? Again, I have to warn you, it’s unsavory.”

  “I want to hear it. She is rarely mentioned in any of the family documents.”

  “As was the family way, they blamed her and not Joel for the scandalous rumors surrounding the marriage of Joel and Josie.” He poured a drink at the bar and sipped. “Okay, here is the whole story. Joel inherited his sexual appetites from his parents. He had several women before and after choosing Josie as his brood mare.”

  “Brood mare? What a horrible thing to say. Was it an arranged, loveless marriage?”

  “Not arranged in the sense you mean and it wasn’t loveless. It was one-sided love. Josie was as sweet as Joel was callous. He swept her off her feet with attention and she fell deeply in love with the Joel he let her see. She would do anything to please him. In the beginning, she excused his peccadilloes because she wanted him to be happy and she believed all men needed a mistress as well as a wife. Her father had one and her mother never complained. Josie’s love didn’t waver even when he forced her to become as debased as he.” Slim’s face darkened. “Perhaps you shouldn’t hear all of this.”

  “I’m not a child and I have no illusions about people simply because they descended from the same couple as I did. Of course you should tell me all, good and bad.”

  “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Joel was so terribly spoiled and coddled and felt entitled to whatever he desired. Josie was gorgeous, which is why Joel chose her. She had men after her from Paris to New York and of course, California. Her family had a good name, but not the kind of wealth the Tollivers had.”

  “Wait a sec. If Josie was in such demand, why did she choose Joel?”

  “Joel made his conquest as he did all things, methodically and without let-up. He charmed her mother, first. The woman saw the wealth behind him and looked no further. She wanted her daughter to have the kind of life Joel could give Josie. And maybe the loans and outright gifts Joel offered her parents helped.”

  “If he was such a scoundrel, didn’t everyone know it?”

  “No, he was discreet and bought his way out of scrapes he couldn’t deny. He was an upstanding citizen in the eyes of the world and very philanthropic.”

  “Was Josie as mercenary as her mother?”

  “Not a bit, but she was obedient and followed the advice of her parents in all things. This was another reason Joel wanted her. He could make her into the wife he wanted, one who would love, honor, and most of all, obey.”

  “What kind of wife was that for a man with an important position in the community?”

  “Oh, he wanted much more than a mouse. He also wanted a woman who would be gracious as his hostess, hold up her end of conversations with the gentry, bear his children without fuss, and one who would be a whore in the bedroom.”

  “I guess that’s what al
l men wanted in those days.”

  “Yes, except Joel took everything a step farther than a normal man. He wanted everyone to covet what he had, especially his wife. She had to have facials twice a week, watch her weight, and always be vivacious in public. For private times, he hired a madam to give her lessons in pleasing a man. She was forced to watch demonstrations on her own husband of how to perform fellatio exactly the way Joel liked it done to him. And he watched as a hired man taught her how to enjoy being buggered. In later years when he had mistresses, he salved his conscience by forcing Josie to take other men.”

  “I thought he wanted other men to covet her, not have her?”

  “He did. But he believed when they tasted Josie and saw how good she was in bed, they’d envy him more. At parties in his home, he would give permission for a favored friend or on occasion, two at once, to share his wife. Sometimes he gave her no warning. He simply led her to the bedroom where the man or men were waiting. He would strip her in front of them and have her strike various poses to show off her beauty. Sometimes out of spite or simply because it pleased him, he told her what he expected of her the morning of the party. That way he could observe her nervousness all day.”

  Hannah gasped and put a hand to her throat. “He was that much of a monster? What did he do while other men screwed his wife?”

  “Usually he did not join the men in fucking and buggering her. He watched from the sitting room so they wouldn’t feel constrained. After they left, he’d be so aroused he’d make her suck him off before he could fall asleep. If that wasn’t enough for his ravenous sexual appetite, he’d fuck her, make her blow him up again, and bugger her. He enjoyed hearing foul words come from her sweet mouth and asked her to tell him what she enjoyed that the men did to her. If she didn’t sound sincere and excited about it, he’d punish her by leaving the house for days without telling her where he went or what he did. At other times, he devised some other draconian discipline and he devised many over the years. He thought it great fun to humiliate this woman who was held in higher regard by society than he ever could be.”

  “Stop. I don’t want to hear any more.” Hannah pressed her eyes closed and turned away. “Why did she put up with it? Why didn’t she leave him?”

  “By this time they had children and in those days his money would have kept them away from her. Also, she wasn’t strong enough psychologically to protest anything he asked of her. She’d been raised to be obedient.” Slim paused. “You don’t have to hear this.”

  “No, I’m okay. I want to know.”

  “Josie was blissfully happy when each child was born. Joel always treated her like a queen for presenting him with proof of his manhood. And she did love him, even after the first time he made her fuck another man. She believed she was helping him in his business dealings and, with her low self-esteem, she thought that was a woman’s duty, to service men. Unfortunately, she did it so well and was so beautiful, seeing her submissive behavior with other men was a turn-on to Joel. Like a drug addiction, he wanted more and more. Josie went along with whatever a man asked of her without complaint. The men loved it and it drove Joel crazy with lust.”

  “Did their children, my grandfather, Wade, and Aunt Amelia turn out mean like Joel? I never heard anything bad about them. But then my mother died when I was so young and I don’t remember her saying anything but good things about her father. I only recall Grandpa Wade as a jolly man who bounced me on his knee and always had a piece of candy to sneak to me when my nanny wasn’t watching.”

  “Fortunately, your grandpa Wade and his sister, Amelia, both took after their mother, not Joel.” Slim swigged the rest of his whisky. Do you know anything about Princess’s daughter, Hannah?”

  “I seem to remember Aunt Amelia mentioning her, but I’ve forgotten what she said. Didn’t Princess’s daughter die when she was very young?” Slim nodded but said no more about it. Hannah was also silent for moments as she digested all she’d heard. “I hadn’t known those things about Joel. Aunt Amelia never said a bad word about anybody.”

  “Perhaps I shouldn’t have told you.”

  “No, no. I want to know everything about the family I came from and those who discovered this gold mine.” She took in a deep breath and whooshed it out. “Okay, we’ve covered almost all of the original owners, Hannah Brown, Wade, Brady, Rocco, and Andre, who was not an owner, but part of the family. I have a clear picture of them and what they were all about. What happened to Sam and Gus? What did they do with all their riches?”

  “I will relate their story another time. I’d better lead you out of here before it gets too late. I’d hate to have you driving alone around this place in the dark.”

  “No one’s waiting for me. I can stay as long as I want.” Hannah wanted more about these people and she wanted more of being with Slim.

  “You can’t. Your father may call and worry when he can’t reach you. The servants will wonder why you haven’t returned and Bolt will be frantic if he can’t text you.” He came around the bar. Hannah sat, arms crossed, feet planted, jaw set.

  “You have the defiant posture and facial expression of a recalcitrant child.” Slim grinned at her, hesitated, then shot her a lecherous leer. “I want you to stay—all night if you only would.”

  Her eyes widened. She uncrossed her arms, stood, and averted her gaze from him to a point beyond the bar. Slim was a dangerous indulgence and he was right. She was being childish. She had responsibilities to other people. “Of course, you’re right. I should get going and I do need to text Bolt before he worries.”

  “Are you going to tell him about me?”

  She stared at her feet. “Maybe when he comes home from the ranch next week.”

  “Will you tell him about this?” He stepped close, hands behind her head, and kissed her long and hard.

  When he let her go, she leaned against the bar for support. “You have to stop doing that. I belong to Bolt.” The rasp in her voice revealed how much his kiss affected her. She cleared her throat but didn’t miss the flash of victory in his eyes.

  He ran a hand over her distended nipples. “These give you away every time.” He nuzzled her neck. “You can’t deny what you desire. If I led you to the couch right now and kept kissing you, my cock would be inside you in two minutes.”

  “That may be true, which is why I am not going near the couch with you.” She struggled out of his hold. “I told you. I can never cheat on Bolt. I won’t.”

  “It wouldn’t be cheating if he were here with you.”

  Hannah closed her eyes and shivered. She wanted them both. Like the first Hannah, she wanted the two men she loved inside her. Her lids fluttered and when she raised her head Slim was smirking as if he’d read her thoughts.

  Hannah whisked her water bottle from the bar top and side-stepped Slim to move closer to the door. “He’d never do it. He’s a scientist and won’t believe you exist.”

  “You won’t know until you ask. Unless I miss my guess, he’s a lot like Wade and Brady who would do whatever made Hannah Brown happy.”

  After a long pause and a sip of water, she turned back to Slim, still reluctant to leave him. “What’s it like to be a ghost?”

  “Changing the subject, I see. Okay.” Hands stuffed in his pockets, he sauntered to the couch. “A ghost is free of bodily aches and of aging.” He ran his fingers along the back of the couch. “And, until now, free of real emotion. I’ve gone for decades not feeling much except disdain for the human angst I see in my travels.” He propped a hip on the arm of the couch and cocked his head to look into Hannah’s eyes. “Hannah, I’m drawn to you by some internal thread that connects us.”

  “You’re confusing me with someone else—some other Hannah from long ago. No, don’t turn away.” She strode to him, took his chin in her hand, and kept him facing her. “Is it me you want, this Hannah from the twenty-first century? Or are you pining for an ancient Hannah that got away?”

  “Before I answer that, you answer this. How can
a ghost be scared?” He removed her hand from his face and used it to pull her into his arms. He kissed her deep and long. They parted, breathless and panting.

  “I’m scared, too. Bolt is my soul mate. I’ve know that forever, yet I can’t deny what I feel for you.”

  “My bedroom is but a few steps away.”

  “I want you, yes, but it’s more than that. What you said about an internal thread was not wrong. It’s impossible to explain since you don’t exist in any real sense. Yet, the feelings are very real and very powerful. It must be somehow mixed up in the reason you’re here and the reason I can see you and talk to you and touch you. You want something more from me than sex, something you refuse to tell me.”

  Slim turned from her. He leaned his body against the back of the couch. “You’re getting carried away with ghost stories.”

  “No, no. I’m right. I can feel it.” She leaned across the arm of the couch, so close to his face she felt his breath coming out in short rapid gusts on her cheek. “You want much more from me than a quickie. What are you not telling me, Slim, or whatever your real name is? What do you want from Bolt?”

  “Bring him back here with you, Hannah, if you want the truth. I’m not his rival. I just want to love you.”

  “All righty, then. If you are not going to come clean, take me out of here.”

  After a short pause where he blinked first, he took her hand and led her through the tunnels. He waited at the mine’s entrance while she got into her car and drove off.

  Hannah didn’t stop at her house. She drove toward Bolt’s father’s ranch. She would surprise him with a visit just as he’d surprised her a few nights ago. No way would she go back to the mine anymore. She’d found out most of what she wanted to know about her ancestors. And she would not be able to resist the enigmatic ghost any longer. He was somehow in her blood, though he swore he was not a relation. She was missing something, something important. Slim was dangerous, appealing but dangerous. He was manipulating her and he wanted to manipulate Bolt. Why? Why, why, why? Who was he, really?